Chapter 27: 27

I think I was out of my mind. 

 

Thinking only of myself, I ended up involving my fans, who should have been important to me. It still pains me to think back on such a foolish act. 

 

I felt that this space, where the smell of cigarettes permeated the air, was the perfect place for me to take off such a self. I had been curious about this place ever since the day he approached me. I had planned to come here alone someday, and there he was. 

 

"You're surprisingly bold, you too." 

 

"......Yes, I am." 

 

The master, who had been chatting amiably with him, calls out to me. He leaves the store, and all that's left is the pancakes I'm about to eat, the coffee I'm about to drink, and me. The old people in the restaurant aren't even interested in us. 

 

They said we were bold. I think they are right. I had never done that to a man before, nor had I ever thought of doing it. I just wanted to make fun of them a little bit. 

 

That's all I did, and yet I felt a prickle of pain in my chest. Every time I remember his face as he left without saying anything and with an embarrassed look on his face, I feel a prick. 

 

The fork I offered him is still with me. Thinking back, the time between my meeting with him and now is a series of coincidences. If they were building blocks, they would soon fall apart. 

 

"I'll leave you a replacement fork." 

 

"Thank you." 

 

As I held the more than half-empty coffee closer to my face, the freshness in the bitterness escaped my nose. 

 

I sip it, the dark, staining bitterness spreading over my tongue. I'm more of a coffee drinker than a tea drinker. Since my days as an idol, I have often been told that I am surprising. 

 

Since the master brought me a fork, I now have two of them. He just brought it to me and forgot to lower it. 

 

I lean back in my chair and look out the window. 

 

In the city during the daytime, there is a busy flow of people. Just looking at them makes me feel like I'm getting drunk. 

 

However, all the people I see have lives and may even have loved ones. This is how this world has been created. 

 

After meeting him, I came to realize that I was making someone happy. I didn't have that kind of heart during the cherry romance era. 

 

I decided to give it one more try. As an idol, I would return to that world again. 

 

"Shall I make you another cup of coffee?" 

 

"Eh?" 

 

Naturally, I turned my face toward the counter. The master was staring at me, and his gaze was very kind. 

 

"You wrinkled your brow." 

 

"Haha...... I was distracted." 

 

"It's okay, it's okay. You can't make that kind of face in front of him." 

 

I don't know what those words meant, but I felt like I looked terrible. Strangely, I wasn't embarrassed. This guy, how should I put it, has a very good way with women. My gut tells me that he must have been very popular in the past. 

 

"Um, can I move to the...... counter?" 

 

"Yes, of course. It's rattling empty, so you're welcome to stay longer." 

 

The master laughed to himself. 

 

Since there were no more people smoking in front of us, it didn't have to be this seat. If it was at the counter, the master would be there to talk to me. 

 

I moved my coffee and plate of mini pancakes and sat down in the seat where he had been sitting earlier. The faint smell of cigarettes lingered in the air and seeped into my body. 

 

"Yes, another coffee." 

 

"Oh, I didn't order that.......?" 

 

"My treat. My treat." 

 

He winked at me mischievously. He looked cute, though his gray hair looked good on him. I wonder how old he is. Probably younger than he really is. I could tell that somehow. 

 

The master noticed that there were two forks and finally lowered the one used for him here. It wasn't in the way, so I was fine with it as it was. 

 

Steam from the second cup of coffee. A nice aroma. I don't know, but I wonder why coffee in a coffee shop smells so soothing. 

 

"Does he come here often, Araki-san?" 

 

I asked unintentionally with my mouth still tasting the bitterness of the coffee. When I came here, I was planning to take a short rest and leave. Now that I've run into him, I've developed such curiosity. 

 

"We've known each other for about 10 years now, haven't we?" 

 

"Wow! So he's a regular?" 

 

"I wonder if he doesn't have anywhere else to go. Well, if you ask him, he'll tell you it's because it's easy to smoke." 

 

It was easy to imagine. I could easily imagine him laughing and telling me what a smoker's idea was. It was so funny that the corners of my mouth turned up slightly. 

 

I sipped my coffee to cover up this looseness as my eyes met the master's. I felt a little calmer. 

 

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"What kind of person is he, Araki-san?" 

 

"I think you know more about that than I do." 

 

I'm...... not so sure. 

 

Of course, that doesn't mean I don't know. But the time since we've known each other is too different. 

 

"Well, he looks like a solid person. He seems to be good at his job. I often hear him complaining, though." 

 

"M-hm. I can kind of understand." 

 

I know he's good at his job. I've known him for a poster appointment. Thanks to his seamless communication with the various staff members, the shoot went smoothly. I think he is probably the type of person who would rise to the top even if he worked as a staff member in the entertainment industry. 

 

"Yes, yes. I heard about you a lot, too." 

 

"......Me?" 

 

"He used to be your nerd. So..." 

 

I wonder if the master knows who I am. When I walked into the store, he treated me like he'd never seen me before. Oh well. I'm curious about the story. 

 

"What kind of things did he say?" 

 

"He said you were the cutest girl in the world." 

 

"......Weird guy." 

 

When I hear this from people, I am more embarrassed than happy. Maybe it's not just me, but many people. 

 

But when the embarrassment wears off, the joy that appears is even greater. I have to cover my mouth with my hand to hide my grin. 

 

"Do you care?" 

 

I tilted my head, not understanding the meaning of that question. I couldn't make out the master's expression, imho. 

 

If I were to answer that question as it stands now, it would be "I care." But that is about the substance of his question, never the essence. 

 

So I felt it was wrong to reply that way. Here, I honestly asked back, "What is it?" Then the master slightly raised the corners of his mouth. 

 

"I mean, do you care about him?" 

 

"......That is." 

 

I knew that a poor answer would lead to misunderstanding. So I thought for a minute and came up with a few words. 

 

"I was interested in it as a friend." 

 

I needed to say it clearly. There is no reason to imply anything. 

 

"Yes. I thought you were having an affair. After what you did." 

 

"Well, that's...... the thing." 

 

"Hahaha. I'm sorry for asking such a weird question." 

 

He backed down honestly. I thought he would bite back more, but he didn't. Every time I think about what I just did, my chest rumbles. So much so that it hurts. 

 

With me in the background, it was the master who continued to speak. 

 

"Between you and me, he's the type of guy who gets depressed when he has a broken heart." 

 

"Broken heart......" 

 

"Yeah. He's a serious guy." 

 

I wasn't going to dig deep into his past. I was curious, but it was enough to know what kind of person he was. 

 

Just as I was a member of an idol group called Sakura Romance, he lived, fell in love, and wept like anyone else. 

 

I only knew him from the handshake session, which was terribly disconcerting information for me. But since he said it, it must be true. 

 

I wouldn't be surprised if he is dating someone now. In fact, it wouldn't be surprising if he was already married. 

 

I feel a little pain. My breath, my chest. 

 

A pain different from the anxiety of returning to idolhood slowly spreads throughout my body. 

 

I wonder how he felt when he put the pancake I offered him in his mouth. I wanted to ask him, but he was gone. He must have gone back to work. 

 

I am curious. What did he think? And - why did I do that to myself? 

 

I look down and see the pancakes I'm about to eat. They are already cold, but I can't leave them behind since they were a treat. 

 

I stick a fork in it and bring it to my mouth. It's sweet. It's sweet. It's a taste I know. And yet. 

 

I tasted a little bit of tobacco.

 

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