Chapter 156: Chapter 144 – Siblings

During my way back to the residence, I had calmed down more or less. When I thought back about what I did, I felt a little bit embarrassed. That was totally out of my character, no wonder Mary and Jane were so flustered and kept asking me if I was alright.

I took a look at the unknown jewel from the fallen meteorite that I brought back with me. It was pretty, so perhaps I could make a necklace out of it as a memento?

Yeah, let’s do that once I return.

 

Upon my return to the residence, I called a maid and instructed them to handle the jewel embedded in the meteorite and make it as a necklace. The maid obviously expressed her confusion, but I paid no mind to it.

And what awaited me during my return was...

 

“What did you think you were doing?”

Mother asked me in a reprimanding tone after she heard what happened from Mary and Jane.

“...,” I had no words to return to her. What was I supposed to say here? There’s no way I could say that I didn’t want to live as Reinst and purposely went to seek death so I could reincarnate as Lyra—based on the memories I had?

In the first place, how did I dream of that during when I was in a comatose? It also felt real and...Wait, that’s right. In that ‘dream’, I got to know various things that was so unfamiliar to me, things I would have never known. A dream should be constructed from what we knew, right? So—

“Reinst. Answer me,” Mother’s words brought me back to reality. Even Domi, who was next to Mother, almost jumped in fright and hid himself behind Mother’s skirt. How odd, Mother was the one who raised her voice, yet he was hiding near Mother...I couldn’t understand children.

But that’s right, now isn’t the right time to be pondering over anything else.

 

“...I’m sorry,” I said as I bowed. Yes, I couldn’t say anything other than this.

“Sigh...Did the meteor shower traumatize you? I can’t think of any other explanation than this,” Mother speculated.

“Kind of,” I ambiguously answered.

“In any case, it’s good that you’re alright. We can’t afford having the same accident happening again. Thank goodness Mary and Jane were with you. The meteor shower was really unexpected, be it last year and this year,” Mother continued on, “You have to prepare really well for your fourteenth birthday. Practice in the few days you have left.”

“I understand, Mother,” I said.

“Oh, that’s right,” Mother said as if she just remembered something, “It’s said that the royal family will be discussing about engagement in your fourteenth birthday. It is really our blessing. Things have started to get better after you woke up.”

 

I stood there, frozen.

Engagement talk with the royal family?

That meant...King Titus—I meant, Prince Titus and me...?

But Titus-sama has Shaula-sama in his heart...

Wait! When did they meet and fall in love again...?

 

“Therefore, we couldn’t afford to make any mistake in your fourteenth birthday celebration. Got it?” Mother asked as she flipped her folding fan.

“Understood,” I said, but my mind was still wandering over what I knew based on the memories I had as Lyra...

 

After I got back to my room, I sank to my bed and my thoughts.

If Titus-sama’s fated maiden was indeed Shaula-sama, where would that put me? Let’s say that he hasn’t met and fallen for her right now, that’s why the talk about my engagement with the royal family came up. But what will happen in the future when the two of them meet? Will my engagement be broken and what will become of me?

That’s way too complicated and disadvantageous...Although I have to admit that it’s better than having Titus-sama marry me then bring Shaula-sama back as his beloved wife, leaving me as an abandoned queen.

...Nevertheless, both scenarios are troubling me and I wouldn’t want that to happen.

 

Moreover...if the two of them don’t get together...

Luca and Leticia’s faces flashed my mind.

If Titus-sama and Shaula-sama don’t end up together, the two children won’t ever exist.

Should I make the two of them meet before the engagement’s settled?

But I don’t personally know the two of them, especially Shaula...We never really met, I guess.

But my fourteenth birthday is said to be a special birthday as it will commemorate my miraculous waking up, so Shaula should attend...right? She should be thirteen or fourteen—the same age as me—and as an adult, she should socialize more.

Alright, logically speaking, she should be there. Let’s talk to her during my birthday party and let her meet Titus-sama. Let fate dictate our destiny.

 

A question flashed my mind right after that.

Will Luca and Leticia really be born in this future if I were to do that? Or are they just what my mind made up during my dream?

And what about me next? If I weren’t engaged to Titus-sama, what should I do? I’ve spent all my life just so I could become the next queen.

Darn it, I really am in a tough spot right now...

In times like this...Should I let my heart decide?

If so, then...

Again, the faces of the friends I had as Lyra passed in my mind.

With that, I knew what I should do.

 

And with one question settled, I could move on to the next question.

Which is the reality, my current situation or my ‘dream’ as Lyra?

Anyway, what’s the last memory I have as Lyra?

No matter how hard I tried to recall, nothing came up in my mind. It’s blurry.

I felt like I could finally make sense of everything if only I could recall my last memories as Lyra, shortly before I woke up as Reinst.

But how could I recall my memories?

Think...think...

What triggered my memories to recover?

It was...the meteor shower.

And the connection to my memories was...that I experienced meteor shower before.

Something familiar...

 

You are reading story I Didn’t Even Want to Live, But God Forced Me to Reincarnate! at novel35.com

If that’s the case, if I were to encounter familiar things as Lyra, would I have more clues to my memories?

If so, then...I will have plenty of chances during my fourteenth birthday.

 

After rearranging my thoughts and deciding on what I should do next, I...was still anxious, to be honest. I had no idea what was going on, this was killing me.

Don’t worry, don’t worry. Things will be alright. Everything has a cause, and I will definitely figure out what’s going on.

I said in my heart, trying to calm myself down.

And deep within my heart, the ‘mini me’ also said.

I want to go back to my life as Lyra. Please, God...Aion-sama, I hope that’s possible...

Thankfully, I had no agenda today, so I focused on calming myself down. For starting tomorrow, I got to review my etiquette and mannerism and practice dancing for my fourteenth birthday party.

 

***

 

“What’s the matter?”

Clyde’s voice brought me back to reality.

Currently, Clyde and I were rehearsing our dances. For some reason, Mother wasn’t against me coming in touch with Clyde. Perhaps it was because she was happy I would be engaged to the prince and so, nothing else mattered anymore.

I was dancing to the melody and had my body on autopilot as my mind pondered over things again. Clyde noticed that and helped bring me back to reality. Luckily, my autopilot was good that I didn’t make any wrong move, but the fact that Clyde noticed my mind wasn’t here was no good. I shouldn’t be like this in front of others.

 

“...Nothing,” I said as I couldn’t say anything in my mind.

This kinda frustrated me. It was like how as Lyra, I had no one else I could tell about the weighs of my mind due to it being related to my past life as Reinst.

Yes, I wanted to discuss this with someone else, to be honest, but I didn’t want anyone call me weird or crazy.

 

“...If you have something bothering your mind, you can tell it to me. We’re siblings, you know? Isn’t that what siblings are for?” Clyde suddenly dropped a bomb on me.

I quickly looked up at him and was surprised.

We had a history of being rivals and our relationship wasn’t that great. However, I could see that Clyde was trying to mend things between us.

Did he want a good sibling relationship? Could it be he saw other siblings getting along and kind of wanted that too?

If so, I could understand how he felt. For I sometimes became envious when I looked at other siblings getting along so well.

The corner of my mouth hooked up slightly into a smile.

“Thanks, I’ll keep that in mind.”

Now I understand why I could see Clyde’s sincerity. My memories as Lyra taught me that and I...wanted to think of that as the truth.

 

When we were taking a break from the dancing rehearsal, I noticed a small figure peeping through the door. His amber eyes were the same as mine and Clyde’s, and his curly brown hair resembled Mother so much.

...

I resented him from the moment he was born, but didn’t that child have no fault? It wasn’t his fault he was born as my little brother. Just like how I wasn’t at fault for being born as a girl when Mother desired a boy.

The figure of my younger siblings—Lyra’s younger siblings, Freyr and Freyja flashed in my mind.

I got along so well with them, I liked seeing them smile.

Why couldn’t I be like that with Domi, too?

Again, the corner of my mouth hooked up in a smile as I decided on something.

 

“Domi, come here,” I called out to Domi, who was evidently surprised.

“It’s okay, come here. Wanna try dancing?” I called out again, in the softest tone I could.

Come to think of it, Domi had started his training as a noble and...when was the last time I saw him smiling? I couldn’t remember that at all.

...Doesn’t that make him similar to me, having to live a serious life, for he was destined to be the head of the family in the future?

But a child ought to have fun and smile. That was what my—Lyra’s parents taught me. One normally only experienced one childhood, and one had to make it count.

 

Although Domi was scared at first, he slowly came up to me.

After he came up to me, I grabbed both of his hands and led him to a dance along with the melody.

“Follow my lead,” I said as I playfully danced with him.

Domi had a look of surprise on his face, but he really followed me.

I smiled looking at him trying to follow me—his face was really something else.

Perhaps sensing that, Domi also laughed.

At this moment, the melody was also perfect, so I tried to slightly lift Domi up.

“And you’re now flying! Fufufu,” I said with a smile.

“Hwaa! I’m flying!” Domi also laughed.

 

When I glanced over at Clyde who was suddenly excluded, I could see him staring at us dumbfounded, before his expression softened and he broke out in a smile.

“Hey, you two! Let me join!” Clyde suddenly demanded as he came between us.

“Domi, let’s ignore Clyde!” I said as I led Domi away from Clyde, who was chasing after us.

In the end, Clyde managed to catch us and the three of us linked hands in a playful dance.

 

That day, the rehearsal room was full of laughter, unlike how it usually was.

Though I should take things more seriously like Mother said, I felt like days like this wasn’t so bad at all.

 

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