Chapter 179: 179

Chapter 179 Pan Yue, the macho lady

 

Pan Yue refused to stay at He Lian's house under any circumstances. She took her baggage and proceeded into Tian Yuan's house.

 

Tian Yuan hadn't ever lived in the same house with a woman before. When Pan Lei learned of the situation, he nearly used the next month's vacation to return to England, but was constrained to merely grip the phone and howl.

 

"Get the hell out of there! Don't stay in our house! You’re an unmarried girl who ran to our place to hook up with my hubby! You’ve grown up, but there’s no sign of tenderness or virtuousness in you. Your eyes glow green the moment you see a modest gentleman. Leave right now!"

 

This friend lived up to her notoriety as a member of the Pan family. "Hahaha..." she laughed heartily as she stepped onto the coffee table with one foot and one hand on her waist.

 

"This old lady will live right here, and your man will be mine as well. This old lady likes mild men. Don't bother harping on about 'my family's husband,' I'll let him be my little concubine and serve in bed. Every night, this old lady shall love and spoil him and make him give me a baby!"

 

Tian Yuan was cooking dumplings in the kitchen. He was embarrassed to hear these two brainless people's shameful dispute.

 

What's the deal with this older sister? She wants to stay here, so let her stay. It's not like I can refuse, even if this sister is famously unreliable.

 

This was a female bandit. His poor mother-in-law was only edified, but the only other natural bandit besides Pan Lei was Pan Yue.

 

Pan Lei dialed Tian Yuan's number. His sister had definitely bullied him. Pan Lei began muttering peevishly as soon as the call was connected.

 

"Everyone in the world despises that shrew."

 

"Hey! Don’t say that."

 

Tian Yuan shut the kitchen door behind him. It was wrong of Pan Lei to remark so. Pan Yue was flesh and blood to him. How could he say such a thing?

 

"Oh, my baby, you have no idea she's not a woman at all! She and I have been fighting since we were children. I've always beaten Huang Kai and Lin Mu, but this woman has been tough since she was a kid. She scratched my face and pulled my hair. Every time I battled with her, I got hurt. Dolls and the like are popular among little girls, right? But do you know what this girl did? She dismembered her dolls! She detested girly things even as a child. Can you guess what she liked? She preferred catching toads, worms, and snakes to playing with me!

 

Since she was 18, her dream lover has been a modest and mild person. Her ideal lover is that Keanu Reeves fella, gentle like jade, mild-mannered, and a little melancholic. She falls head over heels in love the moment she sees a good-looking intellectual man. She pursued her university lecturer and scared him into going abroad. She also chased her university senior, who was too frightened to like women once she was done, so my grandfather enlisted him in the army.

 

She took off her military uniform and began running around the world after sulking for many years. My family's darling is so endearing, calm, handsome, a wonderful person, and upright. Her tastes are similar to mine, and she will undoubtedly steal you from me. Baby, don't pay attention to her and don't cook for her. Just  drive her away! I spoke with my commanding officer, but he refused to give me permission to travel abroad again and ordered me to wait a month. But I'm worried! What shall I do if that woman gobbles up you? You know, that's the Old Black Mountain Demon. But she desires Ning Caichen rather than Nie Xiaoqian[1]."

 

Tian Yuan burst out laughing as he spoke. Yeah, I see you both have similar preferences. You're both bandits.

 

"How I wish I had come to see you a few days later. I’d be able to protect you from that pervert’s bullying. How about you go stay with He Lian and give that witch our house? I'm really afraid that you’ll be taken advantage of."

 

"Enough already. She’ll just be here for a few days. What are you getting riled up about? She's just kidding."

 

It was unnecessary for an adult to take a fight between two children seriously.

 

"Just kidding? She vowed to take you to bed tonight and to sleep with you every night."

 

"Unlikely. You’re being oversensitive."

 

"Baby, she’ll conduct counter-surveillance, so keep the windows and doors shut tight. You must be careful! Make sure you put the high-voltage stun baton under your pillow. The switch is on the stun baton’s left side. Simply flip the switch to discharge the current. You can stun her with a single click."

 

Tian Yuan felt helpless. That’s your own sister, you know. Your prank might kill her, okay?

 

"How long should the dumplings be cooked?"

 

"When the water begins to boil, add a little cold water, let it boil again, add cold water, let it boil again, and it's done. Could you please concentrate? I'm telling you something serious."

 

"I'll be really busy these days. The professor wishes to take us to prominent hospitals to observe surgeries. Do you think I'll be able to entertain her? When she gets bored, she'll leave. Please don't let your imagination run wild."

 

What a petty guy! Whenever he saw a man or a woman around Tian Yuan, he became anxious. He could beat him up if it was a guy, but if it was a girl, he could only warn her and worry himself to death. Wasn't it like 101 Dalmatians to send his family's adorable kitten to a witch?

 

That witch will devour my family's baby and leave nothing but his bones behind.

 

So scary, so worrying.

 

During dinner, He Lian buried his head in his bowl and shoveled the food. Pan Lei's cooking was excellent, and the dumplings were delicious. Tian Yuan was also eating, but Pan Yue ate a dumpling, drank a sip of wine, chewed a garlic clove, glanced at Tian Yuan, and grinned. She played a bit of the footsie game, which bewildered and panicked Tian Yuan.

 

In truth, Pan Yue was rather pretty. It was only that she was a little too tanned, exuded too much banditry, and was a touch too casual.

 

Tian Yuan had shut the door to his room and was going over the documents. Pan Yue was staying in the guest room, and he was in the master bedroom, which had nothing to do with each other.

 

Who would have imagined Pan Yue would take off her bra and panties, wrap a towel around her body, push open his bedroom door, and saunter in.

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Tian Yuan hurriedly grabbed the jacket on the side and slipped it on. He'd unbuttoned a few buttons on his shirt after entering the bedroom. He had no idea this lady would barge in like this!

 

He was on the verge of grabbing the quilt and wrapping himself in it. He had a strong probability of becoming the one being molested.

 

"I’m borrowing your bathroom for a shower. You continue."

 

Keep going, my foot! A woman entered his bedroom and bathroom, taking off her clothes as she walked. She was about to remove the last piece of clothing when she arrived at the door. Tian Yuan felt compelled to flee.

 

He sneakily took the phone and dialed Pan Lei, asking what he should do. Nobody could live with such a woman!

 

"Damn! Her uncle! She came right in huh. I’m telling Grandma that my older sister is plotting to snatch my lover. Oh Tian'er, my baby, hurry up and pack your things! Stay at He Lian's house. Don’t come back until she’s gone! Let her play crazy by herself at home. If she makes a mess of the house, I’ll clean it up when I come. Hurry up and leave! It’ll be too late otherwise!"

 

Pan Lei began to hop around. Tian Yuan acted quickly. He grabbed the computer bag, a few clothes, and his coat and prepared to flee. This woman was far too great. He simply couldn't handle it. No wonder some men are so afraid of women that they fail to like them! He guessed that after being traumatized by someone like this, even a manly man would be afraid to accept women.

 

This pal leaned against the bathroom door, her hair loose and her body covered in a bath towel, before he could leave.

 

"Hey handsome, why are you leaving?"

 

Tian Yuan shuddered. He was terrified of living with this woman. Dr. Li, the intern, Mama Dang Hong, and now this Pan Yue... These four women were simply representatives of different types of women, but each of their dispositions were such that he couldn't take it.

 

"I… I'm heading to school! I need to double-check certain data."

 

He fastened the last button of his jacket as if his life depended on it. Even at the beginning of their acquaintance, Pan Lei had never made him feel this nervous. He was a bandit at the time as well, but he was certainly different from this type of bandit.

 

"It's too late to go anywhere. Please let’s go to bed, okay."

 

Pan Yue took Tian Yuan's arm and slowly dragged him back. Tian Yuan tried everything he could to break away. He now realized how awful it was for Nie Xiaoqian to be caught and hauled away by the Old Black Mountain Demon.

 

"Eldest Sister, men and women should not touch hands when they give or receive things[2]. You, you better stop teasing me."

 

Pan Yue stroked Tian Yuan's face a few times before softly blowing air on him. Tian Yuan was terrified and desperately wanted to wrap his entire head in his jacket. He trembled uncontrollably. He'd never been harassed by a beautiful vixen before. Pan Lei, the ultra-large pervert wolf, had always attacked him.

 

"Oh handsome, you don't know how much I've admired men like you since I was a child. Mild mannered, modest, and overall possessing a clean temperament like Xu Zhimo - a stunning scholar and noble. Pan Lei, that bandit, is not for you. Follow this older sister, okay? This older sister will make certain that you live like a prince, eating and drinking well and dressed in silk."

 

Tian Yuan gave a stiff smile. The Pan family was rife with bandits. From old to young, they were all bandits. Even the women were bandits!

 

Pan Lei was at least a little more subtle when he was pursuing him. "Be with me," he'd said. "I'll spoil you, cherish you, and treat you as if you were an ancestor. I'll pamper you and love you for the rest of my life."

 

Tian Yuan vigorously drew his hand back, but this woman was a superwoman after all. Pulling his hand was equivalent to trying to release it from a tightly locked clamp.

 

"Eldest Sister, Pan Lei and I have a wonderful life. We also eat good food, drink well, and wear well-known labels. We don’t lack anything. You, you should let go. I'm leaving."

 

Women are tigers, and he had just met a dinosaur.

 

Pan Yue began untying his clothing, her perfume reminiscent of orchids. Tian Yuan desperately averted his head away from her.

 

Pan Lei, you a$$hole, why didn't you tell me clearly that your family’s female bandits are even tougher than you!?

 

"Older Sister will take good care of you."

 

Tian Yuan couldn't take it anymore. He would not return to this house as long as Pan Yue was still here, even if he was battered to death. I'm done with you! Tian Yuan shoved Pan Yue aside, hugged his computer bag, and escaped. He dashed down the stairs and sprinted all the way to He Lian's house. This woman was too wicked, too scary. Who was the most ferocious Pan? It was neither Grandpa Pan nor Grandma Pan, nor was it Pan Lei. It was this Lady Devil.

 

Pan Yue scoffed and took off her bath towel. A pair of tight-fitting sports undergarments was inside. She took out her phone and dialed Pan Lei's number.

 

"You should take care of your family's hubby. His physique is abysmal, and he is impotent towards women. I knew it would be impossible for such a good man to be with you. Because of his health issues, he had no choice but to give in to you."

 

"F*ck you! He's perfectly fine, thank you. You frightened him so much. Just you wait."

 

"Hey! I'm your only sister, you little ba$tard. I just want to put his devotion to you to the test. You are, after all, in China. You know crap even if you come once a month. Even if he's with a hundred women behind your back, you won't know. I was virtually naked and he still ignored me and bolted. This can indicate one of two things. First, he remains faithful to you and will not mess around behind your back. Second, are you sure he is not impotent or suffering from a male condition such as premature ejaculation? A naked, lovely woman is in his arms, and he isn't even tempted? He clearly has some health issues."

 

Pan Lei was triumphant. Pan Yue and Pan Lei had made a wager. Pan Yue stated that she did not believe Tian Yuan could resist the allure of a woman because his first experience with love was being kidnapped by Pan Lei. He used to like women before encountering this bandit. Pan Lei, on the other hand, believed it was impossible. As a result, they made a bet. Pan Yue was in charge of seducing Tian Yuan to observe how he reacted. Pan Lei easily won.

 

"My baby loves me and only me. You are a b!tch, so of course he won’t even look at you."

[1] These three people are from the A Chinese Ghost Story franchise. I don't know enough about the story to elaborate.

[2] As per Mencius’s writings. He was a Confucian scholar.

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