Chapter 12: Chapter 12

Arc 2

I woke up screaming, desperately clawing at my throat.

The sensation of the horrifying creature's sharp teeth ripping out my bare neck was still prominent in my mind. I could see its red eyes glaring at me through the fog as well as the awful, otherworldly the sounds of the horrible shrieks it made.

The horrible, unnatural motions it made as it rampaged through the streets and rooftops flashed through my mind.

It was the first time in my life that something had actually frightened me enough to make me panic in this way.

I screamed and trembled violently, tears rolling down my cheeks.

I cried harder and harder as I felt a pair of soft but strong arms wrap around me, stroking my hair.

It helped calm me somewhat and quieten my crying, and after a few minutes, I was able to regain some composure. I continued to sob, hugging the other person tight for dear life.

"Shhh," Lori said softly into my ear. "It's okay it's okay... You're safe now."

She tightened her grip ever so slightly, and then continued to rub the back of my head gently.

I slowly pulled back from the embrace, wiping the tears from my face and looking up at my sister through teary eyes.

Lori smiled at me warmly. She reached up with one hand, and brushed aside the ahoge hanging across my forehead before kissing me on the top of my head.

"How are you right now, Alice??" she asked me carefully. "Can you speak yet?"

I desperately moved my hands to my neck, only to feel soft, smooth, intact skin. There was a dull, persistent phantom pain there that echoed the sensation of having my neck torn apart.

I nodded, forcing myself to swallow past the lump in my throat as best I could.

"Y-yeah..." I muttered quietly, voice cracking a little bit as I tried to sound more confident than I really was. I pushed myself to sit upright, untangling my legs which were wrapped around my sister's waist. I looked around: It was early morning, and we were in my personal bedroom.

I sobbed, shivering in terror as I thought about the monster's gnashing teeth and claws again. My hands were shaking uncontrollably though I was trying desperately not to let it show on my face. My hands moved up to my throat again.

Tears rolled down both of our faces, but they came slower this time, for different reasons. Lori leaned in to hug me again, and we just held each other closely and cried until we couldn't anymore.

"Thank goodness...I'm sorry," Lori finally said after several minutes of holding me. She looked up at me seriously with watery lavender eyes that seemed too big for her face. Her light blue hair was a mess, sticking out every which way like she'd been running her fingers through it while crying. Her eyes were dark and puffy.

It was clear she'd been crying and not sleeping.

"Lori..."I sobbed, "That thing...that monster..."

She wiped away the tears with the back of her hand and sniffled softly, clearing her throat. "I'm sorry, I'm really sorry for everything little sis."

I started to tearfully shake my head, starting to cry again despite being relatively calm now. Lori put one hand on my cheek, stroking my face lovingly as she spoke in a soft, calm voice.

"Look, I know you said you didn't want that heart to heart, and I'm sorry for being selfish again. But by the Goddess, when it smashed through Dodson's barrier, I...I really thought I was going to lose you."

Her voice trembled slightly as she choked back sobs before continuing to talk, getting herself under control.

"The truth is, I've never seen anyone do magic in the way that you did before. It was unbelievable. And all without using a single word! You'd wield the heavens and earth itself without even any movement or chanting or anything! I....even though I'm the older sister, I really admire you." She took another deep breath before continuing.

"It doesn't make how I handled things better, but that made me lose sight of what's really important. I was so concerned with getting you ready for a group that deals with large scale threats, that I didn't take your needs and wants into consideration when we left on our trip. So...I want to apologize for everything i said and did during that time." Lori paused to wipe away some more tears. "And most importantly...I want to be friends again. And sisters, before anything else."

I looked at her closely, wiping the tears out of my eyes with the sleeve of my pajamas. Her eyes were moist again, and she looked like she might start crying at any moment, if she let herself.

I swallowed hard once again, letting out a trembling sigh as I pulled back from Lori a little bit. She wrapped both arms around me, pulling me close as she hugged me tightly. We sat together in silence for a long while after that.

"Lori," I whispered eventually.

"Yeah?" she replied quietly in response.

"Can we....can we just take things easy for a bit? Just stay at home for a while." I felt my voice shaking as I said this, but I still forced myself to speak calmly. "I can't get those images out of my head right now, you know? Not to mention, you have no idea how scary it was...and it'll probably haunt me until I find out how to fix it or something...so..." I struggled to finish the sentence before trailing off weakly.

Lori stared at me intently and then nodded slowly and smiled.

"Yeah..."

We stood up together and walked hand-in-hand towards the bathroom. My heart beat rapidly, and my stomach felt sickly. But despite all that, I tried to act calm and collected on the outside.

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"I'm going to wash your face, okay?" Lori asked softly.

I wiped away some tears on the sleeve of my pajamas and nodded. "...Okay."

Lori stepped behind the vanity in the corner of the room and took down one of my towels, dampening it with some water from the sink.

I wasn't sure exactly what the tech level of this world was, but I figured it would be all over the place like a typical fantasy world. Still, it was nice that we had running water.

She gently wrapped it around my neck like a makeshift scarf and dried my hair with another towel before starting to clean my face with a warm, wet cloth. "Shhh," she whispered into my ear.

"How's the pain?" she asked quietly.

"Mild," I whispered back through a shaky voice. I reached up to my throat again. The dull phantom pain was definitely still there.

"Do you want medicine?" she continued in a gentle tone as she began wiping my face again. "It won't hurt anything."

"No thanks. I'll be fine."

"Okay... You know what, it's just so frustrating, though. I don't understand why you have to be so tough sometimes. If only... you'd talked about your magic problem or problems in general, I could have helped. Can help. I'm your sister - I wouldn't have judged you. It's you and me against the world, and I mean it you know?"

Lori stopped to stare at me seriously, sighing slightly before continuing to wipe away at my eyes with a soothing expression on her face. She held me tightly, almost crying herself as she spoke.

"I'm really sorry for everything, Alice... I feel bad for pushing you and forcing you into doing things you didn't want to do."

I sniffled and rubbed the sleeve against my nose before nodding slowly.

"I'm sorry too... I should have been far more proactive about voicing my discomforts," I mumbled softly. "And I'm sorry about lashing out at you and your companions the way I did. You were right in a way, I guess..."

I turned away quickly after that, still holding onto the towel around my neck with both hands. My heart felt like it was going to pound itself through my chest, so intense was the pounding in my head.

Lori took a deep breath through her nose and then sighed loudly. Her shoulders drooped slightly as she walked back over towards me. "How are you feeling?" she asked in a calm voice.

"I-I'm okay now...Thanks." I forced myself to smile even the tiniest bit.

She shook her head, "Let's try this again: How are you really feeling?" she asked me. "Please, it's okay."

I bit my lip, took a deep breath, and closed my eyes. There was a lot weighing down on me, and I'd bottled it all in.

"I....I honestly feel terrified. Like, a fish out of water, like I'm in a body that isn't mine..."I admitted to Lori, "I feel like there's a train crash about to happen with me in it in slow motion. There's a debt time bomb ticking down on this household, and we're about to get shunted onto the streets. There's apparently a looming demonic invasion out gods knows where, and I have no idea what I'm supposed to be doing. I have all these massive, massive expectations placed on my magic, and all I have are Levitation and Mana Bolt to show for it right now."

"I'm so sorry," she murmured softly, but firmly, as she wrapped one arm around my waist. "I didn't know how you felt, and I should have asked sooner."

"You couldn't," I mumbled into the towel as I buried my face into her shoulder. "I was just so confused, and stressed out. From the second we left until we returned I was just going along with it. I was afraid to say anything. I'm scared, Lori. I'm scared of dying a horrible, violent death like I almost did, and I don't know if I want to be an adventurer."

Lori rested her head against my forehead, stroking my hair gently with her fingers. "It's okay to be afraid. It's not weakness if you can admit your fears to someone else. We'll work together to solve it," she promised.

"You're right...Thank you, Lori... For everything... despite everything, you've been such a great... sister." My voice cracked slightly on the last word.

I don't know when it happened, but a core part of my being had finally accepted her as my sister. I was an only child in my original life, and I had no idea how to handle a dynamic like this.

"I love you too, Alice-chan" she replied softly before leaning in and kissing me on the cheek and pat me on the head.

She just held me tight, not saying anything and stroking my hair.

I started crying again then, and after some time I could tell that my eyes were starting to dry up. I rubbed them quickly and sniffled loudly once again. I stood still for several seconds afterwards as I tried to calm down. Finally, I felt like I'd managed to do it enough, so I took another deep breath and pulled away from Lori's embrace.

She wiped my cheeks again gently with her towel as I turned back towards the mirror, adjusting myself so I looked more presentable.

I honestly felt far better now, and it no longer felt like I was walking around this world on autopilot.

There was something about being able to talk about it all that helped. As long as I was honest with myself, I could get past this.

"Well, umm..." I began awkwardly. "Let's just go downstairs, okay? Have some breakfast?"

Lori nodded slowly and beamed at me gently, "Okay."

We walked out of my room together holding hands.

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