Chapter 11: 11

When I woke up, Ji Qin was sitting next to my bed taking a nap.

 

       I felt bad all over, but when I saw his face, which looked as if he hadn’t slept well for days in a row, I resisted the urge to wake him up.

 

       Ji Qin… was actually keeping me company.

 

       I couldn’t say whether I was touched or moved, or whether I just made a peace with myself, but either way, I knew that I still deeply love this person.

 

       Alas, anyway… a miss was still a miss.

 

       Ji Qin was awakened by my movement. When he opened his eyes, he happened to meet my line of sight. He was in a trance for a moment before he said hoarsely, “……you’re awake, I’ll go call the doctor.”

 

       “Ji Qin.” As I saw that he was leaving, I hurriedly stopped him.

 

       I didn’t know why, but maybe deep down I dreaded the thought of him leaving?

 

       “Thank you for staying with me.” He turned his head suspiciously, and I whispered hesitantly.

 

       Ji Qin had no expression on his face, but when he heard my words, he suddenly frowned deeply, strode up to me, and leaned down—

 

       “Listen carefully, I don’t want you to get into any more trouble.”

 

       I froze, not understanding what he meant.

 

       Ji Qin stared into my eyes as if it was the first time he had ever looked at me like that, a gaze so sharp it could pierce my soul.

 

       “Ze’an will come back.” He opened his lips and said one word at a time, “But if his body is destroyed, he won’t be able to come back.”

 

       My mouth dropped open, suddenly not knowing what to say.

 

       Actually, I should be… have gotten used to it.

 

       Ji Qin never believed what I said anyway.

 

       But I was still sad.

 

       The fingers hidden under the covers quietly moved to my stomach, which was still faintly aching, and I whispered, “I know, I haven’t been sleeping well for a while, and I didn’t think ……”

 

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       Before the words were out of my mouth, Ji Qin had already left without looking back.

 

       I took my words back, and my heart grew more and more disappointed.

 

       Everything was as I had expected.

 

       There was nothing to look forward to, and nothing to be sad about.

 

       It was almost over.

 

       After the doctor’s examination, he suggested that I should stay in the hospital for observation for a day and leave tomorrow.

 

       I agreed. Ji Qin stood by my side and listened patiently to the doctor’s instructions on how to take care of my body in the future as if he really was my lover.

 

       Of course I already knew that everything he did was not for me.

 

       The next day Ji Qin drove me back, and we were very silent all the way. I secretly looked at him out of the corner of my eye, and the corners of his lips were pursed tightly, and he seemed to be in a bad mood.

 

       I felt like I haven’t seen him smile in a long, long time.

 

       In the past, when I pursued him, he was also so indifferent, but I have seen his smile; when taking care of stray dogs and cats on campus, when helping his classmates… I firmly believed that he was someone who was distant and was actually a very gentle person.

 

       Did I change him?

 

       I really couldn’t figure it out, what I was doing by insisting so much on coming back to change my life……

 

       I didn’t say anything all the way, and I was a little drowsy, but my nerves kept tensing involuntarily. I thought about how Ji Qin had said yesterday that I should be forbidden to take sleeping pills. What should I do with my sleep during this time? It was too painful and torturous to keep my eyes open for a long night. If I order melatonin, the effect on me is not as great as that of sleeping pills. Ordinary sleep aids no longer work for me. I…

 

       What do I do?

 

       After returning home, Ji Qin told me he had to go to work, and went straight out the door.

 

       I still feel uncomfortable physically, but when I look at the calendar, I feel that time flies too fast. If I didn’t race against the clock to do something I like, I was afraid it would be too late.

 

       No matter how disappointed and powerless I was in my life today, it was enough for me to do my own thing and pass on the love and blessings that should be passed on

 

       With that in mind, I locked myself in the fake Ze’an’s former studio again.

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