Chapter 60: Chapter 30 (part 1)

Although Fu Zheng, that ungrateful white-eyed wolf, hadn't even sincerely thanked her but actually robbed her of milk tea as well, Ning Wan liked to think of herself as a generous boss. In the end, she decided that adults didn't hold grudges. After all, Fu Zheng had recently matured, and now that he was working properly, she found him to be serious, earnest and capable. With his help, she felt like a tiger hat had just been given wings. Of late she had delegated nearly all the telephone and field consults to him, and this left Ning Wan feeling very free and unfettered.

On this rare day, there were no phone calls or walk-in consultations. Ning Wan considered what to do. Fu Zheng was doing very well professionally, whether in the the field or in theory, so it was as good a time as any to impart to him some of her salted-fish life wisdomi.e. how to be a lazy person who coasts through life/work..

As it happens, she had just received an email from the firm--

"Dear Ning Wan, thank you for choosing to join Zhengyuan Law Firm. We're grateful to have you here with us in 2019..."

Ning Wan scanned through it. "Ah, it's the routine office thank-you email. How time flies."

Zhengyuan Law Firm had a tradition in which right after the New Year, before bonuses were distributed, the firm would send an email to every lawyer in the name of the partner team. The letter complimented each lawyer upon their progress that previous year,  and then drew a pretty little picture of a bright next year, calling upon each lawyer to look forward to the future and continue working hard.

Fu Zheng hadn't received such an email before since he had been in this job for less than a year, but the little fledgling seemed very interested in the email. As soon as Ning Wan mentioned it, he immediately perked up in an unnaturally curious manner. "How was it written?"

 

It was true that Fu Zheng had only heard about this tradition not long ago.

Gao Yuan was in charge of personnel, so it was he who usually wrote the yearly thank-you email. This year, however, he was running into a wall with his M&A case, and was out on an urgent business trip. Since he didn't have the time, he had coerced Fu Zheng into being his ghostwriter. So strictly speaking, the thank-you email that Ning Wan had received this year was really from Fu Zheng.

Fu Zheng thought that his debut work was written pretty well. It gave some well-considered encouragement and praise, it was full of the human touch, and it brought out hope for future prospects. He cleared his throat and waited expectantly for Ning Wan to sigh with emotion and praise him.

As expected, Ning Wan seemed to think that it was highly praiseworthy. "It's very well written!"

But before Fu Zheng had the time to be proud of himself, he heard her continue--

"It's the perfect example of the capitalist exploitation of labour! On the outside it's full of benevolence. It does a great job covering up the higher-up's sinister thoughts!"

“……”

Ning Wan would usually discard mail like this without reading it, but since Fu Zheng was so curious, she scanned the content and felt like it could be used to show a young fledgling his weaknesses.

"Come over here, Fu Zheng, c'mon." Following this train of thought, Ning Wan waved him over. "Since we've just happened to receive the annual thank-you email, today I'll give you your first lesson in workplace survival - how to see through the big boss's scam."

Unfortunately, Fu Zheng didn't seem grateful at all. Instead, a rather indescribable expression bloomed on his face. "What scam could the bosses have? Isn't it kind of them to send you an encouraging email? Why would you think their intentions are sinister?"

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"Let me tell you something; you're naively thinking that you and your boss are in the same boat, but in fact no matter how reasonable and affectionate someone is, once they become your boss there'll be a natural class conflict between you. A boss's goal is to spend the least money to squeeze the most amount of labor out of their employees. No boss looks highly upon work done here at the bottom level, for example, or thinks it's hard to be a community lawyer, because these cases only bring in a pittance."

Ning Wan took a sip of water and couldn't help but boast, "You should know that leaders like myself who advance and retreat with their subordinates are basically extinct!"

“……”

"Which is why I'm going to use this annual office email to enlighten you about the three workplace illusions," Ning Wan said, tsking. "Frankly, this email is so cookie-cutter, it's like it came out of a textbook."

“……”

"Watch, I'll analyze it for you sentence-by-sentence." She cleared her throat and read out the first line. "'You are one of the most important members of our team here at Zhengyuan Law. In this firm, each and every one of us is part of a big family'..."

"This section perfectly illustrates the first workplace illusion - that the boss thinks of you as a brother!" she gravely analyzed. "The next step for a boss like this is to brainwash you. First he treats you like a relative and asks you to think of the company like your own home. As soon as you hear this, be on alert! This means that he wants you to stay at the company until night falls and before you know it, you'll be sleeping in the office in a sleeping bag."

“……”

"Alright, let's move on to the next paragraph. 'You performed remarkably in 2019, winning the unanimous recognition of the partner team. In 2020, we hope that you will continue seizing the opportunities coming your way.'" Ning Wan paused. "This is the second illusion - the boss thinks highly of you and will soon give you a promotion! This is like dangling a carrot front of a donkey. But if you ask around, you'll find out that the bosses give this very same hint to every employee. They're like a adulterous man, and you're just the 100,987th girl they've had a fling with, you know? You think you're their only wife, but in reality, you're just a mistress."

“……”

When she spoke about this, she sighed with some emotion. "Do you know that the first year I entered Zhengyuan Law, I was actually pretty excited to get this email? It's not like I was CC'd or part of an email list, the partner team sent it to each and every one of us individually! Each email was tailor-made! I felt like I couldn't live up to their expectations fast enough!"

"But once I calmed down, I found that it was just a formality to send the letter to each lawyer separately. In fact, the content of every email was the same..." Ning Wan tapped on the table. "Tell me, isn't this just doing things for the sake of appearances? What's the point of sending this email? This is just a playboy playing with girls' feelings, saying the same flirtatious words to every girl they're interested in, no sincerity at all. If anyone believes them, they're the stupid ones, right?"

Fu Zheng bit his lip, apparently still struggling against the thought. "You can't say that either..."

Look at this innocent little newcomer. The boss said a word and he was anxious to rip his heart and lungs out for the man. He was still naïve! He still had to be beaten a little more!

"How can you say that? Listen, as employees, it's important to know your place. Don't imagine that you're different in the boss's eyes. Believe me, they think of you as a donkey! They might be praising you in the email as a very good donkey, but in their hearts, they're probably secretly cursing you as 'a useless ass'!"

“……”