Chapter 1: Prologue

White.

Everything is white.

I open my eyes and see absolutely nothing but the color white. And there doesn't seem to be an end to it, nor does it have corners or — or sides, or shapes, or forms, just pure white.

It just seems like something one could see when they enter the afterlife.

Does that mean…

…Am I dead?

I could be. I pause. Am I not upset I'm dead? Should I be upset in the first place? Even if I was dead, how did I die? Where did I die? As a matter of fact, who am I?

I have no memories of anything. I don't know my name, my age, where I lived, who my parents are — it's like a blank slate when I try to remember. There's no memories of anything.

I walk. Nothing. I continue walking.

Nothing.

So, I stop.

"Hello?" I say, softly. "Can anybody hear me?"

Maybe a god or a Reaper or anybody or anything.

I walk again.

I don't feel anxious, even if I feel like I should. To be fair, I don't feel anything. I try pinching myself but I don't even feel my skin.

"What am I right now?" I ask myself, but just like anything I have seen so far, nothing.

As my feet continue to walk, I hear it. A sound. Murmurs. There's no other way for me but to move forward so I do.

As the noises get nearer and nearer, things are starting to get shapes. They're still white, overall, but I can tell when something seems to be a wall, or a door. I'd like to touch one but my instincts are telling me no.

And then I reach where the noises come from.

In the middle of nowhere, there's someone sitting on a chair. In front of them is a table with paper. They're smiling while looking ahead.

I greet them. "Hello?"

The… someone turns their head towards me. "Welcome! How can I help you?"

I look around, starting to feel like I should feel bewildered. But slowly, I walk towards them. "Yes, I just woke up here… so I was thinking…"

"Oh, yes." They clap their hands and immediately take the paper and start reading. "You are due for a reincarnation. But apparently, your soul didn't make it to the process."

"...isn't that bad?" I ask. Blinking, I add. "And wait, I am due to reincarnation? How many times have I reincarnated?"

"As much as you had." They answer with no hesitation.

That's like saying it's classified. "Okay…" there's nothing I can do about this. "Where should I go if I'm not getting reincarnated? "Can you just tell me what I should do, then?"

"Wait."

…What? "I should just wait?"

"Yes." The person nods. "Any minute now."

As if on cue, a voice suddenly exclaims.  "Wait! Wait! Did the soul — oh, there you are!" If I could feel shocked right now, I would. Because I think I'm seeing what seems to be the actual reaper. They are wearing a hood and hiding their body that I can't see even a tiny bit of skin. And a weapon. The one that fictional Reapers have. Wow. I feel like seeing a celebrity. "I was looking all over for you! I should have told you to stay still!" To the one sitting, they say, "Sorry, The One. Did this bother you?"

"Not at all!" The One exclaims. "You may go now."

Death clears their throat and is about to say something when —

"It is not within my scope to tell you what to do, Death."

Obvious disappointment all over their demure but still, Death says, "Great, thanks." Then to me, they motion for me to follow them. "Let's go."

I follow Death while looking back at The One. What the fuck does that mean?

"The One is the all-knowing existence in this place." Death explains. "We call them The One because they're the closest thing we have to what mortals call a god."

…I didn't ask but thank you?

"Um, excuse me, but why am I here?" I ask, straightforwardly. "I'm apparently due to reincarnation but I didn't make it to the process. I'm guessing it's because of you?"

"That's correct." 

"I don't like the sound of that."

"As you should."

I groan. I don't feel frustrated but it's a close thing. "Why?"

They don't answer me. Instead, they stop in the middle of… nothing, as usual and murmurs to themselves. "Hmm. This seems fine." With the weapon in their hand, they hold it above and slowly, the scenery changes.

Suddenly, I am no longer in a nothing but white place but water. I look down and see the sand beneath my feet, I feel the salty but warm breeze against my skin, the smell of fresh air.

I am in the sea.

"Where are we?"

"Peace."

I look at Death, confused. "Peace?"

"Peace." Death replies. "Or your current version of Peace."

I turn my head back to the water. The waves touch the sand, and then it goes back to the sea.

I see.

This is my version of Peace.

"What do you feel while you're here?" Death asks.

I try to feel.

Sand. Air. Warm.

"Good?"

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"You don't feel the sea calling for you?"

"No."

"My name is Death. My main reason for existence is that I am to pick up souls that are in the mortal plane and bring them to Life, who will bring them to their Reincarnation or here, to Peace. And Peace could be anything. It could be this. It could be a moment of their life that they want to go back to, or it could be never. Or a constant of nothing."

I don't understand why they are telling me this but I think I'm supposed to try to. "You mean Peace is different for every soul?"

"That is correct. And the thing is, even one soul could have a different kind of Peace, depending on the last life they have lived. Maybe in this one, you liked the sea. but the previous life you led could be different."

Okay. That makes sense.

"But there's one constant thing in every Peace and that is there will be a feeling of something calling for you. Souls that are not reincarnated will be given Peace before the call will take them even I don't know where. Another side of Afterlife that I haven't touched myself."

I don't feel… any call.

Which means I'm not yet supposed to go there. But I can't be processed for reincarnation either.

Which means…

"I'm an anomaly?" I conclude.

Death doesn't answer and somehow, I knew.

Like, when you talk to someone and you ask them a question that seems so mundane, it shouldn't matter, but they never answer. And suddenly, the answer seems to be the biggest, and most important thing in your life because you know, by that point, your life has changed forever.

"Why?"

Death sighs. "I'll be completely honest with you, I can't explain it myself. All I can do is try to help you and maybe it will make sense to you by some time."

"How are you going to help me?" I ask.

Death sighs even harder.

*

"Lady Mayumi," a very irritating voice calls. "Why are you still sleeping? In a week's time, your husband is coming to get you. Stop brooding just because the Crown Prince finally stopped —"

I groan. My head hurts, even worse than a bad hangover. I need a few minutes to gather my thoughts.

Remembering what Death had told me, my head hurts even harder.

I will send you to a world and there, you will just have to wait for a man named Yves Laurent to come to you and you will help him.

You really won't tell me what this is about?

No.

But why?

Because there is no sense of finding out the truth in the month of somebody else. Because it won't be your truth. It would be mine and we are a completely different entity. Death paused. I will give you a gift. For your safety. Even if you are there for borrowed time, you need to keep yourself safe.

Everybody is in borrowed time, that's why the concept of death exists.

But they are living a life like a blank slate, Death countered. You are not.

Death had a point but I'm still slightly salty about it.

"Have you gone mad?" The voice asks, exaggerated. "Did you drink? I know you are upset about the Crown Prince breaking your engagement but this is not right! You are still a Lady of nobility! This is why the Crown Prince has left you!"

The pain has started to subside as whoever is on the door was talking. I can now sit up. I brush my hair and sigh. I look over the door and find… a woman in a maid outfit.

"Will you please give me some water to drink?" I croak out. My throat feels so dry for some reason.

The maid starts clicking her tongue. "As a lady, you should have known your limits. I will tell this to the Duke and the Duchess so they can discipline you."

I'm just starting to gather my thoughts.

Crown Prince. Lady Mayumi. Duke and Duchess.

Fuck.

This smells a lot like trouble for me.

"Can you get me the water or do you want to continue yapping there?" I need her out so I can think.

"Disrespectful wench!" She exclaims angrily. "The Duke —"

"If you don't want to get me the water, at least shut up."

Her eyes grow wider and she points at me with her index finger. "You're still acting this way when the Crown Prince already had abandoned you for your sister! You no longer have the privilege to act mighty —"

I don't want to be a classist. I think in my previous life, I grew up quite differently than this because I feel uncomfortable calling anyone a servant or maid. But for the sake of reducing sanity, I really need to put this woman into place.

"Do you think my only privilege in life is the Crown Prince?" I ask coldly. "Do you think I can't pay the wrong people to accidentally kill you?"

Her face goes stiff. "That's…"

"Get the hell out of my room and give me damn water. Or don't. But at least leave my sight before I lose patience."

She visibly swallows and bows in a manner that says I don't respect you but I'm scared. She hurriedly leaves the room, and after a few seconds, it feels like she wasn't there in the first place.

I stand up. I look down when I feel something soft against my feet and it's a luxurious carpet. I jump. It feels real. It looks real.

I glance around the room — the aesthetic seems to be ancient Europe where there's an abundance of royalty and castles.

I feel my heart is beating fast.

It's starting to sink in.

I breathe shakingly.

Across me is a big window covered by a curtain. Slowly, I walk towards it. I grab the curtains, and push it off to the side and find myself face to face with one of the most gorgeous scenery I've seen in my life.

The sun is up high, and there are flowers blooming everywhere. A huge garden is outside and it looks like paradise, almost.

It just sinks in.

A knock on the door makes me go back to my senses.

"Lady Mayumi," another voice, this time. Not the annoying one. "This is your servant, Erica. The Duke has requested your presence at the breakfast table."

…Fuck?

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