Chapter 11: Chapter 7 (part 2)

In the morning, telephone consultations had dominated their work. But now, the community lawyers' office that typically had only a handful of in-person consultations had become as lively as the vegetable market. First only one old auntie had come, but then in came the second, the third, the fourth... the twentieth...

A tsunami of aunties poked around the room. None of them appeared to even see Ning Wan, but instead rushed straight past her in Fu Zheng's general direction. Having caught sight of him, they glared at each other with bright, murderous eyes. Fu Zheng felt as though he was a piece of Tang monk meatIn Journey to the West, eating a piece of a Tang monk could make a monster immortal waiting to be divided amongst the old demons...

Now completely encircled, he tried to save himself by calmly asking, "Madam, are there any legal issues you need to consult about? As we are community lawyers, we are only able to answer questions about the law."

Unfortunately, it didn't work at all...

Fu Zheng had underestimated the people's ability to bullshit. The auntie from across the street immediately came up with a question pertaining to the law. "Ah... well... let me ask you, young man. My sister's neighbor's second son's classmate found a mistress after marriage. Now the mistress is pregnant, and when she found out, his wife caused the mistress to miscarry. Since the mistress was the one who was first in the wrong, shouldn't she not be compensated?"

"..." This scenario is just too fake, auntie...

Before Fu Zheng could suffocate on his own words, he heard the auntie turn right around and come back with her own questions, "But young man, I hadn't yet finished asking just now. How much money do you currently make with this job? My daughter is 25 this year, graduated from a key universitya well-regarded university, kind of like Ivy League in China, and is now a high school teacher. Aren't teachers great? It's a stable job that can take care of the family, and great practice for educating your own future children. When you think about a good wife, consider a teacher. My daughter's WeChat is... "

“……”

"Zhang Chunhua, have you had enough?! What are you chatting about up there, your civic duty? Every one of us in this queue only gets to ask two or three questions, how long must we wait while you talk to yourself? There's no end!"

Another old auntie's angry voice sounded from down the line. However, the auntie in front of Fu Zheng called Zhang Chunhua was hardly a patient woman herself. She whirled immediately and shouted back, "What are you yowling about!? Chen Fang, do you think I don't know what you're thinking? Your niece is 32! How can you pair her up with such a young man?! She's older than any other girl here!"

"We live in a modern world, you old-fashioned hat! You can fall in love at any age!”

One thrust and the other parried, and the other old aunties in the queue began chiming in...

……

Surrounded by the crowd, Fu Zheng felt like he couldn't breathe. He had the strange sensation that his head was being trampled by a herd of ducks, and he was struggling to break free. At that moment he could no longer think of his own dignity, and in order to survive he threw away his haughty airs to tragically, embarrassedly, ask Ning Wan for help--

"Ning Wan, help me out. Can't you take on a few cases from the queue?"

Every auntie who lined up before him claimed that they had a legal need to be addressed, so he couldn't simply drive them away. But when they were before him, they began changing the topic and asking enthusiastically after his personal life...

Unfortunately, before Ning Wan could answer, the aunties before him protested, "No, young man, it's you we want to consult with! You look so much more reliable!"

“……”

Fu Zheng, fending off the battling aunties, felt hesitant for a moment, but cast it aside. Right now he had no other thoughts! He just wanted to live...

"Ning Wan! Please do me a favour!"

Ning Wan glanced at him. "I can't hear you."

Even though Fu Zheng never spoke loudly due to his refined upbringing, he abandoned his principles and raised his voice, "Ning Wan, help me!"

Alas, the answer he received in return was her meaningful tone, "My, my, I wonder just why I can't hear you?"

“……”

Fu Zheng gritted his teeth and glared at that woman sitting there calmly taking advantage of his distress. He knew what she was waiting for, but he didn't want to say it. She was doing this just because she wanted to see him kneel! How could he let her succeed?!

But...

In the end, the desire to survive overcame his sense of shame. Five minutes later, Fu Zheng steeled himself and whispered humbly, "Teacher Ning, please help me, I beg you."

Hahahahahahaha!

That's more like it.

Ning Wan stifled her inner laughter, got up and pulled her loudspeaker out. "Aunties! Those who have serious legal issues can stay! Those who wish to introduce Lawyer Fu to someone, please leave!"

She cleared her throat, then announced dramatically, "I have already reserved this man for myself!"

You are reading story I Advise You To Like Me As Soon As Possible at novel35.com

Let's put aside for the moment the stunned group of middle-aged aunties. The person most shocked by this overbearing speech was our very own Fu Zheng. He felt a little confused, as if he had somehow crossed over into some dog-blood drama where overbearing community lawyers fell in love with him. Never in his life had he imagined that he would one day be a character in a play who received off-the-charts embarrassing lines like that...

The aunties were all naturally quite dissatisfied with such a declaration, and a few of them began debating animatedly--

"Xiao Ning, how could you? Single young men of the right age are hard to come by these days. Can't you let us community residents have first dibs? "

"Xiao Ning, it's true that you're single and so is Xiao Fu, but does it mean that you must be together if you're both available? What if Xiao Fu isn't keen on you? My niece is single, too! This should be a fair and square competition."

Ning Wan raised the loudspeaker again and deadpanned, "Is this you guys' first time meeting me? Shouldn't you all already know whether I, Ning Wan, prefer fair and square competitions? Of course not! "

"Even if I surrender to my conscience and set up a fair competition, I have the advantage with Lawyer Fu! We're peers and we speak a common language, who in your families can stand against me?!”

But how could the aunties back off so easily--

"My daughter's stature isn't half bad! She's 165cm..."

Smiling, Ning Wan looked at Fu Zheng. "Fu Zheng, tell them how tall I am!"

Dazed and stupefied, Fu Zheng could only stare at her. "168cm."

Ning Wan was surprised that he was such an accurate judge, but didn't let it show. She composed her expression into a look of triumph, turned to the auntie and said, "You see? Our family's Fu Zheng has been secretly watching me for a long time! He knows how tall I am off the top of his head! Isn't our getting together just a matter of time?"

Fu Zheng had been crowned with such a hatUnjustly accused for no reason. But he couldn't refute it right then due to the unfolding situation. All he could do was press his lips tightly together and do his best to put himself through self-administered mental therapy.

Next, another middle-aged auntie who refused to accept Ning Wan's arguments brandished her phone. "Lawyer Fu, look at my niece's photo! Isn't she pretty? I'm sure she'll catch your eye."

Ning Wan did not stop her, but instead took the phone and placed it next to her face. Then she turned to Fu Zheng. "Fu Zheng, who do you think is prettier, this girl or me?"

"You."

Although he had been forced into this answer by the situation, he did at least have to admit that this was the truth. Gao Yuan had not lied - Ning Wan really was beautiful. It's just that Fu Zheng had never before imagined that such a beautiful woman could have such... unique ideas and unforgettable style...

"Xiao Ning, I don't like to boast," boasted another auntie with the air of a war veteran, "but not only is my niece tall, but she has curves too, and in all the right places!"

Fu Zheng turned his head to see Ning Wan strike the pose of a man refusing to accept the outcome of a battle. "Auntie, I've seen your niece. She's curvy alright, but her boobs aren't as big as mine, and her waist isn't as small."

“……”

"Xiao Ning, my relatives' daughter has a great temperament! Her gentleness and kindness will only add fragrance to Lawyer Fu's tea..."

Ning Wan shot back straight-faced, "I have a terrible temper myself, and will be the tigress guarding the house beside Lawyer Fu." Then she leveled her gaze onto Fu Zheng. "Fu Zheng, you tell them all loud and clear! Do you like gentle women or rude women?"

Fu Zheng's heart was dying. He gazed sightlessly into the void and replied dully, "Rude women."

……

 

The author has something to say:

[Small Theater]

A long time later:

Ning Wan: Partner Fu, I have eyes but don't see Mount TaiUnable to judge a master's talent. I am a violent, vulgar tigress. You don't want to argue with me.

Fu Zheng: Oh, but don't I like violent, vulgar tigresses?