Chapter 230: Davian's Diary

Aila leaned closer to the diary at the mention of Amelia Cross. 

Davian's diary:

My mother is, as I suspected, a woman with a black heart. There was a time where I loved my mother, but slowly, I came to realise her kind smile never reached her icy stare, her hugs were cold, and the sweet words any mother tells their child were empty and full of lies. Love turned into loathing and resentment.

On many occasions, I have wondered if my father, too, is of a darker nature, for how could his mate be someone like her? What fate did the Moon Goddess see to reunite such souls? My father is a good man. Did the Goddess predict he would alleviate my mother's wickedness? Alas, I am the offspring of such a couple. Though my wolf has come through, I have not seen any such powers from my vampiric nature.

This is why mother is intent on using me as her test subject. It is better me than Milo, though I doubt she would put her precious youngest son in harm's way. Though he looks like a younger version of me, both of us resembling mother more than father. I hate it.. 

Aila paused on that sentence, recognising Milo's name and remembering the portraits of her ancestors she found in the mansion. They were of all the Alpha King's and Queens of the Cross family, and it was then she realised Davian was not the one to succeed the throne after Matthias. So, his younger brother did? And what she remembered of Milo was that he, too, had white hair and blue eyes. Had she read it wrong that the gene was only passed down to one sibling?

"No, I remember you reading it," Malia added after pondering on the same thing as Aila. "But Davian and Milo are the first of the Cross line with both werewolf and vampire blood. So, it is possible that they both took on the gene?"

It was possible. But was there more to it than the simplicity of keeping one person on the throne with white hair and blue eyes? "If I had a sibling.. One without this unique appearance. Would they be as powerful as me?" She murmured aloud, startling the black cat still curled up on her lap.

"Only one can inherit the white wolf. So, if we did have a brother or sister, they would be weaker because we are the white wolf," Malia hummed in the back of her mind.

That was true, so it must be the same for the brothers unless something happened to Davian.

"Stop thinking and read it! It's obvious something happened to him! Otherwise, he would have become the Alpha King!" Malia exclaimed her annoyance, and Aila rolled her eyes and looked back down towards the diary.

…

This is why mother is intent on using me as her test subject. It is better me than Milo, though I doubt she would put her precious youngest son in harm's way. Though he looks like a younger version of me, both of us resembling mother more than father. I hate it. 

I cannot avoid it anymore, lest I run away. Yet, my pride would not allow me. When I take over this pack, then I will cast aside my mother. I can only hope that Milo has matured and understood our mother's ways by then.

But would he?

The only moments I see a flicker of humanity behind those cold eyes are for him. I do not envy him, for my eyes are open to the ugliness that is she. If Milo knew of what she is capable of, he would think it a sick joke, an illusion. But I now know. And I will try to protect him as best I can.

But for now, I must be prepared for tomorrow. Tomorrow I meet an acquaintance of my mothers. A vampire who goes by the name of Cassius. Mother has said his blood is much purer than hers. I do not fully understand, but I hope that the experiment fails, for surely I would become nothing but a monster?

…

Aila's finger brushed over Cassius' name in the diary, her thoughts lingering on him for a moment. Her eyes flickered to the cloudy sky outside, and she wondered what the vampire was doing. Her brows drew together at her own thoughts, but she could not help it. The vampire did come into her life; even if he was disguised as Gabriel, he still left quite the impression on her. And now his name appeared in Davian's diary marking the turning point from when Davian the fourteen-year-old werewolf becomes a hybrid.

She flipped the page over and took note of the date and how his writing style had become messy. It was as though he was in a rush to write what was on his mind before the ink whipped off the page with a tear. Davian did not write in the diary for a month, then the intervals became longer in between, unlike when his daily ritual of note-taking.

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..

Cassius.

That name will forever be engrained in my mind.

My master.

I hate him. But I hate my mother more for making me this way.

..

I blacked out again. The desire for blood overrules everything in my being. Even my wolf cannot control me. He is scared for me. And so, he should be.

…

My wolf called to me today in my frenzied state. I was sickened at what I was doing. My fangs were in a woman's neck, and she seemed to enjoy it as I felt the life drain out of her. But the power surging through me was like nothing I had ever felt before. Is this the blood? Or me?

My surroundings were coated in blood. Bodies lay at my feet. 

How am I still alive?

…

Aila kept flipping through the pages; it kept speaking of the blood and power rushing through him like a drug. Davian couldn't control himself, and he had no master to help him. Davian had to figure everything out by himself. There were countless horrors written in the diary to which he woke up whenever his wolf could get through to him. Aila shivered in response to what she read and now knew the consequences of taking Gabriel's blood. She would not do it.

Her hand halted on turning the page. The writing was neater once more, and it seemed Davian was much calmer than before. It read:

I returned to the estate. My mind is clearer than it has been in years. At my sudden appearance, the guards were in disarray, but I quickly went past them to see my family. I ran away after I unknowingly attacked ten of my pack members. I should be a rogue, cast aside and banished from the pack. Yet, when my father saw me, there was no anger but sadness and pain behind his eyes. He hugged me and cried, asking me where I had been.

My father and now Milo knew what Amelia did to me. Milo, though a little wary of me, seemed to despise her. I believe he still loves her, but then her wickedness was never directed at him, so for that, I cannot fault him. It seems Amelia left after I did. Not in search for me but to another man. A shapeshifter.

I can feel the sorrow surrounding my father and his temper causing him to act out rashly. His mate had left him for another man; it was sickening. Though I have not found my mate, I hope I never would. I am a cursed man swimming in the blood I so much desire. No, the power that I so much desire.

If I wanted to, I could rule over everything. But I know this is Amelia's true intention, and so I will not fulfil such a wish. Even though I crave power, I will satiate that need from drinking blood. I can live without it, I know that now, but the blood makes me stronger and helps with the itch to become something much more powerful.

I was a child forced into becoming a monster. But I will not fall to monstrous tendencies anymore. I will pass the throne onto Milo and take my leave. There is no place for me anymore. 

…

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