Chapter 131: 131

Episode 131 Punished for shouting "sister-in-law"

 

Tian Yuan had brought a lot of stuff for Pan Lei, including a wide variety of foods, cigarette packs, and a lighter - a Zippo lighter[1]. It was utilized by all World War II veterans. It was a good thing that all men who smoked liked. The sterling silver shell had a wolf head engraved on it. The wolf appeared aloof, haughty, and cruel. He thought Pan Lei resembled this lone wolf at times.

 

Every army camp is spotless, and Pan Lei's dormitory was no exception. There was a super-sized double bed, two army-green quilts folded into perfect squares, snow-white bed sheets, a work desk with a pen holder and some paperwork, then his laptop, a closet, and an adjacent bathroom - relatively modest and without a bathtub but with shower heads. Matching sets of toothpaste, toothbrushes, and slippers were also available.

 

The amenities were modest but immaculate. There were no stinking socks or filthy garments to be found. Pan Lei's other change of clothes were hanging on the balcony. There was no dust or cigarette ash on the floor. The dorm room was so clean that it was impossible to imagine it was occupied.

 

When Pan Lei was at home, he also enjoyed tidying up the house. Things were arranged, clothes were washed and neatly put, and rubbish would not be scattered. This was an excellent habit that he'd picked up while serving in the military.

 

"This lighter is so beautiful that I can't use it outside. If that bunch of bandits sees that I have such a good thing, they will definitely rob me. I’d like to keep the gift you gave me. Baby, keep it safe for me."

 

Pan Lei hugged Tian Yuan, who was bustling around the room inspecting it. It was time to make out properly now that they were alone.

 

"What should I do with my clothes?"

 

"Put them in the closet for the time being. I'll organize them later. Now, let me hug you properly."

 

Tian Yuan, who was hugging Pan Lei, was compelled to sit on his lap as he sat on the bed. He leaned in, kissed his cheek, and then buried his face in Tian Yuan's shoulder hollow, taking a long breath. My baby, my family’s treasure. As he breathed Tian Yuan's scent, Pan Lei felt content, followed by a desire to do this and that.

 

"Don't make trouble, there are people training outside."

 

People speaking in loud voices could be readily heard by him. Their dorm room was close to the training grounds. If you exited the room and turned left, you'd pass a few of the deputy instructors' dorm rooms. You'd arrive at the soldiers' dormitory after crossing a roadway, which was one kilometre away from the cafeteria.

 

People were walking up and down the corridor. They would be spotted if they made out in the room.

 

Pan Lei encircled his waist with his arms. As he held his darling in his arms, he could now be deemed steady. He'd been antsy since the minute he got the visit approval. He kept wondering when he'd get there. He hadn't gotten much sleep the night before because he was missing Tian Yuan so much. He was overjoyed when he imagined Tian'er coming to visit family and staying with him all day and night. He was finally seeing him, finally hugging him, and he was about to close the curtains to get busy.

 

"I'm afraid you won't be able to get used to sleeping in the military quilt, so I also purchased a double quilt. It won't freeze you no matter how wild we get tonight. I slept on this bed by myself last night and quickly discovered that it is far too large. It's too sad to keep twisting and turning over by yourself. Our bed is also as large as this one, so how come I never thought it was too big? Soon after daybreak, I had an epiphany and realized that there was someone missing - you. It's extremely cold and desolate without my baby in my arms."

 

Tian Yuan smiled. This scoundrel is being coquettish with me.

 

"Then you should sleep in a single bed. You’ll definitely not think it’s too big and aggrieve yourself to death."

 

"A single bed? That's no good. A double bed is best; you can roll and use all kinds of positions on it. A single bed will break if there are too many movements on it. You think I’ll let you off after I’ve been unsatisfied for so long?"

 

Tian Yuan grabbed his face and twisted it sideways.

 

"I’ve never seen somebody as shameless as you. If you talk rubbish one more time, stand guard for me tonight."

 

"Ow, ow, this is domestic violence, ah! I’ll tell your mother-in-law that you mistreat me; you abuse my body and my soul!"

 

Tian Yuan pushed him away. Get lost! Besides, you’re going to be abused for the rest of your life.

 

"You'll be by my side when I'm working. I'd like you to witness the might of my Devil Pan Squadron and see how commandos are trained. When the time comes, you'll be sorry and wonder why you didn't join the army."

 

Tian Yuan felt uneasy as he imagined Grandpa Pan holding a horse whip behind his back while he trained his sons and grandsons. How are they trained? Surely not like that devil concentration camp? He’d seen the film "Devil Girl Soldier[2]," an American movie about a woman training in a male special operations army camp to become an outstanding commando. The training wouldn't be cruel like in that movie, would it?

 

In truth, he admired this profession as well. They were deserving of respect, covered in pine needle green from head to toe as they carried the responsibility of national defense on their shoulders. But he was bound to fail if he genuinely wanted to be trained to be a qualified soldier. His physical strength was simply inadequate.

 

As a result, whenever he and Pan Lei played around, he was the one who was at a disadvantage. His strength could not be compared to Pan Lei's, nor could his skills, which allowed Pan Lei to always trick him.

 

"I'll wait for you to return to the dorm."

 

"No. I want to look at you all of the time. I can see you in a flash if you’re by my side."

 

"Fine, fine, whatever. Hey! I brought a lot of food. Bring it along and share it with your men."

 

Tian Yuan took out numerous bags of various fruits, his face expressionless. They resembled those enormous grocery plastic bags. Fortunately, there was a car waiting to pick him up; otherwise, he would not have been able to handle it himself.

 

"Let's go, let's go. I'll take you there and have them all thank Dr. Tian. My family's husband is so nice."

 

There was a loud noise outside the door as Pan Lei pulled Tian Yuan and opened it, and three or four people hurried away, disappearing in the blink of an eye.

 

Pan Lei narrowed his eyes and he yelled.

 

"Horse Head, Plum Head, Flat Head, and White Head, you four have to do 3000 push-ups today or you’re not allowed to eat!"

 

Four very unwilling "yeses" came from four different places.

 

"These f**king idiots! You scumbags dare to eavesdrop outside Laozi’s door?! I’ll wake you up right away! You want to know what Laozi enjoys doing with his husband? We didn’t do anything. When we do something, you f**kers are so devoid of substance that you can’t even masturbate when you return to your rooms! Damn it! If you don’t complete 3000 push-ups, you won’t get a bite to eat!"

 

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Tian Yuan’s face was filled with black lines as smoke rose from his head[3]. What kind of situation is this? People are eavesdropping outside our door?! It’s not the wedding night of a newly married couple. This eavesdropping experience was quite novel. They were alone and still being watched…

 

Why do these people have such evil interests, ah?

 

Could it be a deviant behavior disorder caused by living in the barracks and having their passions bottled up for too long?

 

Fortunately, they did not act. Tian Yuan imagined four burly guys with raised heads pinching their noses outside the door, while the two of them were within a warm, crimson silk canopy, being lovey-dovey and making love... What the hell is going on?!

 

"Humph! My four deputy instructors are aware that you have arrived today and are very curious that’s all. They are just curious. It doesn’t mean anything."

 

"And exactly like you. They’re all a bunch of bandits."

 

Please! You guys are in uniform, so don’t do anything that would bring shame to the military uniform, OK? They were all soldiers, not snooping little perverts.

 

"I was co-opted[4] by you. I haven’t been a bandit for a long time. I am a qualified soldier."

 

Tian Yuan whacked Pan Lei on seeing him standing ramrod straight with his chest puffed out. Pan Lei chuckled cheerfully and held his hand in his to show him around the commandos' encampment.

 

The squad of special forces soldiers, who were still hard at work training in the muck, saw their Squadron Leader Pan approaching from afar and moved more briskly. Pow! They tossed down their teammates one by one, being splashed with muck in the process.

 

What a joke. Devil Pan, their Squadron Leader, would never be kind and lenient just because his beloved was around. Squadron Leader Pan kept blathering on about how relaxing his efforts toward them was equal to harming them. On the battlefield, they would face a variety of foes. He'd prefer they despise him right now. He didn't want the squad to have to someday mourn[5] the remains of their fallen comrades.

 

Pan Lei's training goal was for them to get up and continue as long as they weren't dead. If it aches, if you're exhausted, if you can't go on, quit as soon as possible and  do not return to my special forces. I'm looking for heroes, not people who admit defeat.

 

The actions should be standard, the intensity should be fierce, and the strength should be massive. They were not confronting their comrades, but their enemies.

 

Tian Yuan stood behind Pan Lei as he stood outside the quagmire. He  grimaced as he watched a soldier barely stand up before being knocked down by a fellow soldier.

 

"Why do you want them to train in mud?"

 

"So that it makes no difference whether it's a cloudy day or a clear sky when they're assigned. It's also a good way to work on your physical strength."

 

Pan Lei checked his watch. They had been training in the mud for two hours.

 

"All right, stop."

 

Pan Lei's hands were clasped behind his back as he spoke loudly. Everyone came to a halt and stood in the muck. Despite the fact that they were covered in mud, they were soldiers and stood tall and straight.

 

"Today’s training stops here. Clean up before coming to my dorm to collect the fruits brought by my lover."

 

The group of buff young men cheered and said, "Thank you, Doctor Tian!"

 

Many people were shouting, "Thank you, Dr. Tian!" but someone yelled, "Thank you, sister-in-law!"

 

Tian Yuan and Pan Lei both heard it. Pan Lei extended his hand and pointed at the soldier who was spewing rubbish before Tian Yuan could say anything.

 

"Beat him into the mud. Who allowed him to say such nonsense?! Beat him for me!"

 

As the rest of the squadron jumped on him and crushed him into the muck like a human pyramid, the soldier who'd shouted out sister-in-law let out a miserable shriek.

 

They only saw a hand emerge from beneath the human pyramid's pressure.

 

"Doctor Tian, please save me!"

 

Tian Yuan burst out laughing. This gathering of people was too adorable. They possessed the most zealous youth, and they had dedicated their zeal and love to the motherland. They were not, however, stiff; they had their warm side. They were all fearless and powerful troops who faced the enemy, just like those supposedly unshakable men of steel. They were adorable, respectable, and admirable.

 

"Shower and eat some fruit. Hurry up! You guys are too slow."

 

Pan Lei clapped his hands like a great patriarch. The group of people crawled out of the mud in a hurry, leaving a trail of muddy footprints behind them as they raced to take a shower.

 

"They're extremely cute, just like you."

 

"Tut! I'm much cuter than them. Otherwise, you wouldn't have fallen in love with me."

 

Tian Yuan didn't say anything, but he agreed. Yes, Pan Lei was the cutest and the one he adored the most. The rest would not do. They deserved to be respected and admired. They were all excellent men, but only the one who'd earned his love for the rest of his life was the man standing beside him.

Footnotes:

[1] A Zippo lighter is a reusable metal lighter produced by Zippo Manufacturing Company of the USA. Thousands of different styles and designs have been made in the eight decades since their introduction, including military versions for specific regiments. Zippo lighters have been sold around the world and have been described as "a legendary and distinct symbol of America." Read the Wikipedia page.

[2] Chinese name of the movie G. I. Jane. Read the Wikipedia entry here.

[3] In manga and anime, black lines and smoke coming out of a character’s head indicate the characters are embarrassed, angry, or thinking too hard.  

[4] zhāo ān: To recruit bandits to the court(when emperors ruled) to serve as officials, so that the bandits will no longer confront the court. In general, to enlist enemy or rebel soldiers by offering amnesty.

[5] mò āi: to observe a moment of silence in tribute.

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