“The Crown Prince has changed for the worse, why is that because of you?”
Ethyl, like me, doesn’t seem to know the exact story behind it. Even when I asked Father to tell me how Tess had changed and what was wrong with him, Father didn’t budge.
“I don’t know either.”
After a while, Ethyl let me go as I answered meekly.
“I’ll contact you.”
“It’s okay you don’t have to overdo it.”
I told him with the meaning that his father wouldn’t like it, but Ethyl was furious as he had understood my meaning at once.
“No way! No, Father doesn’t listen to me, so it’s unreasonable.”
Ethyl, who turned his head to the side and scratched his cheek for a moment, looked at me with a serious expression.
“I’ll contact you. And when I’m taller than I am now, I’ll go find you.”
“Puhaha, Ethyl. You don’t have to do that.”
This child should not have such loyalty to visit me.
“Why! Why can’t I come to you?”
“Then why should you come to see me? To that place far away.”
“Because I lik…!”
Ethyl, whose face turned red, was unable to speak for a moment.
“I what?”
“I, I, I!”
“Miss hates uneasiness. Please tell her, Young Master.”
When May, who was next to me, helped him, Ethyl was seriously surprised as he was unaware of May’s existence.
The child, who had been fluttering for a while, managed to catch his breath. Then he looked at May and May tilted her head, not knowing what was the problem.
Ethyl, who stretched his shoulders, let out a sigh.
“I, I… ! I like you to be my rival.”
“I know that I have a knack for swordsmanship, but isn’t it too early to become your rival?”
I’m still six years old, and I’m a lot smaller than him, right?
“Because I heard that you have talent when you are young! So, I have to pay more attention. Hmmm, anyway. I’ll be sure to go see you, so wait for me.”
“Yes. I see.”
“You mustn’t forget me.”
Again speaking seriously, Ethyl left Hardland after saying goodbye to me as well as my parents. Seeing his disappearing back on the horse made my heart flutter.
At the same time I felt immense gratitude for Ethyl, the realization that I had to leave this place came upon me.
“Still, when I see someone coming, I guess my life was not in vain. Right, May?”
“Of course. You always work hard.”
“I’ve worked hard, so I want to eat something delicious.”
“The chef said he baked cookies in the morning, would you like me to bring them?”
“Yes.”
After Ethyl disappeared from Hardland, the large mansion gradually became more lonely. As the seasons got colder, the colors of the leaves changed.
Finally, the day of departure.
“Goodbye.”
I said goodbye to the tree that was planted the day I was born. This tree, which was said to be able to live for hundreds of years, is famous for bearing fruit in winter. Just in January when I was born.
“Euel, did you say your goodbyes?”
“Yes.”
We couldn’t dispose of all the land, so we gave it to servants, maids, or knights, and all we could take was jewelry and cash.
Since this mansion belongs to the imperial family, the tree would be destined to be cut. There was a tingling in one side of my chest, but I smiled like it was nothing.
“Then shall we go? Come on, hold Father’s hand.”
All of this is my fault.
If it wasn’t for me, at least if I hadn’t remembered my previous life, this wouldn’t have happened.
The procession of the Hardland family, who was in charge of one axis of the northern empire, was shabby.
In the dreary season, the few carriages visibly looked like they were kicked out. And my almost full-term Mother. My younger sibling is in that big swollen belly.
“I’m sorry.”
I silently apologized.
I took everything from you. Everything you should have, fame, wealth, attention, and a comfortable environment.
It started raining little by little, unknown whether it was pitying us or making fun of us. The barren ground, where grass did not grow, began to get wet.
In the early winter of the age of six, my family and I were kicked out of Alin.
* * *
“Ah.”
Euseniel’s presence in the capital disappeared.
“Huu, huff. Huuu…….”
Before I could do anything, tears began to flow.
“Euseniel, Euseniel, Euseniel.”
My savior will be leaving for a very distant place.
I got scared as I no longer felt Euseniel’s traces. Now I’m alone.
After crying for a long time, I was so tired that I couldn’t cry anymore.
“It’s because of me. Euseniel, I’m the reason you’re like that.”
I didn’t mean to change my appearance in the first place.
I was in a hurry.
Bonart’s first son kept hanging around next to Euseniel. What if Euseniel falls for Ethyl Bonart’s appearance? What should I do if she likes him?
The combination of Hardland and Bonart is something that Father and the other two Duchies hate, but it cannot be prevented.
So, before such a terrible thing happened, I had no choice but to become Euseniel’s ideal type.
Knock, knock.
There was a knock, and after a while someone came in.
“Your Highness.”
“Sir Guard?”
Count Guard, one of the few people who do not avoid me despite my appearance. He looked at me with sad eyes.
“Your Highness, why are you crying?”
“My chest…….”
I was out of breath.
“It hurts so much here.”
I can see my distorted face in Sir Guard’s eyes.
“It hurts so much here, I can’t stand it.”
Even at this moment, Euseniel seems to be getting farther and farther away from me.
For some reason, my body began to assimilate with the Northern Empire. Like the Empire itself was my body, I was able to feel where and what was happening.
This also applied to the sky, and the climate changed according to my mood.
It was still limited to the capital city, so I didn’t have enough strength to extend my senses outside of Alin.
This feeling drove me even more crazy.
– Mister Heinz is dead, but it turns out that the man next door killed him.
– No! I hate you so much!
– What happened on Ritt Street? That…….
I couldn’t control it, so all kinds of voices echoed in my ears like a fantasy. In the end, my ‘eyes’ are already seeing too much and hearing unwanted sounds.
I can’t sleep. Even when I try to sleep, I constantly hear noises.
“I have seen the people of House Hardland leaving.”
The voice of the person speaking directly to me is relatively loud, but I have to pay attention.
“Of course you saw……..Euseniel, right?”
Obviously, Euseniel wouldn’t have cried until this moment. Because she is that kind of person.
“Your Highness, this.”
What Sir Guard held out was an envelope.
“Do you remember where we took swordsmanship classes? A place with a big tree.”
“… yes.”
“It was there.”
I carefully opened the letter Euseniel had left behind. The content was very concise.
– To Tess.
It’s Euseniel.
I’m not sure if this letter will ever get into your hands, but I’m leaving it just in case.
I’m leaving the capital. It’s not your fault that I left.
So don’t feel guilty.
Drop, drop.
Tears that had stopped for a moment wet the letter. The ink gradually got smudged, but I didn’t even dare to wipe it off.
“Sniff, huff.”
She was kind enough to say that it wasn’t my fault even until the end.
Ah, Euseniel. That’s why I can’t let you go. Everyone just wants me.
I know it because I can see it all in my ‘eyes’.
“Your Highness.”
“Thank you.”
My voice does not come out properly.
“Thank you, Sir Guard.”
“Cheer up, Your Highness.”
He was rarely showing emotion.
“I think Your Highness is still growing, and all of this is part of the process of growing up.”
“Thank you.”
All I could do was whisper a little. Sir Guard, who had been watching me for a moment, left the room. He was one of the few on my side.
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