Chapter 33: Expectations

When Amber woke up, she was already in the school infirmary. Laying on the bed with the curtains beside her. She squinted and blinked her eyes, and then a sleeping figure immediately greeted her.

Julie was sleeping on the side of her bed, and it seems like the girl looked out for her the whole time. Amber wasn't amused nor thankful. She gripped the blanket and panicked.

These actions woke up Julie. She was surprised to see Amber was finally fine.

"Amber! Are you okay now?" she was about to check on her when the other girl slapped her hand away.

"Don't touch me!" Amber snarled at her.

Julie's eyes immediately widened, and she recalled what had just happened earlier. She backed away. "Calm down, I'm not going to hurt you.." she said in a gentle tone.

Her words did not even please Amber. The person she didn't want to see and thought that she got betrayed by her was in front of her eyes. The one who helped her is this person. "I told you to stay away from me."

Julie knew it was possible. However, she's the only one who knew Amber well. They were friends for almost half a year now. She knew why Amber was acting like this and why she had an attack earlier.

She couldn't just leave her in the hallways like that. She already excused herself to look out for Amber. The school nurse wasn't around either, so it was a little inconvenient before she left her.

Before she could speak, Amber grabbed her. "Are you the one who did it?!! Did you purposely carved those stupid shits on my desk?!" she exclaimed. Recalling all the things she saw on her desk that she couldn't even set foot in her class.

Julie was taken aback, and she gasped. "Amber, what are you talking about? You know I will never do such horrible things to you," she explained herself.

"Liar!" Amber yelled, scumbling on the bed like a kid. "I don't want to hear anything from you anymore! I said I don't want to see your face!" she started to feel suffocated again. "I hate you! I hate you so much! You are the same! You and Sam!! Every—"

Her eyes widened as soon as she was enveloped in an embrace. She suddenly calmed down and remained in a daze.

"Amber.." Julie whispered, brushing the girl's hair. "Please stop suffering. I don't want to see you like this." she swallowed the lump in her throat. "It's hurting me.." she let out a heavy breath and bit her lower lip.

Julie was there, and she knew how Amber hated what she did, but she didn't do it for her own sake. It was a mistake for Amber to reflect. She was blinded by the thing she saw wrong in the world.

"Liar," the girl in her embrace mumbled. She clenched the blanket beside her and started to feel her chest getting heavier. Even though she wanted to push Julie, her hands won't move. She was frozen to where she was right now.

If she wasn't in a state like this, Amber would laugh at herself. The way she looks so weak right now. Her hands were only trembling like a kid while being embraced like this. She hated this feeling. The feeling of attachment to people she's scared to trust.

Her eyes started to feel blurry and before she could realize. She was already crying, sobbing little by little. It's been so long since she saw herself crying like this. She held her emotions very well back then until now.

Amber thought that she was good at it. She thought that she's already numb from the pain she couldn't even let go. Why can't she let go, though? Is it because she was guilty? Regretting?

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If there were things she wanted to regret, it was the time when she met Sam.

Yes, it was the time when she's still fragile like a kid. She grew up around her like they were siblings. She trusted her so much that she looked up to her when Sam became the best archer in their school.

Everyone loves Sam and adores her. She became a role model to those who still wanted to achieve their dreams, including Amber.

She was content, actually, to be Sam's shadow. She will never step forward because she was scared that she might exceed more than Sam or fail to the very bottom.

Amber took archery with her childhood friend. Sam even explained everything to her father just to get permission.

She never liked sports so much the way she liked archery. For Amber, doing the things she likes next to Sam was a blissful feeling. It calms her heart and caresses her soul.

But sometimes, you don't need to expect something in return. The fewer expectations you have, the more you will ignore disappointments.

"Amber, is it true that you stole the gold place from Sam?"

"Right, they said that she should be the one who won, but you tried to interfere in her final blow"

"I thought you two were best friends? You're always following her"

"Aren't you content to be her shadow that you desperately stole the spotlight for her?"

"It will be more fun if she's the one who won"

"Do you really have a talent for archery?"

The expectations from those words made her disappointed. Why? She's just only doing the thing she loves.

That day, Amber felt that her whole world turned its back to her. The first time she felt real pain that made its way through her heart, piercing a big hole that can't never be filled again.

The person Amber was expecting to take her side and covered those lies around her was the first one who turned her back from her.

"Amber, I didn't know that you're this desperate to surpass me. You know that I badly want to win the competition. Why? Are you envious? You should just have stayed at my back like a shadow for the rest of your life."

"How pathetic,"

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