I Didn’t Even Want to Live, But God Forced Me to Reincarnate!

Chapter 51: Chapter 44.5 – Cyan’s “Blessing”


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Let’s rewind back time a bit, on that certain night, after the discovery of Lyra’s aptitude in swordsmanship and before Cyan started to give Lyra his “blessing” for the entrance exams!

Lyra’s parents both had something to discuss—and obviously, they locked their room’s door before discussing it.

 

“After we confirmed that Lyra indeed had a memory of her past life, a vivid one at that, I thought that we found another clue.”

Cass said that as she browsed through things on her Provice.

“True, do you think we should confront her, Cass?”

Cyan tried to take a look at what Cass was browsing.

 

“Wait no, this article written by a psychologist advised parents against asking too many questions that might upset the children or made them lie instead. We should carefully note her statements if we caught any.”

“This is making me nervous… Is Lyra really…?”

Before Cyan managed to complete his sentence, Cassie pushed her index finger to his lips.

 

 

“Ssssh, she never talks about it to us. This article here recorded that some of the children talked about their spontaneous past memory recollection with their parents. I wonder what set Lyra different…”

“Cass, I think we should really—”

Cyan was given no chance to continue his sentence.

 

 

“Ah, this article stated that most children who had past memories would stop talking about it and would have their memories fading away by the time they entered school. It was rare for those memories to persist. But that is the case with those children, and I think our Lyra is kinda different.”

Cassie continued to talk about her findings from the articles she read, as Cyan would take a glance at it, as well.

 

“Cass, I think she was related in one way or another to the household of G—”

“It is said that their personality and trauma could be affected by their past memories, but anyway, those parents shared that they tried to be supportive to those children and told them to differentiate fantasy or their past self from the current life, encouraging them to live as their present identity. In most cases, those children would forget they ever talked about their past memories and others once they grew up.”

 

“Well, I think we can narrow down the area where she—”

“Ssshhh, wait, I’m reading!”

Cassie paid no attention to Cyan and continued to read aloud the article on her Provice. Cyan was speechless as Cassie managed to cut him down several times in succession.

He decided to keep silent for awhile before noticing that Cassie stopped reading and closed her eyes to rest them up a bit, so he opened his mouth, this time.

 

“But those children’s behaviors and signs are quite different than Lyra, don’t you think? Maybe their reincarnation types are different. The Greatest Magician’s case also deviated from the one you’re reading—”

“Then, what do you think we should do, anyway?”

Cassie closed the Provice she was intently staring at and rolled herself on the bed. Also, she didn’t let Cyan finish his words before speaking over him, for how many times already this night?

 

“Want to investigate on the identity of her past self?” Cyan asked.

“Aren’t you afraid to find that out, though? Aren’t you afraid of finding out that she was someone else before?” Cassie rolled her eyes.

“That’s… true, but in any case… Reincarnation existed as the cycle of life and death. It just happens that some still have their past memories intact, but their identities are… are not their past incarnations. I think we can better understand Lyra by knowing her past identity, no? And while she may not even understand it herself, we can gain a better understanding of any of her past trauma and help her solve it.”

“As long as you don’t whine on how Lyra might not be your past self’s daughter even when you don’t have any slightest clue on who you were in your past life, if your soul was indeed reincarnated,” Cassie threw a pillow on Cyan.

“I know, I know, I have prepared myself for the last two years, you know?!” Cyan skillfully caught the pillow.

 

 

“If we can help Lyra to be happier now, then it’s fine. No matter who she was in her past incarnation, she is now our Lyra. Reincarnation is not something odd. I don’t know who I was in my past life, but I know that I am now Cyan. Who cares even if the dreams I had were my past self’s memories? And I don’t care who you were, but you are now Cassie, my wife,” Cyan threw the pillow back on the bed and hugged Cassie.

“True. It’s not like our daughter was possessed by something else. Her development was constant and there was no sudden change. We can safely cross out that possibility,” Cassie thoughtlessly blurted that out and Cyan’s body stiffened.

"Wh-what did you read?"

Cyan was surprised by Cassie's sudden remark.

 

"Nothing, just contemplating on that one different search result when I asked about what to explain about a child who seemed to have another memory."

"L... Lyra might be possessed?"

"No, I have crossed out that possibility from my head when I read the signs long ago. I just suddenly thought of it."

Cass regretted blurting that out. She forgot that Cyan was more paranoid than her when it was about his family.

 

 

"Listen, what you said was right. Reincarnation is a natural process and Lyra is Lyra no matter who she might be in the past. Finding more about her past might help us to better understand her. If she is willing to explain everything, then good. I reckon she never talks about it with us because she wants to live as Lyra without having anything to do with her past life. So, everything will be fine, okay?"

Cassie tightened her hug to Cyan as if to emphasize it to him.

 

"So, I think we can narrow our findings with these criteria and find out about the possibly related people and see...," Cyan slightly calmed down and continued.

 

"Yeah, let's find out, but we will respect her decision of not wanting to divulge any relation to her past self but we should be able to help her overcome any of her past memory that might make her suffer if we have knowledge about her past life."

Cassie repeated their conclusion on the matter and decided to end the conversation.

 

With that, Cyan and Cassie are one step closer to find out Lyra's past self.

 

But Cassie never imagined that she would regret her slip of tongue right in the morning after their sleep.

 

“Lyra, look at me.”

Early in the morning, Cyan quickly seized Lyra as she lazily walked out from her room.

“What is it, Dad?”

“Who are you?”

Cyan asked with a serious expression that made Lyra surprised.

She blinked several times and only after a few seconds passed did she manage to open her mouth. But this was the words that exited her small mouth.

 

“…Dad, are you sick?”

 

To Lyra’s question, Papa Cyan’s answer was…

“Answer me. Introduce yourself properly, give me your complete basic information.”

With his serious expression as he tried to interrogate her, Lyra decided to give him what he wanted and see what he was aiming for!

 

“…? I am Alrescha Lyra Hartmann. I was born on Day 25 Month 7 Year 970, which means I turned six just recently. I’m living with my mom, dad, big brother, and several employees at my house… -long details omitted-”

“Good. That… consider that as a practice for your entrance interview!”

“…?”

Lyra tilted her head in confusion, but then she concluded that her father would want to help her practice for the entrance exams, so why not?

You are reading story I Didn’t Even Want to Live, But God Forced Me to Reincarnate! at novel35.com

 

“Eh, then Dad, let’s have this kind of practice again until my entrance interview. Please tell me what I should and should not say!”

Lyra innocently requested for more of this weirdness!

Cyan felt a bit guilty but he managed to smile and said, “Sure.”

 

However, instead of letting her go, Cyan continued to stare at Lyra, which made Lyra confused.

“Uhm…?”

“Hmm… Lyra, see this.”

Cyan took out a cross and pointed it at Lyra.

 

“…Uh, yes?”

“How do you feel?”

“…Nothing?”

Cyan then touched the cross lightly to Lyra’s forehead and Lyra’s chest.

 

“Dad…? Are you giving me your blessing for something?”

“Ah, yeah, it’s for your studies and training so that your entrance exam is going on well.”

“Thank you, Dad!” Lyra hugged Cyan softly.

To think that Dad would help me a lot in facing my entrance exams!

Lyra genuinely believed that and her chest became warm.

 

 

“Alright, the water should be ready. You should prepare yourself to take a bath.”

“Okay~!”

 

Before Lyra reached the bathroom, Cyan quickly went to Cassie’s side.

“Cass, have you purified the bath water as I have told you to?” Cyan then asked Cassie, who heaved a long, long sigh.

“Yes, I have. What’s wrong with you? I’m telling you, Lyra shows no sign of possession at all. Not today, not two years ago, not six years ago. I am a [Light] magic user, I can sense if someone’s cursing her or possessing her.”

“I just don’t want it if Lyra’s affected by nearby vengeful ghost or anything, so…”

Cassie glared at Cyan.

 

 

“No, this is just a precaution, precaution!!” Cyan quickly defended himself.

“I’m telling you, it’s affirmative that she’s only gifted and retained some memories of her past incarnation. Stop thinking of other things that will make you anxious.”

Cassie sighed. If only she was cooking right now, she would be cutting the meat or vegetables as if she wanted to kill someone.

 

 

Lyra quickly finished her bath and paused shortly upon seeing Cyan and Cassie on her way out.

“Mom, Dad, did we change something from our bath? The water today feels oddly more refreshing!! I like the water just now!”

“Really? Nothing changed… It might be your imagination? Or it might be our luck with the water this morning,” Cassie quickly answered—there’s no way she could let Lyra know about Cyan’s antics and more especially, the reason behind it! Moreover, there’s no way she would purify the bath water everyday…

“Ah really? Hmm, I see~”

Lyra left them while humming and drying her wet hair on the towel.

 

“…”

 

 

“See, I told you? Why did I comply with your ridiculous purification idea, anyway…,” Cassie rubbed her temples.

“Well, better safe than sorry, right?”

“Does that mean you doubted my judgment?!” Cassie shot a sharp glare at Cyan.

“No, not at all! Anyway, I will make sure to find out more about it.”

Cyan quickly tried anything he could do to coax his angered wife.

 

From that day onwards, Lyra would spend some of her time to ask Dad to look after her performance for the entrance exams~!

If anything, perhaps Cyan’s weird antics and his insecurities granted Lyra the chance to consult her (already-good) performance to him, and ask for simulations~

So, this can be counted as something good, more or less.

 

Altaire thought that it wasn’t weird for Lyra to be doing some practice, especially for her upcoming entrance exams.

After all, he also asked his parents’ opinions for his interview and magic exam.

If only he knew how weird the beginning of Lyra’s interview exam practice with Cyan was…

Though the only people who knew about it are Lyra, Cass, and Cyan.

 

 

Oddly enough, Lyra didn’t question anything. It might be because she was more used to Cyan right now, or it might also be due to her growing trust with her Dad.

If only she questioned how weird her dad’s actions actually were…

She might have obtained some hints about how her parents aren’t completely clueless about that secret of hers!

 

 

As Lyra passed her days as usual, Day 8 Month 7 finally arrived. Luca and Kiri were done with their exams. As much as Lyra wanted to visit them to probe more on the entrance exams, since it was not possible to visit on Day 8… and how she had to do her final preparations on Day 9, in the end, Lyra had no chance to do so.

To cheer herself up, Lyra talked in her mind.

 

[Congratulations, Lyra! You’re free from any spoiler about this year’s entrance exams! Aren’t you excited for tomorrow?]

…and smiled bitterly.

 

[Worry not, if you—as a formerly 13-year-old—didn’t manage to enter the special class, then who could?]

With that kind of mindset, Lyra was able to calm herself down and view Day 10 Month 7 as no challenge. Except for… having to socialize with the other children. She couldn’t help but get excited and worried about that part, as she was not a sociable person in the past.

 

 

Finally, the long-awaited day…

Day 10 Month 7 Year 976, is coming right ahead!

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