Chapter 36: Guilt And Regrets

Athasia was surprised to see Julie crying on Evelyn's shoulders. Are these two related to each other? The woman mentioned a while ago that she had a daughter.

"Athasia."

The young miss went back to her thoughts and blinked. Evelyn asked her to get a glass of water for Julie, which she immediately did.

When the three of them settled on the table, facing each other. The woman started to talk to Julie. She gave her a tissue for her tears and asked her to calm down and no need to rush. However, instead of calming down, the girl once again cried.

"She's still blaming herself for what happened,"

Evelyn gasped, showing that she was taken aback. She held Julie's hands, which were on the table. She pressed a warmth into it and looked at the girl in the eyes. "We both know that Sam wasn't blaming her, right?" her tone calmed the girl a little. Her eyes became sad and her grip tightened.

Julie sniffled again. "Auntie, please talk to her. I know it's still not that long, but I can't bear to see Amber like that anymore," her voice cracked.

"Amber?" Athasia mumbled. She got surprised by hearing the familiar name.

Julie shifted her gaze to the young miss. She went back to her senses that Athasia was also there. Julie wiped her eyes and lowered her head. "I know what Aber did was wrong, but believe me. She had reasons for being like this." she shrugged. "I know it's unforgivable, but—"

Athasia cut her off and placed her palm on shoulder. "I understand," she said.

Though she was really into sympathy for Amber, she didn't know that being inside her novel would lead her to some decisions. She thought that reality was different from fiction. She thought that her emotions would not get into her in this world.

Littleyoonie admitted that she was annoyed at Amber the moment she met the girl. She was already annoyed at her from bullying her female lead. But she can't put all the blame on Amber since she was the one who made her like this.

In her novel, she only put there that Amber was abandoned by her childhood best friend and because of that, she started to act this way. She didn't even put as much details about Julie.

Athasia was slowly realizing that maybe this is the real world. Or maybe when she entered her novel and decided to make a change, it affected not only her female lead, but also the other characters.

'But I only wanted to make a character development for the female lead, though!' she exclaimed in her mind.

"Where's Amber right now?" Evelyn broke her deep thinking.

Julie turned back to the woman. "She's still at school." she replied. "I heard from one of my classmates that you will open the Atelier again and was going to stop by. That's why I came here and gathered all the courage to make a request." she stood up and clasped the woman's hand.

"I know you're still not ready to face her, but I'm begging you! I want both of you to have a peace of mind,"

Evelyn saw how sincere Julie's eyes were. She stood up and smiled. "Can you wait for us for a minute?"

Julie's eyes were elated with relief that she got teary again. She patiently waited for the two. She also asked Athasia to go with them, so the young miss followed, too.

All of them didn't even say a single word on their way back to school. Just walking in the hallways was enough to give Evelyn some memories she couldn't erase. It was the time when her daughter was still with them.

They reached the nurse's office.

Amber was still there, she was contemplating if she would call her driver or not. She didn't even want to set foot because she was scared that some student might see her and gossip about her. She was sitting on the bed with her dazed face. Grasping the blanket with her shaking fingers.

The quiet atmosphere and the view of the setting sun were giving some uncomfortable vibes to her.

"A–Amber?"

The moment Amber turned her head to the one who called her name, she froze. The familiar face, wearing a worried expression in her eyes, made her flinch.

The woman didn't hesitate to approach Amber and hugged her. Evelyn's eyes teared up while brushing the girl's back. Hearing the words from Julie was enough to notice what's wrong. "Amber, my dear. How have you been?"

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Amber was speechless until the hug was finished. She wasn't even prepared to face the woman. She didn't know what to do after Sam's funeral, which she didn't even attend because of her guilt.

She wanted to ask the woman so many questions. After that day, she lost contact with them and decided to not open or talk to them.

Amber trembled, and she found this shattering pain ripping her heart open as if it would fall out of her ribcage.

"I—I don't.." her voice cracked.

"I don't deserve this," she hugged her arms. "Please leave me–alone,"

However, Evelyn didn't budge. She admitted that she still couldn't get over by mourning over her daughter, just like Amber. She also has a lot of regrets and guilt inside her.

"You don't need to run away." She said, lifting Amber's hands so that the girl will look at her. "I know it's not your fault,"

Amber's lips turned downward and soon her tears fell on her cheeks. "A-Auntie.." she stammered and by that, the words she wanted to say also let out.

"Auntie, I'm sorry. I just couldn't accept the truth. Why did she need to leave me like that? I wanted to talk to her and apologized. How will I be able to do it when she's not coming back anymore? I don't want to believe it."

Sobs.

"Sam is still here. I don't want to accept her death because I'm a coward. I'm so selfish that I didn't even consider her feelings that day. Auntie..I killed her. It was me–who killed her, right?"

The reason she didn't attend the funeral was because the event that happened that day was hunting her in her nightmares. She didn't want to believe that it was her fault. She blamed and locked herself up in the room until Sam's funeral was over.

Amber didn't even know how she managed to stand up again. Maybe it was because of the medications she's been taking.

Evelyn wiped the girl's tears. "Amber, listen to me. It's not your fault." She knew, because she watched this girl grow close to her daughter. The three of them had a lot of happy memories.

"Sam will never like the way you are doing now. My daughter will never blame you. I know it, because she was my child." She smiled bitterly, nearly crying too. "She's always telling me how lucky she is to have you, so please don't suffer anymore.."

Amber looked at the woman, who stood by her side like a mother, too. For all the times that her father couldn't attend any ceremonies, Evelyn went for her. They were on her side, including Sam, and yet she was here, thinking that she was the only one hurting.

"Auntie. I'm sorry!!"

Her arms moved on their own and hugged the woman. She buried her head on Evelyn's shoulders and apologized over and over again.

Meanwhile, Athasia, who was standing at the door beside Julie, witnessed everything. Silence occupied her mind.

"Sam, was Amber's friend since childhood,"

Julie's words made the young miss turn to her. "Why are you telling me this?" Athasia asked.

"I want to apologize for everything Amber has done, but I guess doing that wasn't enough." A languid smile stretched across Julie's face. "I know it's hard to believe, but she was also a victim of her youth. I'm doing this not because I pity Amber…I'm doing this because I was once bullied before and she saved me."

Julie's eyes weren't lying when Athasia looked her in the eyes. She was surprised because she didn't write this in her novel. It wasn't included and now it's all making her think that everything is really changing.

"I know you're surprised," Julie continued. "Sam was once Amber's light. The light that gave her dreams and achievements. Auntie was Sam's mother. I asked her to talk to Amber because she thought that she's the only one hurting and carrying all this burden."

Athasia tilted her head and stared blankly at the school ceiling. "Sometimes, this guilt inside you will turn you into a monster,"

"...but what happened to Sam?"

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