Chapter 4: Chapter 4

I woke up to bright sunlight streaming through the window. For a split second, I panicked, thinking I had overslept. But then I remembered I had fallen asleep last night. How long ago was that? I couldn't remember, but judging by the position of the sun, I guessed it was early morning.

Groaning, I sat up in bed and stretched. My head ached, and I realized I hadn't slept properly. I yawned widely, stretching my arms above my head. When I lowered them, I spotted my clothes neatly folded at the foot of my bed.

Huh? Did I sleep naked?!

I hastily grabbed a towel and covered myself, then threw open the curtains to look outside. Sure enough, there was a large crowd gathered near the gate. Most of them wore robes, but there were some guards standing guard as well.

"Wh-what's happening?" I stammered.

"Well," Lori tapped her chin with her fingers while looking at my curiously, before pointing outside. "We did get attacked during the night."

"Attacked?"

"They broke into the inn and a bunch of other buildings, and stole a few things."

I frowned. "So...they got away with it?"

"In....a manner of speaking. Yes."

I groaned. "This isn't good."

"Indeed." Lori nodded grimly. "But fortunately, they left behind their tracks! Which means we should be able to track them down soon."

"Wait, track them down? Why do we care?"

"Welllllll...sheesh. How drunk WERE you last night?"

"What!?"

"Ahaha. HAHHAAHA! Just kidding."

I stared blankly at her for a minute, then she burst out laughing again. "Oh man, you're hilarious."

"Sorry." I shrugged awkwardly. "Was that supposed to be funny?"

"Ha ha! Noooo, silly! I'm just messing with you! You need to learn to loosen up when you aren't drunk sometimes, you know?"

"Umm..."

"Now come on, we've gotta go get our magic jewel thingie back."

Wait. Wait a second. Magic Jewel?

"They....took the jewel?" I repeated dumbfoundedly.

"Yep," Lori replied serenly. "It's quite valuable, so it'll fetch a high price in the black market. And since they're thieves, I imagine they won't give it back without getting paid."

"Right," I muttered numbly. "So, um, what now?"

"We follow them." Lori pointed towards the door. "Come on, let's leave."

I stood up slowly. My legs were sore from sleeping in the same position for so long. And I was way, way too young to have the hangover I did. That was only maybe two 'drinks' tops, but Alice was a goddamned lightweight.

As I hobbled to the door, I caught sight of the maid who brought me my ale earlier. She was staring at me with wide eyes.

"...Uh, hello," I greeted her hesitantly.

She snapped her mouth shut immediately and turned away in fear.

What was that about?

Once we exited the building and headed toward town center, I noticed something strange. There were fewer people walking around than usual. Some of those we passed glared angrily at us. They must have recognized Lori from yesterday.

"Is everyone angry at us?" I whispered quietly to her.

Lori shook her head. "Welll....you drove off the bandits last night, but you set quite a few buildings on fire."

Wait, me? I set some buildings on fire?

"Wait seriously? H-how many?" I asked dubiously.

"Seven," she confirmed. "Thankfully none of them burned down entirely."

I winced. Not great.

"Still, it's not like anyone died," Lori continued optimistically. "Those four bandits you flew into the air and went all nyoom nyoom WIND BLADES on will probably miss their limbs, though."

Wait, I did it? I dismembered four people? In one night?

"If nothing else," she concluded, "at least we got rid of those damn thieves. We can rest easy knowing they probably won't bother this town anymore."

I stared at her, speechless.

Lori laughed. "See? Nothing to worry about!"

I blinked in confusion.

When we reached town center, there was already a small army waiting for us.

The soldiers wore heavy armor and carried spears and shields. Their leader approached us cautiously. He was a dwarven man with a round face, and his hair was cropped close to the scalp. His expression looked stern and serious, and he had a beard that traveled down below his chest. If I had to guess, he was about five feet tall, which seemed tall for a dwarf based on what I saw around town.

"Lady Lorina Liddell," he addressed her respectfully.

Lori smirked. "Hello, Captain."

He sighed heavily, before turning to address the crowd. "...Very well. Please excuse my rudeness. I am Captain Olimar of the Royal Guard. I apologize for interrupting your day once again, Lori. You were a magnificent help last night."

Lori waved him away dismissively. "No problem at all, sir!"

Olimar cleared his throat loudly. "Please allow me to introduce my men to your dear sister. This is Staff Sergeant Milla."

Mila bowed politely. She was a brown-haired elf, and her uniform appeared identical to the other Royal Guards'.

Next came Lieutenant Hildebrand. She was a human with a similar uniform to the others, although hers was decorated with medals.

And finally, there was Lieutenant Domingo. He was dressed in a robe, which made me think he wasn't part of the military. My instincts told me he was a magic user.

Captain Olimar continued. "These are my best men. Our job is to protect and serve the citizens, ladies, and gentlemen of the Kingdom."

I glanced at Lori and saw she was wearing a smug smile on her face.

"Of course, if you don't mind, I would appreciate it greatly if you could tell us where the item they pilfered was last located."

"Why do you want to know?" Lori asked casually.

"Because, it belongs to the royal treasury, and I'd like to return it as quickly as possible."

"So," I remarked dryly, "If this thing was important enough to have some elite, royal guards all over this here...why exactly was this assigned to a Rank B and fledgling adventurer again?"

Lori smiled sweetly. "Because, my dear, that's how we roll here in the Kingdom! We value efficiency over everything else, so people delegate tasks to adventurers wherever possible."

"Ergh," I grunted. "That makes absolutely no sense!"

"Hmmph." Lori rolled her eyes. "Anyway, I'm glad you decided to help us out, Captain."

"Thank you, Lady Lorina."

"Don't mention it," she replied breezily, batting her eyelashes. "Let's go see what kind of trouble we can stir up today, Marcus!"

"Just like old times, eh Lori? I mean. Lady Liddell..." Captain Olimar turned to judge me with an appraising eye, "Anyway, the townsfolk told me your sister was quite the helion herself last night. Nasty stuff indeed. Are you sure she's fit to be out and about yet?"

I froze. What the hell? Was he talking about me? I blushed in embarassment.

"Um, yes sir. I believe so." Lori giggled mischievously. "Her stomach has calmed down now, and she seems to have fully recovered from the effects of alcohol poisoning and her mana expenditure. Shall we begin tracking these thieves right away?"

"Yes, please." Olimar nodded enthusiastically. "Follow me, then. Let's catch them before they cause any further problems."

I groaned inwardly. What was I even doing here? Wasn't there anything better for me to be involved in? Like helping a little old lady cross the street? Or maybe cleaning up trash on the side of the road? Anything but tracking down these thieving ruffians!

After leaving town center, we followed the trail of footprints heading northward. It led straight through the forest, so I assumed whoever took it had been traveling along a main path. As we walked further into the woods, we found signs of several campsites. At first glance, it seemed like they were being used regularly; there were empty bowls scattered about, and discarded food wrappers littered the ground. But as we continued deeper into the forest, we discovered more and more evidence suggesting the campsite had been abandoned recently.

Eventually, we arrived at the edge of a clearing. A group of trees blocked our view, but I could still hear voices coming from somewhere inside the wooded area. From the sound of it, they were arguing. The foliage was thick here, so only I was able to slip ahead through the trees with my lightly armored, petite body.

"Hey, hey, calm down!" a man shouted.

A woman responded frantically. "No, listen! I didn't steal it! I swear!"

There was a brief pause, then another voice spoke up. "Then who did?"

"I don't know! Someone must have stolen it after I handed it over!"

"You're lying! Everyone knows you stole it yourself. The masked man was going to pay handsomely for it."

"Stop it, you idiots!!"

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"Calm down, both of you." An older man tried to intervene. "It doesn't matter who stole it. All that matters is finding it."

"Yeah, yeah," said a fourth person.

Following the voice, I snuck ahead, and looked around.

I squinted hard at the distant figures from my hiding spot until they became clearer.

Three men. Two women. One of them was carrying something wrapped in cloth. Judging by the size, it might be a box or suitcase. The other two were holding large sacks of coins.

"Fine. Just stop shouting at each other." The first man sighed tiredly. "We'll split the money between us once we get back."

The woman gave him an incredulous look. "How much?!"

"Forty percent of whatever we earn to me."

"Eeeeekkkk!! Forty!? That's robbery Zlatan!"

"Relax. If we take less, then we won't make enough to pay off our debts. We'll never be able to start a new life anywhere else."

"But...but..."

"Hush," the man I identified as Zlatan interrupted her gently. "This isn't a negotiation. Now let's go."

At that moment, I spotted movement in the corner of my eye. Something glittered in the distance, reflecting sunlight. I blinked and focused on it intently. Then I realized what it was: a single golden ring hanging on a branch. It was suspended above the ground, swinging slightly in the breeze.

The swaying made me feel dizzy, and suddenly I found myself hurtling forward.

Oh shit oh god oh crap! I thought desperately.

I was definitely staying away from alcohol from now on. My body was betraying me!

"Alice, wait!" Lori screamed out loud from far behind me.

I lost my balance and stumbled forward, tumbling right into view of the alleged thieves.

Everyone stopped abruptly and turned toward me. They stared intently at me, and I felt a sudden rush of heat rising to my cheeks.

Oh god, what the fuck. Why does this shit like this keep happening?!

"Who goes there?" demanded one of the men suspiciously. My eardrums pounded in my head.

I held up my hands in surrender, and then I felt myself retch. My head spun circles, and I promptly hurled a continuous stream of stomach acid and digested foodstuffs on the ground in front of me.

It hit the dirt and instantly began bubbling and burning fiercely, spreading rapidly across the entire area.

"Crap! It's her!" the first woman shouted.

"Seven hells, Alice! You don't have to go for the overkill spells right out the gate every time!!" Lori panicked from above.

I didn't know what the hell I was doing! How could I have done that to them!? And I hadn't even intended to use fire magic! It just sorta happened!

"D-Damn it!" cried the second woman. "What do we do?!"

The background changed to pure green, and their arms and legs seemed to....turn into comically underbudgeted circles and they ran in circles with that classic anime panic and swear animation.

"Run! Run for your lives!!" yelled the third guy. "She's gonna burn us all alive!"

They dropped their cargo and fled as fast as their legs would carry them. The first woman started running towards us, waving her arms wildly.

"Look out! Look out!" she shrieked. "Get away from the fire!"

"Y-you too, Captain!" the second woman called out fearfully. "Flee now!"

"Right behind you!"

I watched helplessly as the three thieves ran past me without stopping. They disappeared into the trees, disappearing from sight.

"Did you see that?" Lori exclaimed excitedly, shouting behind her as she caught up to me. "She really scared 'em good! Ha ha!"

"Lori..." I groaned weakly.

"Well, don't worry," she added cheerily. "I've got plenty of potions left for that hangover."

"Good..."

My head throbbed painfully. My vision swam in and out of focus. I couldn't seem to move properly. Everything around me seemed to spin madly, and I struggled to remain upright.

Where was I?

Was I dead?

Or perhaps I was dreaming…

Wait. No. I definitely wasn’t asleep. I remembered the events clearly. I was in the middle of tracking down some thieves when—

Suddenly, a sharp pain shot through my skull. It was almost like my brain itself was splitting apart. I gritted my teeth and clutched my head, trying not to scream aloud.

"Alice?" Lori asked anxiously.

"Nnnngggg…"

I winced as another wave of agony washed over me. Oh God, this hurt!

"Are you okay, Alice?" Lori asked again. "Can you stand up?"

"Uhhh...no," I mumbled.

I felt green, and accidentally barfed all over Lori's armor. I tensed in fear for a second, then I relaxed when I realized I hadn't set Alice's sister on fire.

"Oh no," I heard Lori mutter worriedly. "Do you need medical attention?"

"I don't think so..." I muttered dully. "I just...need...some time...to rest...water."

"Okay, fine." Lori pouted unhappily. "Take a few minutes."

As soon as she stepped aside, I collapsed onto the grass.

I was exhausted. Exhausted beyond belief. My whole body ached from having exerted myself so much yesterday. Alcohol was a bad idea too, even if it was just a little bit.

Even though I hadn't gone crazy, it still messed me up pretty badly. Maybe I should stick to eating meat instead of drinking next time.

"Here, drink this dear." Lori passed me a canteen. "Drink slowly. Don't gulp it down."

"Thanks," I murmured gratefully. I gulped it down greedily.

Once I finished drinking, I sat up carefully, careful not to fall flat on my face.

"Is your headache better now?" Lori asked kindly.

"Not really," I admitted sadly. "But thanks anyway."

"Ah well, don't worry about it. Drink some water, then get going.

"Uh huh."

Captain Olimar approached us, looking concerned. "Lady Lorina, what happened to you?" He glanced at me as I stumbled around. "And why are you covered in vomit?"

"That's... a long story," Lori explained. "Let's continue following the trail of footprints. Hopefully we can catch them before they reach the capital and get some information." She looked at me pointedly. "Don't forget to stay hydrated, Alice!"

"Whatever," I glowered.

 

I looked towards the back as Captain Olimar's crew approached, then I froze as I saw a figure in black robes standing on top of a hill through my blurry vision.

 

I blinked and he was gone.

I glanced back at the giant bag of loot the thieves had left behind.

Now that they weren't there anymore, it was safe to pick it up and examine it.

Wow, these guys sure picked a lot of stuff up. There was a pile of gold coins, dozens of bags containing various items. Luckily, the box with the magic jewel was right there for the taking.

There was also a strange-looking book sitting on top of everything. Its cover was shiny metal, which reminded me of a sword hilt. I reached for it curiously, only to recoil violently. The binding stung my hand like hot iron.

I gingerly flipped it open with my wand, and I saw pages filled with words written in a language I'd never seen before.

What the heck is this thing? I wondered uneasily. It looks dangerous as hell!

I decided to put it back in its place in the loot pile quickly. After all, I didn't want to deal with any cursed artifact nonsense. I knew that much.

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