Chapter 72: 72

“I was wondering where you went because you weren’t in your room… so here you are.”

Alan hugged me tightly. His arms were still warm.

I wiped the sweat that was pouring down like a shower and asked a little.

“…Were you looking for me?” 

“Yes.” 

Alan answered briefly and patted my sweaty back.

“I will always find where you are. Because you are my daughter.” 

Alan didn’t even ask me why I was here. He just carefully looked at my palms.

“You hurt your hand. I need to apply some medicine.”

He pulled out a small key from his pocket. 

As soon as the lock was unfastened, a long chain slipped off the handle with a clicking sound.

The old door opened and a bleak bedroom appeared at a glance.

The furniture that adorned it was an old bed, a cabinet, a chair by the window, and a cloth that covered one wall.

“I’m sorry I don’t know how to use healing magic.”

Alan took a small container of ointment from the cabinet and sat down on the chair by the window. 

As he sat me down on his lap, the wine-colored sunset filled my eyes.

“……”

Alan unwrapped the cloth that covered my palms and raised his eyebrows slightly.

I didn’t realize it until now, but the cloth was already soaked in red blood.

He put ointment on my wounds. A stinging pain awakened the sensations that had been paralyzed by anxiety and agitation.

I bit my lip and endured the stabbing pain.

Then Alan lowered his eyebrows as if worried.

“Does it hurt a lot?”

“…I’m okay.” 

“Lily.” 

Alan put a new bandage around my hands and whispered softly.

“If it hurts, you can honestly say that it hurts. I am your Dad.”

As I wiped the moisture around my eyes, I let out a dejected smile.

Everything was rather funny when the worries grew beyond my control.

‘How did I end up like this?’ 

I deceived a man who truly loves his daughter, and my life would get shorter just because a boy left me.

Would it have been better to die at the hands of Alan the day I was kidnapped? 

In the first place, wouldn’t it have been better to starve to death in the ant cave instead of following Thomas?

What the hell would have been the best choice? 

‘The more I struggle to live, the more things get twisted.’

I never thought surviving would be easy, but I never expected it to be this difficult. 

My hands were infinitely small compared to Alan’s.

I clenched my fists and lowered my head.

No matter how much I looked out the window, Benny was nowhere to be seen.

It seemed the time had come to give up on everything. 

At that moment, Alan’s words entered my mind like lightning.

“Looks like you’re searching for Benimus… that child is safe.”

I raised my head blankly. 

Alan’s words slowly drifted into my ears, one beat late.

‘Ah.’

The situation was later understood. 

Come to think of it, the guard who stood at the entrance of the tower disappeared without a trace.

In this case, there were two possible cases. 

The fleeing Benny hid the bodies of the guards, or…

“Right now, he’s training in a simple gymnasium. During that time, the guards were ordered to rest.”

…Or that Benny didn’t escape from the Duke’s Castle in the first place.

My tense body loosened. 

When I slumped and my head tilted to the side, Alan supported my upper body and tucked away my tangled hair.

As he watched the setting sun go even further, he muttered to himself.

“Can Daddy tell you a secret, Lily?”

Alan’s eyes somehow seemed to trace the memory of the past rather than the scenery before him. 

Patting the back of my bandaged hands, he said,

“This is my room.” 

I couldn’t understand his words.

‘He must be kidding that this shabby bedroom is a duke’s room, right?’

“After you disappeared, I moved my room to this place. The entrance of the castle is best seen from this tower.”

I followed his gaze and turned my head towards the window.

Indeed, the entrance to the castle was clearly visible. 

The elongated sticks rising from the drawbridge were probably the spears that were used to hang the heads of the princess’ kidnappers.

“…If I live here, I thought I would be the first to notice when you come back.”

It was Alan’s choice. He really was such a person.

He was cruel to others, but his longing for his daughter was as deep as the sea.

Rather, if he had been bad to his family, it could have relieved my guilt for deceiving him.

“It’s a fact that only Pedro and Nike know, so please don’t tell anyone yet. I was going to move to another room when you returned… but it’s been delayed a little bit because we’ve been monitoring Benimus.”

That was the reason Benny was locked up in the magic tower.

This tower was the most secure prison in the Duke’s Castle.

“Would you like to look around the room while you’re here?” 

Alan dropped me off his lap. Having no strength to walk properly, I had no choice but to stand still.

There was nothing to see in Alan’s room anyway.

If I had to pick just one thing that aroused my curiosity, it would be the wall that was covered with a wide cloth?

Alan walked over to it as if he knew what I was thinking. 

“I thought I’d show you this one day, Lily.” 

Alan rolled up the curtain-like fabric.

After which, I was blown away by the sight, and I gasped for breath.

‘This is…’ 

A portrait of a woman was hung on the obscured wall. The woman in the picture was very vibrant and beautiful.

But what surprised me was not her beauty.

Bright red hair, emerald eyes. Clear eyes and dark eyebrows.

She looked like a grown-up version of me.

I resembled her. To the extent that it would be strange to say that we didn’t share blood.

“It’s your mother.” 

Alan patted me on the shoulder. It was a gentle touch, but it felt like a large lump of lead was slamming.

“She’s very similar to you. Indeed, she has to be.” 

I could no longer look at the portrait, so I lowered my head.

But Alan’s sweet voice could not be stopped.

“Because you are our daughter.”

***

I ran through the woods mindlessly. 

The untidy northern woods slapped my cheeks and shins.

With the glow of the sunset, the thick branches were dyed red, like a plant that grew on blood.

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Tuk! My foot got stuck in the roots of a tree. 

I couldn’t control my speed and ended up rolling around.

Even after my body stopped, I couldn’t get up. 

I ended up lying on my back, looking at the sky.

It was getting dark. 

Alan told me to come back by dinner…. 

“…Haa.”

What was I thinking while running away, with a flimsy excuse like wanting to go for a walk alone?

I covered my flushed face with both hands. 

Even if I closed my eyes, Alan and the portrait he showed me hovered in front of me.

I mumbled as if brainwashing myself. 

“I am… not the princess.”

I resembled the dead duchess. But,

“I am not Lily.”

Lilietta von Bauner was dead. 

The kidnapper who took the child certainly said so. 

So I couldn’t be Lily.

No matter how many times I thought about it, a useless question arose out of nowhere.

‘Why…’

No. I couldn’t. This kind of thought was dangerous. 

‘Why am I not Lily?’ 

I turned my body to the side and hit myself in the head.

Still, I couldn’t stop thinking.

‘We look so much alike. However…’

My chest tingled. The pain did not go away even after rolling on the floor until I was covered in dirt.

Low desire finally lifted its head.

‘Can’t I be Lily?’ 

I wanted to be Lily. I was envious of this life that Lily should have enjoyed. 

I didn’t yearn for an affluent environment. 

It didn’t matter if the good house and delicious food disappeared right away.

That was not what I wanted… 

‘Alan.’

The man that waited for his beloved daughter to return on top of a splendid tower.

I wanted to have a family like that. 

I wanted Alan’s friendly eyes looking at me to be completely mine. However, 

‘…I can’t be Lily.’ 

I couldn’t take someone else’s life, and pretended to not know.

Because that was something I couldn’t do to everyone.

To the maids, to Lily’s brothers, and… 

‘…To Dad.’

I couldn’t continue to deceive the ‘Mad Duke’ who looked at me affectionately. It was my first time receiving such a gaze.

But it didn’t mean that I could reveal the truth and risk my life for the fraud.

I had always been a coward when it came to life. 

I always wanted to live. So,

“I have to run away.” 

Only then would I be freed from this filthy greed to steal someone else’s life.

“Yes. I have to run away, far away…” 

“Where are you going?” 

I was muttering like a mad woman, but I heard a soft voice above my head.

I lowered the hand that covered my eyes. 

A beautiful boy looked down at me. His purple eyes shone even brighter in the wine-colored sunset.

“…Benny.” 

Instead of reaching his hand out, Benny knelt next to me and sat down.

“Did something sad happen?” 

I couldn’t answer, still rubbing my wet eyes.

“…How did you know I was here?” 

“I heard the Princess’ cry.” 

Benny took a small handkerchief out of his pocket.

A familiar embroidery was placed on the edge of the purple-tinted fabric.

“I heard nothing, only the sound.” 

Benny stood up and wiped my cheek with the handkerchief 

As I blinked at the handkerchief, he nodded as if to reassure me. 

This was the handkerchief I gave him on the day we first met.

“Did you keep carrying this…?” 

“Yes, I lost it once, but I found it again.”

Benny lowered his head slightly as if he was guilty.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t keep it properly. I should have kept it a little cleaner…”

In every word he said, I could feel his sincere consideration for me.

I lay down and tugged his pants.

“Speak informally.”

“…Yes?” 

Benny blinked his eyes as if he didn’t understand what I meant.

I spoke in a gloomy tone.

“I’m not someone you can call ‘princess’.”

“…What do you mean?” 

Benny folded the handkerchief and lowered his head over my face.

Shwooosh, the late evening wind messed up his silver hair.

I hesitated, then slowly opened my mouth. 

“…Will you keep it a secret?”

“Yes.”

Without knowing what the secret was, Benny firmly promised me.

I raised my upper body halfway and said it.

“I am a fake.”

Benny was neither surprised about my confession, nor did he joke about it.

He just listened with serious eyes that were unlike a child’s.

Encouraged by his attitude, I continued to speak slowly but steadily.

“I’m… not Lilietta von Bauner…”

When I first spit out this sad truth, I felt relieved.

But this time, as soon as I finished speaking, my chest hurt as if I had been stabbed with an awl. 

I chuckled and pulled Benny’s shirt.

“So you can speak to me more comfortably. Do it when it’s just the two of us.”

“No.”

Benny’s answer was firm. 

I was a little surprised and raised my head, and he added calmly.

“Whoever the Princess is, to me, you are the most precious person in the world.”

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