How to write dumb boys, a struggle

Chapter 12: December 18, Friday– Was Shum Deil goading him? (Chapter .8)


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Exams arrived before the start of winter break. At that time, Sae was still restricted to homestay and recuperation as the two weeks had not yet passed. His arm was healing fine, the stitches also got taken out, and although the doctor warned about the slight possibility of prolonged numbness or trembles, fortunately, Sae did not feel anything of the sort.

After the stitches were out, he got another bracer to wear for four to five weeks. Following that, when the arm no longer required bracing, he could go to more excessive rehabilitation. One thing that made Sae and his friends deflate though, was the fact that he couldn't play basketball at the school’s spring tournament.

Since he had not gone to school for a while, Sae got left out of the everyday chaos before the break. But this also meant he had the time to study and revise all the more.

After a bit of logistics, Sae’s mother made it possible to give him a lift to and fro from school on the days he had exams. Yes, he was still adamant about attending the exams.

When Sae's head teacher heard about this, he felt like there was still some hope for the kid’s future. "Such pertinence! I really admire students who can aim high even in times of hardship," he gushed to Sae's mother on the phone. The man treated the thing as if fulfilling something Sae was obliged to do in the first place was the same as gracing the school with his presence. For Sae though, sitting at his desk and writing out the answers were like second nature, familiar things at last.


 

In between breaks, Sae chatted with others, trying to assess the damage this gossipy bunch had imposed in the last week.

"Did you report it to the police?" the class president asked him. She was a no-nonsense girl, kind but a bit nosy. "Like, if it was intentional..."

Ah, so this one had not died down yet.

Earlier, after Emi found out about the biker being Shum Deil, Sae caught Teo and the little girl conspiring in hushed tones. Teo never explicitly said anything to him about the topic.
Now sitting next to Sae, the boy cleared his throat and sharpened his ears, watching without disruption.

Sae levelled his gaze at the class president. "There's nothing to report. I wasn't careful enough, slipped, and fell. It was raining and the asphalt was wet."

"I heard the maths teachers claiming otherwise."

"Well," Sae's eyes turned hard, "He's not the one who fell, is he?"

The class president pursed her lips into a thin line. Somehow, it felt like she just got reprimanded. Regardless, she offered her help with anything Sae would need – he only had to ask. The girl waited until he nodded his assent and left.


Teo discussed a new game he wanted to try with Sae – as he put it, by all means, – and what time they could gather at the internet cafe next.

"We're not even done with the exams and you're already talking about when to play," Sae made a show of shaking his head. "Just last month, who was that person nagging me to help him?"

"Either way, we are this close to break time," Teo stuck out his index finger and thumb to measure how close they were. "I'm durable even in the gates of failure. My mother can't hold me down now."

"I can honestly state that your mum is more than capable of holding you down."

"Don't jinx me!" Teo cried, then beckoned him closer. “Listen here, after someone abandoned me... I still strive to prevail.”

Sae wasn’t sure if it was possible but still had to ask, “Did you… study?”

“As if. I ordered exam amulets.” Teo’s eyes sparkled and he spanked the top of his desk. “How about that? Ha! I don’t seem so hopeless now, do I?” He laughed. At times like this… Sae could only watch, speechless, while his soul shivered.

“I have to keep it on me at all times.” Teo grabbed at his clothes like he wanted to show off the magic, but Sae caught his arm. “I don’t need to see it.”

“Sure you don’t want to see it?” His friend moved again but Sae shook his head firmly. “It’s very professional and high quality; sacred and blessed by a master. No way I won’t succeed now!”

Hearing this, and seeing the smug expression on Teo’s face, Sae wasn’t sure whether to laugh or cry. He closed his eyes with a sigh.

"Sae. Sae! Sae..." One of his classmates called out to him several times, before actually saying anything of importance.

Sae stopped chatting with Teo and turned his neck to face the other boy.

"Is it true that you cried all the way to the hospital?"

"Shut up!" Teo retorted, "...even if he did – which is complete bullshit – do you know how much it hurts to break an arm? Do you want me to help you get a first-hand experience?"

The boy’s face turned white. “Sorry,” he apologised and immediately turned back in his seat.

“Dude,” Sae turned to Teo. “You didn’t have to...”

Teo waved his hand. “I’m tired of hearing about it. It’s been the same every day for the past week. Now that you’re here, some of them still have the nerve to ask shit to your face.”

“It’s not like I take any of it personally.”

“Good,” Teo agreed, “Don’t.”


 

Kaikai visited the humanities class – Susu in tow – when they heard Sae finally came to school.

"Wow, cool cast." Kaikai let out a whistle. "Without the glasses and with this patched-up look, you finally seem like something the name you made for yourself would indicate."

Sae chuckled, "What?"

"Figh~ter brai~ni~ac," mouthed Kaikai. "Can you even see me properly?"

Sae threw an eraser at him with precision. "Fuck you, I have contact lenses in."

The boys horsed around as Susu and Minke came over, their arms looped through one another’s. The girls had been chatting all the way until they reached the back row, but when they did, they suddenly went quiet. Susu elbowed Kaikai out of the way.

"Hey!" Kaikai roared but made some space by moving a step back.

"Don't listen to him." Susu said with a smile, "I’m glad that you look good."

Kaikai asked, with an air of being mistreated, “Wasn’t that what I just said?”

The four of them answered at the same time, “No.”

"When will you be back permanently?" the girl asked, not minding Kaikai’s protests at all.

"After the break," answered Sae, and Susu smiled again.

There was still some time before the next exam. Generally, they had three subject examinations per day, with an hour of exams and a ten-minute-break schedule on rotation. One subject required a hundred and twenty minutes and it was divided into chapter tests. They were already done with the reading comprehension of the English exam, so what followed was the listening test. Kaikai and Susu though, had a different allocation as they were in the science class.

"Hey, does anyone know the answer to question nine?" Teo sprang atop the desk to make himself comfortable. He pointed at his open book, whining to the collective amusement of everyone present. "I feel like I'm about to fluke the whole test!"

“Didn’t you order the ultimate weapon to ensure success?” Sae’s mouth took the shape of a slight smirk.

Kaikai’s head whipped up. “What?!”

Sae laughed while saying, “He bought good luck charms to ace the exams.”

The others who just heard about it for the first time, “…..”

Everyone was so bewildered, the figurative tumbleweed could have rolled along the classroom’s floor behind them in the abrupt silence.

After a few minutes of mental reinforcement, Minke asked, “And you think it will help?”

Although Teo was wounded, he didn’t shy back. “Of course it will!” The point was to believe in it.

“Okay,” Minke continued, “Has it helped up until now?”

“...I’m not entirely sure I used it well.”

Kaikai laughed, “You can’t be so dumb. What did you do? Sewn it into your pants?”

This time Teo was the one rendered speechless, “How did you know?”

Following his question – of course, – it became complete mayhem. Even when the subject teacher came in and shooed the outsiders back to their class, this bunch was still heatedly arguing.

Teo went back to his designated seat with a half-broken heart, not sure if he should cut the thing out of his clothes or offer a quiet prayer.


 

One afternoon the next week, Manager Hoh couldn’t take Sae home right away. The restaurant expected a big group for a tea-party kind of gathering and it simply became impossible to get away.

"Mum, it's not a problem," Sae said through the phone, "I'll just take the bus. It's not even that far, I have to walk only a short distance."

"Why don't you ask Emi to go with you?" asked his mum.

"Emi still has classes––"

"Wait a minute," with a hand shielding the bottom of the phone, Manager Hoh approved of the room arrangement pushed under her nose and tried to get away for a few minutes. She walked a bit further into the room and cradled the device with a palm, gently saying, "I feel so bad for letting you down."

"Mum,” Sae stressed, “It's only going home by myself, I've done it a thousand times."

Uneasiness mixed into Manager Hoh's tone, "That's not the same."

"It will be fine," Sae assured her and tried to end the call, "I'll let you get back now. See you at home." His mum wanted to say something else but the door next to her opened and she was dragged away before she could say goodbye.


 

Sae's ankle had healed seven to eight parts but he still limped a little. As he walked back to the bus stop nearest to school, he noticed that it was out of order because of reconstruction work. It was like his mother had a sixth sense to foresee these things.

Never mind, there was nothing to do but trek the way to the next stop on foot. Sae took every other step gingerly, trying not to strain his ankle too much. He had progressed a lot since last week, and at least wasn't hopping and hobbling around anymore. Still, as he walked a bit more than what he’d been used to this past week, a layer of light perspiration gradually broke out on his forehead.

The bus stop was already in line of sight – an elating sign. Fallen leaves gathered at the sides of the sidewalk, their colours fading with time. They crunched under the soles of people passing by. The traffic wasn’t bad and the weather was mild even though the sun hid behind dense clouds.

Sae heard the rhythmical ticking of a bicycle slowing down to travel in step with him. Some time while he was walking, Shum Deil had stopped beside him. The boy used the same bike he did that day, the same bike he had been using since he had started school.

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Sae stopped as well, eyes lingering on the other.

Shum Deil couldn't quite look him in the eyes, and his hands gripped the handlebar mercilessly. "Do you..." he opened his mouth and slowly, almost slower than a snail’s pace, got out, "Need a ride… home." What he said wasn't even an actual question. His voice died down as if it got blown away by the wind. But what wind? The air stagnated like still water.

Sae narrowed his eyes at Shum Deil. Although the other was still quietly looking over his shoulder, rather than looking at his face; he did not squirm under Sae’s scrutiny.

Was Shum Deil goading him?

Sometimes Sae was unable to accurately decipher other people's true intentions. Primary, that was the reason he oftentimes did not give the desired reaction. It all resulted in being perceived as a cold and closed-off person.
But the kid across him actually looked angry rather than gloating. Shum Deil's bangs framed his ironwood eyes, in which a fire blazed urgently.

Sae felt all sorts of things. Wasn't he the one who had the right to be angry? What was Shum Deil angry for? Just what was he angry at? Sae? Why did he even stop then?

He could feel his heartbeat pulsing in his injured arm as a headache sprouted between his eyes.

Why did you send me my phone? Why did you get it fixed? Why the hell did you push me if you can't even talk to me now?

Sae wanted to ask all these questions… But after a minute of silent staring, he walked on without replying. Sae felt two options warring inside of him: he either held himself back or roared and started a fight. One, he really was not in shape for.

And so, he made his way to the bus stop, fuming all the way. Shum Deil did not pass by him again.


 

After exams, Christmas passed rather blandly. Sae’s mother had to work throughout Christmas and even New Year’s since she previously swapped all her day-offs to stay home and take care of Sae as he recuperated. However apologetic and fretful his mum was about the situation, there was nothing to be done. Restaurants were swapped this time of the year.

Sae got better with every passing day, but he still needed to brace his arm, at least, until the second week of January. Their home became quiet, housing only him. Emi spent the break in the city where her mother worked. The little girl messaged Sae on the daily about little trivial things. Their group chat also wreaked havoc, even though it was break time, lively with people updating what they ate and how much they played around.

Sae's father also visited the mainland for the holidays. He planned to take Sae and his ex-wife out to eat, but in the end, only father and son dined out.

Sae's parents divorced when he was five but tried to maintain a civil relationship during the times they saw each other. Luckily, that had been few and far in between. Sae's father, Lang Ede, was an architect. After the divorce, he lived a pretty unrestrained life. First, he travelled all around the place, doing freelance work in whichever city he currently stayed in; then eventually moved abroad, severing most of his homeland relations.
Sae had persuaded his parents to change his surname to his mother's at the age of thirteen. He said he would change it either way once he could legally do so. His father didn’t have anything to say after that.

The first thing Lang Ede said when seeing his son after almost a year was, "Looking cool with that sling, my boy." He heavily patted Sae on the shoulder, then measured how many centimetres taller he still stood over the youth.

Sae truly was clueless as to how to act around his father. Should he declare getting his arm broken as an act one step closer on the way to coolness? Sometimes he wondered how a grown man could have such low levels of EQ.

"You know, I broke my leg once when I went skiing. It was a bother, but I looked so edgy with a full cast." His father made himself at home, leisurely sinking into the sofa. "I hope it's nothing serious though."

Sae felt it was only expected to tell the story of how he had broken his arm. Even though his mother had definitely relayed that already. Father and son finally stood face to face in person, he needed to try a little – this was his father after all. "It was a stupid accident. I fell in the rain outside."

"Mhm, your mother mentioned," Lang Ede said with a frown, "Heard you even got surgery for it." There was some remorse in the man’s voice.

"I would've called you, but was really swamped with work. It's just so hard – establishing a company by myself..."

"It doesn't matter." Sae long learned to lower his standards when it came to this father of his. He was afraid of turning out like the man, so subconsciously acted in ways that vastly differed from what he saw. That wasn't always a good thing, but his fear rendered him too stubborn to give up.

Later, his father started unloading things from the bag at his side. "Gifts and whatnot. I know you can't get all of these imported anyway," he said and piled various items on the low table. Pointing at three brightly coloured boxes, he continued, "I brought back some for your mother as well."

Sae recognised the sign on one of the shopping bags; it was a famous art supplies store. He let his eyes pass over it, and looked away.

"It's a shame we can't eat out together! Initially, I proposed the idea of going to the restaurant your mother works at, but..." The man stopped and scratched his lightly stubbled chin. "You should've seen her face."

"I can imagine," said Sae. That suggestion was an idiotic idea to begin with. "Can we go now?" he asked, ready to get his coat.

His father was a bit surprised. It hadn't been that long since he had arrived, but he still clapped his hands, agreeing, "Sure, let's go. I guess you're really hungry. What do you want to eat?"

The two talked about their dinner prospects on the way to the lift. In the end, they agreed to eat at the hotel his father was staying at. The funny thing was that Sae's father, even though he clearly was his father, never really acted like one. All their interactions, the topics they broached, the manner with which Sae was treated… they all added up to how one would regard their friend. No authoritative father figure, not even the persona of an older male to look up to – Lang Ede never knew these things. It had been this way for a very long time.


At dinner, they chatted about his father’s latest trip to Taiwan, where most of the souvenirs came from. Lang Ede first ordered food he liked, followed by what Sae preferred. The two sides of the table, in absolute opposition to each other, did not match one bit. But at least he paid attention to swapping the plates around so that everything Sae needed was only at an arm's length away.

The hotel wasn't the most luxurious one. It was still fancy with a clean structural design and conventional shapes. With the occasional raw material on display, it blended the traditional and the new pretty aesthetically. Their food was tasty as well; the restaurant area moderately crowded. All in all, the feeling of the place was great.

After the two finished eating, Sae felt entirely stuffed. Sometimes, it was easier to eat than to talk about himself.


Now that they were already at his father's temporary domain, it became convenient how there was no point in personally taking Sae back.

"I'll send you back," his father offered, having paid the bill.

"No need," Sae replied, "You drank alcohol, didn't you?"

His father was adamant about the matter, "A taxi then."

"Dad, you don't need to tire yourself, it's fine. You only arrived today, didn't you?" Sae’s mum had told him that his father’s plane landed at noon, yet his father already wanted to squeeze in a dinner that same day. That meant he would not stay for long. Sae followed with, "You can take it easy. Calling a taxi will suffice."

"Okay," his father agreed. "I'll stop by when your mother's at home next time then."

Sae nodded, and they waited for the taxi to arrive.

Lang Ede wasn't actually a bad guy. Simply, he was not cut to be a father. Or a husband, for that matter. But that wasn't anything outrageously terrible. Some people could adapt to new roles in their lives, and some, could not.


 

Teo and Kaikai turned up at Sae’s door in the middle of the week.

"Yo, let us in, it's fucking cold," Teo said instead of a greeting to which Sae twisted his body to let them inside.

The two boys were ready to game, pumped up to the max, talking about nothing else but heading over to the PC room. Sae stared at them and could not help but laugh. They looked almost mental, like two wild monkeys having been injected with energy drinks.

“Susu and Daniel are already there,” said Kaikai. Rarely enough, he had stayed for the winter break.

Kaikai’s family treated themselves at least twice a year for holidays. When other kids spent their vacation travelling inland, Kaikai spent his time skiing on the other side of the globe. Now, however, his parents said they wanted to ‘support’ his education by not dragging him off to anywhere fancy for once. This way, he could attend extra lessons through the weeks of vacation. After all, they needed to register for high school next semester.

Little did the adults know that studying was the last thing on their son’s mind. Pushing Teo and Sae out of the door, Kaikai said, “Let’s go!”

Once outside, Sae huddled into his winter coat for some warmth. Teo had been right – it really was cold, below -15°C. The boys quickened their steps, their breaths puffing out in dense white clouds even though they barely opened their mouths. Fortunately, the internet cafe they headed to was only a short walk away. It would have been pointless to hail a taxi.

At the PC cafe, Susu waited with Daniel. Susu and her brother were fraternal twins, but she was born eleven minutes earlier. Still, they looked freakishly alike, almost the split image of each other, one male and the other female. They had another brother who was seven, quite shy, and seldom spoke out loud in front of strangers. Today, they left their baby brother at home.

"Go in first," Teo sent Sae to sit down until he bought the tickets from the self-payment machine. Kaikai, Susu, and her brother, Daniel, were already members at this place, in possession of a membership card ready to use whenever. This little group made a team at one of the MOBA games creating all the buzz nowadays.

Sae neared the few available computers closest to Susu, leaving Teo to his own devices.

"Yo," Daniel greeted upon seeing him come closer.

Sae nodded and sat down. Raising his hand, he signalled to Teo for which computer to book. He sat diagonally one desk down to Susu from the back.

“How’s it going?” Kaikai flopped into the ergonomic chair next to the girl. His first move was to steal some cheese potato wedges.

Susu backhandedly struck him; judging from the sound alone, it was a good hit. "Get out!" she fretted, "Why are you sitting here? And why is Sae all over there?" Susu swivelled her chair around.

At this time, Teo rolled up, "Everything's good, Niel?"

"Good. Just look out for my sister." Daniel went to the all-boys middle and high school on the other end of the city, but he had been familiar with all of them.

Glancing at the girl, Teo asked What for? but did not get an answer. He sat down and passed the ticket with the ID and password to Sae. Teo sat on the outskirts of their group, precisely at the end of the line.

Susu turned to Sae, "How's your arm? Can you play like this?"

Hearing her words, all the guys made a fuss.

"Ah, ah? Can he play?" Teo repeated loudly.

Kaikai scoffed. "Don't make me laugh. He can use his hand just fine."

It didn't take five minutes, and their little group had already caused an uproar. Even Daniel had something to say, "You weren't this concerned when I literally fell on my face skating..."

"That was your own fault," Susu combed a strand of her chin-length hair behind her ear. "Who asked you to try and glide down an entire stairway, idiot?"

"It's fine," Sae said indifferently, "If I position my arm and don't need to move, I can use my fingers without a problem."

"He can just prove how well he plays in action," Teo said as he logged in, "How do we stand?"

"Not good."

"Then move your hands, people – not your mouths."

Everyone logged in, wearing their headsets. It had not been that long since the five of them started playing together, but their cooperation got established quite naturally. Soon, the onslaught of keyboards filled the air.


At the internet cafe, besides the brightness coming from the monitor screens, big yellow overhead lamps and blue rope lights ran along most crevices. With an upward glance, it was easy to recognise anyone passing.

An incoming group of three walked by the row of computers Sae and Teo sat at. Monori, the guy living in the same housing estate as Sae, led the way. Practically speaking, the two were neighbours, and even though Monori was a few years older, he had a brother the same age as Sae. Since growing up, they had seen each other from time to time and chatted occasionally.

Monori was checking the number of each cubicle as he made his way over, so when he noticed a familiar face, he stopped to say hi. Following behind the boy was Little Mo, his younger brother.

This couple of brothers truly looked alike, cut from the same mould, except for their demeanour which stood poles apart. Monori was calm and a bit scary, but his viciousness hid in his calmness, while Little Mo was loud like a rooster ready to fight, childish and wild – boasting nonstop.

As for the last person taking up the rear... it was precisely Shum Deil.

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