Chapter 69: CH 70

Chapter 70 Bad choice

Wang Xiaomie and Wen Fengjin walked down the mountain hand in hand. Xiaomie opened the pickup truck’s front passenger seat door and got in.

"Bang."

The door was shut, and the trinkets on the dashboard rattled slightly.

Sitting in the co-pilot seat, Wang Xiaomie stretched and groaned: "Hey, let’s go back! I didn’t get to eat anything delicious living here this month. I had to nibble on black donkey hooves[1] everyday. Damn, my taste buds have died[2]!"

Bai Yu was originally depressed, but hearing this sentence made him laugh. "Why didn't you bring the coffin this time?" he wondered as he looked about.

"Oh, that! I forbade Wen Fengjin from bringing it," Wang Xiaomie said, rubbing the tip of his nose. "Why the hell does he need to bring a coffin with him when sleeping on a bed is so comfortable, right?"

"That's right." Bai Yu grinned, revealing a row of dazzling teeth.

Wang Xiaomie's eyes narrowed: "Da Bai, please don't smile so brightly at me. I'll think of black person toothpaste[3] as soon as you laugh."

"..." Bai Yu put away his smile, feeling wronged, and started the vehicle.

He stated, "I went to the supermarket and got a lot of goodies. You and Boss Wen can eat them on the road."

Wang Xiaomie's eyes lit up. He promptly reached inside the car seat side pocket and took out a hefty packet of food. The words XX Supermarket were emblazoned in large characters on the plastic bag.

He rummaged through it, pulling out various snacks: "A chocolate bar, pineapple cakes, spicy beef jerky, smoked sausages...wow, you got pickled chicken feet as well! Damn good, buddy!"

Wang Xiaomie fixed his gaze gravely on Bai Yu, who was driving.

"Don't worry, Da Bai. I'll take care of your whitening masks for the rest of the year!"

"..." Bai Yu struggled hard, "No, I'm not dark."

Wang Xiaomie sighed in sorrow and shook his head as he observed Bai Yu's refusal to admit the truth. "Alright, fine. You're not dark; you have simply reached the level of absorbing sunlight. It's no surprise that I don't feel particularly hot next to you."

"..."

Biu~ A knife steadily penetrated Bai Yu’s heart, causing him to choke silently. Bai Yu, you have to hold back. You mustn’t cry!

Wang Xiaomie was uninterested in the other snacks. He first unsealed the pickled chicken feet and beef jerky, then turned around and held the first piece to Wen Fengjin’s lips.

Wen Fengjin, who had planned to close his eyes and rest, glanced at the pale chicken feet oozing a spicy aroma in front of him and remained silent for a few moments without taking a bite.

Wang Xiaomie: "You don’t want it?"

Wen Fengjin: ...Disgusting.

Wang Xiaomie snorted coldly: "Do you realize how much love and value you need to embody to make a foodie let another have the first bite of their own food?"

Wen Fengjin: "......"

"Tut!" Wang Xiaomie snorted coldly, looking at Fengjin's raised brows and still closed mouth. "Okay then, don't eat. I'll offer it to Da Bai."

He withdrew his hand after speaking and presented it to Bai Yu.

But then his chicken feet-holding hand was caught, and the movement of pulling away came to a halt. Wang Xiaomie turned around and looked over. Wen Fengjin had lowered his head and was biting the chicken feet's upper half. The long, narrow eyes with black pupils that virtually filled the entire eye sockets looked bottom-up.

Wang Xiaomie stiffened when their gazes connected.

"Crunch."

The meat and bones of the chicken feet were chewed off with a crisp sound. Trapped in the man’s gaze, Wang Xiaomie felt as if Wen Fengjin had bitten his fingers.

Wen Fengjin's indifferent and gloomy eyes were as dark as the abyss, and Wang Xiaomie understood what he meant.

He was asking: Do you dare?

Wang Xiaomie: ...

Protect food! You don't eat it, and you don't allow others to eat it?!

Wang Xiaomie suddenly spun around holding the chicken feet, as if to say, "See if I care!" The fingers on the hand that was clutching the chicken feet remained numb.

He examined the bitten chicken feet and saw that Wen Fengjin had not bitten it at the joints, but rather from the bones, and the bones within were fragmented.

The 'crunch crunch' sounds of Wen Fengjin chewing bones sounded from behind.

Wang Xiaomie's hair stood on end.

...Who, who are you showing off those teeth to! I, I'm not scared!

He opened his mouth purposefully to chomp on the spot where Wen Fengjin had bitten, and ate numerous pieces. His mouth was on fire from the heat, and he was sucking in cold air. Bai Yu inquired at this time, "What's the matter with your neck, Xiaomie? Why is your throat red?"

Wang Xiaomie hesitated, remembering the location Wen Fengjin had sucked on when they were in the mountains. "Um... I was suffering from excessive internal heat yesterday, so I pinched it to reduce internal heat," he bluffed, a little embarrassed.

Wang Xiaomie clutched the pickled chicken feet in his hand and wanted to force it into Wen Fengjin's mouth when he heard a sneer from behind.

What are you laughing at! It wouldn't have been purple if you hadn't worked so hard, resulting in a red mark that hasn't healed yet!

Bai Yu said "oh" and continued driving. His voice was a touch shaky as he said: "Is it spicy? Have some water." Then he found the time to pass over the mineral water in his possession.

"Yeah, it's rather spicy." Wang Xiaomie grabbed the bottle and unscrewed the cap, raising his head to take a few mouthfuls of the water.

Bai Yu fixed his gaze on the road ahead. Hearing the sound of swallowing next to him, he squeezed the hand gripping the steering wheel reflexively. His palms were coated in cold sweat, and his fingers were stiff and cold from the tension, but he wasn't aware of it.

Wen Fengjin, who was sitting in the rear seat with his eyes closed, opened his eyes a chink, and when he saw this scenario, the corners of his mouth hooked up, and he closed his eyes again.

Shixiong, you lose.

Wang Xiaomie, the front passenger, bowed his head and screwed the cap back on the water bottle before continuing to munch on the chicken feet. Long strands of jet black hair hung down from his shoulders, forming a semicircle and concealing his expression.

Bai Yu's taut nerves relaxed as the water bottle was properly returned, and cold sweat trickled down his dark cheeks.

Wang Xiaomie glanced at him.

Bai Yu, in truth, was not at all ugly. He had large, round, deep-set eyes with double eyelids like a cat. He had typical facial traits, with a straight and small nose, and appeared delicate. His cheekbones were not angular. Rather, he had a round face and a pointy chin. His lips were full and had upturned sides.

He had messy black curly hair, and despite his dark skin, he had the liveliness and vitality of a cat, and he readily produced a favorable impression on people, making them feel that the more they looked, the better he appeared.

Facts had proven that dark and ugly were not always relevant.

Such a person was more distinct and impressive than the 'popular male god,' but how did he resemble Yi Yan in the end?

Is he aware...

"How are you and Yi Yan doing, Bai Yu?" Wang Xiaomie inquired.

For a brief moment, Bai Yu was stunned. He pursed his lips and seemed a little agitated before replying, "We... We're all right. He is my grandfather's disciple, so he takes good care of me."

"I now call him Teacher, but..."

You are reading story I and My Husband Sleep in a Coffin at novel35.com

He clutched the steering wheel fiercely, as though summoning courage. "But I like him! I, I'm already living with him at his place!" he said loudly after a few seconds.

Wang Xiaomie: "......"

Wen Fengjin: "......"

F*ck me!

Wang Xiaomie vigorously turned his head to look at Wen Fengjin, and was a little astonished to see that Wen Fengjin had raised his eyebrows as well.

He swallowed his spit and returned his gaze to Bai Yu. Bai Yu was coy, nervous, scared, and a bit shy, like a big boy who had revealed his romantic love to his family.

But that's besides the point!

The point is!

"How can you be with Yi Yan?! He admitted you are a couple?" Wang Xiaomie's three views were broken[4], and he felt as if his brain had crashed.

"He took fantastic care of me after you left. On that day, he invited me to stay in his home temporarily, and I conveniently — confessed. I believe he agreed." Bai Yu's sad face creased, "I know you have a bad relationship with him... But..."

"That isn’t why..." Wang Xiaomie had a headache and interrupted him, "It’s because..."

"Xiaomie."

Wang Xiaomie turned around when he heard Wen Fengjin abruptly call him, and found that the Demon Lord's evil smile was overflowing with charm.

"It's interesting, isn't it? We'll just remain quiet about their affairs."

Bai Yu had no idea what Wen Fengjin meant. His face was awfully grateful, thinking he was speaking for himself.

But Wang Xiaomie knew.

Wen Fengjin's point was that this must be an accident caused by misunderstandings, but Yi Yan was in an antagonistic relationship with them, so why not see a joke if they could?

Oh dear...

Wang Xiaomie glanced at the bottle of water he drank just now, swallowing the words on the tip of his tongue, and he didn't say anything very clearly in the end, "The thing is, you have to be very careful while looking for a partner. Everyone has their own preferences..."

However, some people begin by choosing what should not be chosen.

Bai Yu did not speak, but nodded silently.

No one said a word for the rest of the journey, and it seemed awkward to talk about anything after Yi Yan was involved.

The trio ultimately returned to the suburban villa area two and a half days later.

Wang Xiaomie's expression improved after returning to his own territory, and a smile appeared on his face. He stretched his stiffened waist after sitting in the truck and said to Bai Yu, "Thanks for your trouble. Hurry to your room and lie down for a while. Fengjin and I will also go upstairs to freshen up."

"There's no need. I'm...going back to Yi Yan's place," Bai Yu said, waving his hand like a pendulum, frowning and lowering his head to avoid his gaze.

"........."

When a son grows up, his mother is no longer able to make decisions for him. Bai Yu bent his head in shame as he heard Wang Xiaomie sigh. He wished to defect from the organization and run into the arms of the wild man[5].

The villa's entrance opened and closed. Wen Fengjin stood behind Wang Xiaomie, his lips slowly lifting as he glanced at the closed door.

"Don't think about it." Wen Fengjin retracted his gaze.

Wang Xiaomie quivered when an ice-cold palm brushed his nape. That hand pinched his chin and forced him to turn before he could react.

"Don't look at it anymore," Wen Fengjin said in displeasure. "I'm tired. Accompany me upstairs to rest in the coffin."

Wang Xiaomie had intended to shove him away, but was stunned when he heard these remarks. His brows rose and his lips bent the following instant. "Hehehe, a coffin? You forgot we didn't bring the coffin? Hahaha."

Wen Fengjin: "..."

Wang Xiaomie shoved him aside and ran upstairs, laughing wildly.

"Simmons[6], here I come! Aroo!"

… … …

"Did you drug the water?" Yi Yan asked, narrowing his eyes: "Are you sure he drank it?"

The first floor of the retro-styled building was bathed in a warm yellow light. Xiao An was seated in the corner, silently toying with something. Bai Yu's head drooped low, and after a lengthy pause, he mumbled "mn."

Yi Yan's pupils glowed with intense excitement and joy. He softly reassured Bai Yu by holding his hand, "You’ve done well. Thank you for everything you have done for me. Don't worry, I will avenge Teacher Bai Cheng!"

"Did I make a mistake?" Bai Yu abruptly remarked.

"Of course not." Yi Yan frowned and added, "We are doing all this to rid the world of the drought demon and to eliminate hidden threats to humanity’s future safety. They are all monsters outside the rules and shouldn't exist in the world in the first place."

Bai Yu didn't say a word, and Yi Yan’s expression softened.

"We are not wrong. Even if there is any problem, I swear I’ll stand in front of you."

After speaking, he hugged the glum Bai Yu firmly, slightly swaying his body, his palms soothing his back like a kid.

"You did well... you did very well..."

Bai Yu wrapped his arms about Yi Yan's neck, his tightly closed eyelashes twitching, his lips gently smiling unseen by Yi Yan, his slender eyes shimmering with a mysterious light.

You did very well.

Really well! Warm baby is extremely caring[7].

Footnotes:

[1] According to legend, a black donkey hoof can keep zombies at bay. The tomb palace must have a ton of these hooves from all the dead raiders. I believe WFJ and WXM ate black donkey hoof hotpot in Chapter 8/9. It's a rather bizarre myth. You can read the Baidu entry for black donkey hooves here.

[2] According to what I read on Baidu: "Water Margin" hero Lu Zhishen uses the foul words 嘴巴都淡出鸟了(a bird can fade out of mouth!) It means that the mouth has no taste. As you may know, bird is modern slang for penis. It sounds strange in English, so I rephrased it to try to convey the meaning. Please leave a comment if you know how to say it better.

[3] 黑人 牙膏: Chinese name for the brand Darkie toothpaste. It was renamed Darlie starting March 2022. It's an interesting read so make sure you read the Wikipedia entry.

[4] Humorous way of saying WXM was shocked. Titbit: Three views stand for one's world view (世界觀), values of worth (價值觀), and philosophy on life (人生觀).

[5] Not like Tarzan, y'all. It's someone whose thoughts and actions are unruly. The polar antithesis of a gentleman.

[6] Refers to the mattress manufactured by the Simmons Bedding Company.

[7] 暖宝宝很贴心. I thought this was a meme, but it's not. I'm not sure what it means, so I've translated it literally.

Translator:

Ahhh…. I believe I've figured out who Yi Yan is! You're screwed, Bai Yu. The author has an unhealthy obsession for white skin...

If you enjoy the xianxia genre, I totally recommend "Love Between Fairy and Devil." It's 36 episodes long, and I loooove the first half. Great CGI, and the music is fantastic. I watched the ones subbed by iQIYI and I have to say the English subtitles suck big time. You can wait for Netflix to catch up. Hopefully, they will improve on the subtitles. I've just finished watching this. You should give it a go!!

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