Chapter 77: 77. A Guilty Heart (part 2)

Silence pervaded the air. For some time, no one uttered a word. Colt could feel his heart in trepidation. His lips quivered as he felt a sense of fear.

The cat by his side watched him. It contemplated on whether if it should activate the line or not. In the end, it didn’t do anything as the passive gift it gives is already in effect.

This is its partner’s tribulation of the heart. Helping him will only do him worst more than good. Besides, he already has all the support that he needed in the form of Mina holding his hand.

The silence was suffocating, but like the night, it will be broken after some time.

“What is it that you mean, son? I can see that you are fearful, but worry not. I will hear your words from start to finish, but you must only speak the truth, and only the truth.” Shickly’s voice was soft and calm.

Colt was aware of his father’s consideration. He found this uplifting, and with Mina by his side giving him a much-needed push, the courage the original did not have appeared for him to speak his story.

Like what Shickly had wished of him, Colt spoke of truth. Starting from what happened four years ago to now, he told them everything. Not leaving a single detail, even his mistakes, his lustful and undignified past, were uttered.

He told them everything; the fact that his lies continued for years, that Mina was the first to know of this secret, and that he had been doing everything for the sake of his daughter, he laid bare all of his mistakes for his family to hear.

Risa was aghast at his past doings. But at the same time, she could not help but feel a thorn in her heart. She had been criticizing her Older Brother for a long time when she doesn’t even know what’s going on.

Lyra, who barely understood Colt could only react after hearing the death of Colt’s old flame and her last words. She was the first to let out a whimper and cry. Shortly after her, Risa also felt tears welling up.

“For four years, I’ve been sneaking out of the guards’ and your eyes in order to sneak into the orphanage and take care of her. I had been afraid of letting you know the truth; I couldn’t face my family, for I feared for her being looked down upon and being mistreated…no, that’s not exactly true.

“I was more afraid of myself being outcasted and being thrown away. My dallying actions had resulted in the death of an innocent woman. If only I had called for help… Filla's...Filla’s mother could have been saved.

“I was afraid of the fact that I would be abandoned and failed to see the bigger picture. I deluded myself thinking what I am doing is the right thing, trying to see past the mistakes that I have committed and resulted in a massive failure that I cannot face…I am a coward who deserves no praise!!

“But not anymore. I speak of these words of truth as a sign of my determination to prove that I am done running away from what I have done. The child did nothing wrong. I bear all the blame, Father, Mother, I am not deserving of anything. I am nothing but a cowardly-trash!”

Colt grabbed his thigh; his flesh almost rendered by himself as he felt he could tear himself to bits. His eyes were beginning to redden, but he stilled his tears.

He wishes not to accept pity so he can wholeheartedly meet out his words. For him to stand on his intentions, he must keep his back straight to reflect the determination he held through his words and action.

Colt looked at Shickly’s eyes and tried to look strong. Faerith was silent. She was showing no major emotion to anything that Colt had said.

It took some time, but Shickly finally opened his mouth to speak.

“My son, you have done something detestable that merits a hundred lashes.”

His words pierced Colt’s heart. His hope began to crumble with this sentence alone.

“Letting lust take over you, impregnating a woman, and due to pride letting the mother of your first daughter die. If you had manned up and came to our doorsteps and asked for help, death would have been avoidable. Your pride and cowardice caused her one chance in life.

“The wave of your actions also brought upon a myriad of consequences. You were engaged to the lovely Young Miss Mina knowing full well by doing so will result in her honor being tarnished…”

“Wait a minute; my Darling was~!”

Mina, who was beside Colt, wanted to say something. But she felt his tight grip and stayed put.

Shickly continued his interrupted words…

“…like you have said, you were a coward who ran away from what he had done. But that doesn’t mean that you are trash.”

“Huh?” Colt’s eyes widened upon hearing his father’s words. He was not expecting him to utter these words.

“Your mistakes were your lies and the fact that your cowardice resulted in someone’s death. You are a coward, indeed, but in respect to her wishes, you did your best to keep her last words. You even asked the help of others in an attempt to keep the child alive when you could’ve let things bury the past. You already failed, and in that failure, you already wallowed in despair and walked through the darkness.

“In the shadows, you supported your daughter. You faced the humiliation you feared when you became a wastrel to cover your tracks as to not subject her to any form of ridicule and the disgusted looks of nobility. In your own way, you protected her with everything you can, isn’t that right?”

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Colt nodded his head. He was still left speechless.

Shickly looked at his son with a serious expression.

“For your daughter, you changed and became the person that you are now. And the fact that you can now face the darkness head-on in order to show your daughter the light you cannot give her means that you are no longer a coward. I may not be able to fully judge you, but, Colt Edgeworth, you are a man who bravely faced his mistakes against all the odds.”

These words from his father caused Colt to finally shed tears.

The original was long gone, but this redemption, this acknowledgment was felt in his soul. He and the original are one and the same.

Finally, the darkness Colt had been trying to pierce had opened. His guilty heart found freedom, and as he looked at his father, who held a stable expression and his smiling mother before uttering the words, “Thank you.”

Finally, he was able to say those words.

Finally, he managed to acknowledge himself.

And as Colt wiped his tears away, he heard Faerith speak.

“Son, why not bring her here for us to meet? She is our granddaughter, after all.”

“…Yes.” Colt stood up and bowed to his parents before leaving the dining area with Mina.

The two sisters also left and decided to follow the two leaving the Count and Countess alone in the dining area.

Inside the dining room where the Count and Countess were left alone, Faerith stood up and walked over to Shickly.

She forcefully turned Shickly’s chair to face her then locked eyes with her husband before giving him a smile that is full of warmth.

Her slender arms wrapped itself to Shickly and pulled him to her bosom. With a soft voice, she spoke.

“They are gone now, Shickly dear…it’s fine.”

With those words, the battle-hardened Shickly known to watch death with a smile trembled. His whole was shaking. His hands touched his wife’s arms, and then…he began to cry.

“Dammit…what a useless father I am. Known as the pillar of the military, and yet I can’t even act like a father and support him in his darkest times. Letting him do what he wants, I thought he was like me from the past, a man who loves to drink...

“I couldn’t see past his actions; he was calling me for help, and I couldn’t hear it! Dammit, dammit, so much for a dignified father! So much for being a man! DAMMIT!”

The Count cried. He laid down Colt the verdict, calling him out of his mistakes when he himself was useless. He was a father, a man who was supposed to guide his children, and yet he let such a thing happen.

“I am useless! What use of a father who can’t even help his child!? How can I be so shortsighted if only…shit!”

Even a man such as himself feels emotion. He may show indifference, but that is a mere façade of being the family head. For Shickly, he’s a father before he’s a man of the military.

Countess Faerith tightly held her husband. She too finally let go of her tears.

She had been trying to hold it in since Colt was telling his story. Faerith didn’t cry because she knows that Shickly will shortly follow once she lets go.

“It’s okay …we’ll do things differently now. We can help him now…it’s okay, my love.”

The Count and Countess known as the Tigers of the South, but they are parents. And as parents, they could not help but feel saddened by Colt’s hardships.

The two cried.