Chapter 25: 25

As soon as the owner saw me, he frowned and came out, holding a broom upside down.

“Get out of here, you worm!”

Whoops! 

“Aghh!”

I was beaten in the back without mercy.

It wasn’t that strong, but the bruises that were already there made me scream.

Like a colt on fire, I left the place in haste. Then I ran into a dark alley and curled up like a ball.

After calming down my startled heart, I regretted leaving without saying a word.

‘I have money.’ 

I pulled out five or six coins from my pocket. Even though I earned and spent every day, sometimes I also had money.

Before the sun went down and my father disappeared, today was definitely a lucky day.

The snow-white whipped cream cake never left my mind.

I fumbled through the coins and went back to the window.

Even if it’s unfair, I’m going to take one bite. 

But that promise soon faded. I see now that there was a liquor store across the street from the cake shop.

I remembered my father. 

The wind made it impossible to do this or that, and I just wandered around.

‘If I bring him a good drink, won’t he hit me today?’

Once again, the dream landscape was turned upside down. I was running again this time. 

Just before the curfew, I narrowly returned to the ant cave.

I couldn’t even imagine I could buy a high-end drink with the money I had.

I still couldn’t find my father, but the bottle in my arms relieved my anxiety.

‘If I have this, won’t he come back?’

At least he won’t leave forever like my mother.

At the the time when I smiled softly. 

Someone grabbed my nape in an instant.

“What kind of drink does that bastard carry with her?”

A large man lifted me up like a puppy.

I was terrified. 

The man in front of me was the adopted son of a famous gang boss. He giggled and said.

“Leave it. It’s like, my father’s favorite drink.”

I wanted to say ‘You mean the guy who killed your real father?’ but I put up with it.

It’s a common thing gangs do to slaughter the buds of revenge. Taking and raising the baby of the one they killed with their own hands.

Ironically, most of the children raised by their father’s enemies become loyal dogs like the man in front of me.

Because they think of their stepfathers as a lifesaver who could have killed them but didn’t.

Only then can they rationalize their lives.

A dog that had never been breastfed cannot bite the person who raised it.

“Look at this? She’s completely frozen.”

When I was frozen, the man easily took the drink.

As I was begging for it back, I saw a familiar face in the distance.

I called him with a bright expression.

“Dad!”

But my father staggered, looking elsewhere, as if he had not heard my voice.

I didn’t know where he was, but he looked like he had been drinking again.

“Daddy, Daddy!”

When I shouted until my throat was about to burst, my father finally turned to me.

A deep sense of relief came over me.

“Here, here! I…!”

The moment I was about to say my real name, not ‘fire ant’, that I am here.

My father quickly turned his head. It was obvious that he was ignoring me. 

When questioned later, I remember him making excuses by saying, ‘How could I win against such a big guy?’

Coward.

The bully who stole my drink from me tried to snuggle me away.

At first, I was dazed and surrendered to him. But soon, my stomach boiled inside. At that time, I didn’t even know what it was like to have tears in my eyes.

Now that I think about it, it was a shame.

I bit the bully’s arm as if in anger. The bitter taste of blood lingered in my mouth.

I got out of his arms and ran away quickly.

He chased after me, and when the street opened up, he threw all kinds of swear words.

The moment I thought I had run away, he suddenly whistled and laughed meanly.

Then some wild dogs heard the noise and followed me.

I still couldn’t forget the tip of their tongues that glowed red in the sparse light.

I ran all day, but at that moment, I ran like crazy.

If I hadn’t reached the end of the ant cave, my heart might have burst out.

A dead-end road blocked me. It was the place where Klaus stoned me. 

I looked up over the ant cave. People’s houses shone overhead. Twinkling like a star. Dazzling. 

Is it time for the family to sit down and have dinner? …Does it really exist? Such a world.

A world where we can sit around, share a meal, ask each other how we feel, where we are not afraid of each other, and where we are not abandoned.

Not in a story, not in a fantasy, but in reality? Will it be there?

“Me too…”

I looked up to the light with so much pain in my throat that I stepped into the inner wall of the pit.

If Klaus saw me, he would be overturned because it was too funny. 

Still, I couldn’t stop.

“Me too… Please raise me.”

I tried hard to climb, but I couldn’t climb more than a few steps and slipped.

Like a bug sucked into an ant cave. Climbed again, slipped, went up again and I fell on my butt, and my whole body hurt. 

Still, I got back on my feet.

“I want it too.”

I grabbed the corner stone with my trembling hands. The wounds on my hands and feet that had just closed were opened again.

“If I work hard, can I have it?”

Where my father recognizes my heart, my mom returns, and we eat dinner together. Clothes that were buttoned up by my mom and dad. A comfortable house. A house which I’m not afraid of getting hurt at any moment. Me too…

Thud!

I went up quite high and then fell again.

A gentle breeze blew through the dirt. My footprints on the wall disappeared so easily.

The wind, the earth, the whole world seemed to say this.

‘You can’t belong there.’

“…No.”

I barely caught my thin breath.

I grabbed the necklace my mother had left me and repeated it to myself.

“I can have it.”

If I keep living, I’ll be able to get my hands on it. It’s okay even if it’s just before I run out of breath, just for a moment, someday, someday…

But I already knew. 

Even if I cry alone in the dark, no one will come to me, no one will call my real name.

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***

A sad cry was heard.

It was somehow familiar, but where did I hear it?

“Uhuk- uhuk!”

When I opened my eyes, I was still in the dark.

I swung my arms around and swept the floor.

I wonder if something was caught in my numb hand! There was a loud cracking sound.

Faint moonlight leaked from the side where the sound was heard.

I crawled like a worm towards the light.

Every time I moved my body, my bones ached, but I didn’t stop. I wanted to live, I wanted to have the bright lights I saw in the ant cave that day. I knew it was an unreasonable hope, but still…

“Uhuk! Uhuk!”

I managed to get out of the hole in the glass wall.

I lay flat on my back. 

The skylight was high. Beyond the transparent ceiling, a group of stars filled the view.

A curved glass roof made by joining steel frames. This was Michael’s greenhouse.

I lay on my side and coughed violently.

An unbearable earthenware came up.

“Haaaa!”

I put my hands on the ground and threw up. 

Not the usual vomit, but a lumpy black evil spirit.

When I saw it dripping, I was so surprised that I was about to faint again.

“Uh?”

What is this? That’s weird. It’s neither blood nor gastric juice. Somehow I’ve seen…

“Uhuk! Bleerrghh!”

I didn’t even have time to think about what was coming out of my mouth.

Whatever it was, I vomited. 

Strangely, whenever the bitter pain came up, the contents of <No Dreams or Hopes> flooded into my head.

It was like hitting my forehead against a desk.

「The god of mankind, Ram, is a human being. Zaccadios, the beast god, is a beast, and Flora, the plant god, is a spirit…」

“Bleerrghh, haaa, haaa, haaaa…”

As soon as I felt my stomach was empty, the pain slowly subsided.

I leaned my back against the square flowerpot and stared blankly at what I spit out.

I was sure I’d seen something similar somewhere.

‘That’s it.’

The moment Alan slaughtered the black monsters when I came to the Duke’s Castle.

Things that bounced around my feet.

‘…A slice… of an evil spirit.’

Suddenly, a strange noise came from the side.

I looked down involuntarily and froze.

‘My hand…’

My hands were weird. Big, black, dry hands.

At first glance, it was by no means that of a normal person.

The other side was clear, but only the left hand had turned into a sharp scissor.

Pedro was also partly animalized, but it was different.

These were not the paws of any beast.

Even after washing my eyes, this was the hand of an evil spirit.

‘Dream?’

I never understood this situation. As I looked around the dream landscape, my image was reflected on the broken glass wall.

There was a blackout on the inside of the private room, so it was quite clear.

I crawled on my knees and approached the glass wall.

The moment I looked into the wall like a mirror, the bright moonlight illuminated my face.

“Haaa.”

I breathed out unconsciously.

My left eye was black. No, to be more precise, the whites were darkened and it turned into a reverse eye.

On the black background, the emerald-colored eyes gleamed coldly.

“Wha, what is this?” 

I said it casually, and I covered my mouth in amazement.

Now that I think about it, didn’t he say I was going to be an idiot? But I was fine.

As if I had vomited out all the poison with the pieces of the evil spirit…

Slowly, the darkened left eye gradually faded.

Eventually, my left hand also shortened to its original length, and smooth skin appeared.

It was like white flesh sprouting from a black bone.

I returned to my original body as if nothing had happened.

I stood still for a while, then tried to put together the clues that were scattered like a puzzle.

‘Three gods made us.’

The bad-tempered gods created creatures that resemble themselves to distinguish the best.

‘Human. Beast. Spirit.’

So, where did the evil spirit come from? What is an evil spirit?

‘What…’

I clenched my fists as I pondered the stories of the gods several times.

‘What am I?’

***

Early in the morning, Michael returned to the greenhouse and, as usual, carefully watered the poisonous plants that he had grown with great care.

Somehow, the water flowed out of the soil today.

Is it already time to repot? 

It’d take some time, so let’s deal with the important things first and come back.

With that thought in mind, Michael headed to the poison room.

It was dawn, but the annex was still dark because the room was surrounded by blackout curtains.

As he lifted a piece of blackout, bright sunlight quickly illuminated the surroundings.

Everything was the same as last night.

A crumpled tablecloth, a broken teacup, and even the fake sister who collapsed in pajamas.

The red hair scattered on the floor looked like a puddle of blood.

Michael put a finger on the girl’s thin neck.

The beat was a little irregular, but within the normal range.

“I guess it’s just like the right amount.” 

The mission was successful.

When he realized that fact, he was happy inside. 

Michael gently wiped the fake princess’ cheek and then removed the blackout.

“Sleep a little longer. You should be found in the garden, not here.”

Everything was going smoothly. 

It would have been a little more smooth if it hadn’t been for a little hand pulling on his pants just before walking through the final blackout.

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