Chapter 168: 168

The two of them were so close that their breath could touch each other.

Astelle felt her ears turn red. Facing Kaizen’s dazzling appearance and seemingly formidable body, she felt shy. It was because of last night’s memories.

Kaizen grabbed Astelle’s hands carefully without saying a word. Her hands, as pale as white snow, were cold.

He frowned anxiously.

“I should have asked them to bring more firewood. You are cold.”

“It’s not a big deal.”

Astelle smiled at his excessive concern.

“I guess I need to light a fire, though. Theor will definitely come back drenched in snow.”

Theor went out to play in the back of the mansion with the marquis.

The front yard is fine because the soldiers have cleared the snow, but the backyard must be covered in snow.

“The marquis must be suffering.”

Kaizen smiled apologetically, probably thinking the same thing as her.

For a moment, the two looked at each other and only exchanged smiles.

After a moment of silence, Kaizen lightly placed his lips on the back of Astelle’s hand.

His dry lips touched the back of her cold hand.

“Do you regret what happened last night?”

The words that left his mouth contained a slight tremor as if they would fade away at any moment.

It was a voice that contained the anxiety and fear that Kaizen was feeling.

He’s still worried about what happened last night.

Astelle smiled softly and wrapped her arms around him.

As she was embraced by his broad shoulders, a familiar scent and warmth enveloped her.

Her feelings for Kaizen are still mixed with many complex emotions. But now, all those emotions have gradually become one within the big frame of affection.

“I don’t regret it at all.” Astelle gave her most candid answer, pressing her face against his hard chest.

In the end, it was her answer.

For whatever reason, Astelle herself has no regrets about loving Kaizen.

Hearing her words, Kaizen hugged her even tighter.

“I love you, Astelle.” A warm breath touched the nape of her cold neck.

Astelle closed her eyes as she heard his voice.

After a while, Kaizen lifted the tip of Astelle’s chin with one hand.

A pink blush bloomed on her pale skin.

Her light green eyes, like the buds of spring, were looking at him with sincere affection.

Kaizen carefully kissed her red lips.

It was a short, light kiss, and sweet as candy.

 

* * *

 

A small sled shot down a flat, snow-covered field.

The sled sliding on the snow suddenly tripped and lost its balance, flipping over halfway down the hill.

Theor fell from the sled and rolled around.

“Theor!”

The Marquis was startled and ran over.

A small head popped out of the snowball.

“Grandpa, I’m fine!”

Theor was smiling brightly even with his head covered in snow.

Fortunately, he was thickly dressed and didn’t seem to be hurt at all.

He sat up calmly and shook the snow off his head with his gloved hands.

“Oh my……. You have to be careful.”

The Marquis shook his head and raised Theor to his feet. Then he brushed the snow off his thick clothes.

“Shall we go back to the mansion?”

I don’t think he’s hurt, but his clothes are covered in quite a bit of snow.

The marquis tried to persuade him to return to the mansion and change his clothes, but Theor begged him not to.

“I want to play a little more. Grandpa, play with me a little longer.”

“Your mother will be waiting for you.”

“Mom will be fine because she is with dad.”

Theor struggled to pull the sled.

“Mom and Dad are getting along well now.”

“Is that so?”

The Marquis glanced toward the mansion, pulling Theor’s sled instead of him.

Even in the fall, Astelle and the emperor were quite close than before. At that time, they looked like a couple who had just started dating and had their eyes on each other.

The Marquis who met the two of them again after a month or two realized that they now had the comfortable and natural atmosphere of a real couple.

Astelle also seemed more comfortable and happier than he remembered. Astelle’s eyes looking at Kaizen showed genuine affection.

“Do you still like His Majesty?”

The Marquis asked quietly, and Theor nodded without a moment’s thought.

“I like both mom and dad.”

The Marquis smiled and stroked Theor’s head.

After rolling around in the snow a few more times and his clothes covered in snow, the Marquis brought Theor back to the mansion.

The maids bathed Theor in warm water and changed his clothes.

The Marquis also returned to his bedroom and changed his snow-covered clothes.

He was about to go out again in his new clothes, but Astelle came into his room with an apologetic face.

“Sorry, Grandpa. You had a hard time because of Theor.”

Astelle was sitting with her grandfather after ordering the maid to serve hot tea.

“No worries. It was nice to spend time together after a long time.”

In front of others, her grandfather spoke honorably to her, but he still spoke casually when the two of them were alone.

Astelle was feeling happy right now. When the two of them were together like this, she felt like a granddaughter instead of an empress.

The marquis looked out the window and said, “Theor will be waiting for you.”

Astelle smiled. “Don’t worry about Theor. His Majesty is taking him outside now.”

Kaizen said he would take Theor out in the afternoon because the marquis seemed to be suffering too much.

Since the two of them said they were going to see the ice pond, it seemed that they would be back around dinner time.

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“I have a warm tea ready.”

Astelle poured tea into a teacup brought by the maid.

A white teacup was filled with warm herbal tea with a unique scent.

The marquis, who tasted the tea, said admiringly, “It smells really good. I’ve never tried tea like this before.”

“It’s Gretel’s new tea. I brought it to give to you.”

She brought it here on purpose because Gretel has developed a new herbal tea that is good for health.

When Gretel was mentioned, the topic of the plantation was brought up as well.

The two exchanged various topics about the capital city.

When the teacup was half empty, Astelle asked his grandfather.

“Well, Grandpa.”

“Hm?”

“Maybe my mother…….”

Would it be better not to ask?

Even so, Astelle wanted to know the truth.

“Did she have any children before she gave birth to Fritz?”

The marquis opened his eyes wide.

“Where did you hear that?”

“I happened to see my mother’s diary the other day.”

“Did she write something like that in her diary?”

“It was not explicitly written.”

“Hmm.”

The marquis lowered his gaze for a moment and let out a heavy sigh.

“She got pregnant right after she got married, but unfortunately, she miscarried within the month.”

Astelle tried hard not to show her shock.

Even though it was an answer she had already expected, it was still a shock when she confirmed it herself.

“I didn’t tell anyone because it wasn’t a good thing. As you know, in the past, such things were seen as the wife’s responsibility.”

“I see.”

Astelle could clearly understand why her mother married her father. It was to protect the child in her belly.

‘So my mother married my father while pregnant.’

If she was found to be pregnant, not only the child but also Count Ecklen wouldn’t have been safe.

It is not a crime to give birth to an illegitimate child.

However, when something like this happens to a young lady from a prestigious family, the father, mother, child, and even the family become the targets of criticism and ridicule.

Even the marquis, Astelle’s grandfather, would not forgive Count Ecklen.

‘So my mother had no choice but to get married as soon as possible and pretend it was her husband’s child.’

It’s immoral, but my mother would have had no choice.

That must be why my mom was relieved that my father has the same eye color, as written in her diary.

Because she would have made that child the duke’s child from the beginning.

‘But she had a miscarriage.’

And shortly afterward Count Ecklen was acquitted of false accusations and returned to the capital.

My mother, who married my father to protect her child, ended up losing both her child and her beloved lover.

I feel sorry for that. My mother and I had similarities: risked her own life to protect her child.

But sadly, my mother’s efforts failed.

‘Should I tell Count Ecklen?’

The thought crossed her mind for a moment, but Astelle brushed it off immediately.

It’s something she, a third party, doesn’t need to get involved in.

Count Ecklen seemed completely oblivious to her mother’s circumstances.

‘There must be a reason why my mother didn’t tell him.’

Finding out the truth will only make him sad and blame himself.

She probably didn’t want to hurt him by telling him.

Astelle decided to feign ignorance. She doesn’t need to tell him what even her mother didn’t tell him.

“It’s in the past, there’s nothing I can do about it. Did you see her diary at the duke’s mansion?” The Marquis clicked his tongue as if he was sorry and asked again. 

Since Fritz became a duke, he seemed to think that she had been there and found it.

“Yes, I wanted to ask you because I was curious.”

Likewise, she doesn’t think it’s necessary to tell her grandfather about this.

Also, my mother didn’t tell my grandfather because she didn’t want to hurt him.

I think it would be better to respect my mother’s wishes.

Astelle turned, looking out of the window.

“Theor really likes it here.”

“Theor liked this place from the start.”

“Will you return to the capital after winter?”

“Yeah, I promised to go back, so I have to go.”

Yes, he said he would stay here in the winter to manage the estate and head to the capital in the spring.

The marquis put the teacup down and looked at Astelle.

“Are you living like a real couple now?” he asked carefully.

Astelle who was drinking tea almost dropped her teacup in embarrassment.

“Why are you asking that?”

The marquis saw Astelle flustered and clicked his tongue.

“I have eyes too.”

Astelle smiled embarrassingly and put down the teacup.

“I’ve prepared another room for no reason.”

“Don’t make fun of me.”

The marquis slowly shook his head and then turned to Astelle again.

Then he asked with a slightly worried look. “Are you really happy?”

I think I’ve been asked a similar question before.

A lot of things have happened in the past 16 years, but at this moment, I was happy enough to forget all of them.

This time she was able to answer with real confidence.

“Yes, I am happy.”

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