Chapter 140: 140

Chapter 140 Farewell, dear comrade

 

Tian Yuan had a positive relationship with his military instructors during his university days. Many female pupils wept as the military training came to a conclusion, as they were hesitant to part ways with the instructors. Everyone felt a tremendous sense of loss as they parted. At that point, even the boys were teary eyed.

 

They'd only been together for a few days at the time. This was the actual barracks, the real soldiers, and these comrades in arms had been battling together for who knows how long. The terrible mood of "we're parting" had overtaken the camp, making everyone exceedingly depressed.

 

When Pan Lei walked out that day, he wore sunglasses. Despite the fact that the sun was not very brilliant and the wind was not particularly strong that day, he put the sunglasses on his nose without saying anything.

 

White Head was only teary-eyed after removing the collar insignia, cap, and badge. Pan Lei pursed his lips and made no sound. Soldiers being dismissed from service alongside White Head bowed their heads and discreetly wiped their eyes.

 

It was pointless to say anything at this point. Could they be consoled? The comrades in the barracks would still be able to come together in the future to drink and play cards. The ones who were retiring, on the other hand, would be as far away from them as the gap between the heavens and the earth. They lived far apart, and there weren't many chances for them to see each other again. Some of these folks may never see each other again in their lives. They were once inextricably linked. The brothers who had worked together, trained together, fought together, and drank together were suddenly parted in this manner. Would comforting them help?

 

Should they be told "Don't be sad"? The majority of them had been here for more than three years. White Head had lived in the encampment for XX years and could navigate it with his eyes closed. They treated it as though it were their own homes. Who could possibly leave here without feeling sad?

 

Or say that after they leave, they will be free - your wife will be able to care for you, your children will be able to see their father, those who are not married will be able to find the person of their dreams, and they will be able to pursue different careers. Bullshit, it was utter bullshit to make them feel better. So, after taking off their collar insignia, caps, and badges, they went to pick up their bags. The gate swung open, revealing the outer world they had once yearned for. Its strangeness, however, appeared to worry them. After all, they’d been isolated from the outside world for the entire year. They were unaware that Apple had released the 4S, Steve Jobs had passed away, and Bill Gates had stepped down. Everything had to be restarted from scratch.

 

Pan Lei could only purse his lips at this point. He could call Tian Yuan nauseatingly cheesy endearments and coax him into joy in a hundred different ways. But all he could do at this point was purse his lips and roar, "My men can shed blood but not tears. Wipe your snotty faces, you pu**ies. Don't embarrass me!"

 

Pan Lei turned around and ordered someone to get the car ready. He was going to see his buddy off at the station in person.

 

A glance away from the stage revealed veterans and colleagues hugging, exchanging contact information, and crying as they said their goodbyes. They had to let others know if they were in trouble, no matter how far apart they were or how impossible it would be. They pledged to meet up once every three or five years; they were good comrades in arms and would be good brothers for life.

 

Tian Yuan was standing behind Pan Lei. He couldn't see Pan Lei's eyes, but he could tell he was sad.

 

Tian Yuan approached him and patted him on the back.

 

"I'm fine. Let's go. Get in the car. Come with me to see White Head off."

 

Tian Yuan sat in the front passenger seat, and Pan Lei drove. He didn't need any further help because he would personally see White Head off.

 

Tian Yuan leaned on the door and spoke attentively with White Head, advising him not to put off his saozi's condition, that once he returned, he should take her for a complete checkup, and that if they decided to undergo surgery but couldn't do it locally, he should simply return. He worked at the No. 1 Hospital in the city and could make the required arrangements. Pan Lei butted in, telling him he shouldn't go there. He'd speak with his mother, and they'd go to the Armed Police Hospital for surgery. "White Head, you won't have to worry about any expenses if you go to the Armed Police Hospital for surgery. My mother will undoubtedly cut the fees as soon as the dean's son-in-law and son open their mouths."

 

The strongest bond is that formed between comrades-in-arms. They didn't have the same surname, but they had lived and worked together for so long that the feelings they had developed were stronger than those between blood brothers. They valued friendship so much that they were willing to sacrifice themselves for it. Nothing could frighten them.

 

Pan Lei and White Head had fought on the battlefield together. They had saved each other’s lives in times of danger. They had relied on each other, cared for each other, crawled forward together, and left the last drink of water to their buddy when they survived in the wild. When Pan Lei was unable to move due to his injuries, White Head would finish the training on his behalf. They'd come to blows, written self-criticisms, and been reprimanded during training together. They'd drunk together while they were sad and also when they were joyful.

 

It was a sacred bond between battle partners and a form of brotherhood between close pals.

 

Maybe we haven't been in the army and don't understand, but everyone who has been in the army refers to their comrades' parents as dad and mom. One plea from a comrade-in-arms, and they will dash on heroically, with no regard for their personal safety.

 

The train whistled and was set to depart. White Head boarded the train and returned his gaze to Pan Lei. He let go of his luggage, and stepped forward, hugging Pan Lei.

 

This was not a hug between sweethearts, but the reluctance of two brothers who were about to part ways.

 

White Head embraced him tightly, pounded Pan Lei's shoulder a few times, and sobbed.

 

A man in his thirties was sobbing uncontrollably like a child; a befuddled and defenseless child forced to abandon his family. He needed to leave, yet he was reluctant to do so.

 

Tian Yuan's tears sprang forth in a flash. He lowered his head to hide his tears. He couldn't bear seeing this sort of farewell.

 

Pan Lei returned White Head’s strong hug and patted his back.

 

"Brother."

 

They were good brothers and lifelong comrades.

 

The train was about to leave. Pan Lei snatched White Head's suitcase and crammed it into his arms.

 

"Don't cry incessantly like a girl. Retirement is not a permanent goodbye. Why are you crying? I’ll drive to see you when I miss you. Go, get on the train."

 

Pan Lei's voice sounded a little nasal, but he was wearing sunglasses, so it was difficult to tell if he was crying like White Head.

 

"Team leader Pan, I hate leaving our special team."

 

White Head wailed as Pan Lei shoved him into the train, preventing him from dawdling on the platform. White Head pulled down the window and stared at them. The carriage door shut. Pan Lei followed the accelerating train, taking a few rapid steps while raising his neck and shouting.

 

"White Head, you must call me if you need anything. Don't be embarrassed. We’re lifelong brothers, and buddies don't talk about causing inconvenience. There is a bank card in the inner layer of your carry-on bag, and the password is written on it. That's the money that we husbands have given to your child to spend on gifts. You can use it with confidence. Feeling awkward is narrow-minded, you hear. The road ahead is not smooth. It’s my duty as a brother."

 

White Head frantically waved at Pan Lei.

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Pan Lei stood looking in the direction he was leaving from a distance as the train moved further and further away.

 

Farewell, my dear brother.

 

Farewell, my dear comrade.

 

Tian Yuan’s eyes were red rimmed as looked at Pan Lei, thinking that his mood would be awful, that he would cry in grief, but Pan Lei simply pursed his lips and didn't say anything.

 

They left the station and returned to the once-bustling barracks, which had suddenly become silent. There were no thundering slogans during training, and no trainers came and went. It was silent, somber, and depressing.

 

The special forces unit was equally sluggish. Everyone was a little listless, their heads drooping, because the veterans had retired.

 

Pan Lei entered the dormitory and sat on the bed, his legs spread. Tian Yuan lighted a cigarette for him, and he sat in silence, smoking the cigarette.

 

Tian Yuan had never experienced such loneliness. Pan Lei removed his sunglasses. Tian Yuan realized what the sunglasses signified the moment he saw Pan Lei walk away wearing them. He, too, was heartbroken, and he despised having to say goodbye to his colleagues. He was wearing sunglasses to conceal the fact that his eyes were wet with sorrow.

 

Pan Lei bowed his head, and rested his elbows on his knees, holding the cigarette. He just sat there quietly, his entire body oozing helplessness, loneliness, and repression.

 

He needed time to process his feelings of sadness. Every year, he saw off his colleagues and grieved like this. It was difficult for him to watch his buddies be discharged from the army. He felt he couldn't stand it if he was the one who needed to be discharged from the military. He was a soldier who adored his job as much as he adored his life.

 

Tian Yuan swallowed everything he wanted to say to convince him to retire. He decided to give Pan Lei some time to calm down. He wanted Pan Lei to be joyful, to lead the troops in high spirits, and to carry out his duties with great force. As long as he's happy.

 

It wasn't blood ties that caused everyone who retired from the service to cry so hard. It was a reluctance to leave the troops, a reluctance to leave the brothers in arms, and a reluctance to part with the uniform on the body. They all sobbed while they were leaving the service, whether they were tough guys or lone wolves.

 

Everyone has a weakness. They won't cry as long as it's not touched.

 

But if this soft spot is poked, even the toughest of men will cry like a child.

 

"Baby, come here and hug me."

 

Pan Lei extinguished his cigarette and offered his hand to Tian Yuan. His smile appeared to be a little forced. He was plainly in need of a soothing hug.

 

Tian Yuan stepped in front of Pan Lei and drew his body into his arms. Pan Lei leaned into his chest and tightened his grip on his waist.

 

Tian Yuan stroked his hair, caressed his face, patted his back, lowered his head, and kissed his brow.

 

It'll be fine, it'll be fine. They're gone, but new recruits are on the way. You'll shortly be training a new batch of soldiers. Even though they've left, your brotherhood will never be broken, as you stated. Drive to see White Head if you miss him. It's not as if the country is so large that you can't meet. No matter how far away he is, flying there will take a day at most. Leaving the army doesn't mean you'll never see each other again.

 

It's okay; don't think about how you will also retire one day. As long as you want to be a soldier, I will always support you.

 

It's alright. Even if everyone else leaves, I'll be here. I'm with you, and I'm not going anywhere. I'll always be with you.

 

If you are happy, I will accompany you; if you are unhappy, I will still accompany you.

 

Pan Lei sighed heavily as he snuggled in his arms. It was a sigh that seemed to expel all of his sorrow.

 

"As far as I’m concerned, their departure is akin to losing my siblings. If you leave me, it's like digging out my heart."

 

Pan Lei drew him in and sat him on his lap. How wonderful that Tian Yuan soothed him with his warm embrace when he was so depressed. Nothing heals like a lover's embrace.

 

"I'm not going anywhere; I'll always be with you."

 

Tian Yuan touched his cheek, raised his head, and kissed him on the lips. I'm not going anywhere; I’ll always be there for you.

 

"You always make me happy, my darling."

 

Pan Lei embraced him tightly. His lover understood him, his way of thinking, encouraged him, and silently supported him. Simply staring at him in this way made him love his darling and feel content.

 

"Then you promise me that you'll be with me for the rest of my life. You can't let go in the middle of it. I won't be able to live if something happens to you."

 

Tian Yuan threatened, his head lying on Pan Lei's shoulder.

 

Pan Lei lightly slapped him on the back.

 

"What nonsense is that! Don’t you know how sad I am. You must coax me properly out of my gloom. Why are you adding fuel to fire and provoking me? Shouldn’t you say something nice since I’m in a bad mood? Say "I love you" a hundred times. Quick! Say it."

 

If you're sad, then stay sad till the end, okay? Why are you behaving like a rogue at the end of the day? You want me to say "I love you" a hundred times? Just you wait. See if I'll let you use this as an opportunity to blackmail me.

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