Chapter 108: It’s Impossible For Him To Be Softhearted

Xiao YuAn quickly stuffed a little red fruit into his mouth, waited a few seconds for his voice to change and then asked: “Yan-gongzi, you’re spitting blood! Where are you feeling pain?!”

Yan HeQing lowered his eyes, inhaled slowly, and wiped the corners of his mouth with his sleeve. His face was expressionless: “It’s—nothing.”

‘There’s nothing wrong in acting weak alright?!!! Where does it hurt? Why don’t you tell me?!!’

Xiao YuAn asked a few more questions, but Yan HeQing acted as if he didn’t care about his own health. Xiao YuAn was so angry at this, that he even laughed bitterly out loud. Since Yan HeQing’s attitude was making him lose his temper, Xiao YuAn didn’t bother to ask any more questions.

The days at the cabin were a bit of a blast, and Xiao YuAn couldn’t live in peace. Ever since he saw Yan HeQing spitting blood, Xiao YuAn would go outside every day to look for medicinal herbs in the surrounding area. With that, he would prepare a warm and nontoxic decoction for Yan HeQing to cure his internal injuries.

One day, when Xiao YuAn went up to the mountain, he saw cassia seeds¹, which can cure eye diseases. He vaguely remembered that, in the original book, Lin Shengling took a medicinal herb for Yan HeQing to cure his eyes, but he couldn’t remember which medicinal herb Lin Shenling had collected.

Xiao YuAn struggled for a while, but in the end, he still put the cassia seeds into the medicine basket; bringing it back to the wooden cabin where he will boil the medicinal herbs he usually used to treat Yan HeQing’s injuries.

Since Yan HeQing rarely took the initiative to speak at all, and it was hard for him to be open, he didn’t ask ‘when will my injuries heal?’ or ‘when can I walk around?’ to Xiao YuAn.

Every now and then, Xiao YuAn couldn’t help but want to yell at him: ‘Ge! If you want a fast recovery, then don’t be so stubborn when applying medicine!’

Meanwhile, Yan HeQing was often in a daze, not even knowing what he was thinking about. His eyes and mind seemed to be filled with thousands of worries and resentments. It was impossible to see in him the Male Lead from the original book, who desperately indulges himself in order to hide his true feelings.

Xiao YuAn, who didn’t dare to ask him anything for fear of revealing himself, spent a few days together with Yan HeQing in complete silence.

After the wounds stopped bleeding, Yan HeQing began to try to get up and walk; even though he was staggering, he was still able to walk a little. Xiao YuAn couldn’t stop him even if he wanted to, so in the end, he didn’t try to stop him at all. At that moment, he happened to remember that there was some rice and salt in the cabin. When he turned over to look for them, he really found them.

These past few days, they have been filling their stomachs with wild fruits and vegetables; the taste was always plain and astringent. Xiao YuAn felt that if he continued to eat like this, he would become an immortal with unlimited powers.

Xiao YuAn, who found out the rice and salt, was very excited to cook some porridge, so he set up a small pot and waited for a long time. After a while, he didn’t realize that the rice had already been cooked, so when he saw the glutinous white grains and the characteristic smell of rice, Xiao YuAn filled a bowl for Yan HeQing and another one for himself. He stirred the wooden spoon twice and then scooped it into his mouth, instantly revealing a shocking and unbelievable expression.

Fuck, the texture and the taste of this porridge that cooked by itself was really…..

‘It tasted way too fucking bad!!!’

‘Wasn’t this kind of porridge made by just pouring some water and rice?’

‘Could it be because he put salt in it? And some wild vegetables? Or was it the green onions? Huh? Was it because he added some ginger?’

‘Sheesh, which ones are you not allowed to add in the porridge? Or which ones don’t taste good if put together?’

Xiao YuAn stroked his chin and struggled to find the proper answers to his own questions after pondering for a while. When he turned around to see Yan HeQing, he saw him struggling to swallow his first mouthful of porridge, and with great difficulty, Yan HeQing pressed his chest; feeling like that mouthful of porridge could actually kill him.

In order to save his life, Yan HeQing silently put the bowl of porridge aside, indicating that he wasn’t hungry.

Xiao YuAn, who was unconvinced, took another bite and his wronged soul² almost returned to his hometown, taking a crane to the West³.

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President Xiao, who knows that his own life value⁴ has nothing to do with cooking, quietly emptied all of the remaining porridge. He then went to pick some wild fruits, washed them, and took them into the cabin, handing some of them to Yan HeQing.

Yan HeQing received the wild fruits with a thanks, resting his eyes on the wild fruit in his hands; and since his eyes were half-blind, he wasn’t able to see anything clearly. Yan HeQing felt like he was going to lose his mind, after all, he could only see a blurred grey mist, as if the spring ceased to exist and the autumn harvest wasn’t prosperous.

Xiao YuAn stood aside and took a bite of a wild fruit. Since Yan HeQing couldn’t see him, Xiao YuAn indulged himself by staring at him.

Xiao YuAn felt that he couldn’t understand Yan HeQing: ‘Why did he let me go without hesitation, after giving the order of castrating me in the first place? What did he mean by returning the hairpin to me and then throwing it to the ground when we parted ways?’

‘Surely it can’t be that he suddenly became softhearted?’

‘The Yan HeQing from the original book doesn’t even know how to spell the word “softhearted”.’

Xiao YuAn felt that he couldn’t understand himself either: ‘Why did I save Yan HeQing once again?’

Xiao YuAn isn’t a person who will seek revenge for the smallest grievance. But he’s also, by no means, someone with a soft nature that lets people bully him around. When he took revenge on his father in the name of his mother and brother, he wasn’t softhearted.

‘Could it be!!!’

‘That what I feel!!’

‘For Yan HeQing!!!’

‘Is actually a fatherly love?!!!’

After all, in the original book, Yan HeQing had climbed to the Heavens one step at a time. The bitterness, joy and sorrow of wielding a sword and pointing it directly at the world were seen by Xiao YuAn’s eyes, and they were buried deep inside his heart. If someone told Xiao YuAn that the one who will rule over the Four Kingdoms in the future isn’t Yan HeQing, Xiao YuAn felt like that he couldn’t accept it.

Although it was tangled, it was a good thing that Xiao YuAn is easy-going, and likes to go with the flow. To put it bluntly, he did what he wanted to do, not bothering to think about it that much, even if that makes him look heartless.

Xiao YuAn took the last bite of the wild fruit, leaving only the pit behind to play with. Suddenly, he heard Yan HeQing speak: “Guniang⁵.”

Xiao YuAn’s hand shook, and the pit fell to the ground, rolling to one side. Xiao YuAn didn’t have the time to pick it up, since he was too busy looking for a small red fruit and putting it on his mouth. After testing for a bit, waiting for his voice to change, he said: “What’s the matter, Gongzi?”

Even though Xiao YuAn was slow to reply, Yan HeQing didn’t seem annoyed, instead, he calmly said: “Can I trouble Guniang to send me down the mountain tomorrow? Guniang is free to ask for whatever you want as a reward.”

XYA misinterpreting his own feelings part 100 ????

Poor YHQ, having to eat poison in the form of food lmao but I guess that if he knew it was his crush the one cooking for him, he would’ve eat it whole even if that meant death hahaha

Ah~ but since XYA is good at learning (hence he knowing medicine rn) if he got himself onto actually learning, he wouldn’t be so bad hahahaha, c’mon xya you can do it ????

Footnotes

1. 决明子 jué míng zǐ; Used in traditional Chinese medicine. It’s famous for its ability to improve eyesight. But can also be used as a laxative; it lowers fat, treats constipation, high blood lipids, and hypertension. The cassia seeds can be bitter, sweet and salty.
2. 冤魂 yuān hún; Wronged Souls, commonly known as Fierce Ghosts, usually refers to the soul of a person who died in vain. If a person is misunderstood, wronged and killed or if they commited suicide, they cannot be reincarnated after death, so they will wander in the Underworld or will seek for a kind-hearted person to direct their grievances. The wronged souls can also directly take revenge against the person who killed them. In folk superstition, the power and resentment of a wronged soul is stronger than the ordinary ghosts; therefore, if a person is haunted by a wronged soul, their possibility of dying is rather high.
3. 驾鹤西去 jià hè xī qù; It’s an euphemism for death. In Ancient China, the crane was often used as a symbol of longevity and it was also an auspicious bird that accompanied the gods; that’s why the crane rides to the West, since “going to the West” means entering Heaven. Extended meaning: a taboo term for death, which contains respect and blessing to the dead.
4. 人生价值 rén shēng jià zhí; Life Value refers to the role and meaning of human life, and its practical activities for society and individuals. In a certain sense, the value of life is the meaning of life. The fundamental measure of life value evaluation is to see whether a person’s life activities conform to the objective laws of social development, and whether they promote historical progress through practice.
5. 姑娘 gū niang; Girl / Young woman / Young lady / Daughter / Paternal aunt.

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