Since the start of the second semester, one thing cast a shadow on the usual course of days. Although Sae was back in full swing, Shum Deil not once tried to get close to him. That wasn’t actually a problem, and it was not something to feel regretful about. Still, Sae had an inkling like something had been lost and wasn’t right.
The two had not talked since Shum Deil offered to take him home, nor had they seen much of each other in or outside of school.
The novelty of Shum Deil taking first place at the end-of-term examinations quickly passed. Or rather, it seemed akin to a fever dream, one that all of the school had dreamt at the same time. Shum Deil did not correct his ways in the slightest so that one oddity of normal behaviour seemed too bizarre to be true. Shum Deil cut class when he felt like it, came in late if he wanted to sleep more. He barely did any homework and did not have the most basic class materials, such as books or more than one pen. Then what exactly was in his bag?
Sometimes, Sae saw him loitering outside of the classroom’s windows, no doubt to reflect or repent. The boy’s lean waist and long legs cut a striking form in the otherwise blank hallway.
There were even anecdotes about him now, such as when the history teacher caught him playing on his phone during class.
When the teacher asked Shum Deil what he was doing not listening to class, he said, “I don’t care what some dude said hundreds of years ago.”
“That dude is the founder of our nation,” the history teacher roared, close to a nervous breakdown. He knew the youth was smart. That was commendable, but he could not stand arrogance.
Shum Deil did not even put his phone down as he said, “When he was alive, I bet he was just some dude. Probably someone’s neighbour.”
The teacher: “…..”
It wasn’t hard to guess where Shum Deil spent the rest of that class period.
From the time Sae had to sit out in gym class, Shum Deil finally bought the gym uniform and joined in on the fun.
Even if Sae got into fights or beat someone with too big of a mouth in his free time, most teachers knew that in front of them, he was nothing but a self-controlled, trustworthy kid. Thus, the gym teacher let him go back to the classroom to stay inside after reporting at the start of each lesson.
Usually, it wasn’t so freezing in the middle of the day in February. The indoor gymnasium got too cramped for all the boys to play football, so the teacher made a compromise. The lot that wanted to go out and bare the cold so much could do so, the choice was theirs. Of course, Shum Deil was one of those dauntless types.
Sae hadn’t slept well last night, so he slumped on the desk and napped all through the gym class. He only saw the boys when they walked back from the quad at the sound of the class dismissal bell. Sports was a good subject for boys to start their bonding. As the lot went inside, and unlike the previous times, Shum Deil did not walk in the front, nor had he pick up the rear end alone. Instead, he mixed smack in the middle of the line, joking with two other students.
Sae turned away from the window and buried his face in the crook of his arm. His phone vibrated in the desk drawer, making an awful buzzing noise. After this happened three times, Sae could not take it anymore. He got up, thrust his arm into the drawer and searched solely by touch. Once his hand closed around the phone, he pulled it out.
––Going home together after classes?
––I’m so angry I want to vent.
––Wait for me in the classroom!
Three messages, all from Emi.
He wrote, What got you so worked up? but did not get a reply.
The boys came back to the classroom before the girls did. Teo didn’t even sit down. He threw his bag on his chair and asked, “Are you hungry? I’m buying bread in the lunchroom. Do you want something?”
Lunch was between 13.30 and 14.30 for the seniors. Although it was set for sixty minutes, they did not get a whole period to eat, only a twenty-five-minute recess. That was why some kids went to their subject teachers, asking for permission to work around the time if they were ever late to class. Of course, some classes were lucky enough to have a free period just around that time. They could have lunch comfortably. However, most students simply bought something from the shop and ate that. No one had the time to wait in line for two-thirds of the allotted time.
Sae lay back down. He could’ve gone to eat during the gym period but was too tired to move. Even now, he did not feel hungry, but they still had two lessons left for the day. And so, from the shelter of his arms, he mumbled, “Get me something sweet.”
Teo rapped his fingers at the edge of the desktop. “OK. Anything to drink?”
“White tea. Thanks.”
Some students went to the dining hall straight from the sports building. The classroom felt a bit deserted. After Teo left with several classmates, it got even quieter. Sae glanced at his phone. His earlier message got a checkmark instead of a time stamp – meaning that Emi had read it.
––I don’t want to stay here. Maybe I should just cut class?
––Dammit, why aren’t you one of the slacker types? But I know, you’d never cut class for anything.
Sae typed, What happened? but before he could hit send, another incoming text arrived.
––Don’t worry about it. We’ll talk later.
Emi could be a bit overdramatic sometimes. Her antics rarely fazed Sae. On average, he only had to ask twice, and the little girl spilt the beans in no time. And if he did not get the opportunity to ask twice? No matter; he only had to wait and see.
As the girls came back, the classroom became lively again. Two classmates messed around, and one of them got pushed back, knocking into Sae’s desk. “Sorry,” that boy said, then chased after the other.
It was impossible to nap in this environment.
The last two lessons for the humanities class were with their head teacher, so the kids got a bit more daring. A good number of them came in late, saying the line at the lunchroom was too long. On the contrary, Teo had sat at his desk with his legs folded to a pretzel and stuffed his face to finish before the teacher came in. He tried to play the part of a reformed student to moderate success.
When the day’s dismissal bell finally rang, the head teacher warned the students on duty to clean up and switch off the lights before going home.
“Everyone else, tidy your desks,” the man said amidst mild chatter, chairs scraping on the floor and bags snapping closed. “Put your chairs up, and don’t litter around. Last month I was told this classroom is one of the messiest.” With that, he bid goodbye and exited the room.
Minke stayed back, trying to tutor some knowledge into Teo after class. A few classmates still loitered around, slacking off and not going home. Sae waited for Emi at his seat, playing on his phone and listening to Minke help Teo. She was quizzing Teo about their current chapter words, adjusting his pronunciation.
The girl felt repentant about her comment on the exam charm. However unwitting, she still insinuated that Teo was beyond help. So, at the start of the week, she approached him and said, “I’ll help you with your English homework. You can ask me anything you don’t understand.”
She was generous. Others would not bother with an off-handed comment like this, but Minke being the way she was, felt so bad for so long that she had to do something.
Once Emi turned up, she called out to Sae from the door without coming in. Sae stood and said goodbye to Minke and Teo, but the little girl was too antsy and didn’t wait for him – racing off on her own.
“Hey! Emi, wait! Didn’t you say let’s go home together? Why are you running away?” Even though Sae’s legs were considerably longer, he still had to stretch his steps to match the girl’s wild pace.
“Don’t mess up my tempo. I’m trying to de-stress,” Emi said, not slowing down one bit. “Did you know that Rise Chan is an asshole?”
Completely lost, Sae asked, “Who?”
“He’s the reason I almost got slapped a few months ago.”
“Ah.” Sae sounded, unsure about how to keep up. “Would you tell me why, or do I have to beat you in a race to home first?”
“Jesus Christ, I’ve never met someone so arrogant in my life!” Emi said, “What does it matter if you have a good face but soup for brains… Does he really think he’s the centre of the universe?”
Usually, they only walked to the bus stop in front of H Junior High, then took bus no.410 to the back street of their housing estate. Now though, Emi did not even notice they walked way over and were almost at the next stop. She stopped and turned on Sae. “Does every guy think they are the king of a nation if a girl glances at them twice?”
Sae did not expect Emi to stop so suddenly. His steps screeched to a halt. “I’m not sure if you expect me to answer this question from personal experience or...”
The little girl put up her hand. “Don’t answer it. It was a rhetorical question.”
“Good, because I was really at a loss just now.”
“I could see that.” A faint smile flickered over Emi’s features.
The two continued in a light jog as Sae asked, “Did he say something to you?”
Emi laughed without mirth, “I don’t think he’d dare. But it somehow got into his ears that there was a ‘fight’ because of him a few months back, and he started talking shit about me.” As she talked about it, Emi got worked up and started to ramble. “As if I’d be waiting for him before every class! Please, I don’t even know what class he’s in. I looked at him once! This is so ridiculous. Do I have to deal with this just because I’m a teenage girl?”
Sae scratched at the base of his ear. “...There must be girls who sometimes do things like that.”
“Even so,” Emi cut him off, “No girl deserves getting talked about like that based on nothing. What did I even do?”
Sae did not know how to answer that question. Judging from Emi’s current mood, she confronted that boy today. Sae had a slight idea about how things played out but still had to ask, “So how’d you react?”
“I didn’t. At first, I really wanted to go there and yell at him. But then I remembered that your cold detachment was much more effective, so I held it in.” Emi brushed her fingers along her nose bridge. “Ah, it was so hard I could barely sit still.”
That actually surprised Sae. Was his so-called ‘cold detachment’ so effective? He asked, “So that’s when you texted me?”
White mist wafted before Emi’s face whenever she opened her mouth to talk. “The first time, yes. Then I saw him on my way to class. I couldn’t help myself and told him to cut the crap. You know what he said? Ugh!” She had to stomp her feet just by remembering. “That I’m not that bad. So why didn’t I try to get it on with him?”
“…..” Sae became speechless.
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“I should’ve hit him!”
Sae glanced at her. “You didn’t, did you?”
“I wanted to kick at him, but like a mind-reader, he sidestepped before I could move. So, I coldly told him that looking at it from up close his delusional head is too large, so keep on dreaming. Then I left.”
They were almost at the apartment complex now. As they walked, Sae could feel his body getting warmer. The generously padded winter coat wrapped him up. He had not been ready for a run out of the blue. A gust of wind ruffled his , and he could feel dampness at his temples. He praised the girl, “You did well.”
Emi smiled at him. “Thank you, I feel so myself.”
Ever since they left school, the two travelled at a breakneck pace. Like this, the distance between school and home didn’t seem so far. As the two of them stepped inside the lift at their residential building, Emi cleared her throat. “What about you? You haven’t said anything since school started...”
Sae was leaning to the side wall of the lift, his elbow propped on its narrow ledge. “About what?”
For a few seconds, they ascended in silence. Sae knew what the little girl was asking about, but there was nothing to tell her. “There’s no interesting stuff to talk about. Did Teo tell you anything?”
Emi hesitated before confirming, “No, he really didn’t.”
Sae poked the girl’s forehead with a finger. “Silly, that’s because there’s nothing to tell.”
In truth, the absence of that thing of importance, the one Emi wanted him to share, still baffled Sae.
How come Shum Deil didn’t try to talk to him? Like why? Sae got pushed, alright, but then...? It certainly was not an intentional attack, yet he got disregarded so deliberately. Didn’t he deserve an explanation?
Sae chuckled to himself. Ah, he was still thinking about this...
“What?” Emi asked.
He shook his head. “Nothing. Let’s go inside.”
Weeks passed like grains of sand falling in an hourglass. Starting in early March, preparation for special admissions and the entrance exams took up most of the students’ time. The homework load doubled, and there were mock tests every other week. The teachers worked hard to keep up the fighting spirit and to get more and more students into prestigious schools.
Of course, not everyone had plans like that. Kaikai had to apply to three different fancy high schools in the city. The number of special classes he received after school doubled, while the dark smudges below his eyes intensified day after day.
“Did you know that if you have severe sleep deprivation, you can have a breakdown?” Kaikai swung his body on a chair, facing its backrest. “Your body shuts down, and you’ll have memory issues.”
The humanities class had their upcoming lesson in class D’s room. Most of them had already migrated rooms, but there were still people loitering around from science class II. Sae tossed his bag onto the desk beside Kaikai. “What? You can’t sleep?”
“Me?” Kaikai grinned, “I’m sleeping really well. Too well –– that’s my mother’s problem.”
“But then what about...” Coming up to them, Teo gestured at Kaikai’s eyes. He leaned back and made himself comfortable as if he was at home. Those remaining students from science class II. looked at him disapprovingly.
“Ah,” Kaikai rubbed his eyes in return. “My mother oversees my study process a bit too well. She wakes me after five hours of sleep.”
Sae furrowed his brows. It really was hard to be a person as precious as the child of Heaven.
“Also,” Kaikai reached out his hand with his palm side up, showing his grubby skin. “I asked Susu to give me her eyeliner. I use it to scare the teachers into softening a little so they let me off earlier. I usually nap somewhere for the time being.” Kaikai sighed, “But I can’t use it on Mum. She would know after a glance.”
“I don’t know who has it worse,” Teo relented, “You or me.”
Teo currently stood with both legs in different boats. He tried to study with all his sincerity… for about the first week.
Minke, bless her soul, still felt bad enough to not give up on him. She stayed back a few times a week, tutoring the boy in English and Chemistry. She went about the problem by using her craftiness. After about two days, Minke realised going over vocab wasn’t Teo’s style. “Watch anything with subtitles. Listen to songs and look up their meanings,” she instructed, “You know all the gaming related terms because you play video games all day and unconsciously learn them. Do it with other words as well on different platforms. Studying isn’t just cramming at a desk.”
Thanks to that advice, slowly and in time, Teo did get better at reading and listening comprehension. But real studying had a long way to go.
In less than a month, the spring basketball tournament would be held. Sae still couldn’t play. Well, he technically could, but had been advised not to, not yet. Kaikai, on the other hand, was flat-out forbidden to play and had to withdraw. With two of their players down, their class trained more intensely than ever. That included Teo as well.
Sae went to training a few times to watch and to goof around a little, but he made a pact with his mother to sit this one out.
Instead, he helped Teo with his academics. Even if he could not have Teo’s back in the tournament, he could assist his friend to get into M High. Assist in moderation – true to his promise, he gave out notes but otherwise left Teo be.
The last maths mock paper they did earn Teo a private talk with the maths teacher in the faculty office. In the afternoon, he finally came, battered and defeated, to bow down before Sae and ask him to explain the whole paper for their answer correction homework.
They settled down close to the windows in their classroom. Teo actually paid attention for once – partly because he wanted to learn this and partly because Sae was intimidating. “I understand now. Yes, uh-huh, but...” he said, then meekly added, “If you could go over the key points again.”
They had been going at it for more than an hour and a half by now. The late afternoon sun shone through the windows, washing the classroom with orange light.
“How can you be so bad at this?” Sae erupted, “It’s not even that hard. Here. You put the coordinates into the equation. At the least, tell me you know the formula.”
“It’s that one...” Teo paged through his notebook, eyes flashing on all kinds of formulas.
“Which one?”
“I don’t... know,” cried Teo. “My mind isn’t tuned for things like this.” He pushed the notebook away as if it betrayed him. “From a scientific standpoint, it’s just right.”
Sae furrowed his brows. Sometimes it became a challenge to figure out the meaning behind Teo’s words. “I’m not following.”
Teo licked his lips and said, “I can’t be good at everything, right? Let’s face it. That would be unrealistic.” He waited for Sae to nod, then continued. “I’m bad at maths, but I’m an ace at playing <Valiant Proctor>. And running. Besides, I won’t remember any of this in five years. This isn’t practical if a zombie invasion breaks out. Which one would save me: maths or my swift legs?”
“Practically speaking, first you’d need to get away from the heart of the epidemic as fast as possible,” said Sae as he completed the equation in the notebook. He looked up. “Which you need money to do. A car is faster than your legs, so it’s advised not to fail maths in middle school.”
“Mnm, that’s true. Cars are practical,” Teo nodded. “What if it breaks out before I can graduate?”
“Then you can use your fast and sturdy legs.” Sae’s knuckles jutted out as he held onto the pencil and made corrections on the scratch paper before him. He put the notebook before Teo and tapped it twice with his pencil. “This is the last time.”
Teo vehemently nodded. “I’ll go and freshen up, then come back. Maybe my brain can’t fully function because I feel so sleepy.”
Bet you feel sleepy; your eyes almost glued shut just now!
Sae nodded his assent. “Let’s open the windows for a while. Let some fresh air in.”
Teo got up and moved to the row of windows before going to the washroom. Left alone, Sae leaned his forehead into the crook of his elbow. The weather was alright, no longer cold, and the wind also softened from being so harsh all the time. Faint noises drifted up from the quad, the slap of hurried steps and the thud of a ball being kicked.
The breeze coming from outside felt refreshing as it touched the back of Sae’s neck. He turned his face to the side and rolled the pencil with a flick of his finger on the desk, waiting. He never liked to ‘teach’ others, always feeling that his explanations were more roundabout than how he solved problems in his mind.
This late in the afternoon, only some of the school’s clubs or students living on campus stayed behind to keep messing around. The lilting note of faraway laughter billowed from the quad. It was loud and unbridled, easy to hear even on the third floor. However, it sounded kind of charming.
Sae stood and walked toward the source of the sound, curious to see what the fuss was about. Looking out of the window, he gazed down straight at the courtyard.
There, five or six boys played football. The sole goalie had shredded his uniform jacket, wearing only a shirt as he held his stomach, laughing so hard he bent over. He had on gloves as well, very professional. The wind messed up his hair, making it dance all around his face, which stretched into a wide grin.
Deil stayed back to play a round of ball with some guys from his class. It had not been his idea, but the guys from his class were stressed out because of all the studying.
Since the first week of March, some subject teachers started lobbying to take over gym classes, trying to squeeze in just one more lesson to help the kids before the onslaught of entrance exams officially began.
Deil was not stressed at all, but since he got invited, he stayed, unaware of attracting someone’s attention.
Up on the third floor, Sae squinted his eyes. He didn’t know what they were laughing at but leaned on his elbows and watched with rap attention.
“I’m back!” called Teo, making Sae flinch with fright. “What are you doing?”
“Nothing.” Sae turned back and closed the window before sitting down. “Just wanted to get some fresh air.”