Chapter 52: Chapter 52: Pressure

I went back to my job and worked with the paperwork piled over my desk.

My not-so-official office was located inside one of Tanya's mansion's available rooms. 

This place was completely empty when she lent it for me to use. It has a very nice view of the entire town due to this room being on the 3rd floor of the mansion, and I could see the view thanks to the huge glass windows, so I happily accepted it and just shoved an office chair, smooth brown wooden office table that the people of the Spriggan faction gifted to me, and 2 gray cushioned sofas in front of my desk, called it an office and started to work on my job.

I've been reading and writing my signatures for every file for hours now. It's a good thing that I was already used to it, that I didn't feel tired by just seeing them anymore.

I leaned my back on the cushioned backrest of my office chair while reading one of the project recommendations Karoon sent me while rubbing the pen I was holding on my temple.

I closed my eyes when I realized what project Karoon was proposing.

"A municipal building in the middle of the town, so we can hire officials to aid me in my administration? It means more funding to be spent on, but if we hire more people to do this shit for me, then, it means, fewer jobs for me, or much more, paperwork is no more!"

Though I'm not lazy, I'm just into efficiency, the more people would do the job, the faster the project would come to pass and more projects done equals more progress!

Yep, that's the reason. 

Karoon is one hell of a brilliant girl!

Approved!

Someone knocked on my door.

"Come in."

The door opened and Misha emerged from it and walked towards me.

"Big bro Casimir."

"Oh. You're already awake." I quickly stood up and approached her.

She sat on one of the gray sofas in front of my office table, I on the other hand sat in front of her.

"Is there anything you need, Misha?"

"Have you had your lunch yet, Big bro Casimir?"

Lunch?

I veered my eyes to the wall clock hanging on the wall. It's already past noon.

Time really flies really fast.

I scratched my head. "Ah, I forgot, but don't worry, I'll eat shortly." 

Her mouth immediately pouted.

I chuckled. "Now that you mentioned it, I can finally feel my hunger. Have you eaten lunch yet? Do you want to eat with me?"

Rather than answering me, she just stared at me with concern in her eyes.

"Is there a problem?"

"You look really tired, Big bro Casimir."

"Am I?"

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She nodded.

Now that I think about it, since the project of changing this place began, I never stopped working for the progress of it. I was juggling my time between my job as the ruler of this town and my training sessions to strengthen myself.

These past few weeks, I didn't even have much time for myself and Misha anymore, I spent all of my days and nights on my job.

Tanya actually told me countless times to take a break, but before I realized it, I haven't taken a break since then.

"Big sis Tanya mentioned that you are overworking yourself."

I smiled. "So that's why you came here? You are worried about me?"

She didn't answer and just stood in front of me.

"That's sweet. But don't worry about me, I'm fine-"

The next thing I felt was her hand patting my head, I raised my head and what greeted me was her tender smile.

She gently rubbed her hand on my head. "There, there. When Big bro Casimir does this to me, it always makes me feel relaxed and safe. But you stopped doing this to me because you are too busy with your job."

"Misha."

"But that's not the reason why I'm worried. Not at all." She shook her head. "Big bro Casimir should not force himself too much. It's making me worried when I see you getting more and more exhausted over time. I couldn't do anything to help you because I know nothing. All I could do was to watch and wait for you to take your rest, but you don't want to rest."

"I..."

I felt her arms on my nape as she hugged my neck. "I am worried that if you get too tired... I will lose you too. I don't want to be alone again."

As if Misha's words instantly triggered my sense of fatigue, I immediately felt the surging exhaustion run throughout my body. 

I could finally feel it. The weight on my back and shoulders, the blurriness of my vision, and the complete burnout in my entire body. However, the thing was, it's all there all along, I was just too occupied to notice them.

I was already tired. I was just too drowned by the stress of leading an entire town to admit it to myself. But the responsibility itself was not the one forcing me to tire myself like this. It's me who's been forcing this pressure in my system. 

I was too afraid to fail that I didn't realize that I was the one who was pulling myself down to my own downfall.

I can't believe I let my own insecurity slowly eat me. I feel like I want to laugh at myself.

The people of this town already gave me their trust, I should trust their trust in me. And most of all, I should have more trust in myself that I can lead this town in a way that I don't have to destroy my own in the process.

I'm so stupid. It's a good thing, my heart is here for me to pat my head to make me realize it before I completely crumble.

I patted her head and felt the softness of her ash gray hair. When was the last time I did this to her? I already forgot.

"Don't worry, I'll take my rest now. I'm sick of doing all of this paperwork anyway. I'll take a good sleep tonight." I held her hand and stood up. "How about we take our lunch now, you can probably hear my stomach rumbling by now, no?"

I pulled her hand as we walked outside of the office.

She smiled and nodded. "There is food downstairs."

"Yeah? Then, that's good. I'm so hungry right now that I would eat anything in sight!"

She chuckled. "You will love the food."

"Then, let's rush there and eat everything!"

"Yay!"

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