I Have Medicine

Chapter 1252: Calm Down, I'm Only Your God


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Chapter 834: Calm Down, I’m Only Your God

(MC POV)

No, really, what the fuck? Why the hell are you praying right now?!

No wait, everyone is doing it as well?! Even you Allan?! Weren’t you guys all about not being reliant on religion or something?!

Look! Your flyer here even says you’re trying to abolish the current religious dogma the country has!

Oh wait… You never said you were going to abolish it, just that you were unhappy with the current standards and there’s nothing here that says you’re not going to start a new one either…

What the hell, you guys are just a bunch of people with too much free time on their hands aren’t you? I feel like my feelings were cheated! Give me back my feelings!

Ugh… Just look at Cai Hong and Iris staring at me with equally sparkly eyes, I can already tell what they’re thinking without them saying anything.

Ok wait, let’s just calm down a little bit here, maybe they’re just mistaking me for someone else.

I cleared my throat, “Ahem… I’m sorry but I’m a little confused here… What did you just call me?”

“A Goddess!” Vincent proclaimed again, as though that explained everything.

“Errr… Yeah, I heard that… What I wanted to know is why are you calling me that?”

“Only a Goddess could have such insights like yours! We are truly blessed!!”

“No, no, wait a minute… I believe whatever I told you was pretty much common sense right? It’s not like such knowledge to be limited to gods or goddesses…”

He lifted his head to look at me, “I see! This must be a test of our devotion! Do not worry Goddess! No matter the trial we will definitely pass it! We will definitely follow you as you guide us to the new age!”

I discreetly looked to the side where Beta was hiding with Valeria.

I had expected both of them to at least have some reaction to the current situation, but neither of them were even showing surprise at my predicament.

Beta was simply nodding like this was the expected outcome while Valeria was… Err… She looks like she’s imagining doing lewd things to me so I’ll not comment on that. I have a feeling if she had seen me making love with Diao Chan in my female form that night, she wouldn’t have run away but jumped in to join us instead.

Putting that aside for now… I kind of have an understanding of what’s going on here a little bit now.

Most of them have been taught this country’s values in worshipping the ‘founding god’ from a really young age. But when they grew up to their rebellious phase, they wanted to try and be different in some way or another and this was the result.

Despite that, the idea of worshipping a divine being was already ingrained within them too strongly to be completely let go. Thus, the ‘change’ they sought for was merely just to find something more physical they could worship instead of someone they’ve never met in their life.

So… I guess now that they’ve found something, or rather, someone ideal, they would cling onto them for guidance.

Seriously what the hell… I thought this was going to be some cult here that was trying to overthrow the current regime. Turns out it’s just a few rebellious kids who wanted someone to notice them.

Ugh… As much as I don’t want to admit it… This is why I prefer my disciples’ fanclub over this silly religion Tatiana had made for me. At least the fanclub only lets willing people join it so there wouldn’t be split factions like this to create trouble. Even Guiying did not make it official as well so everyone in it was definitely genuinely interested in joining.

… Right?

Oh whatever, I already decided I’ll just refrain from remembering about it.

I briefly considered if I should continue with my charade of being ‘Jess’ but decided it would definitely cause more problems if I did, so I chose to reveal myself right there.

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With a snap of my fingers, my female form reverted back to my male form. Thankfully Xun Guan also removed the bra from me or that would have been pretty awkward. Also, don’t think I didn’t hear you make that disappointed sigh, you really were having fun touching me all over weren’t you?

And that lesbian knight over there! Did you really just cluck your tongue at me?! You’re just as bad as a certain succubus phoenix I know!

I heard several gasps and I looked down to see all of them looking up at me with various expressions of disbelief.

“F… F… Founding… God?” Allan asked in a whisper.

I raised my eyebrow at them, “Yes, it’s me. Weren’t you guys there when I came in yesterday? It felt like the entire city came to witness the procession with how big the turnout was.”

Vincent’s eyes widened, “That… That was truly Founding God?! We had suspected it was a ploy by the temples to gain more power! They used an enclosed carriage to hide whoever they were escorting too!”

Ah, right… I didn’t exactly show my face until we reached the top either, that makes sense.

I sighed, “Well, it really is me. Sorry to burst your bubble but unfortunately your country got it right… Well, mostly right. Your High Maiden is also still alive after all these years, though I suspect all of you will hear about it soon enough anyway. So for your– What are you doing?”

All of them had begun prostrating themselves in the middle of my talk for some reason.

“We sincerely beg for Founding God’s benevolent mercies!” Vincent pleaded with a pathetic sounding voice. “We will restore this chapel to its original state! We never knew! Please forgive us!”

“Please forgive us!” The rest cried out.

Allan suddenly pulled out a knife from under his shirt and I could see Beta moving out of the corner of my eye when he did so.

Luckily, she stopped herself when she realised he only took it out to put it at his own throat. Yeah, no need to cut his head off, Beta so put that sword away.

Wait no, this isn’t fine either, what are you doing, Allan?!

“Founding God! Please allow me to atone for everyone’s sins here with the sacrifice of my life!”

I quickly reached forward and stopped his blade before it could pierce his throat, “Wait, wait! I’m not mad or anything you know? Er… That’s right! Isn’t it this country’s policy to allow free worship? I really don’t mind, you know? So please stop already!”

“No! Please allow us to atone for our sins! We have borne such heretical sins all this while!”

His eyes told me he was absolutely serious in his words. I guess knowing that they ‘offended’ their god was something quite traumatizing.

“No, you’re really blowing this out of proportions… Er… Would it help if I said that I forgive all of you?”

All of them stopped moving and looked at me in shock.

“Tru… Truly? F… Founding God… Forgives us?” Vincent muttered.

“Yes, I do.”

A few tense seconds passed before Allan dropped the knife in his hands and all of them started crying together.

Behind me, Cai Hong started clapping, “Yayyyy! Papa cool!!”

Well yes, Cai Hong is always cute. That’s good enough for me.

I want to go home…

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