My head still hurt when we were in Lee’s basement again. Elias and Christian were tuning their guitar and bass. Lee was looking over the lyrics looking displeased but she was doing her best. Over the past week or so she’d gotten a bit better but not good enough to compete. Not even on our small local level.
Scarlet as always kept very close to me. She stayed even more quiet than usual. Basically only nodding agreeingly whenever I asked her a question. I found myself frequently giving her some reassuring pets as time went on.
“Alright,” Elias announced finally. “Let’s do a sound check.”
I nodded and went over to stand in the designated soundcheck space, which was pressed against the inside of the garage door as far back as I could go while they gently strummed or played or sang in Lee’s case as Sierra adjusted the output of their (cheap) mics. I gave her indicators of what I heard too much of (Elias) and what I didn’t hear enough of.
And then they started their warmups. It was a bit incredible to me how much they came to value those. I remembered the first time we came together they just jumped right into it. But now there was a dedicated focus as each one of them listened to each other, critiqued each other in a respectful way and adjusted to each other. Even though I was on the outside taking pictures, I still felt like I was part of a tribe.
But then again, Lee had to learn to sing. And she struggled. She even attempted to play violin while doing it claiming that maybe having an in-tune sound right next to her might help her but so far it hadn’t. She was frustrated and finally she called everybody off in the middle of a pretty good run.
There was the glassy look of holding-back-tears to her eyes. “I can’t do this,” she said.
We all felt bad for her. “It’s okay,” Elias told her. “It’s okay if we’re not perfect.”
“It’s not not-perfect, it’s atrocious.” Lee covered her face for a long moment.
“What else can we do?” I asked. “We already input our songs so we can’t exactly back out of them now.”
“Can anybody else sing?” Christian asked.
They looked between each other and then Sierra found some vocal exercises on line.
She played them, and tried to match the pitch and rhythm. She couldn’t.
They went around their circle, each trying but in the end Lee was still the best we had, even if she wasn’t good.
The group went silent. A faint buzz was the only sound.
Someone hummed.
Do re mi fa so la ti do.
I blinked. It was almost perfect. “Who?” I started to ask and then realized they were all staring at me.
Scarlet hummed again. Do re mi fa so la ti do ti la so fa mi re do.
I turned to her. “You can sing?” I asked.
She shrugged and tried to hide behind me.
I turned, feeling her shuffle to stay out of my sight.
“I’m not mad,” I said. “But that’s crazy you haven’t even warmed up yet.”
I stopped and her hands fisted in the back of my shirt.
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“Listen,” Lee said. “If you’re not comfortable performing on stage we won’t make you but… that is pretty amazing.”
Scarlet didn’t say anything.
Lee looked at her violin, leaned against one of the far walls. I knew she really wanted to play it instead of singing.
I was gentle as I turned and looked Scarlet in the eyes this time.
“It’s okay,” I told her. “You don’t have to, but it would mean a lot to us if you sang,” I explained.
She stared at me. Her eyes showed all the fear I felt standing up in front of large crowds.
“I used to want to be a singer,” she admitted. “A long time ago. I got pretty good at it…”
“Do you want to try it out here?” I asked. “The crowd won’t be very big. At most we’ll be lucky to gain two or three fans from it, if we get any.”
“Are you sure?” she asked.
“I’m positive,” I told her. I gave her another pet on her head. “And if you ever feel overwhelmed you can walk away. Lee can take over again if needed.”
Lee looked a little annoyed, but I knew she agreed.
“Do you think you can do it?” I asked.
I could feel the anticipation from the others.
She nodded quietly.
I gently detached myself from her and led her to Lee’s microphone. Lee hurried and grabbed her violin, “I’ll walk you through the notes,” she explained in a rush.
The energy changed rapidly. Lee played that violin with a passion. And Scarlet quickly picked up the notes, even if she struggled with the words sometimes.
Her voice was hauntingly beautiful. I was desperate to hear more of it, preferably through some better quality microphones and speakers. It was almost hypnotizing, like a lullaby even if the words were sad and rough.
When they finished they were breathless. For the first time, I saw real hope on their faces.
I snapped a few photos, much to Lee’s annoyance as she said ‘my makeup isn’t good enough for that.’ And covered her face.
Scarlet similarly bounded out of frame once she realized what was happening.
I gave her a tight hug. I didn’t want to let go.
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