Chapter 135: Book 6 Chapter 20

“So, not that I’m not grateful you’re here or anything,” Joan said to Qakog. “Actually, no. I’m not grateful you’re here. I’m confused. Why are you here at all? How did you even GET here?”

“That’s a little harsh, don’t you think?” Vivian asked before she stepped into the room. “He’s been worried about you as well, you know.”

“Everyone worries about me,” Joan said. “I worry about me. It doesn’t answer any of my questions.”

“I earned the right!” Qakog said proudly. “Through many trials and tribulations I was granted permission to join this human settlement in order to aid my future bride and earn your hand.”

Joan blinked a few times before glancing to Bauteut. “Help?”

Bauteut snickered and shook her head. “I don’t know, he might be useful if we want to keep things from getting out of hand. He could be the final challenge for any potential suitors.”

Joan sighed and took another small bite of her food while she tried to process this. Qakog just kept staring at her with those big, excited eyes of his. She had to admit it was almost endearing now that she knew him at a time when he wasn’t trying to either murder her or hated her for all the trouble she caused. “Fine, why not? You know you have to become stronger than me if you want to earn that right. What are you going to do if you never can?”

Qakog blinked a few times and stared at her. All of his energy seemed to have crumbled. She almost felt bad. She decided to stuff the rest of her meal in her mouth before she said something she regretted. It didn’t have much flavor, but at least it felt decent in her stomach.

“You may be right,” Qakog said softly. “You’ve grown a lot since we last met, becoming even more radiant than I remember. I will have to push myself even harder if I wish to overtake you. If it is impossible, then… I suppose…” The demon trailed off and Joan felt a small bit of relief. “I suppose I will have to be your bride.”

Joan choked on the porridge, her hand quickly covering her mouth and coughing a few times. Mercifully Bauteut shoved a cup into her hand and she quickly downed it, clearing her throat and allowing her to breathe again. She took a few seconds to cough before speaking up again. “What? You can’t be my bride! Boys can’t be a bride! That’s not allowed!”

“Ah, then I suppose you will just have to be my bride,” Qakog said with a proud, smug smile that made her suspect he thought he just cleverly outsmarted her.

“That’s not, that doesn’t even, I don’t even, how do, what? Bauteut?” Joan asked again.

“Why do you keep asking her?” Qakog asked. “She gave up her betrothal to you! She was unwilling to fight for it, I am not!”

“Wait, what?” Searle asked. “Betrothal? To Bauteut? You never mentioned that.”

“Didn’t I?” Bauteut asked, her voice tinged with amusement. “Don’t worry, I’ll explain later. It’s only relevant if Qakog ever beats you, right? Besides, I think Qakog offers an interesting alternative. He might make a pretty bride.”

Joan just looked between the three of them. What in the world was wrong with the people she’d surrounded herself with? She wondered if it was just the fact they had to be a part of her life. Wait. She glanced around and finally her eyes locked onto Vivian and Myrin. They’d been awfully quiet this entire time and now she knew why.

The two WERE flirting with each other.

Joan could see the pair of them whispering to each other. Myrin’s cheeks going bright red and lightly giggling, before whispering back. The two didn’t even seem to be paying any attention to her at all. She felt a small pang of jealousy flare through her. Even when she was the Hero she’d rarely seen Myrin smile in such a relaxed manner. It was as dazzling as ever, but it wasn’t fair that she only showed it to--

Joan quickly shook her head and lightly slapped her cheeks. No. Bad thoughts waited that way. She turned back towards Bauteut who was just giving her an amused look. “Are you okay?”

“I’m not as resistant to elf charms as I thought,” Joan said sheepishly. “Right, where was I? Right. Okay, first of all. A boy can’t be a bride. Second of all, I never agreed to be anyone’s betrothed. I’m not even considering it until all of this stuff is done and I don’t have to worry about my… err. Visions any--”

“Oh, he knows,” Bauteut said.

“OH COME ON!” Joan said, unable to keep the annoyance out of her voice. “HOW? Why? HOW?”

“I pieced it together,” Qakog said proudly.

“He pieced enough of it together that, well, we didn’t have a lot of choice,” Bauteut said with a shrug. “He doesn’t know everything, but he knows enough.”

“Yes,” Qakog said proudly before reaching out to try and take her hand again. Joan managed to block it by shoving the empty bowl into his hand. He paused for a moment before shrugging. “I care not what strange place or time you are from. Lady Joan, I will not rest until I have earned your hand.”

“So, you do know this means I cheated,” Joan said.

“It is not cheating to be a more capable warrior,” Qakog said firmly. “You bested me with only your own skills. One day, I will do the same for you.”

Joan just gave a soft sigh. How in the world did this guy grow up to earn Korgron? He reminded her too much of how she used to be. Blindingly running into the future, demanding that it all worked out in the end regardless of how difficult it was.

…

Okay, so at least she was now willing to accept the POSSIBILITY that it wouldn’t turn out the way she wanted. And she didn’t do it in such an annoying, bouncy way.

“Sure, whatever,” Joan said before giving a light yawn. “I’m too tired to argue, so for now I’ll just trust Searle to keep defending my honor. I take it you have been?”

“Of course,” Searle said with such determination she was a little taken aback.

“Well, um, thank you,” Joan said before glancing back to Qakog. “You don’t actually want to be my bride though, right?”

For once, the smile on Qakog’s face faltered slightly and he looked thoughtful. “No, not particularly. I don’t think I’d want to wear a dress.”

Joan couldn’t help herself. “What? I thought all boys wanted to wear dresses?”

“Is that a human thing?” Qakog asked.

“Uhhhh…” Joan said, her cheeks going red. She then glanced to Searle. “Um, Searle?”

“I don’t want to wear a dress,” Searle said with a shrug, a bewildered look on his face.

“I don’t think most boys do,” Bauteut said. “But lots of girls don’t either, Joan. I’m sure there are plenty of boys who like to wear them. And if he wanted to be a bride, I’m not sure most people would try to stop him. I’ve been watching Qakog duel with Searle and he doesn’t exactly welcome much argument.”

“Indeed,” Qakog said with a thoughtful smirk on his face. “Lord Searle has been a worthy challenger, certainly worthy of being my rival. My capabilities grow grander every day.”

“Uh huh,” Joan said, unable to keep the annoyance out of her voice. “You know if we fight I won’t be holding back.” She doubted it would ever happen. No matter how much Qakog trained, if Searle tried his hardest then he would never be able to keep up. It was impossible to keep up with a Chosen like that. Even if he did, well…

When the Hero fought Qakog, he’d refused to use the Star. He’d wanted to fight Qakog ‘fairly’. In effect, he’d wanted to show off he could win even without a fancy magic weapon while his opponent used his own. She wasn’t going to handicap herself in the slightest, Guardian Nova was going to thrash him if it came down to it.

“Joan? Are you okay?” Bauteut asked.

“Yeah,” Joan said. “Just tired. It has been a long… it has been long.”

“I see,” Bauteut said. “Qakog? Searle? Would you mind if we give her some space? She’s just recovered from quite the ordeal and we don’t want to overtax her so quickly.”

“Very well,” Qakog said before clenching his fist. “Know that I will return for you, my beloved. When you have recovered I will endeavor to always be by your side and never allow such a thing to happen again. Lord Searle, shall we?”

“What? Oh, yes,” Searle said before getting to his feet and giving her one last worried look. “I won’t lose.”

“I know you won’t,” Joan said with a smile. She noticed Qakog tense up slightly, but she decided not to worry about that right now as the two left.

“I won’t stay long,” Vivian said with a delicate smile. “I just wanted to see you and let you know there’s some good news.”

“Oh?” Joan asked.

“Since most of your clothing doesn’t quite fit anymore,” Vivian said. “We’ll be going to Tomefall to get you a new wardrobe. I’ve arranged matters already and we’ll leave once your healers have decided it’s safe for you to travel.”

Joan gave a small nod. “You know what? That actually sounds kind of nice. I, uhhh, sorry. For… growing. Like this. It’s, ummm…”

“It’s fine,” Vivian said with a soothing smile. “Hardwin did much the same when he was a child. I swear he sometimes grew multiple inches in a day.”

Joan gave a light chuckle, but she couldn’t help but wonder if that was true. For a Chosen, maybe.

“Myrin, if you’d like to go, I can watch over Joan for a while,” Bauteut said. “You’ve been tending to her for a while, I’m sure you could use a break.”

“I can’t say no to that,” Myrin said glancing to Vivian. “If you have a moment, perhaps we could continue that discussion about apple pies we were having?”

“Huh? When-- oh! Of course,” Vivian said with a small smile. “Joan, please, take care of yourself. I’d like to keep having a granddaughter.”

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“I’d like to keep being a granddaughter,” Joan said, despite herself. “Err, sorry if that was rude.”

“Not at all,” Vivian said.

Myrin gave Joan a small wave. “Goodbye, Joan. A pleasure to meet you and I hope we can talk more soon.” With those parting words the two headed out the door.

“Everyone is taking this rather well,” Joan said.

“Nobody wants to over stress you,” Bauteut said. “You should have seen everyone a week ago. We’ve all had time to calm down, though.”

“A chance to put on a brave face,” Joan said, the smile on her own face wavering. She remembered doing that more times than she could count.

“Yes,” Bauteut said.

For a long time there was silence and Joan wondered if she’d fall back asleep. Unfortunately, it seemed to be eluding her. She supposed she’d just been sleeping too much. “Bauteut? Where’s Zorn?”

“Where ever he wants to be, I imagine,” Bauteut said. “He’s been fiddling with that new gauntlet of yours and his new ‘pet’. Too much if you ask me. He’s probably just trying to give you a chance to rest after having the Chosen yell at you.”

Joan gave a light snort. Well, she supposed he wasn’t quite as attached to her as some of the others.

“Joan?” Bauteut asked.

“Yes?” Joan asked.

“I think I’m going to go home,” Bauteut finally said.

“You’re going to go see your parents?” Joan asked. “You don’t need to say it like that. I don’t think we’ll be going anywhere special for a bit.”

“Not what I meant,” Bauteut said before giving a heavy sigh. “Joan, this has been amazing. All of this. Scary, but amazing. I’ve seen things and been a part of things that I never dreamed of. But the fact is, I can’t keep up.”

“What?” Joan asked, her stomach knotting up.

“When we were imprisoned, I’d been thinking about it. My duty is to be your healer,” Bauteut said. “I can’t, though. When we were there, I couldn’t heal any of the damage that the fire monster did to us. I tried to brush it off and say I was doing other things, but I’m not. So I tried to learn more. I studied under some of the healers there and just, wow. They’re amazing. I thought I was doing well. But the things they can do? The only person I’ve seen who could do better was Queen Emeline. I tried to keep up. But then this. You’re not a hard case, Joan. You’re a unique case, special.”

“I’m not--”

“You left for like an hour and then Searle came back with you on the verge of death,” Bauteut said, tears having formed in the corner of her eyes. “I couldn’t help. It took me and Korgron working so hard to keep things from getting worse. Then we met Myrin and she… she puts even the queen to shame. She makes her look like, well, like me. A rookie. Pathetic. I just… I can’t do this anymore.”

“Bauteut, don’t--”

“Don’t,” Bauteut said. “I know what you’re going to say. But you just don’t need me now. No, worse than that. I’m supposed to take care of you. But I can’t. I’m your healer and I can’t even say what happened to you. I think you’ve aged like, what, six months? Maybe a year? But for all I know you’ve been gone for three or four years and you’re just really short. This isn’t something that I ever thought possible. It’s not something I should be a part of. I can’t… I can’t help you. I’m just… I’m not good enough. I’m sorry. I’m going to talk to Queen Emeline and… I’m going to have her find someone better than me. Someone who can keep you safe.”

Joan stared at her friend. She couldn’t really mean that, could she? Was she really going to just leave like that? Abandon her?

No. It wasn’t abandoning her. It wasn’t leaving her. It was what was right. It was the smart thing to do. This entire journey was too dangerous to begin with. Bauteut should never have had to be a part of it. Joan gave a small nod. “I… I guess that’s smart.”

“Yeah,” Bauteut said with a weak smile.

“Can we not?” Joan asked gently.

“Excuse me?” Bauteut asked.

“Can we not do the smart thing?” Joan asked.

“Since when do you ever?” Bauteut asked before cringing. “No, I didn’t--”

“That,” Joan said. “That’s what I need.”

“What? How do you need that?”

“Because you’re… you’re like… and I’m…” Joan said, trying to find the words. “I don’t need a healer! It’s great that you are one, but that’s not what I need! I don’t want a healer. I need a friend. I really… I need you.”

“Joan?” Bauteut asked. “I don’t think you--”

Joan reached out and grabbed Bauteut’s hand. “I do! I need a friend. I need you to be there. I need you to tell me when I get those weird or dumb ideas in my head to do them or not do them. I need you to tell me it’s okay when I get sad or scared by something I shouldn’t be. I need you to help me figure out how to… be… anything… I am. I just… I just… please… I just… I don’t know. I just… please… please don’t leave me…”

“Joan,” Bauteut said in a soothing tone. “It’s for your own--”

“Everything is for my own good!” Joan said. “If I need a healer we have Myrin now! If I need a shield I have Searle! If I need someone to destroy something I have Korgron! But you’re the only one who makes me feel… normal. Who makes me feel like it’s okay to be me.”

Bauteut gave a soft, gentle smile before nodding. “I… I guess… if you put it like that, I really can’t go, now can I? If it really is something you need.”

Joan blinked a few times before she finally lunged forward and hugged Bauteut, making the other girl yelp.

“Joan! Don’t, ugh, you’re going to hurt yourself,” Bauteut said, her voice dripping with annoyance.

“You’re an idiot. You can’t just say things like that,” Joan said softly. “It’s not fair. I just… I need my friends. All of them. I need people to keep me grounded and safe and stop me from doing things that are too stupid. Besides, if I get hurt that’s your problem. You’re my healer.”

Bauteut gave a soft, slightly put out sigh before reaching down and gently patting her on the head. “Fine. Fine. I guess… fine. I’ll keep helping, for now. Just try to reduce my workload?”

“No promises, but I’ll try my best,” Joan said with a soft, delicate sniffle. “Please don’t leave me.”

“I won’t,” Bauteut said softly. “I won’t. I’ll be honest, I didn’t actually expect this reaction. I really thought you’d just nod and tell me it was for the best.”

“It probably is,” Joan said softly. “It’s probably the smart, selfless thing to do. But I don’t want to do that. Can I be selfish this time? Please?”

“Fine. But just this once,” Bauteut said before giving a light sniffle. “I guess we can both be a little selfish for now.”

Joan nodded, laying her head against her friend and just relaxing in the hug. “Can I ask one more question?”

“What?” Bauteut asked before tensing slightly.

“Is it really okay for a boy to want to wear dresses?” Joan asked.

Bauteut gave a light snicker. “Ah, right. The Hero, huh? Well, I’ll say it wasn’t entirely unheard of. But I think that’s a little off on the expectations.”

“Oh, because the Hero was suppose to be really tough and manly?” Joan asked.

“No,” Bauteut said. “Because if the Hero was anything like you, I’m not entirely sure he was anything other than a girl. Albeit one in a rather powerful body.”

Joan gave a light snicker and nodded. “Ah, of course. So ‘Joan’ is just what the Hero was after you took out all the power? If that’s true, no wonder he was such a mess.”

“Right, because Joan is never a mess,” Bauteut said with her own matching snicker.

“I am a very controlled mess,” Joan said. “One with very good friends who I am going to selfishly keep nearby so I don’t go insane.”

Bauteut’s head patting stopped and, gently, she hugged Joan. “Well, sometimes it’s nice to hear someone is selfish for you. So I don’t think I mind.”