I and My Husband Sleep in a Coffin

Chapter 24: CH 24


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The summoned being Zhen Bei said hello with an amiable face but Wen Feng Jin sneered back at him: “It’s you, you still dare to come back!” After finishing his sentence, he moved in and was about to kill Zhen Bei in one swipe.

Wang Xiao Mie quickly held him back and Zhen Bei frantically waved his hand and said anxiously: “This time I’m not here to steal from you. I’m here to pass along some secret information to you!”

Secret information?

Wang Xiao Mie blinked: “What do you mean?”

“Don’t listen to his nonsense. This person could even avoid Mu Er to enter this place, he is not that simple. Xiao Mie, stand aside, I don’t want you to get hurt. Trust me, I will clean this up swiftly.” Wen Feng Jin glared at Zhen Bei like a cold-blooded viper, but as he turned to pat Wang Xiao Mie on the head, his eyes soothed as he tried to coax him with gentleness.

By now, Wang Xiao Mie was already familiar with the ruthlessness beneath his gentleness. The ‘clean this up swiftly’ he mentioned was the kind that won’t even leave a single strand of hair behind!

“Mu Er? Who is that?” Zhen Bei waved his hand and said: “Let’s not talk about that first! Listen to me! I really came to repay your kindness. I have important news to tell you! And you guys are the owners of this tomb who have laid dormant for more than thousands of years, right? Hah ha. When I told my brother what happened, he speculated that you both are the ones depicted in the inscription. You are the Shi Xiong who died in the struggle for the elixir and you must be the dark lord who decided to perish with his Shi Xiong.”

He pointed at Wang Xiao Mie, then to Wen Feng Jin, and finally, rubbed his nose with pride.

“But I’m not afraid of big dumplings and Xiao Mie doesn’t look like a bad guy to me. You saved my brother so I owed you this debt. Now, there’s this jerkface who has been threatening my brother to organize an expedition to dig up your tomb. There’s not much else I can do but the very least, I should inform you about it!”

“Perish for love? ….Dark Lord?” Wang Xiao Mie looked up at Wen Feng Jin’s back.

Wen Feng Jin turned stiff. He coughed lightly and said: “Those inscriptions are carved with nonsense, do not believe it.”

Such a grand mausoleum, how can anyone inscribe nonsense about it? Wang Xiao Mie sighed and covered his head. Forget it. After reading the diary, it was obvious this thing had grown up to be crooked.

And what concerned Wang Xiao Mie was the news that Zhen Bei just broke to them. He grabbed Wen Feng Jin’s hand and asked Zhen Bei: “What is this big news you’re talking about? Who is going to dig up our grave? And why is that you could fall in front of me with such accuracy…”

And I thought I managed to obtain some ridiculous summoning magic.

Wen Feng Jin stood between the two of them. When Wang Xiao Mie held his hand, he hesitated but did not push away the cold hands. He stared icily at Zhen Bei and commanded: “Answer my Shixiong’s question, you little thing.”

“Little thing?” Zhen Bei’s eyes bulged out and he pointed at himself, “I’m twenty-four!”

Wang Xiao Mie rolled his eyes: “I’m over one thousand three hundred. He is also over one thousand three hundred. With our age alone, we are qualified to be museum exhibits.”

Zhen Bei: “…..”

“… fine then.” Zhen scratched his head and moved towards them slightly, “Actually I…”

“Do not come any closer!” Wen Feng Jin gave him a menacing stare, “Unless you want your head and limbs to be located in different places.”

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Graverobbers are insidious and cunning by nature. A desperate man does not mean he is not dangerous.

Throughout the thousand years in the tomb palace, several men had indeed managed to infiltrate the depths of the tomb. When they were caught by Wen Feng Jin, they did not hesitate to throw away their dignity and begged for their lives. However, once he relaxed his guard, they would seize any opportunity to fight back. They would even use their companions as bait to kill the creatures guarding the tomb.

Zhen Bei looked at Wen Feng Jin staring at him with an ice-cold and poisonous expression and his neck froze as sweat dripped from his forehead. He was nervous to the point of suffocating.

That’s a zombie! One that had lived for more than a thousand years. The last time, he tried to strangle him without any hesitation! The trauma from almost being killed by Wen Feng Jin made his legs numb by just staring at his weird black eyes.

But …

Zhen Bei thought of his purpose. He swallowed his saliva and moistened his coarse throat due to the tension. With a stiff smile, he said: “I truly do not mean you any harm… If you don’t believe me, I can throw my backpack away!”

After hearing his words, Wen Feng Jin continued to stare daggers at Zhen Bei and sneered at his silly and bright smile: “Good, then you’d better get rid of your coat, the dagger in your boot, and also the talismans under your clothes.”

“….. Damn, how did you know this?!” Zhen Bei immediately covered his chest. It was a confession without much interrogation.

Wen Feng Jin seized the chance to make a mockery: “Xiao Mie, you see, these graverobbers are shameless. You shouldn’t believe their lies.” 

Wang Xiao Mie chuckled: “Feng Jin, let’s just hear him out.”

Wen Feng Jin snorted softly. He turned and continued to stare at Zhen Bei with impatience.

Wang Xiao Mie yawned: “Buddy, please hurry. I have to go back to sleep. We didn’t close our coffin lid just now. It’s really annoying if any strange bugs were to enter.

“….no…. Someone is coming to dig your grave and you’re going to bed?!”

“Otherwise? Do you know how many people come here in a year? If it was possible for me to collect entrance fees, I would’ve set up a tourist attraction spot ok?” You could tell how frequent their visits were by looking at the mountain of bags left by them in the side hall!

Mu Er, the little sister who resembled a female water ghost, would give out a sobbing sound whenever there were intruders and Mu Yi would collect the bags and bring them to the side hall. He had now turned from a lizardman to a hoarding hamster!

“I have to say, did you guys read too many novels? Why don’t you guys find a decent job instead of disturbing others’ graves? And most of you guys can’t even get past Mu Er to enter the inner chamber, why do you keep coming here and risk your lives? Isn’t it foolish?”

Every time he was woken up by the Mu Er alarm and prepared himself for a battle with the graverobbers, Wen Feng Jin would only appease him and said: “Go back to sleep, Mu Er had already dealt with the problem.”

Wang Xiao Mie stared at Zhen Bei and said: “Attacks on a game’s dungeon boss is not even as diligent as you guys.”

Zhen Bei listened to his complaints and could only scratch his head and said timidly: “That’s only because you guys have so many precious things here.”

Wang Xiao Mie said in resentment: “Nonsense, we don’t have anything precious here. You guys on the surface can watch TV and surf the net. When you’re hungry you can even order takeout!”

What about us? We don’t have internet or even a mobile phone. We’re still using candles as lighting! We can’t even have proper meals and have to scavenge leftovers from equipment bags. Sob~ 

“You, you even know how to use the internet…”

“Of course! I’m a dumpling who knows how to keep up with the times.”

“Oh…. but with the fish pearls you have, you should be able to have a good life if you sell them.”

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“…..”

“…..”

Wang Xiao Mie and Zhen Bei looked at each other in envy. 

Alas, one man’s trash is another’s treasure. If Wen Feng Jin was not standing in between, they would have given each other a consolation hug.

“How about I give you the stuff and you can sell it for money and place cell towers on the mountain above us. Oh and also send me some generators and the likes….”

“Alright! I can also get you some snacks online!” 

“Buddy, you’re a good person!”

“Hehe you’re welcome. Let’s add our WeChat.”

“Ok…. I don’t have a phone.”

“Ha…. don’t worry, I’ll bring you one the next time I come.”

“Good brother!”

Just as the two were about to get close and give each other a brotherly hug, Wen Feng Jin pulled Wang Xiao Mie’s back collar with a blackened face. With a smile and gritted teeth, he called: “Shi, Xiong!”

Wang Xiao Mie realized that he had gone off-topic due to his excitement. And Zhen Bei who was very natural in front of Wang Xiao Mie also saw Wen Feng Jin’s grimacing look. He took a step back in silence as his danger radar was ringing intensely.

Wang Xiao Mie obediently gave Wen Feng Jin a sweet smile and blinked twice, trying to sell meng. Wen Feng Jin snorted coldly but his complexion was much more at ease: “Do not talk about irrelevant things.”

“Ok, I know!”

Wang Xiao Mie stuck out his tongue at him. He was less vigilant against Zhen Bei and after talking for a while, they went back to the main topic.

“Firstly, how did you get past Mu Er and entered this place? I haven’t seen anyone who could enter here lately. And why is it always when I’m using the toilet that you would appear?”

Zhen Bei scratched his head in embarrassment: “I have not seen the Mu Er that you mentioned but while walking in here, I did feel someone following me. When I turned back, there was no one there. But as I walked on, something suddenly came at me and I took off. I arrived at a strange place and thought I was going to die when I realized that this was the same place I got separated from my brother the last time! So I searched for the mechanism which I had accidentally touched before and here I am!”

“Heh heh, I did not expect my luck to be this good. I thought I’ll have to walk a long way but I met you guys as soon as I got down here. After all, this time, I’m mentally prepared to die here!”

“…..”

Wang Xiao Mie was expressionless listening to his words. He looked at Wen Feng Jin: “Do you believe him?”

Wen Feng Jin looked at the trap door and said: “This chamber and the latrines inside were constructed by the builders of the tomb palace. There is a possibility that they not only built the latrines but also made an escape route. Mu Er may have tried to finish him off by herself and did not sound the alarm. But she did not expect him to fall into a trap and most likely assumed he was dead so she did not pursue.”

Wen Feng Jin thought of something else and told him with a little annoyance: “After your death, I have met people like him. I can’t completely defeat them nor can I kill them no matter how many times I tried. It seemed bad luck would always befall them but they would always prevail and come out a winner with some twists of fate!”

“…..”

That’s… you’re probably describing a protagonist….

What the….

Wang Xiao Mie looked at Zhen Bei: “Buddy, this luck of yours contradicts your name!”

Zhen Bei scratched his head shyly: “Hehe, it’s no big deal.”

“This time I’m here because one week from now, that jerkface is coming here to dig up your graves…..”

Next, Zhen Bei explained to them in earnestly:

His family had been in the antiquity business for generations. They specialized in appraising artifacts and had accumulated a good reputation and a lot of wealth over the years. They were a well-known family in the antique circle.

And their eldest son was particularly gifted in this aspect. His eyes could see the authenticity of an item even without the use of equipment! One day, a jerkface gentleman paid him a visit and showed him a wooden box. When he opened the box, poisonous smoke shot into his eyes and rendered him blind. 

They wanted to catch the guy but his brother stopped them. In turn, the jerkface gave them a copy of the map to the inner palace of this tomb, telling them where to find the fish pearls.

The last time, he came here secretly with his second brother and a group of their comrades. He was lucky to have met Wang Xiao Mie, a little dumpling who bore no malice towards humans and also received the treasured fish pearls from him.

When he returned and retold the situation to them, both his brother and the jerkface was ecstatic. They asked him to repeat his story many times over.

They were particularly interested in Wang Xiao Mie and Wen Feng Jin’s appearance and whether they seemed human or just soulless beings.

Out of curiosity, he went to eavesdrop on his brother and found out that he had planned to enter the tomb with that jerkface.

Zhen Bei clenched his fist and said in a low voice: “My brother had been obsessed with precious antiques and mysteries of the catacombs since he was young. I only knew then that my brother had sent a lot of people into this tomb but none were successful. That was until that jerkface came to look for him!”

“I don’t know how he did it, but he managed to persuade my brother to join the expedition himself and gathered a large group of people. I heard that guy said he does not want any of the treasures. All he wants is the tomb master’s heart.”

Wang Xiao Mie: “…..”

Wang Xiao Mie squinted at Wen Feng Jin: “Explain yourself! Is it your peach blossom debt coming to knock on our door?!”

Wen Feng Jin: “…..”

Before Wen Feng Jin could explain, Zhen Bei corrected him: “It’s not that heart! It’s his literal heart! He wants to eat the heart of the immortal tomb master! It is said that eating it can give him the tomb master’s powers and eternal life!”

What the f**k! Digging out my man’s heart?!

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