Chapter 20: 20

When I left the smoking area and returned to the banquet hall, it was time to call it a night. I looked at my watch, which I had forgotten when I bought it, and saw that it was almost 9:00 pm. Surely it's a good time.

 

Besides, with a two-hour limit, it's indeed not enough to drink. That's why people end up going to several places. They don't have enough to drink, and they don't have enough to talk about either.

 

You don't want me to meet that girl, huh?

 

The words have seeped into the top of my head, not just the back of my head. I knew that, but it was a little sad to hear it said to my face.

 

I heard that Fujiwara had reserved a place for the after-party. It's true that I didn't have enough to drink, but I don't want to go either.

 

I couldn't find Miya-san. And Yamamoto, too. Oh, I see. She was probably a scout. Since she told me, she should have made a move right away. I don't know when I'll be able to see Yamamoto again.

 

As I sighed helplessly, Fujiwara spoke to me.

 

"Araki-san, let's go."

 

"Do we absolutely have to go?"

 

"Of course!　Because you are the most meritorious person. In short, you are the star of today's show."

 

If you're going to be so kind, I'd like you to listen to my selfishness of "I don't want to go." Why don't you just go with people who don't drink enough? ...... but if I were Fujiwara's age, I'd probably be saying the same thing.

 

Also, I think Yamamoto is the star of the show today, not me. I couldn't bring myself to correct that. I was embarrassed to even mention her name.

 

"Okay, okay. I'm going to go smoke a cigarette."

 

"We're breaking up as we are, should I wait for you in front of the hotel?"

 

"No, I'm close to the store. I'll catch up with you soon."

 

Fujiwara thought for a moment and swallowed my words. I nailed him, telling him not to go home. That was a good move. He is an idiot.

 

I'm not talking about smoking earlier or anything. When I'm under a lot of stress, I can't help but want to smoke. Call me a heavy smoker, but it's none of my business.

 

I sling my bag over my shoulder and free my hands. Free hands are essential for smokers.

 

I am back in the same place I was just a few minutes ago, but my steps are strangely light. Perhaps it was because this time I had the pure purpose of smoking.

 

The participants who were leaving the venue in droves seemed to be having a lot of fun.

 

"Araki-san!"

 

I heard a voice call out. My heart skipped a beat.

 

Because the owner of that voice was the girl I had been told not to meet.

 

"Yamamoto......."

 

"Thank you for today! It was a lot of fun!"

 

"Oh, um, yes. It was good."

 

Her voice was understandably elated as she said that. Even though she hadn't been drinking, she must have been able to keep up with the tension in the venue.

 

Well, she was talking to a lot of people at the handshake event. I guess it's that easy.

 

I don't know about her facial expression. I don't think she was flushed because she hadn't been drinking. I couldn't look at her face closely because I had been told not to meet her.

 

"Jeez, well, I'm going to go smoke a cigarette."

 

"Oh, hey!"

 

She stopped me, but I proceeded to the smoking area to escape. I pulled open the sliding door and stood where she couldn't see me. The space is covered with black walls, and the small window is smoked, so she can't see me from the outside.

 

I let out a breath of relief. She doesn't intend to follow me into this place. That's not so bad. If they came in the other way, I would have snapped.

 

I ran in, but there was no one there but me. No way, among that many participants, was it just me and Miya-san who smoked?　

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No, I don't think so. I guess so. I doubted it on my own and was convinced on my own. I was secretly impressed that such a miracle could happen.

 

I light a cigarette, take a quick puff, and exhale with a puff. Once again, the sigh is a near-emotional exhale.

 

"How pathetic. ......."

 

It's not like those days when I was oodling and holding her hand as hard as I could. Not pathetic in that sense. This is my decision as a man, not as a fan. I didn't realize how pathetic it was.

 

She may be a former idol, but she is a girl now. I can't believe that an old man would be so shy around her.

 

In spite of me, the cigarette tastes better than ever. She must be feeling so much stress. It's all Miya-san's fault.

 

By the way, I felt that Yamamoto had not been approached yet. I have no evidence to support this, but my intuition tells me so. That's all.

 

Somehow, I have a feeling that if she were scouted by an idol, she wouldn't talk to me so cheerfully. At least, she even thinks she annoyed me.

 

(I wonder if she'll go back to ......)

 

As a fan, if I can see her on the stage again, I'm fine with that. Like Miya-san, I'm sure she's going to be a natural.

 

But I will miss her being out of reach because of our poor speaking relationship. It would be effeminate, but I'll just chalk it up as an unavoidable emotion. I'll never be able to get in touch with the idol of my dreams again, that's for sure.

 

I think life doesn't go on conveniently when you are alive. I want to stay friends with her and watch the process of her becoming a super idol. The world won't allow it.

 

I finished my cigarette, but somehow I didn't want to go outside. I reach for my second cigarette. I check the location of the second restaurant on my smartphone. Yes, it's close to here. A popular izakaya that seems to be noisy in a good way. There is a big gap between this place and this one, but I think it would be better to escape from reality if it were as noisy as this.

 

I wondered if Yamamoto would attend the after-party. I wondered.

 

It's extremely rare for people who don't drink at drinking parties to attend after-parties. In addition, most people are ready to go after the second round of drinks. Their voices get louder, they say what they think without concealment, and they are drowned in alcohol.

 

It's only difficult for a sober person to be there. Unless they are intoxicated, they will just have to endure the agonizing hours.

 

That's why she won't come. And I would.

 

I was both happy and sad about that. If she doesn't come, then I won't have to worry about many things. But just a glimpse of her makes my heart flutter, so I'm really glad she's there.

 

Suddenly, my phone trembled. I thought it was a phone call, but it turned out to be a message. The sender was Fujiwara, whom I had just parted from.

 

[It's raining, so you'd better buy an umbrella at the convenience store attached to it!]

 

I see. I had brought a folding umbrella just in case, so it was a needless worry, but he was a very thoughtful guy.

 

I reply to him and tuck it away in my pocket. When I had not had any contact with Fujiwara, I had thought he was just a brainy guy, but my impression of him changed as I got to know him. He is still a brainy guy, though.

 

If I were more selfish, it would have been great if he had bought an umbrella and waited for me in front of the hotel. Then, I could have taken him out for a fancy lunch at least once.

 

"Let's get out of here....."

 

Oh well. That's all for now.

 

It's a soliloquy without power. I push my cigarette into the ashtray and tuck the lighter into the chest pocket of my suit. I haven't taken it to the cleaners lately. It's time to get it cleaned up, or it'll be smelly too. I thought about that as I opened the sliding door.

 

"--Why did you run away?"

 

"Whoa!"

 

As soon as I left the smoking area, I ran into her.

 

Or rather, she was waiting for me right in front of the entrance. I was so surprised that I thought my heart would stop because I had left with my head down.

 

"........."

 

"Ah ...... Umm ......."

 

I couldn't look her in the eye earlier, but now, strangely enough, I did. She is shorter than me. She's staring right into my eyes. But it's - it's clearly an angry stare.

 

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