Chapter 76: Book 4 Chapter 10: Knots

Joan let out a soft hiss of pain while Isla worked. “Ow. Is that really necessary?”

“How have you managed to get this many knots in your hair in one day?” Isla asked before forcing the brush through her hair again. “When was the last time you brushed your hair?”

“It’s short so I don’t have to,” Joan said.

Isla paused for a moment before letting out a soft sigh. “That explains quite a bit.”

“I don’t really have a brush,” Joan said after a few moments of silence.

“I’m sure you do,” Isla said.

“I think I’d know if I had one,” Joan said sheepishly, her cheeks burning. “Usually Bauteut is the one who worries about this kind of stuff, so long as it stays out of my eyes I just run some water and soap through it every so often and it’s fine.”

“Is this a twig?” Isla asked before pulling out a small twig from her hair and holding it up before her. “What were you doing today?”

“Exploring old tombs,” Joan said.

Isla rolled her eyes. “Joan, please don’t be sarcastic.”

“I wasn’t,” Joan said. “We found the Tomb of the Creator. Well, found is a strong word. We found it a lot in past lives. But this is the first time I’ve done it as Joan. It was kind of exciting, to be honest. I actually found this-- OW!” The brush was, less than kindly, yanked through her hair.

“Did you say you found the Tomb of the Creator? As in…?”

“The tomb of the person who created the demons like you? Yeah. I mean, in theory,” Joan said. “We always called it that, but it was never really confirmed. Just a theory that it belonged to them. I--”

“And why, if you knew where it was, are you only just telling us about it now?” Isla asked, though she sounded like she was struggling to suppress the urge to throttle her with the brush. “This--”

“Is one thing of about ten thousand other amazing, insane, exciting and wondrous things I know about,” Joan said. “Or have you not been listening to all the grand adventures that the chosen have been having without me? Because, I’ve got to say, I can’t not remember.”

Isla sighed and shook her head. “Point taken. It’s times like this I just… hmmm…”

“Start to believe I might be telling the truth?” Joan asked.

“Perhaps,” Isla said. “My sister believes you.”

“You still don’t, then?” Joan asked.

“I honestly don’t want to believe, though I think I do,” Isla said.

“Oh? Why don’t you want to believe?” Joan asked.

“Because it would mean that the Hero of Legend, who has fought and protected the world from destruction again and again and led the chosen against some of the world’s greatest forces,” Isla said before running the brush through her hair once more. “Is the same little girl who can’t even keep her hair from getting tangled into a thousand knots. I think I got them all out.”

Joan flushed and lowered her eyes. “I’m sorry, it’s not like I had anyone to teach me this stuff.”

“And the Hero never had to brush his hair?” Isla asked.

“Not really, no,” Joan said before sighing. “I’m not even exaggerating. I, well he walked through mud storms and fought great dirt golems for days. He’d then come out looking fine and dandy. A quick dip in the stream and even his clothes were all better some days. Sure, that wasn’t always the case but it was often enough. Like going through the swamp today? I’ve gone through it like a thousand times. Barely even got bit. Today? I swear I was being eaten alive. I am still itchy in places I didn’t know I could be itchy,” Joan said before giving an exasperated whine. “The Hero had it so good and he didn’t even know. I kind of want to slap him. Or bite him. Or kick him in the shins.”

“Yourself?” Isla asked.

“Yeah,” Joan said. “Kind of. Sometimes it feels like he’s me. Other times it feels like I just know all about him and he’s an entirely different person.”

“That can’t be easy,” Isla said.

“It’s not,” Joan said. “It’s not that bad, is it? Isn’t it being short supposed to help?”

“Your hair? No, I’ve seen worse,” Isla said before motioning to the pool of water. “Let’s go get the rest of that muck off you. This explains one thing, at least.”

“Oh? What?” Joan asked before sliding into the water. While the bathing pools in the palace weren’t nearly as nice or warm as the baths in the human’s castle, it was still oddly relaxing. The fact the water was constantly moving, coming from somewhere and draining out somewhere else also made it easier to feel clean when the gunk was washed away.

“If you aren’t used to trying to keep yourself clean, no wonder you keep looking like a muddy, wet mouse,” Isla said before sliding into the pool besides her.

“So you said you do believe I’m the Hero, kind of?” Joan asked.

“I do,” Isla said. “As much as you can be, at least. Why?”

“The Demon Lord was here,” Joan said.

“He was,” Isla said.

“You didn’t tell him about me,” Joan said.

“Of course I didn’t,” Isla said. “Why would I? You’re not the Hero.”

“But I was,” Joan said.

“But you are not now,” Isla said. “Besides, I don’t trust him. I never have. If all that you say is true, there is good reason not to. He would have killed me in the end. Or somehow erased me from existence entirely.”

“Why did you let him come?” Joan asked. “Aren’t you afraid he’ll try to kill you?”

Isla gave a soft sigh. “Of course I am. But I can’t show that, or it’ll give him an opening he needs. And before you ask, no. Killing him when he comes is not an option. Like it or not, he is still the Demon Lord.”

“He can’t be trusted,” Joan said softly before lightly splashing some of the water forward. “He’s evil. Cruel. Vicious.”

“He’s also a legendary figure to the demons, something our people rally behind. Much like Kazora. Much like the chosen. Much like the Hero,” Isla said.

“Why is that?” Joan asked. “What’s so special about Kazora? Why can’t he just attack it as well? He never hesitated to attack Korgron once she joined our forces. At least, I don’t think he did.”

“Did he ever attack Kazora?” Isla asked.

Joan frowned and tried to remember any time there had been an attack on Kazora. She remembered a few times that demons within the city had tried to kill them, but not any open attacks. “Not on the city, no. He attacked us when we had traveled to other, older cities though. Places that had been part of the Kazora Dynasty at one point. Before it fell, I mean.”

Isla gave her a small smile and a nod. “Exactly. As much as he may hate it, he cannot attack us openly. There are many demons in his army that see Kazora as a symbol. The birthplace of the demons and the home of the creator. Unfortunately, the reverse is also true. We cannot openly oppose him, as there are many within our walls who see him as a symbol. As such, we are at a stalemate. One that was dangerously close to being broken when I was captured.”

Joan nodded, though she couldn’t help feeling a little foolish. That really should have been something she’d known, though she had honestly rarely learned anything about how the demons operated. “I’m sorry about all of that,” Joan said.

“Huh? What?” Isla asked.

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“In those other times,” Joan said. “When I was the Hero. I never saved you. I should have.”

Isla stared at her for a few moments before bursting into laughter, a hand covering her mouth. “You aren’t serious, are you? You can’t honestly believe it was your duty to save me. You didn’t even know me.”

“I was the Hero,” Joan said. “It was kind of in the name. Besides, I saved you now, didn’t I? Well, okay. I didn’t. But I guess I kind of setup the pieces to save you. Wait, no, I did save you! I pushed Penthe off a cliff for you! That counts!”

Isla didn’t even try suppressing her laughter that time, shaking her head while it washed over her. Joan waited patiently, though, a small smile on her lips. Finally, the demon spoke up once more. “Of course, I suppose you did save my life. Shall we call it even, then?”

“Sure, why not?” Joan said, relaxing in the pool of water. “Do you know his name?”

“Who’s?” Isla asked.

“The Demon Lord’s,” Joan asked.

“You don’t?” Isla asked.

“No,” Joan said. “He’s always just been the ‘Demon Lord’. He does have a name, doesn’t he?”

“I do not know,” Isla said. “I’d assume so.”

Joan nodded. She wondered if that was why she didn’t know what her name had been. Was she like the Demon Lord, she had just been the ‘Hero’ and so her name had been forgotten? But she had a childhood, so she’d had to have had a name before she was the Hero.

“So you always assumed it was your duty to save everyone?” Isla asked.

“I did say it was in the name,” Joan said.

“Hmm, saving everyone. But never having to bathe or brush your hair,” Isla said in a teasing tone. “What other benefits did being a hero grant you?”

“Armor,” Joan said.

“Oh? Yes, I imagine you had the finest armor in the land,” Isla said.

“No, I didn’t need it,” Joan said. “Apparently being a hero meant I never had to wear armor. Even when I did, it was more ceremonial or had some magical benefit. It was usually easier to just strengthen my body with magic, as my body was already tougher than most normal armors. Never having to wear a helmet, though. That was nice.”

“Oh? That sounds quite useful,” Isla said. “Anything else?”

“Sleeping,” Joan said. “In most cases? I could just lay down and want to go to sleep and then I would. Unless something was on my mind or there was something going on, I’d just pass out. No tossing, turning, or any of that. Can you believe it? I really miss that one.”

Isla stopped smiling at that. “That one sounds terrible to lose.”

“It really is,” Joan said. “I miss it. Also, I feel I could remember more. Like my brain held things better. I could remember so many tiny details whenever I needed them, usually things that helped solve some old riddle or finish a puzzle in some underground dungeon. Then there was just how much faster I’d learn things and grow. I could spend like, three days of light training and I’d get as much out of it as I can get out of a month of hard training now. Without the consequences of overworking myself. And healing magic, don’t even get me started on healing magic. Healer’s shock flu is miserable and I didn’t even know it was a thing when I was the Hero,” Joan said with a low groan, sinking into the water a little deeper, letting it cover her mouth and blowing little bubbles.

“Oh? It seems being the Hero had a lot of advantages, then,” Isla said. “Is there anything about being Joan you liked more?”

Joan gave a snort and shook her head. However, after a moment she nodded. Isla just gave her a look and Joan lightly lifted her hands up and splashed her.

“Hey!” Isla said, lifting her arms up to shield herself. “That was a real question!”

“That,” Joan said after lifting her head out of the water. “Things like that.”

“What? Splashing me?” Isla asked.

“Yes,” Joan said. “All of those little things I can do now. Like at the festival! I got to wear those cool little fake horns and run around in that pretty dress. I was NEVER able to do something like that as the Hero. I always had to be like. Tough and powerful. But also friendly. But also approachable. But also untouchable. But also not afraid. But also able to sympathize with people who were afraid. To be fair, I think I was really terrible at that one. Now that I’m not the Hero? I think I’ve cried more times since I found out what I was than I ever did in all my lifetimes as the Hero. They feel a lot better now too. And sometimes I can just let go and relax. Or throw myself onto a bed and close my eyes and not think for a little bit. I almost never got to do that as the Hero. There was always something pressing. Sure, I know there is now as well. But at least it’s not always my responsibility. Except when it is. And ummm… there’s one… thing I think I really like. Err, but promise not to tell Korgron?”

“Why would I tell her?” Isla asked.

“Because you’re her big sister,” Joan said. “Please, just promise me? Or any of them?”

“Oh? What?” Isla asked. “I promise I’ll keep it between us.”

“I kind of like the pampering,” Joan said, her cheeks going red. “I mean, it’s frustrating at times. They always treat me like I’m a helpless child. Yes, I know I’m younger and weaker than them. But I’m also a lot older and a lot more capable than I look.”

“That’s not exactly difficult, little wet mouse,” Isla said in a teasing tone.

“Exactly. I wish they would kind of accept that I know kind of what I’m doing. I’m not helpless. I’m just a little delicate,” Joan said sheepishly. “But I kind of like it when they try and make sure my hair is all nice and that my clothes are clean. Even Bauteut always making sure I’m healthy and worrying about me. It makes me happy. Even if they are all a bit over protective.”

“We are, for good reason,” Isla said.

“I think I made a mistake,” Joan said. “Or, well, the Hero did.”

“From what you’ve said, he made a lot,” Isla said.

“But I can kind of remember the time before,” Joan said. “Before I became Joan. The times between. The Three Sisters. Not fully? But the… you’ve heard the stories of the afterlife? Once you die?”

Isla nodded. “Yes. How our souls are taken, cleansed, sent back to the world to live again. Why?”

“I think I remember that,” Joan said. “And I was given choices. I chose some of this, I think.”

“To be a girl?” Isla asked.

“I think? Maybe,” Joan said. “But not that. I think I chose to be alone. I chose to have no family. To be an orphan. Because I didn’t want to have anyone to get in my way. I wanted to focus on this task and just do it. Save the world and be done with it. But I don’t think that was right.”

“Why not?” Isla asked.

“It didn’t make me stronger,” Joan said softly. “I feel weaker. I think in the end that what I really needed, more than anything? Was people to depend on. I don’t even just mean me, though. I think the Hero did too. I just don’t think he knew that. I’d be dead now if not for all of the times that Searle and Bauteut had stepped in to save me. I think I needed that. Now I can’t help but wonder what would have happened if I had had that from the beginning. What if I had had a family? Friends? People who I could have reached out to? Would I be better able to help the chosen?”

Isla gave a small nod. “I suppose you might have been able to. Or things might have gone differently. There’s really no way to know now, is there?”

“Not really, no,” Joan said with a small sigh before letting herself relax against the edge of the pool. “I’m getting better though, right? I went on a whole quest today and everything. Found this old tomb. Aside from a few bruises, I’m perfectly okay.”

“Oh, right,” Isla said. “About the Tomb of the Creator. I would absolutely love some information about that. Particularly where it is, what to expect and how many people know about it. I’m going to have to deal with that once we’re done here.”

“Oh, right,” Joan said sheepishly. “Well, it all started when I heard Qakog talking about this map he’d bought…”