Chapter 34: January 22, Saturday– A bit suspicious (Chapter .26)

The frost stayed long after the New Year. It had been very cold and very white outside. No matter how overcast the sky became, the days remained bright as the accumulated snow reflected every lick of light.

At school, things went back to normal. Sae and Shum Deil greeted each other if they met in the hallways. During the first weeks, Shum Deil didn’t show a single strand of his hair near the English club, but he didn’t withdraw completely.

Starting from the third week of January, he came without a fuss, sat down at his usual seat and listened to the lecture all the way without a peep. When Sae got sorted with him during club meetings, they kept arguing like little kids.

Just like that, the first test-taking of the English competition arrived. Shum Deil, the academic god who once again came out on top in the first year’s end-of-term examination ranking, had actually pulled out of the competition.

Sae had attended it with Minke and Kaikai.

Kaikai, the poor boy, only went for his parents’ sake. Even if he got fourth place, that was as good a token of his dedication to the humanities stream as any. In the past, when he had been part of a science class, he never qualified for competitions. On the one hand, Kaikai got his best scores to date during this year’s testing. On the other hand, the humanities class was still considered inferior to the sciences. He had to do something to butter up the adults at home.

Although the end-of-term ranking had come to light, a lot of students were still on edge. Some had pleasant surprises seeing their results, while others faced devastation. For the first years, it was a mere trial run. They still had plenty of time, free of thoughts of the college entrance exams. For upper-year students though, especially for the soon-to-graduate classes, it was a tooth-and-nail battle against each other, and above all, against themselves.

That general agreement – whilst unsaid but eternal – determined a lot of parents’ mindsets about how they raised their kids. Never mind that some students thrived on their own accord.

The same standard stood for junior high schools as well. Emi had progressed almost one hundred places during the last semester. It was the equivalent of leaving three classes in the dust behind her.

“Best wishes to the new empress of studying,” Teo bowed down before Emi, accompanied by flashy hand gestures. “If I knew you were this smart, I never would’ve laughed at you in the past.”

Emi pushed Teo away, giggling. She had been a little moody and blunt ever since Christmas, but today she was back to her usual self, courtesy of reuniting with her mother.

Emi, Teo and Sae were waiting for Emi’s mother to arrive at the train station. Emi wanted to come and pick her mother up, so Sae accompanied her. As a ‘buy one get one free’ promotion, Teo tagged along too.

Just now, the little girl acted shy hearing such blatant flattery. She didn’t want the first scene her mother witnessed after arriving in the city to be a teenage boy up in her face, even if that teenage boy was just Teo.

Sae understood her concern and pulled at Teo’s hood. “Scram.”

“Scram? I was congratulating her from the bottom of my heart, but this cold world never listens,” Teo whined, pulling his hood all the way up to cover his head. He didn’t fail any of his subjects, but it was clear as day that he had reverted back to his slacker ways. His congratulation was as sincere as one could be.

“The whole country is cold now,” Emi replied, jumping in place. “Damn, it’s freezing. Aren’t you two cold? I think my feet are about to turn into ice.”

“It’s almost time.” Sae checked the platform display on the wall, but a gust of wind whirled his next words away.

When the train arrived at the platform, Emi bounced away to welcome her mother. The boys stayed back, burrowing deep into their coats. Five minutes later, Emi and her mother came around arm-in-arm, pulling a suitcase after them.

Sae went to take the bag from the woman. He greeted, “Welcome back, Auntie.”

Emi’s mother was much like her daughter, small in stature with a dark bob on her head. Her similarity to Emi was evident at a glance. Seeing the two boys again, she grinned at them. “Boys, why did you come? You didn’t have to.” She let go of the suitcase, handing it to Sae. “Thank you.”

Walking to the taxi they had called earlier, Teo chatted with Emi’s mother while Sae trailed after them, rolling the bag along. The woman was flanked on both sides – on one by her daughter and on the other by Teo.

Teo asked, “What about Emi’s final grades? Was Aunty surprised about them?”

“Not really surprised, more like rightfully pleased.” Emi’s mother threw an arm around Emi’s shoulders. “I know how hard she worked, studying alone and getting classes after school twice a week.”

She turned to her daughter, “We also have to thank your tutor later.”

What?

Emi grinned back while nodding her head. She avoided looking at Teo or Sae.

At the parking lot, the taxi driver helped Sae take care of the luggage. They had to decide who sat where. Unknowing of her previous slip of the tongue, Emi’s mum took the front seat next to the driver and said, “You three sit at the back. It’s bothersome for me to squeeze in there.”

Everyone filed into the car. Since neither Teo nor Sae wanted to sit in the middle, Emi took that seat. They departed shortly after.

---

Once she was out of her mother’s sight, Emi’s smile wobbled. She could feel the bucket of overturned mud dripping on her head drop by drop.

“You have a tutor?” Sae asked right when Teo opened his mouth to say, “Is your boyfriend helping you out, but you lied to your mother saying he’s a tutor?”

“Jesus,” pretending that she didn’t hear Sae, Emi hit Teo square on the arm. In the limited space, when she hit Teo, her elbow connected with Sae’s side, inflicting pain in a double-sided attack.

Teo rubbed his bicep with a yelp, but Emi turned on him, “Are you done?! That’s all I need, you blabbering nonsense like this to my mum. Are you writing a book?”

Teo opened his mouth but hesitated. They glanced towards the front seat. Emi’s mother was in the middle of chatting with the driver. New construction work took place in one of the city’s neighbourhoods, and because of it, the taxi had to take a detour. The adults talked about ongoing changes in the city, not minding the backseat bunch one bit.

“So it’s really a tutor?” Teo asked, still rubbing his arm. Emi had considerable strength hidden under her cute outer appearance, and her jabs hurt a lot. Teo let out a whistle. “You had me fooled.”

“It’s not that hard to fool you. Why would you think I have a boyfriend?”

“I mean, you blew Sae off, constantly keeping secrets...” As Teo said this, he shot a look at Sae.

In Sae’s mind, scenes from the last months flipped over. If Emi had a tutor, it was probable to assume that whenever she spent time in the library, it was because she had a lesson. But she never mentioned anything about it to him. Why? It’s not like he would make fun of her.

Sae recalled the boy he saw with Emi.

He could feel Emi looking at him from his peripheral vision, so turned to her with a calculated calmness. “Say, on the 24^th of last month, were you at the library?”

“Huh?” The little girl’s face showed surprise. “Yeah, I was. Why?”

“You had a lesson even after the exams? That’s badass.” Teo leaned forward. “But who is your tutor? Keeping it under wraps so much is a bit suspicious.”

Emi blinked and wetted her lips. “Uh, it’s...”

“Shum Deil,” Sae said without much emotion, “Right?”

“How did you know that?” she asked in that instant.

Emi could never fake a reaction. Just now, as she turned to Sae, she reflexively grabbed his knee. “How do you know it’s him?”

They looked at each other without blinking.

“You knew?” Teo cut in. “What about me? Why don’t I know if you do?”

Sae knew Teo did it on purpose, asking to get chided by both of them, but he kept his gaze on the little girl. Emi could hardly take his gaze and blinked before breaking eye contact.

Then Teo started laughing. “You’re dating the kid who broke Sae’s arm? Don’t you hate him?”

The back of the car got quiet with murderous intent. The radio droned on about conscientious item returns in shops after the holiday season. Emi’s mum and the driver were still discussing the construction nearby. Teo was glared at by two pairs of eyes hard enough that daggers were about to fly.

“Mnm,” Emi sounded, her voice laced with self-restraint, “You’re right. I did, but now I don’t. That doesn’t mean you can tease me about it. Don’t think I won’t beat you just because my mum’s here.” Her gaze was forceful and daunting, crushing one’s heart. It said, don’t mess with me.

“I was just––”

“Don’t,” Sae and Emi said at the same time. After that, Teo stayed quiet. His buffering services weren’t needed here.

Sae thought, if his first guess was right, could his other intuition be true as well? He turned to Emi with a pressing look. “So Shum Deil gave you actual lessons, right? Not like, pre-solved papers or...” he went quiet, unable to end that sentence.

Emi almost laughed. “What? He–what?”

Sae kept quiet. He knew he messed up.

“Pre-solved papers…you mean for money? You...” The implication of what Sae said started to sink in. Emi swept her arm, gesturing to her left. “Am I like Teo in your eyes?”

After the earlier scolding, the boy in question behaved splendidly, keeping quiet and following the course of things from the side. Yet, out of nowhere, he got attacked with a thousand thorns.

“Am I a joke to you?!” Teo roared. He moved to pinch Emi, who pulled in her knees in avoidance. Following that, they all engaged in a physical tussle.

---

“Ah, stop pulling my hair! Emi, stop it with my ha– fuck!” Teo was so close to the edge of his patience that his voice wavered, his eyes turning dark.

One of Emi’s hands gripped Teo’s hair while the other drilled into Sae’s side. She was indignant. “Do you actually perceive me so stupid as to buy answers for better grades? Take it back, whatever you’re thinking, take it back!”

“I didn’t say anything,” objected Teo.

“Not you!” Emi lashed out. “Sae, I’m not an idiot, okay?”

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“Did I say you were?” Sae failed to restrain the girl’s flailing hand. Fortunately, he chose not to wear glasses today.

“Then why say something like that if it’s not in line with your opinion?” Emi countered. “You can think whatever about others, but how can you assume that about me? Are my abilities so scarce or my morals so low as to cheat my way up? That hurts, okay.”

“Can I say that I’m hurting as well?” Teo said from the side, “Emi, please let go of my hair.”

The little girl growled and let go of them at the same time, retreating into herself. She took a deep breath, trying to calm the storm in her chest.

The back of the car settled down. When Sae saw that Emi had collected herself a little, he nudged her in an attempt to smooth things over. “Hey, I didn’t mean to look down on you. I know how hard you studied; it’s just...”

“What?” Teo asked instead of Emi.

Sae leaned his head back, looking at the car’s roof with a sigh. He knew he was in the wrong, but there were things he could not simply explain to the other two. There was no way to say it.

I saw Shum Deil from a distance, so I lingered to watch what he was doing?

He would be insane to confess that.

“I saw him once in a situation that looked like a kind of transaction? I don’t know. I wasn’t sure...” Sae said after a pause, “Because of that one time, just now, I spoke carelessly. My bad.”

“Okay,” Emi said, “Teo, sorry for hurting you. Does it hurt?”

Teo pouted. “It’s okay.”

Emi reached out and stroked the hair at the side of Teo’s head in apology.

“You’re not sorry for hurting me?” Sae said, “I got a few elbows, too,”

“You had it coming.”

“But it’s not like you weren’t keeping secrets” Teo grabbed Emi’s hand and pulled it down. “So what’s up with that?”

Emi and Teo shared a meaningful look. Emi asked as if stating the obvious. “Well, how could I’ve said it? Remember what your first reaction was just now? Sans the moronic boyfriend comments, of course.”

“That you hate Shum Deil. That he’s the dude who,” Teo trailed his eyes to the front of the car and restrained his volume to utter the next words in an almost whisper, “...broke Sae’s arm.”

Emi nodded. The duo turned to face Sae.

Sae felt like he got observed in an unfriendly way. After enduring a minute of being stared at, Sae closed his eyes, utterly drained. A year had passed…and still this nonsense. He no longer commented on the topic, too done with the issue.

Why shield someone who, in his honest opinion and considering their current relationship, didn’t require shielding? Not from the two individuals sitting beside Sae right now.

“I did hate him,” Emi admitted. “That’s why this is so awkward.”

Sae opened his eyes and looked at the little girl.

Emi fiddled with the piercing in her ear. “Ugh, okay. So, at first, I refused to take classes from him. I had my opinions... I still have them, mind you, but they’ve changed. This whole thing was Mum’s idea.”

Sae said, Go on, and so Emi did, saying, “You can actually book private tutors through the English academy now.”

But why didn’t you ask me? Sae thought. He turned his neck to look out the window. The city was grey and busy, sludge accumulating on the side of the roads, steam colouring the air with vapour. The trees and bushes were still white-capped, and unattended cars wore a blanket of snow.

“Mum didn’t want to burden you. With your mum always inviting me to eat with you two, you both look after me during school weeks... That’s already a lot.” Emi had guessed what Sae was thinking about. She said, “I wasn’t comfortable taking up so much of your time. In the end, Mum searched for a student tutor through the academy because that’s cheaper than actual teachers. They recommended Shum Deil, but not like promoting him with flyers or whatever.”

Sae turned his neck back to look at Emi. He couldn’t help but say, “Silly. I still would’ve helped you.”

After quietly listening for a while, Teo chimed in, “Yeah, remember how Sae trained me before the exams in middle school? It’s impossible for you to take up more of his time than I did.”

Sae reached over Emi to push Teo’s shoulder. “What are you saying? Who trained you? Have some self-respect.”

They shared a chuckle, but Sae frowned, realising another weird detail.

There was nothing wrong with Emi’s wish to shape up her grades. They all knew how she drove herself to study harder, but what made her so eager as to even hire outside help?

“Why did you want to have a tutor in the first place?” Sae asked. “You never cared about grades or ranks before.”

Emi sighed. “Remember the girl I fought with? She’s in the top twenty-five ranking for our year, always boasting about students belonging to different classes based on their academic performance, totally condescending. Since that day, she looked down on me every instance she got, picking a fight whenever she could. I wanted to show her that she ain’t shit.”

Teo nodded in understanding.

Emi added, “It’s even worse since I’ve gotten better. She’s been obnoxious.”

The two teenage boys were out of their element hearing a story like that. So the reason why Emi studied like crazy was to one-up some girl she once had a fight with? Was that how girls normally dealt with grudges?

“Huh,” Sae was the first to open his mouth, “She didn’t look like someone who’d flex and get pressed over grades.”

“Well, she most definitely does,” replied Emi.

“Kids, get out. We’re here,” Emi’s mother said. The taxi stopped in front of their apartment complex. The winter sun shone on the white walls, the rows of balcony windows reflecting back light.

The trio at the back crawled out one after the other. After Emi got out, Sae suddenly turned to face Teo with a question, “What are you doing?”

“Getting out, I’m going to your house,” Teo said without a hitch. “Feed me lunch, the travel made me hungry.”

Emi reminded him, “It was you who wanted to come with us to pick up my mum.”

“I know, but I’m not so dull to intrude on your mother-daughter time or whatever.” Teo ruffled the little girl’s bangs. “Sae’s right here, so don’t mind me. Stay with your mother.”

Sae did not know if he should laugh or cry. So now Teo did them a favour by inviting himself to Sae’s for lunch?

Teo trotted back for the luggage while Emi’s mother took care of the taxi’s payment. That left Emi alone with Sae on the sidewalk.

“I told him off for you, you know,” Emi said as a continuation of their earlier discussion. “The first time I met Deil at the library. I was really angry at him, but Mum didn’t know about that. Later, she asked me about the lesson. What could I say? I mean, just think about it. Could I tell her I want to beat up my tutor after the first lesson when I was the one who asked her to help me find someone in the first place?”

Sae looked at Emi and filled in the rest. “So, although grumpily, you went for the next lesson.”

“Yea, but not immediately. First, I ditched him a few times.” Emi grinned at Sae, and her upturned eyes curved with mischief. “It’s safe to say Deil didn’t like that. I had talked it over with the academy. You only have to pay for the lessons held. If you cancel, there’s no additional cost, so I did. During that time, I tried to study by myself.”

“Mnm,” Sae sounded. Now that they had cleared things up, he felt a weight lift from his shoulders.

Emi’s mother and Teo were a few metres away, so Sae and Emi made their way to the entrance first. Sae put in the code, and the two waited in the lobby for the others.

“So you’re not angry?” Emi asked. “I mean, the last time you said anything about Deil to me, it was about how he almost punched you.”

That was true. Sae never mentioned anything Shum Deil related to Emi.

“Why would I be?” he asked while calling the lift down from the twentieth floor.

There really was no reason for Sae to be angry. If Emi didn’t get pulled into the peddler business, and Sae no longer knew for sure there was a peddler business, what was there to be angry about? The girl could learn from whoever she wanted to. Emi’s mother also knew who her tutor was; she had been the one to arrange it.

Although it was a bit hard to associate Shum Deil with tutoring people, that was a personal problem with the picture Sae’s mind constructed of the other boy.

Following this line of thought, it didn’t need deep contemplation for Sae to realise that even though Emi withheld the truth, it was understandable why she did it. So he told her, “You’re the one that has to spend time with him, not me. If you’re okay with it, I’m okay with it. Besides, your grades have gotten much better, so he must know something.”

Emi nodded and smiled again.

Coming through the door, Emi’s mother chatted with Teo about twist fritters. The woman wanted to bake during the weekend, and Teo seemed enthusiastic enough to get himself invited to the baking party. The two joined them in the lift that took everyone to the fourteenth floor.

Emi and her mother lived two doors down the corridor from Sae's house. At the entrance to their home, Emi hesitated before saying goodbye.

Sae felt the little girl’s uncertainty. She was probably overthinking things, feeling guilty and unsure about Sae’s stance on this. However, Sae could do nothing for the time being. Once everyone digested this revelation, he would try to assure Emi again.

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