Chapter 14: Chapter 13. Difficult choice

The next day after our walk to Atlas, I was not myself from the very morning.

More precisely, it started at night, because I couldn't close my eyes.

All my thoughts were filled with the dilemma that had been bothering me for the past few days.

Yesterday, Blake unexpectedly asked me to become his dance partner, and all I could squeeze out of myself was a promise to think for a few days.

After all, I had to give an answer to both Phil and Blake tomorrow.

But how could I do this when I still haven't decided on a solution...?

I felt almost the same sympathy for both of them, and therefore I was afraid that having made a choice in someone's favor, the second one would certainly be disappointed in me.

And this despite the fact that it was so difficult for me to find friends in this place.

All these complicated thoughts were spinning in my head non-stop since the morning, and therefore everything that was happening around was perceived only as noise in the background.

At the request of the teacher, I had to deliver the test papers to his office, and walked along the corridor for this purpose.

Since today was Sunday, the academy was extremely deserted, as most either went to the city or rested in the dormitory.

I fell under the "hot hand" of the professor with his assignment when I was wandering around the building, because sitting in one place in my position seemed simply unbearable.

I hoped that the answer would come to me by itself, if I clear my head a little.

However, this never happened, and I still had to solve this problem before tomorrow morning.

While I was carrying a pile of heavy papers, heading to the right place, I did not immediately notice how someone stood in front of me.

In the end, I almost bumped into him until a familiar voice brought me out of a mental trance:

— Good afternoon, Lady Leriana.

Over the papers I saw bright blue eyes, and immediately recognized Phil.

— Oh... Hi, Phil," I smiled.

"Are you all right?" I've already called out to you several times, but you didn't hear.

— I'm just a little distracted today.

— That's how... Did something happen to you?

— Nothing serious, — I said, — Some thoughts are spinning in my head, that's all... Are you coming from somewhere?

— I had extra classes, — the guy explained with a smile, — Here I go, and I see you. Why are you here? It's a day off today.

"The teacher asked me to bring this to his office," I nodded at my luggage.

— In that case, since we met, I have to help you, — Phil winked and took the whole stack out of my hands, despite the fact that I doubted.

—N-not worth it... I can handle it myself...

— Don't worry. It's not difficult for me at all. Besides, I'm always happy to help a lady.

As a result, now we were walking together, and I felt even more awkward.

If Phil had known what a burden he had put on me with his request, he would definitely have considered himself guilty. Although it's just me, I still couldn't make up my mind.

— How are you doing?

— Oh, everything's great... And you?

— I can say that the same thing. However, I'm a little tired because of my studies, and... Some other things.

— Del?

— Preparation for the banquet, — the guy explained, embarrassed, — There is not much time left, and you need to have time to prepare everything so that the holiday goes as it should.

— Oh, that's how...

I nodded, although I didn't quite understand why an ordinary student like Phil was doing all this. After all, as far as I knew, the organization of the banquet should have been handled by the administration of the academy, not the students. Maybe the guy was preparing some special performance on it...?

"You seem very busy," I said, "I don't want to take up a lot of your time."

At that moment, we had already reached the right office, and I thanked him again for his help and took the papers from Phil.

"It's a pleasure to spend time in the company of such a lovely lady," he smiled.

— Then me, with such a fine gentleman.

We laughed, and Phil, as if he was just waiting to ask this question, asked:

— And your promise to think... Is it still valid?

Naturally, I immediately understood what he meant.

— K-of course, I'll answer you there tomorrow, as promised...

— In that case, I will look forward to it, — the guy smiled broadly, and, saying goodbye, left, leaving me in mixed feelings.

***

In the evening, as usual, I found Rachel in the library, and without saying a word, I sat down next to her and lowered my head on the table.

The girl, as on the other day, did not pay attention to me, although she looked askance, because today I did not even greet her.

We sat in complete silence, and only occasionally, heavy sighs escaped from my mouth.

— Eh-H...

I sighed, remembering all the difficulties of my life, not paying attention to the fact that the atmosphere around me became more tense every time.

In the end, Rachel couldn't stand it.

"I'll shut you up if you do that again."

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Knowing her, it was definitely not an empty threat.

I fell silent, but I sat and looked at her with such a dejected expression on my face that after a while, the girl had to put the book down again.

— You're weird today.

— Hmm?

— When you come here, you usually don't stop talking for a second. It was infuriating, but your silence is even more annoying.

— That's because I'm completely exhausted today.

— Hmm... Clear.

This short answer was enough for her, and Rachel started reading again. Nevertheless, I felt the need to throw out my soul, and continued:

— Actually, I have a big problem...

Rachel gave me an angry look, saying with her whole appearance that she absolutely did not want to hear about my affairs. But I calmly continued my story:

— ...Two of my friends invited me to be their partner at a banquet, and I do not know what to say to them.

—Is that all?" Rachel snorted contemptuously.

— What's wrong?

— Your problem is nothing... Although, what am I talking about. People like you will always find something to worry about.

— Such as "we"? — I frowned, assuming in advance that there was nothing good behind this designation.

— Those who study here have never known real problems, — said the girl, — Or rather, you think you have them. But in fact, compared to what is happening in the real world, this is nothing.

I was outraged.

Of course, Rachel could be right, and my dilemma about the school holiday really wasn't worth all this attention, but right now, she had an important place in my life. After all, it depended on whether I could maintain good relations with my friends without offending anyone.

— Maybe my problems are not so global, — I said, — But that doesn't mean that they can be devalued just like that! It's not up to you to decide why I should worry and why not.

Rachel sighed.

— As you know...

Apparently, she had no desire to convince me, and she just accepted my point of view. Although, the skeptical expression on her face at this moment, was already clearly saying everything.

For a while, silence reigned in the library again, and I, having thought about this situation in my head, this time spoke first:

— Why... What do you think?

— ...

Rachel squinted at me angrily, clearly displeased that I had opened my mouth again.

— What should I do? I asked.

— How do I know? This is your business, you figure it out yourself.

She said how she cut it off.

But I wasn't going to give up, because it finally dawned on me that I needed help in this matter.

Even from such an unexpected person as Rachel.

— But I can't do it on my own! — I exclaimed, — And the answer should be given tomorrow... Please, Rachel...!

Eventually, after my five-minute bombardment with puppy eyes, Rachel gave up and asked:

— What do you need?

— Tell me which one of them I should go with! — I asked, - Phil invited me a few days ago, and Blake only yesterday. But they are both very good, and I don't want to offend anyone with my refusal.

— So you need a reason to refuse? — the girl understood.

— Well, you could say that...

— It's as simple as that. Say you don't want to.

From her lips, it sounded like an understandable truth, and, undoubtedly, Rachel herself would have done just that. But there was no way I could try on such an answer for my situation.

"I can't do this," I sighed.

"And why is that?"

"If I say that, won't they think I'm not interested in their company?"

"But it's true," Rachel said, as if she knew better than I did, "otherwise, you wouldn't have ruined my evening with such stupid questions." You just don't like any of them.

— E-it's not like that! — I objected, — I like them as friends, but I never imagined them with me as a couple... I don't want any misunderstandings between us.

Rachel sighed angrily.

"Then what do you want from me?" If you can't refuse outright, make sure that you have no choice.

I thought about her words because I found some grain of truth in them.

And just a couple of seconds later, a brilliant idea flashed through my head.

— I understand! Jumping up from my chair with a triumphant look, I exclaimed, "I know what to do!

Rachel looked at me like I was distraught when I suddenly started screaming in the library, but I didn't care.

Suddenly, everything in my head fell into place. And how did I not think of this before...?!

— I'll just say that you proposed to me first!

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