Chapter 97: Volume 2, Chapter 37 – Intermezzo: The Horizon I Left Behind

When blue and gray mix, the resulting color is closer to gray than it is to blue. At least, that’s what I’ve always thought.

The world had constantly been veiled in a thin veneer of gray, like an unwelcome filter universally applied to my vision. Everything was so colorless and lifeless. Pointless.

I never understood how people could smile in a world so monotonous. Happiness was a mystery that always eluded me no matter how desperately I tried to unravel its secrets, like an endless matryoshka doll that existed only to torment me.

It was numbing, both mentally and physically. Living in a world that was filled with nothing but the mire of ennui took all the willpower that I could muster to continue trudging on. I thought I might be able to stand it if I kept pushing on, but in the end, I inevitably succumbed.

I drowned in the bottomless quicksand of suffering that the world had shoved me into and chose to end it all. Even to this day, I don’t have a single regret about leaving that place. But there was one thing I was wrong about.

All that time, I had thought that I was alone in my suffering. The smiles of passersby, the bright and cheery laughter of my classmates. I thought that the pain and hurt I desperately held onto as the core of my identity was exclusive only to me.

“But I was like that too, Ryuuko.” Alesia’s singsong voice was perfectly pitched, more musical than an orchestra of heaven’s songbirds. Of course, that was to be expected of someone who had taken on the appearance of an otome game’s protagonist.

Even so, her jarringly sweet voice was laced with traces of melancholy, a stark dichotomy between Alesia’s personality and the character that her face depicted. It was impossible not to notice, and I thought that it gave her an elegant—albeit lonely—depth compared to the character that she had stolen.

“I was like that too... Every day, I questioned whether or not there really was a point in living.” Alesia’s eyes misted slightly as she recalled the memories of her past life. Unlike Antenora, she wasn’t reborn into a different body nor did her skills and statistics become reset. She’d used up one of her wishes solely for that purpose after all.

“Villainess Rebirth was really the only thing that kept me going. Every time I saw Momoka’s face and her determination, I wanted to do it right... Just like Momoka.” Alesia laughed, but it was a laugh devoid of any humor. “And look where that got me, right? I ended up dying not once, but twice.”

I pressed my lips together in a thin line. Normally, anyone else would’ve said something comforting to ease Alesia’s melancholy memories that were resurfacing. I’m sure Antenora would’ve done a great job at it.

But not me. It wasn’t as if I didn’t want to try. I mean, I was pretty much the only person in the world who could really understand the world that she experienced. But it was that very reason which prevented me from reaching my hand out to her.

I simply couldn’t tell her that it was alright, or that things would get better. Not when there wasn’t a single light left behind in that world. I couldn’t give her hope, only to take it away like that cruel god.

But... Right now, we weren't in that world anymore. Right now, we were here, in a world that was full of brightly shining stars even in the vast darkness, struggling to cast their light into the black expanse and refusing to be consumed by cruelty.

“Then we’ve just gotta make sure there won’t be a third time, right?” I grinned. “We won’t lose to that bastard again. Not while I’m here.”

“Is that so...” Alesia seemed to lighten up slightly, but she was unconvinced.

“It’s not that I’m different from everyone. Far from it, honestly. I might’ve been able to match you in a fight, but I’m far weaker than everyone else. I hate admitting that, but it’s simply something that I’ve had to come to terms with.” I shrugged, as if resigning myself to some invisible fate.

“You are... hardly someone I would call weak, Ryuuko. Even in that dismal world we came from, you lasted much longer than I did...”

“So what? I gave up in the end, and all I ever did was curse everything around myself. Maybe I could’ve made something of myself despite my situation, or maybe I was already doomed from the start. It doesn’t matter, does it, Alesia? The past is behind us now. The only thing we can look toward is the future.”

Alesia remained silent for a few moments before she spoke once more. “Is that why you can be so confident, even against that ‘God’? Because you aren’t stuck in the past like... like I was?”

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I laughed, causing Alesia’s brow to crease in a frown.

If only I was that strong...

“I wish that was true, Alesia. No, what makes me feel like I’m able to win is much, much sillier,” I smiled as she regarded me with a curious expression. “I’ll win because all my friends believe in me, so I can’t possibly let them down now, can I?”

Honestly, I never thought such cheesy words would come out of my mouth, but I suppose if even someone as bitter as I was could change for the better, then even that god who had created such a dismal world could be defeated.

Alesia nodded as if agreeing. “Then I hope you don’t mind if I place my faith in you too, Ryuuko. I... never thought that you would be the one to destroy the Black Constellation. I thought you were my enemy at first, but to think we’d be working toward the same goal.”

I shook my head. It had been rather surprising for me to find out that Alesia had actually been the one who was behind the Black Constellation and a whole slew of other problematic organizations that had been wreaking havoc throughout both the eastern and western halves of the nation.

It was a discovery that was as abrupt as one might think it was, but there was no point in dwelling upon Alesia’s mistakes.

She looked me in the eye now, and I could feel the air grow taut like a bowstring, drawn but unreleased. Instinctively, I knew that this was the real reason why she had come here to speak with me alone.

Even sharing the story of her past life was only secondary to what she was about to say.

“There exists a shrine in the very center of the western half of the continent, where the borders of all three western nations meet,” Alesia began. “Even in antiquity, it was said to have been dedicated to any deity within the pantheon. A sort of ‘flexible’ shrine, if you will. However, the truth is that such a shrine is dedicated to the ‘God’ we seek.”

That shrine was the so-called “linchpin” of the world. A nail that held everything together and connected it to a higher realm where true deities resided. According to Alesia, it was the place where the Hero received the right to call upon the holy sword Clematis... and also the place where Alesia and Izmael had stood against that “God” for the very first time.

“The ritual I was preparing was a complex one, but it made use of individuals known as ‘Catalysts’, people who held the potential to become the next Demon Lord or Hero. I won’t go into the details, but it was ultimately only necessary because I could not locate Izm—I mean, Antenora.”

I nodded as Alesia continued her explanation. In short, all we had to do now was reach the shrine safely with her and Antenora in tow. From there, the two of them could invoke their leftover authorities and forcibly summon “God” to this plane.

Whatever happened after that would be up to fate.

“But before we do all that fancy stuff, we’ll have to somehow unite all of the nations, won’t we? Antenora said somethin’ about ‘God’ feedin’ off of hatred and shit, right?”

“Yes... That will be quite the challenge, especially because of me. I, uh, I’m sorry.”

“Nah, don’t worry about it. I’ve got two very capable people working on it as we speak,” I laughed.

Although my tone was light and carefree, a part of my heart couldn’t help but twinge in worry for the two that I’d given practically impossible tasks to.

Liandra, Radeca... I hope you’re doing fine out there.

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