Chapter 51: 51

Chapter 51 Baby, say you miss me

 

Pan Lai called at least once a day. When Tian Yuan went to surgery, he turned off the phone so Pan Lei called every five minutes until the call was answered.

 

Tian Yuan was occasionally irritated by him and would call and chastise him, but every time they talked, Tian Yuan could always hear a throng of people laughing, some shouting, and some crying "Captain, you're acting too sweet! It's hateful to abuse us bachelors in this way, ah!"

 

One day, he worked until ten o'clock at night, and he was so exhausted that he was simply laying on the bed in a daze when Pan Lei called.

 

"Don't mess with me. I'm so tired, I just want to sleep." Tian Yuan pressed the phone to his ear. He was exhausted and lacked the energy to listen to Pan Lei's nonsense.

 

"Tian'er, if I was by your side, you wouldn’t have suffered. I would’ve massaged your muscles, washed your feet, and made sure you sleep well."

 

Pan Lei felt extremely upset. Tian Yuan's voice sounded sluggish, indicating that he was fatigued. The hospital appeared to be a fantastic place to work, but he was well aware of how difficult it was. His mother didn't leave work on time while he was a child, whether for advanced studies, surgery, or writing a thesis. His family's wife did not know how to refuse people. He would not complain even if he operated two days in a row as long as the hospital arranged for them.

 

"Since you're not here, aren't you making me even angrier by saying this?"

 

This kind of isolation between them was really inconvenient. Pan Lei would not be able to come to him even if he was exhausted, lonely, and depressed, or if he had difficulties.

 

"You miss me, right? Do you miss me, Tian'er?"

 

Tian Yuan remained silent, thinking ‘Why won’t I?’. Especially when he came home late from work and sat alone on the last bus home. The house felt frigid the instant he entered the door, which made him miss Pan Lei even more. The home would be alive with enthusiasm if Pan Lei were present. The sound of pots and pans, his sloppy jokes, and his cheekily acting cute and coquettish were all excellent methods to relieve Tian Yuan's fatigue.

 

"I miss you so terribly, especially now, when you're pitifully whimpering about being exhausted to me. I can't wait to rush over to you, take care of you, and serve you a bowl of hot beef silk noodles. However, I must request leave a week in advance. If I sneak out now to find you, I will be punished the next day. I don't think I can see you right now, Tian'er."

 

Pan Lei was likewise full of complaints. He worked in a unique field. He had to report to his bosses for leave and other things. Even though the military district commander was an old subordinate of his grandfather, whom he addressed as "uncle," he couldn't take the lead in making blunders. Pan Lei was confident that if his grandfather discovered that he had left the barracks in breach of military order, he would let him run a hundred kilometers with a heavy load.

 

"Stay there honestly. Don't screw around."

 

"I miss you terribly, but you don't even think about me. Do you genuinely not miss me, Tian'er? Do you not miss me at all?"

 

Tian Yuan paused again, pondering his words; he didn't know how to convey them. He couldn't express all of his emotions like Pan Lei.

 

"Just tell me you miss me, baby. That I'm not the only one who feels this way."

 

Tian Yuan reddened but remained silent.

 

"Tell me, baby, tell me you miss me too. I'll finish the training as soon as feasible and return to you as soon as possible. When I go home, I'll treat you like an ancestor and take excellent care of you. You also want me to return early, correct? Do you want me to return soon?"

 

‘I hope he returns soon, to be at my side, to laugh and quarrel and converse with me; all will be OK; with him, loneliness and coldness will go away.'

 

"En." Tian Yuan spoke quietly, hoping that Pan Lei would return soon. That was their one and only wish.

 

Pan Lei was immediately uplifted. "Then tell me you miss me. Darling, tell me you miss me."

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Everyone experiences insomnia from time to time, especially in the middle of the night. A lonely night, when the entire world fell asleep, and you see it shrouded in darkness, only yourself having your eyes wide open. At the time, all of the depressed loneliness breaks through the shackles, quickly sweeps through, and causes you to suffer. Tian Yuan, in particular, desired someone to speak to him; even if he simply hugged and accompanied him, he would feel more at ease.

 

That is the period, the time of loneliness, when people are most vulnerable.

 

'I miss him. I want to listen to him, and I want to do everything I never dared to do before. I want him to know that I am exhausted, that I am working hard, and that I require his care and support.'

 

"I miss you." [T/N: at long last]

 

In this lonely, dark night, I miss you.

 

I miss you and really need your support.

 

I miss you, I miss you terribly, and I want you to come right away, to help me get rid of my loneliness.

 

Pan Lei let out a sigh of relief. That was a challenging task to do. His family was awkward, and he had a hard mouth. He never said anything that made him want to jump up and down. His heart felt as if it suddenly sprouted wings and took flight. His blood pressure rose as a result of his excitement. He wished he could rush out of the barracks, drive to Tian Yuan’s house, break in, hold him tightly, and kiss him. It didn't matter when it was unspoken, but when Tian Yuan admitted it, Pan Lei felt as if he had been struck by lightning. He was numb and trembling uncontrollably.

 

‘Yay! My Tian'er, my darling, you make me love you too much to give you up. I want to lift you on top of my head [show off] and proclaim to the world - This is my Tian'er, the one who drives me insane.'

 

"Baby, you are tired, so go to bed. I will try my best to meet you as soon as possible. We won’t be separated for long."

 

Pan Lei kept his cool and didn't yell out loud. This was a joyous occasion for him. He was so excited that he wanted to stand on the command platform and scream out to everyone in the barracks, saying, ‘Tian Yuan said he missed me! He is missing me, and he likes me!’

 

It was midnight, and Pan Lei couldn't disobey military rules out of enthusiasm. He could only keep himself in check. Although excitement filled his heart to overflowing, even dancing could not properly show how pleased he felt. He really wanted to run ten laps around the drill grounds while shouting.

 

"I'm having trouble sleeping. Sing a song for me."

 

Everyone who has served in the military can sing quite well. It was an old custom to sing a song before dinner. Tian Yuan, on a whim, requested that Pan Lei sing a song.

 

"All right, I'll sing for you and you can listen to it as a lullaby."

 

Pan Lei cleared his throat and dropped his voice. He couldn't sing The Internationale, he couldn't sing and learn from Lei Feng's proper example, and he couldn't sing a little white poplar at the moment. The green flower in the army was the most appropriate.[1]

 

The melody was delicate, and the singer's voice was purposefully low. Tian Yuan's gentle snoring sounded through the phone before the song ended.

 

"Good night, baby."

 

Pan Lei put down the phone, unable to contain his excitement, and screamed out loudly.

 

A dog barked in response to Pan Lei's wolf-like howl.

 

Footnotes:

[1] The Internationale is a left-wing anthem. It has been a standard of the socialist movement since the late 19th century. Lei Feng was made into a model of altruism and dedication to the Chinese Communist Party by propaganda. Little White Poplar is a song and album. 'Green flower in the army' is also a song.

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