Chapter 39: 42

“You’re going to abandon me again.”

     What do you mean by abandoning you?  How can you say that to yourself? 

Eleon’s words were like knives carved from the ice buried in the polar ice caps. They were very cold and sharp. 

Every word Elysia heard made a wound in her heart.

“You made the right choice. It was only when I went blind again that I realized it.”

There was no energy in his voice. 

He spoke full of sadness instead of being confident and dignified like the color of his bright eyes.

“There was no way you could have accepted a marriage proposal of a man who could get sick again.”

The misery Eleon felt came back doubled. 

     It wasn’t supposed to be like this. 

She had no intention of hurting him. 

Elysia didn’t know what to do. 

She had no memory of the borrowed body. 

Besides, she didn’t even know the original story very well. 

Mariela said that the chocolate bag she was going to give to Eleon burned and disappeared on its own as a side effect of going against the original story.

Seeing it happening in front of her eyes was a completely different matter from listening to Mariela, understanding, accepting, or simply imagining. 

It was a vivid horror. 

Elysia was afraid that what happened to the bag of chocolate would happen to her, that she would disappear without even leaving any ashes.

Eleon was the male lead. 

His existence should be at the center of the flow of the original story above everything else. 

And being around him was more dangerous than anything else. 

She will be the most directly influenced by the original plot more than anyone else. And the consequences were unpredictable.

It hurts. It’s so painful.

Her heart ached. She wanted to protest and also wanted to deny what he was saying. But she couldn’t say anything due to the sharp pain in her chest.

“Crying.”

Tears began to run down her cheeks.

Only then did Elysia realize the depth of her heart. 

If she loved him with a reader’s heart just because he was the male lead, she shouldn’t have been so frustrated with herself. 

She was unable to accept his marriage proposal. 

She couldn’t face his red eyes that sparkled beautifully with a happy smile. 

It can’t be that sad.

“Just go.”

This is his second despair. 

She thought this situation would make Eleon feel more lethargic.

He didn’t just lie on the floor, bitter and frustrated like he used to be. He didn’t even howl like a beast.

He was more like a spoiled flower waiting to wither and rot. 

He looked pitiful staring into the air without moving a bit or blinking.

“Don’t come back here again.”

Each word that came out of his mouth was colder than the last. 

He wasn’t being cold to Elysia. It was because of the endless darkness that Eleon was going through.

She looked down, biting her lower lip. 

Then she saw his hand resting on the sheet he was trying to cover.

     He’s shaking.

The big hand of a big man.

His large hand, which seemed to be able to cover her face in one hand, trembled, gripping the white sheet.

Elysia carefully placed her hand on top of his. 

At that moment, Eleon’s eyes grew bigger in surprise.

“I’m not going anywhere.”

Just like it was at Cafe Cardinal. 

Elysia took Eleon’s hand and placed it on her cheek.

“Nowhere.”

But he didn’t caress her face as he used to before. That made Elysia even more anxious. 

She wanted to believe that his heart wasn’t closed yet. 

The man who had promised her his whole life wouldn’t have changed his mind in an instant.

“Sir Eleon.”

When she blinked, tears ran down Eleon’s palm.

“I’m…… Rona.”

As soon as she said ‘Rona‘, Eleon wavered.

“I will be your eyes and your hands as before.”

Elysia grabbed his hands with both hands and rubbed them against her cheek as if a small animal was acting cute.

“But if you leave me again…”

Emotions flashed across Eleon’s face. His expressionless mask cracked for the first time since Elysia entered this room.

“I may not be able to live.”

Elysia nodded, still pressing his hand against her cheek.

“I will do anything for you. Eleon.”

There was only one truth. 

She doesn’t think he’d like it, but she thinks she could die for Eleon if he wanted to.

She would give anything for him in return for his sight, even at the cost of her life.

Elysia continued to cry and looked into his unfocused gray eyes.

“I will do anything you want.”

At that moment, Eleon’s hand, which was still wet with Elysia’s tears, moved.  

He carefully tried to wipe away the tears from her cheeks.

“Stop crying.”

“Ah. I’m sorry.”

Before she knew it, Elysia was sitting on his lap. The sheet was damp from crying profusely.

“I’m going to wipe my face, I’ll be back.”

Embarrassed, she was just about to get up when suddenly Eleon dragged her body.

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“Don’t go.”

“……Sir Eleon.”

“I hate it even if you leave for a moment.”

Her heart pounded at the sound of his deep voice.

“Just stay like this.”

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Eleon fumbled over the side table, picked up a handkerchief, and handed it to her.

After running for several hours and crying for a long time, Elysia suddenly felt her energy drop.

I can’t. I should go to my room to sleep……

What was it about Eleon’s arms that seemed so familiar? 

His firm arms, the wide, soft bed, and the crisp feel of the sheets did not bother Elysia, and she felt her consciousness gradually fade.

Eleon…..

She wanted to tell him not to let her sleep here, or to call another servant or Bernard to take her to her room, but she couldn’t say a word as if her mouth was glued.

“……”

As soon as her eyes closed, Elysia fell asleep as if she had been forced to.

Eleon looked at Elysia with unfocused eyes, who had been in his arms for a long time.

“Elysia.”

When he called out her name softly, she wouldn’t budge, so he slowly stood up. 

With Elysia in his arms, he lifted her slightly as if she weighed like a feather, and adjusted his posture, holding her tighter than before. 

Eleon caressed Elysia’s swollen eyes with the tips of his fingers.

Her cheeks were still wet even after he wiped away her tears. 

Eleon, who felt the vivid sensation of touch, looked at her sternly.

“You were wrong.”

He was the blood and descendant of God.

Eleon, who was born as an Oder and lived as a superior being, had never thought poorly of himself. Except when he went blind, he acted like a madman.

However, he becomes an idiot in front of Elysia to the extent that he couldn’t even understand himself. 

Elysia was indifferent to him in many ways. 

He felt betrayed when he found out that Elysia wanted to set him up with Karina.

He was so upset.

Eleon returned home without saying a word and feeling empty.

Surprisingly, as soon as Eleon arrived at the Grand Duchy, he regretted it. He misses Elysia very much.

「“Why do you think I’m angry?”」

「“……I don’t know.”」

「“Ah, so you don’t know that?”」

He was so hurt that his feelings showed.

「“Lady Karina is a beautiful and virtuous person.”」

「“Your Highness said before that you were looking for someone. You said you found only half. I thought that someone would be Lady Karina. I thought you might like her if I gave you two time to talk…….”」

Elysia aroused Eleon’s anger by starting to talk about something he wasn’t interested in.

What he wanted to talk about was a future-oriented conversation between him and Elysia. 

She suggested that he meet another woman and even introduced her to him.

He wondered the meaning behind all the actions she had done.

「“How can you believe that I am here to see you for that? Will you think I’m serious if I propose to you?”」

「“Pro…propose?”」

「“I heard that most young people like to date before exchanging a formal courtship letter. You’re so special.”」

「“What? Are you saying you like me now?”」

「“Yes.”」

In the end, the situation led to a ridiculous confession. 

He wanted to do it right. 

He wanted to make an impressive and wonderful confession that would remain a precious and beautiful memory for Elysia for a long time.

He wanted to find a suitable place and time for such a precious occasion.

The reason why Eleon couldn’t confess to Elysia quickly was that he was so excited to think of such a thing.

No, what’s wrong with me? 

He thought he would become this kind of person. 

A kind and attentive man to the woman he loves. 

He just hasn’t met his opponent yet. 

He often thinks of Elysia and does things that make her happy, not for him, but the magical thing that makes him happy in the end often makes his heart race. 

His heart fluctuated between his desire to legally bring her back to the Grand Duchy quickly and wanting to enjoy this moment a little longer.

“I didn’t know you would turn me down.”

Elysia’s hands were very pretty. Her small, white hands were like small pretty flowers. Her fingers were thin, and even the color of her nails was pink. 

Is her hand half the size of mine? 

At the debutante ball, Eleon had a hard time holding on when they danced together.

In the meantime, he was going crazy thinking that Elysia would feed him and wipe his lips with her hands. 

He put a lot of effort into getting a ring that would suit her hand.

But the owner of the ring had not yet seen it. 

Eleon moved his hand around his eye carefully so as not to wake Elysia. 

Tak

When he lightly touched his eyes, the lenses that were blocking the red light came off.

“I will not let you go.”

Eleon was serious about capturing Elysia. To the point where he could act abominably.

* * * * *

Some dreams can be quickly recognized when they are dreams. 

Just like right now. 

After falling asleep in a chair in his office for a while, Eleon woke up and shook his heavy head from side to side.

「“It’s strange.”」

As an Oder, he rarely felt tired. 

He occasionally felt tired during the time he got seriously wounded on the battlefield and when he suffered from excessive blood loss.

「“I think I was dreaming of something.”」

He dreamed of a younger version of himself asking ‘what’s wrong with me?’, but he can’t remember what kind of dream it was.

He felt proud and excited. It was a feeling that he had never experienced. It stayed vivid in his heart. 

The desk was cluttered with work he had accumulated while he was blind.

「“I’d rather be more comfortable wielding a sword.”」

He didn’t have to look at each of them. 

Eleon took a sip of the water and tried to fix her eyes on the black letters. 

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「“Come in.”」

The faithful and capable butler, Bernard, entered.

「“What is it?”」

「“I think you should attend a funeral. Your Highness.”」

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