Chapter 16: Chapter 15: “Where Lawrence starts to move, clenched teeth… and a foot in the gutter”

Wrath.

It’s a feeling people truly experiences few times in their lives.

True, for a human, to get mad at something or someone is rather easy. As a matter of fact, lots of problems in modern society are in some way related to this.

However, wrath, at its fullest expression, is something different. Far stronger than petty feelings such as ‘I sprained my ankle,’ ‘shit, it’s raining’ or ‘what do you mean there are no cookies left?’

… No, the latter is perfectly justified.

Anyways. Wrath is a much more intense feeling. To hate something with every fiber of your being. To feel a hatred so intense you feel light you might blow up in pieces if you don’t deal with it soon.

Few times in life will something happen to you important enough to provoke your wrath.

Lawrence was perfectly aware of this.

As someone who had always lived with a surprisingly low level of empathy, he he could probably count with the fingers on his hands the times he had felt really annoyed, sad, or happy about something, at least about things that involved himself.

Right now, for the first time on his life, Lawrence was feeling different however.

Every single piece of his whole self hurt like he had been hit by a giant rollercoaster tuned with spikes on the chassis.

But pain, he could endure to a certain point. After all, nothing felt broken or burnt, or even misplaced. No, he had only taken a hard blow, that was all.

What truly got his blood to boil was the look of his house.

A house that had been passed to him, legacy of is past generations. A house he had spent lots of money and effort into. A house that was, as of now, partially turned into a pile of rubble, dust, iron bars and pieces of plumbing.

Well, at least the cookies are safe a stupid part of him thought as he noticed the other half of the house partially intact, the dining room/kitchen being a part of it. His bedroom, as well as the guests’ where Mika currently slept, was relatively safe as well.

Bathroom, living room, studio and backyard, however… those were a different story.

A wreckage of a story.

Lawrence’s eyebrow twitched, almost noticeably, as always. This time, however, he chose not to bother with Façade, and voiced his honest feelings.

“When I find the little piece of shit responsible for this…”

His voice got husky and his eyes slightly widening with each word.

“I’m going to fucking rip them to shreds.”

This time, Lawrence could wholeheartedly tell he was no longer apathetic about himself. This was personal. Someone had fucked up his house, reaaaly big time, and whoever that was, it was having a little session with him.

A session involving me ripping their guts from their ass and chocking them with them.

Surprisingly enough, however, he didn’t feel impatient. On contrary, he felt relaxed… well, relaxed enough for someone whose house was just turned into a real-scale replica of the Stonehenge.

His first thoughts were to understand what had just happened.

“Well, someone blew up my fucking house. That much is obvious.”

Yeah, pretty obvious.

The question was: who, why, and how?

He looked around. The force of the explosion had sent him flying to the front yard. From there, he could see he hadn’t been the only one damaged. Several buildings around had been damaged by the blast as well, most of them the houses of his neighbors. Looking beyond the streets, he noticed there probably had been more than just one explosion. A few blocks further, other houses and shops were falling to brittle.

An image flashed on his head, and his anger multiplied.

“If they touched a single hair of Emma or Mika’s heads…”

And also, fear.

He had remembered his newest meetings. Emma, the sweet waitress. And Mika, his first minion, and a girl to whom he felt a probably induced yet not unwanted need to protect.

Well, in any case, Mika could have escaped with her power… Assuming she had the time to, that is... No, she’s probably alri—

“Chief! What the hell just happened?!” A dusty puff and a burst of dark mist were followed by Mika herself jumping to the ground with a part worried, part angered expression.

“Indeed, what the hell just happened, I wonder…?” As he held back the urge to jump and shriek like a nine years girl, Lawrence checked Mika’s body for any wounds. A little cut here and there, a couple of light bruises, but nothing else. He nodded to himself.

Good, at least she’s better than my house… Still could use a warning before you sprout out of nowhere and scare the crap out of me, you know?

… I’ll have to see about handing her a honk or something. I can’t have myself die over a heartattack just because my minion has the skills kill a ghost of envy. Like, really, girl, you could make a professional stalker blush.

Oh, yeah, I should probably ask her if she knows what the fuck just happened…

“Mikaella, report.”

“Aye aye, chief! So, I was walking down the street. A pebble got on my shoe and I bent to get it out, but then the—”

You’ve got to be kidding me. Is she seriously telling me every single detail?

Ever heard of the words ‘summing up’?

Forget basic education, I’ll have to see about getting her to attend to a kindergarten… I wonder if they accept 18+ girls…?

No, nonononono! Never put the words ‘kindergarten’ and ‘18+’ together! NEVER!!!

“Ahem…” Clearing his throat, Lawrence signaled her to stop somewhere around the part in which a Felyne King of Destruction attacked her with her katanas over the hamburger she had just bought.

… Maybe I’ll have her see a psychiatrist as well…

“Mikaella, get to the point.”

“…And then she said something about me being really strong and how I should join her in the yaku— What?”

“Sum. It. Up.” Lawrence sighed and put emphasis on his words. “I want to know exactly what happened at the moment of the explosion.”

… Is she actually pouting? Wow, that’s a new level of low for you.

“Summing it up, the sewers blew up.”

The sewers blew up. I see, that makes a lot of sen— wait WHAT?!

“Not so summed up, Mikaella.” He sighed, a sigh even Façade failed to suppress… Mentally, of course.

To hell with this awesomely useful yet boring skill.

“Uhm, well, one second I was walking, and the other there was this pssss sound, and I felt something was off, like when you feel you need to carry extra toilet paper, and…”

What in the actual fuck is that supposed to mean?

“And then everything went BOOOOOOOOMMM!!!!! and the manhole covers blew up and half of the neighborhood followed.”

Really now… From the sewers, huh?

“Are you sure?”

Instead of answering, she stretched out her hand. The by now well known dot of existence bending formed, expanded, and something fell to the ground with a hollow thunk.

Is that… a sewer cover?

“It’s still smoking. I’m so lucky! It almost falls in my head. All I had to do was storing it! I didn’t even need to search for it… uh… Chief?”

Lawrence’s face had paled slightly, and the only thing keeping him from sweating a tankard was his Façade skill.

You are reading story I, Criminal Mastermind! at novel35.com

What part of nearly getting crushed by a giant lump of flying metal is lucky? Something is definitively off with this girl! Lucky? You are lucky you survived! Scratch that, you’re lucky you are alive with that way of thinking of yours! No, calling it way of not thinking is far more appropriate!

Holding back another sigh, Lawrence shook his head and gave another look at his house. Another pang of hatred ran through him, and a sudden thought formed on his head. The all too known lightbulb lit up above his head, annoyed that the author couldn’t bother looking for another figurative speech, and instead decided to go on and rant until he could no more just to add extra words.

… Err, yeah, anyways, going back to the point…

“Mikaella.” Lawrence looked at the streets. More specifically, at the now open manholes, which, he had noticed, all looked like they had been forced.

“Chief?”

“Are you thinking what I’m thinking?”

“Why do they call it peanut butter even though it doesn’t have any butter?”

“Exact— Wait, wha—? Are you…? Haaah… No, Mikaella. Get ready, we will be taking a little walk…”

“Where to?”

Lawrence’s eyes show a glint of cold rage as he stares at the stench-filled hole.

“The sewe—”

THUNK!!!

At that moment, a giant lump of hardened steel fell between them, mere inches away from Lawrence.

“Oh look! You found another one!”

 

 

 

• ••••

 

 

“Stench” would fall short to describe the putrid smell coming out of the sewers. Even to Mika, who was used to living in unsanitary conditions, the mixed aroma of rotten eggs, gargabe, and human residues was… a veritable hell, to say the least.

To say the most, she wondered about the human nature of the people who caused this smell.

Lawrence, on the other hand…

What the fuck is wrong with this place?! I know sewers aren’t expected to smell like a field of roses, but this is on another level? Seriously, what on the actual fuck?! If this were a game, I would’ve probably gained the ‘Poison Resistance’ skill or some shit like that! No, I think ‘Rot Resistance’ is way more fitting to this…

Oh, speaking of which, I never actually purchased a new Feature, did I?

Let’s see what I can do about tha— FUCK!!! WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?! IT SMELLS LIKE A ROTTEN FISH JUST FARTED!!!

AND THAT FART FARTED TOO!!!!!

---> Yes, yes, you never loose in the Root Casino! The bets are placed, the wheel spins and spins… And your 25 Feature Points turn into…!

Soul Stare:
- Boosts your natural sight and allows you to see in the darkness. You can see things the normal eye cannot perceive. Display meta-humans’ Status.
- Passive Skill

Oh wow, that’s… that’s… Cool, actually.

I mean, it’s still not a combat skill, but… It’s an Evil Eye, you know? An Evil Eye! I wonder what kind of Feature I can unlock from this one… Oh, oooohhh…!!! What if I evolve this baby into something more powerful?! Will I get an amazing power, like eternal all-consuming fire? Or something like the All Seeing Eyes of God? I’m not about to headbutt people, but something like cool, glowing blue eyes and powers like Shuffle sure are broken pow—

SHIT!!! SERIOUSLY, WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THIS SMELL?!?!?! I’VE SEEN SKUNKS SMELLING BETTER THAN THIS CRAP!!!

Holding back his mental tears while maintaining his outwardly unwavering expression, Lawrence’s mind shifted between the awesomeness of his brand new Feature and the forbidden-class hellishness of the aroma he was being tortured into smelling…

Until something made him stop.

“Mikaella. Hold.”

His command hadn’t been needed, since Mika, who possessed a sight enhancing feature just like the one he had just acquired, had noticed the slight changes in the lightening of the sewer tunnels as well.

Seems like we have company… Someone else came looking for the perpetrator of the explosion? No… It’s more likely that this is the person we’re looking for…

The little fuckers that blew my house to pieces…

…

Is shoving a magazine on someone’s ass considered a crime?

Meh, shoot first, ask later.

Lawrence signaled Mika to come closer, and they both pressed themselves against the wall.

“Looks like they are about to turn in this corner” he whispered. The sewers were similar to the streets above in structure, albeit the road lacking any asphalt and being overwhelmed in what, Lawrence had no doubt, was a highly corrosive, toxic and probably sentient mass of shit-stinking substance. They were currently hiding in a corner, corner to which the source of light was quickly approaching.

Lawrence took a peek from his position, trying not to get found out. It took only a second, but he was able to see three people in total. He told as much to Mika with his hands, and then whispered once again.

“On my mark, take the one behind. If you can, engage the next one as well.”

She nodded and readied herself for the signal…

Three…

My nose is so falling off after this…

Two…

Like, seriously, what the fuck is wrong with Plaza?!

One…

I should probably stop thinking about the smelly shit and mind the people who just caused a giant fucking explosion…

An explosion which blew up my house…

FUCK THIS SHIT!!!

“Now!!!”

HOLY SHIT IT’S IN MY MOUTH!!! MY MOOOOOUUUTH!!!

FUCK YOU PLAZA SEWEEEEEERS!!!

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