Chapter 18: 18

18 – This is the last chance (2)

 

“Alright.”

 

She said to me that she will trust me, which means the situation is not completely hopeless.

 

'Haa, This is my last chance, and I will definitely use it well'

 

I laughed self-deprecatingly, then spoke to her again.

 

“From now on, I will prove it to you with my actions.”

 

I said that and took Adilun’s hand and led her to the ballroom. She was drawn to me with a very weak appearance as if she was sorting out her confused emotions.

 

In the ballroom, the dancing was still going on, I didn’t want to be here because I felt disgusted by the sight of each of them hiding their ugliness and standing proudly under the light, because it was like seeing my former self in them.

 

“What do you want to do?”

 

“… …I want to rest. Will you take me?”

 

With a weak voice, she asked me.

 

“Yes.”

 

 I led her to her room and told her while walking.

 

“I heard that there is a hunting competition starting tomorrow.”

 

“Eww...”

 

She trembled with a disgusted look on her face.

 

“Why is that?”

 

“I'm tired just by hearing about it. What should I do?”

 

“You probably won’t go to the hunt. I don’t know the details, but women just gather and talk… It is said that it is mostly men who actually do the hunting.”

 

“Haaa...”

 

Adilun’s expression changed as if she was screaming in desperation and despair. And I could easily guess why. It must be that she doesn’t even want to be involved in the stories and gossips of the princesses.

 

“Are you okay?”

 

“No. Not okay at all. Phew…”

 

“Then, why don’t you say you’re not feeling well and take a break?”

 

“Nope. I can’t do that, and definitely not in an imperial event.”

 

“Then… …How about going to hunt together?”

 

At my words, Adilun instantly raised her head and asked me.

 

“Going together?”

 

“Yes. I’ve heard that it doesn’t matter that even female nobles participate in hunting competitions if they want to.”

 

“Aha.”

 

As if realizing something, Adilun looked at me and said.

 

“Yes. Let's go together. I would rather be with you than spend all day with the princesses who keep asking me about you.”

 

“Do the princesses ask about me?”

 

“Yes. They were very interested in you because of your good looks.”

 

“Is that true?”

 

“Yes. To be honest, they ask me about you to the point of being very tired.”

 

“This...”

 

To be honest, it was quite embarrassing, so I didn't say anything but she looked at me with a puzzled face and said.

 

“I have no idea what you are thinking about. It’s not your fault that you’re good-looking. But... ...Don’t go around and be bewitched by those innocent princesses. I have no intention of getting involved in a love affair.”

 

“I will keep that in mind.”

 

“By the way, do you have any experience in hunting?”

 

“In hunting… …I do not know. I think it’s hard to say that I can very well. But I don't think I'm too bad.”

 

“I see. Oh, we arrived at my room, I’ll go in now, and you should rest too.”

 

“Rest well, Adilun.”

 

After saying that, when I was about to leave, I suddenly felt like someone grabbing the hem of my clothes.

 

“Adilun?”

 

“Thank you for listening to my heart without laughing. At least I should say thank you for this. And don’t forget what I said earlier. Really, this is the last time. The last chance I can give you.”

 

Somehow, I thought she was cute, and I laughed spontaneously and told her.

 

“Of course, I will. I will work hard, Adilun.”

 

“… …What are you laughing at anyway, you should go to rest now too.”

 

Feeling a bit embarrassed, she said that and quickly opened the door and hid behind it.

 

Looking at that figure, and thinking she really is cute, I turned my back and started going to my room. While walking I was lost in thought.

 

She is too kind. To give me, who trampled her on her pride for no reason, a chance to correct my mistakes again, was something really hard to do for anyone. It's like letting her guard down again in front of old danger.

 

She also told me that she wants to walk a happy life with me. The fragments of hope she expressed were terribly heavy. Can I really do it?

 

I feel a little afraid. Do I deserve it? Even if I know I'm changed because of my previous life, but that old Physis was also me. All the things I did to her in the past year were by no means less than the people who insulted her at the venue.

 

I was not this weak In my previous life, even at the moment of facing death, I wasn’t so afraid.

 

I shouldn’t be like this. 

 

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I forcibly suppressed my fearful heart, made up my mind, and recalled a single resolution in my heart. The resolution of making Adilun happy.

 

The reason I was able to hold such a determination in my heart is probably possible because I am facing her in person now, unlike in my previous life, where I only faced her in text.

 

You don’t know how happy I am for that fact alone.

 

Perhaps this feeling would not be conveyed to Adilun for the rest of my life. But it didn’t matter.

 

I am satisfied with being able to witness her life and being able to face the hardships she is about to go through together.

 

Adilun, I will surely live for your happiness.

 

* * *

[Adilun's POV]

 

The moment I closed the door and entered, I lay down on the bed. And…

 

I kicked the blanket with my feet.

 

“OMG!!”

 

Feeling confused, I even said something that didn’t have to be said.

 

“What can I believe in him...”

 

My face was hot. What kind of embarrassing things am I talking about? On the subject of saying that I don’t trust him that much.

 

But even so, my inside was relieved. As I brushed off the emotions that had been lingering on me, my heart, which felt as if a heavy stone had been placed on it, became much lighter.

 

It was embarrassing to say, but it was what I wanted to say the most. Saying that I want to be with a companion who respects me.

 

I won’t be able to trust him easily in the future, but if Physis really changes, I can give him a last chance.

 

What should I do?

 

I don’t know. But my feeling is not that sad or painful, rather… …they are, hopeful.

 

Also, I would be lying if I said that I honestly did not feel happy when I heard that it was he who punished those who insulted me. 

I thought he just hated me...

 

No. I don’t know yet. 

 

'Don’t trust him easily.'

 

I tried to calm my excitement. Nothing was certain yet. It could have been that he was simply putting on a mask and acting, or maybe he was doing that to play with me.

 

Because he was someone I couldn’t understand, and he hated me terribly. I should not give my faith easily.

 

Have hope, but don’t expect too much from that hope, and become the food of hope yourself.

 

If that happens and hope turns to despair, I will lose myself.

 

After sorting out all the confusing emotions I felt today, I couldn’t help but think about the hunting competition tomorrow.

 

Hunting competition… …Would it be right to just move with Physis?

 

Originally, I thought of moving with Physis. However, on second thought, it seemed that I should not go.

 

Because, if I go, it might get in the way. Although I can use magic, but my stamina is not that good.

 

Yes. In fact, wasn’t the reason why I was tempted to move with him in order to get away from the princesses and the battle of spirits?

 

Him who promised not to be swayed by other girls, should I use this opportunity to test him?

 

No. I’m not going to do anything to test Physis, because I promised to have faith in him and I should not be dishonest with my promise.

 

...And I should not fear those princesses as well. 

 

I have to do my job if I'm going to be the head of Rodenov in the future, I can’t avoid these trivial things.

 

'Yes. Adilun. Let’s face it.'

 

* * *

[Physis's POV]

 

Soon, it was the beginning of the hunting competition.

 

Each of the princesses wore a shy smile and tied handkerchiefs to the wrists of the knights, and the knights aimed for victory with determined expressions.

 

It was the same for me too.

 

This morning, Adilun said to me.

 

“You asked to move together yesterday, but now that I think about it again, I don’t think I should go with you.”

 

“What’s the problem? Did I do something wrong?”

 

“No. It’s not like that. I just… … I don’t want to run away.”

 

Oh, I understood Adilun's words at once. A battle of spirits could happen between princesses. Even though she could get away from all those evil intentions, she didn’t make that choice and would face it.

 

“All right. Now that you made your decision, I must work hard too.”

 

“Yes.”

 

After saying that, Adilun hesitantly took something out of her arms and grabbed my hand.

 

“Adilun?”

 

“Stay still for a moment.”

 

'No way.'

 

She said to me while tying a handkerchief engraved with a noble blue-white dragon around my wrist.

 

“Just don’t get hurt...”

 

“Yes. I will never get hurt. Do not worry.”

 

“Don’t get me wrong. In my heart, I want you to get hurt badly, but… …Because you have to participate in the great duel that's why I....”

 

“Hahaha. I will keep that in mind.”

 

It seemed that the ears of Adilun, who turned her head and spoke, turned a little red.

 

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