Millie’s body temperature finally dropped, and this was the first time I’d fallen asleep on Millie’s sick night. It was so good to be home. I was not so panicked anymore, not to mention the baby’s father was with me, even though he didn’t know he was. I think that was why I fell asleep.
But what was going on? Why was Mike in bed, too? And his hand was on me… With this in mind, I felt more and more uncomfortable, and I couldn’t help but turn over. The hospital bed wasn’t very wide by itself, and now that I, Millie, and Mike were all in bed, it was very cramped. Perhaps my turn woke Mike, and he opened his eyes while awkwardly taking his hand back. I sighed with dismay.
“Melanda, tell me about him. What kind of person is he?” Mike, probably afraid of waking Millie, whispered
“What’s there to say? That was a long time ago. It’s in the past,” I told him, then shrugged and looked away again. Suddenly, I felt nervous and awake.
“Melanda, it’s obvious you haven’t forgotten him. I see pain in your eyes. Do you still love him?” he asked again, but his eyes looked sad.
Before I could answer him, I closed my eyes. “I’ve never loved anyone else,” I whispered. When I opened my eyes, I saw his hurt. Then he blinked and smiled.
“I’ve loved him a long time. I don’t know how to stop loving him. I fell in love with him in second grade. The first time I saw him, I told myself he would be my future husband.” I smiled when I remembered our first meeting.
“But he never looked at me the way I wanted him to look at me. He’s older than me and he’s popular at school,” I told him. He frowned.
“Wait, older? Do I know this person? Is he someone I know?” he asked curiously.
“Oh, no, no, no. He’s from another school. Yes, another school,” I answered him in panic.
“So, how did you two meet? I mean, how did this happen?” he said while pointing at Millie.
“Oh, um, after graduation. We met at a party and got drunk, and then it happened. But I knew he had a girlfriend. It was just a one-night stand,” I told him without looking into his eyes because I was afraid he would see through the lie.
“Which party? Baby, you have to be specific. I might know this idiot,” he asked, and I could sense the anger in his voice and in his eyes.
“Mike, stop, okay? I don’t want to talk about him. He doesn’t even know. I don’t think he needs to know,” I told him while looking up at the ceiling. It was actually hard to talk about him.
“Why not? I think he has a right to know. I’m sure he’ll love her as soon as he sees his daughter. Does he know you love him?” he asked.
“No, he doesn’t have to know. As far as I know, he’s happy with his girlfriend now. I don’t want to mess up his life because of my mistake. I’m happy, Mike. Millie has patched my broken heart. Someday, I’ll heal. Maybe I’ll find someone else who loves me,” I said while still staring at the ceiling. I could feel him watching me.
Before I knew it, tears were streaming down my cheeks onto the pillow. I felt his fingers touch my eyes. I closed my eyes and took a slow breath.
“Everyone makes mistakes, baby. This is life. But loving someone is never a mistake. And none of this here is a mistake.” He pointed at my sleeping daughter.
“Never say it’s your fault. Loving someone is a gift. Being loved by you is a miracle. He never knew what he had lost, Melanda. If I were him, I would never have left you.” He said it so vehemently that my heart broke again.
“Do you want to, Mike? With me, I mean. If you knew you made me pregnant, would you be with me? Suppose. For example,” I asked him hopefully.
“Of course, baby. I’d never abandon you and our baby. I’d never do that to you. You know that, right?” He answered quickly and seriously.
“Even if you have a girlfriend? Even if you have Hannah?” I asked again while holding my breath as I waited for his answer.
“That’s for sure, Melanda,” he said softly and smiled faintly. His eyes didn’t leave mine. My heart pounded and tears came again. It felt like my heart was crushed into a million pieces again. If only I could believe him. If only that were true.
Mike saw my tears fall down my face and I quickly turned around. He was confused by my reaction. Slowly, he moved Millie away from him and stood up. He knelt beside me and hugged me.
“Baby, what is it? Did I say something wrong? Please, Melanda, tell me. I can’t bear to see you like this.” He took my face in his hands and wiped my tears away with his thumbs. He kissed my forehead, my eyes and nose. He stared at me with anguish in his eyes and placed his forehead on mine.
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“Baby, stop crying. Please stop crying and tell me what’s wrong.” He kissed my wet cheek and asked again.
“Nothing, Mike. You didn’t do anything. Your words moved me. I hope he’ll react the same way when I tell him about Millie.” I laughed through my tears.
“Baby, if he doesn’t accept her and doesn’t love you, he’s too stupid. You’re the sweetest, cutest person I’ve ever known. Remember, any man is lucky to have the two of you together. But if he’s already married, that’s his loss, not yours, okay?” he said while rubbing my arm and wiping the tears that were left on my face.
“Want me to get you some water?” he asked me with a smile. I nodded and smiled at him. He kissed my forehead again, then stood and poured me a glass of water. After that, he went to the makeshift bed and laid down.
“You should sleep, baby. If Millie wakes up, I’ll take care of her, okay?” he ordered me, and I nodded at him gratefully. I closed my eyes and tried to relax with my hands on either side of my body. Suddenly, I felt Mike’s hand take mine. He kissed it, and held it. I didn’t open my eyes, but there was a small smile on my lips. I hoped this night would never end..