Yernia couldn’t fall asleep easily. What she heard in the afternoon was quite shocking. Cassian, who left the operation meeting, hadn’t returned yet so she couldn’t sleep. She wasn’t calm enough to sleep in an emergency. Hugging her knees up, Yernia turned her head to the sound of the tent being lifted. Cassian was back and he came in with a cold countenance. He paused when he saw her.
“Why aren’t you sleeping yet?”
Relief flashed across his face.
“How can I sleep? I’m worried about you.”
“Worrying doesn’t change anything. You just need to be comfortable. There’s no reason for you to care when you’re neither an Esper nor a soldier.” Cassian spoke gently but Yernia just couldn’t let go of her concerns in a snap of a finger. That was why she was worried about the snatched soldier for fear that Cassian would be next since he would be the one to who would fight against the demon.
“What else can I do if I’m worried about you? What am I supposed to do if something goes wrong———”
She wanted to go with him but she knew it was impossible. Yernia couldn’t even ask him to take her because she knew she would grab Cassian’s ankle for no reason. Cassian approached to cover Yernia’s cheeks with both hands as she sat on the bed. His hands were cold since he came from outside before coming in. Cassian’s touch calmed her mind a little.
“I won’t leave you here just to die.”
“…….”
“I won’t even get hurt. So don’t worry about me.”
“I promise.” Cassian reassured her seriously. He wasn’t joking around like he would usually do in the past and it made her anxious but relieved. Yes. Cassian was going to be fine because he was the strongest Esper she had known.
“Promise me that you’ll not worry while I’m gone.”
Yernia held his ring finger tightly before letting it go. Cassian rolled her eyes and smiled, messing with Jena’s hair. Yernia held his hands tightly before releasing them. The corner of Cassian’s eyes crinkled as he chuckled and shook Yernia’s hair.
***
“Will Cassian be alright?”
Being alone in the barracks reminded her too much of Cassian and she was afraid that her head might explode. However, she thought it would be better to go to the treatment center and help rather than sit still. Yernia did exactly that and assisted as much as she could, changing old beddings and checking the patients’ conditions. While spending time like that, Yernia thought of Cassian. She was worried about him. She didn’t even know how much time had passed but night had already fallen and Yernia had to return to the barracks. It wasn’t that strange to sleep without Cassian but she felt more empty every night whenever he wasn’t next to her. Outside, Captain Felix and another knight who had drank with Yernia in the past were guarding the exit. She felt confident while looking at the young men’s silhouettes reflected on the tent but on the other hand, she also felt uneasy as she wondered if the situation was really that dangerous.
‘Please let him come back safe and sound.’ Yernia prayed to God. Come to think of it. It had been a while since she last prayed. Unlike her family, she didn’t believe in God very much so she must have felt desperate enough to do it.
“Would you like a snack, My Lady? My junior bought quite a few.”
Worried that Yernia was getting bored since she hadn’t taken a step out of the barracks, Captain Felix asked from outside the tent. “No, it’s alright.”
She appreciated his offer but she felt too guilty eating snacks while Cassian was risking his life. Yernia’s goal was to remain here so that she wouldn’t get in trouble. How bittersweet! Before marrying Cassian, she only lived in the mansion so she had never encountered this kind of situation. Yernia also knew how to take care of herself at that time. To her, not doing anything felt too strange so she wanted to be helpful somehow, but she didn’t think it was going to work. She unwillingly became a hostage. She even got a hole in her ship and even lost her way.
‘I didn’t want to bother anyone.’
It was true that the battlefield was brutal. Still, Yernia wanted to help more than she could. It was time to think about the best method to do it.
“My Lady! My Lady!”
There was a sudden commotion outside and Yernia wasn’t the only lady there. There was an aristocrat among other guides whom she had met but hadn’t talked to yet. Some of them married Espers so who were they referring to? Yernia stopped sewing the old, torn, and worn-out blankets at the treatment center and held the needle up to listen.