Chapter 53: a very small chapter 4

 

“Fuck! Fuck!” 

I anxiously paced around my room listening to the sounds of everyone waking up. 

I was battling the intrusive thoughts of last night. I wanted to desperately forget it. To pretend it never happened. I knew it was wrong on so many levels, but a small part of me couldn’t stop rejoicing. 

I felt sick to my stomach and started biting my nails down to the skin of my fingers. A terrible habit of mine that resurfaced once again. 

“Shit!” 

What am I going to do? I can’t go downstairs. 

I was startled by the smell of breakfast wafting into my room. 

But if I don’t, then it’s going to seem weird. Then Miyuki and Saya will get suspicious… especially Saya! 

That is.. unless..

God no! No! No! No! No! I’m already in a precarious situation with Saya as it is. I know what she said before about helping me and blah blah blah. but... she’s not exactly rational. I don’t need anything blowing her top.

“Fuck!”

I begrudgingly got dressed for school before heading to my door. 

My hand lingered on the door knob as I inhaled a deep breath. 

This is going to suck. 

After a self deprecating laugh, I slowly opened my door and proceeded to head down stairs. 

It’s kind of quiet? This just makes it feel so much worse. 

Once I walked into the kitchen, I was greeted by the sight of Kenzie running around like a chicken with her head cut off. Frantically flipping pancakes while struggling to properly fold her omelets. But, once I walked into the kitchen she turned into a deer in headlights. 

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Out of the corner of my eye Saya and Miyuki were giving me very unsettling looks.  

Miyuki looked.. dead. That’s the best way I can describe it. Her eyes were like that of a lifeless fish as she silently stared at me. 

Saya on the other hand…

She had those same empty eyes very reminiscent of a yandere. But, she looked perfectly calm. Not angry, upset, happy, nothing. Just a blank slate.

They.. know.. 

THEY KNOW! THEY KNOW!!!! OH!!! FUCK! THEY KNOW!!!

ARRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!

The world twisted and warped in strange ways and time came to a grinding halt. 

My heart pounded as I observed the three women in front of me. My palms were sweaty and my stomach churned horribly. I could feel my eye twitching uncontrollably and it was becoming steadily more difficult to breathe. 

I… I can’t do this. I can’t do this. I can’t do this. 

I fucked up! I fucked up! I’m fucked up! I can’t do this! 

Suddenly, It felt like something inside of me snapped. 

“I…I'll be right back. I have to use the bathroom.” 

No one said anything as I turned heel and walked towards the front door, before quietly slipping out of the house.

With no real idea of what I wanted to do, or where to go, I let my body make the decision as I began to walk. There was only one thought in my head. 

I can’t go back. 

 

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