Chapter 233: 233

Chapter 233 Kneel down and formally propose

 

Pan Lei gripped Tian Yuan's hand intently, no longer joking or teasing him, and looked at him intently.

 

"Everyone is aware that we live as a couple. My parents, his parents, and all of our family support our relationship. We argue and fight because I have a nasty temper. He can be really irritating at times, and makes my liver hurt in anger, and given my temper, I really want to beat him up. But I won't do it. I can't bear it because he's my treasure."

 

Pan Lei smiled, a little self-conscious. Even someone like him felt awkward talking about love in front of so many people.

 

"I, too, irritate him. In the middle of the night, he became enraged and grabbed a scalpel to enforce family rules on me. He kicks and bites me, and I put up with it. I actually enjoy it when he smacks me.

 

Some argue that you can't spoil him like this. If you pamper him too much, he will climb on your head and bully you. If he is disobedient, beat him. If you don't control your wife, she will walk all over you. You must never allow this to happen. But if he bullies me, yelling and screaming, it's because of my spoiling. I enjoy seeing him arrogant and proud; I want him to be happier than everyone else.

 

I was the one who first bothered him. He resisted and stated categorically that he would not fall in love with a man, but I just dragged him to my side and forced him to love only me. Is it wrong for me to love and spoil him? It was all my fault from the start. I should not have forced him to accept me.

 

He only shows his temper in front of me, which I like about him. In front of everyone, he is gentle and courteous, but in front of me, he is a child, which means there is no alienation between us and we get along well."

 

This was how they interacted. They laughed and played, fought and yelled, but their sentiments were intense.

 

"We love one another. Don't claim he's gained a lot out of it or that he's been soaked in a honeypot[1]. After all, I am the happiest person on the planet. I am the one in a honeypot because he always gives more than I do.

 

I have a special job that prevents me from being by his side every day. When he becomes ill, I am unable to care for him. A couple should face everything together, but I am not by his side when he needs me the most. I owe him too much. In any given month, I have very little time to return home and see him. He simply protects the house and waits for me in silence. He's always waiting for me at home, no matter when I return. He keeps watch over our home and over me, waiting patiently. He bears the silence, loneliness, and emptiness on his own. I coax and spoil him when I get home, but it's not enough. After all, I spend far too little time at home, while he spends most of his time alone. I understand how difficult it is for him; I owe him a lifetime.

 

He's a strong and competitive individual. He loves his job and enjoys learning new things. He gets busy and stays up late writing papers ignoring everyone's advice. People sometimes want to knock him out because of his stubbornness. I know why he is so preoccupied with work. It's because it's too lonely at home. He returns home to cold and cheerless rooms. People can't stand it, no matter how great their psychological endurance is.

 

He is afraid and worried every time I leave on a mission. Only when I return will he truly feel relieved. He's always scared I'll say "wait for my return," but I won't come back even if he waits his entire life. He was anxious and scared, but he said nothing. During my time on a mission, he would rather sit on the window ledge and smoke, and he couldn't sleep until he received word that I was safe. I can't even provide him with a stable life, accompany him, or reassure him. In short, I am a terrible lover, and I owe him far too much."

 

Pan Lei's voice was a little nasal and low. He watched Tian Yuan with longing and obsession.

 

Tian Yuan's nostrils tingled. Why are you saying all this? This was how the pair went about their life. You execute the missions, and I will be waiting for you at home.

 

You’ve always loved me so much. I’m very satisfied that you’ve loved me so dearly, and there’s no such thing as a debt. We'll be together for the rest of our lives since we're lovers.

 

"He has always been there for me. In fact, he wishes I would leave the army. At the very least, I won't have to endanger life and limb, and his life will be serene and free of worry about me. But he never told me this. When I lost contact in battle the last time, he rushed to find me with the intention of dying with me, and he suffered greatly. When he had a high fever, he was so confused that he cried and told me, you are alive, I will follow you, and if you die, I'll still follow you. Don't leave me behind; I'll go wherever you go. My heart ached like it had been wrung as I listened to him say that. How much pain does the person I love the most carry in his heart? Everyone thinks my pampering of him is limitless, but what he gives me is absolute tolerance. Why can't I let him enjoy a steady life if he can die with me? I told him I'd request for a transfer and no longer lead the operations team, but he kept persuading me that I shouldn't let myself down. Look, he'd rather worry than let me wrong myself. I really wanted to ask him at the time, what about you, do you want to wrong yourself? I don’t want him to be wronged. He can bear it, but I can't."

 

Pan Lei's voice was a little choked up. Tian Yuan lowered his head, tears streaming down his face. He never talked about how hard it was, and he never let Pan Lei know all the heartache he had endured. He was afraid that Pan Lei would have a burden on his heart, and that he would make mistakes when performing tasks.

 

Pan Lei was a boorish nutjob most of the time, but that didn’t mean he didn’t have a heart. He saw it all and felt sorry. He adored and cherished the person he cared about.

 

Many people in the audience had bloodshot eyes. Falling in love with soldiers was challenging, and falling in love with special forces was even more difficult. Many people did not understand the hardships involved, but after hearing Pan Lei's account, they realized Tian Yuan had been through a lot. But the couple remained steadfast in their love and would stick by one other through thick and thin. Even if Tian Yuan had all he wished for and could indulge in thrills and desires, the happiest thing for him was Pan Lei returning safely and remaining with him for the rest of his life.

 

"He is a really calm individual. He occasionally kicks me, but only when I irritate him. I adore seeing him flip out because he's mad at me; he's so adorable. He is a devoted son. He looks after my parents, he looks after his parents, and he helps me do what I can't. He said, "You will be loyal and defend the country, and I will be filial and look after both parents." That's how attentive and kind he is. He has taken on all of my responsibilities.

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My parents want us to adopt a child, but I've given him all of my affections, which I can't share with anybody else. I've given him my undivided attention, but I don't think it's enough. I want him to be the happiest person on the planet. I want him to be happy, to have a good life, and to live with me without regrets for the rest of his life.

 

I always feel like I don't love him enough, and that I owe him something. However, he never complained about me. He is a wonderful man. I won him by deception, and having him is the greatest blessing in my life."

 

Pan Lei was almost in tears. This was his beloved, and he couldn't convey how wonderful Tian Yuan was even if he tried. He was so excellent that he was thankful to God every day.

 

"Stop, please stop. Don't make it so sensational. What is a mature man crying for? So ugly."

 

Tian Yuan persuaded him, pleading with him not to speak. It was enough for him to remember it in his heart. He knew Pan Lei's heart was full of him, and it was a good thing he knew this.

 

Pan Lei knelt on one knee and grasped his hand in his. Tian Yuan hurried to help him up. Don't do this; there are so many people here. This was unnecessary between them. You love, adore, and spoil me, and that is enough.

 

"I've let you down, baby. I have to make you wait for me for twenty years before I can retire and spend my days and nights with you at home. Will you stay with me forever, even if I owe you so much? I'll treat you twice as well, and I'll make everyone envy you. I love you, baby. I only love you."

 

Tian Yuan supported him using his arm. His eyes were moist, and he smiled. An entirely satisfied smile.

 

"Ge, didn't we agree that no matter how many years pass, I will always follow you? I'll follow you if you're alive. I will heal you if you are hurt. I will accompany you if you die. We promised that whether we went to Heaven or Hell, neither of us would let go of the other for the rest of our lives. It is enough for me to have you. Really, I can only be happy with you. Don't think you owe me anything. We're in love, and there are no debts between us. I will wait for you for twenty or thirty years, as long as you like the army. You will love me until death separates us. I love you and will always love you."

 

"We shall always be together in the future."

 

Tian Yuan drew him up and wrapped him in his arms. Pan Lei embraced him tightly. Pan Lei was probably crying for the first time in front of so many people. They were fierce men who bled but never cried. Nonetheless, he sobbed. He hugged Tian Yuan, buried his head in Tian Yuan’s shoulder, and said in a choked voice only Tian Yuan could hear, "Baby, I'm unworthy of you. I owe you. I’ll be good to you; I’ll always treat you well."

 

Tian Yuan stroked his back, as though coaxing a kid. "I know, I know. You’ll do everything you say, I know."

 

The hall erupted in applause, and everyone was moved. Those commandos had red eyes, and the women began wiping away their tears over and over. Those high-ranking officers, too, had furrowed brows and admired them. Perhaps some people attended this wedding because they were compelled to give the Pans face, but after they did, they realized that no matter what kind of relationship someone has, as long as there is love, you shouldn't question it too much. It was important to be tolerant and accepting.

 

Strong and heartfelt love does not have to be limited to TV shows. Don't believe that the so-called love-hate entanglement can only occur between heterosexual couples. They believed in each other, promised to love each other for the rest of their lives, and vowed that they would never change till death. This was unquestionably more worthy of praise than those people. I’m committed to you; you’re the only one for me.

 

Pan Lei always felt that he didn't love Tian Yuan enough, that he gave him too little, that he hadn't done enough. He spoiled him, cherished him, treated him as the apple of his eye, sought the best for him, and valued him more than his own life. It was a life-changing love.

 

In truth, it makes no difference who you fall in love with or what gender they are. What matters is whether you can stay together for the rest of your lives, and neither of you should let go halfway. Just stay with me this way, and let's keep loving like this. Whatever happens in the future, whether it's love or family affection, if I've put my heart on you, we'll be together for a lifetime.

 

It is said that the more you love, the more you suffer. Why not make love a little sweeter, a little more tolerant, and a lifetime of laughing and playing, arguing and being loud? Tolerate each other and love will last forever.

Footnotes:

[1] fig. comfortable living conditions; privileged environment.

Translator:

 

 

I teared up ( ب_ب )

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