Ch39 - “I can’t hold anything in my mind now except you.”

There was silence in the house.

Yan Xiao gave Ye Fei a steady and firm look, as if he wanted to convey his thoughts through his eyes. 

Ye Fei felt powerless and his heart ached. He wanted to tell Yan Xiao that they only had two years left. He wanted Yan Xiao to stop holding unrealistic fantasies and accept the inevitable conclusion. But as he met Yan Xiao’s persistent, determined gaze, words disappeared as it emerged from his mouth.

After a long while, he lifted his head and kissed Yan Xiao’s lips. “Brother Yan, we’ll do what we can and let heaven take its judgment; our worries about the future should be left there. Don’t think so much, let’s just be happy together. Is that okay?”

 

 

Yan Xiao felt that Ye Fei’s words were unintelligible; was he questioning his feelings? He clenched his arms around Ye Fiei and kept repeating the sentences “I like you very much” and “I’m not unhappy”, his tone serious, as if he was persuading Ye Fei into accepting his contracting bid for a world-class project.

Yan Xiao’s words made the dismal atmosphere into a comical one, and Ye Fei was amused by his nonsensical appearance. After kissing him for a while, Ye Fei pushed him away and hinted, “I’m too tired from flying. I want to go to bed early today, so I’ll take a shower first.” 

Yan Xiao said “Okay” and let go of his hand as if it was natural.

 

Ye Fei went to his original room to find pajamas, with Yan Xiao looming over him like a persistent tail.

“What?” Ye Fei pulled out a light gray nightgown, shook it in front of him, and teased, “Do you want to bathe with me?”

Yan Xiao glanced away and stiffly denied.

 

“Really?” Ye Fei peeped downwards and breathed softly in Yan Xiao’s ear, “Then who was the person who used the bathroom for a long time this morning?”

Yan Xiao clasped Ye Fei’s waist, his eyes gradually darkening.

“Brother Yan,” Ye Fei smirked, looking straight at Yan Xiao, and continued to tease without fear of death, “What were you thinking at that time?”

 

Yan Xiao’s Adam’s apple rolled a few times, and he ducked his head. After a while, he hoarsely said, “I miss you.” 

“No point, I’m going to have an EMG tomorrow.” Ye Fei leaned on his shoulder and slyly grinned. He needed to be absolutely relaxed for tomorrow’s checkup; a strenuous exercise that night was obviously unsuitable.

“Next time,” Ye Fei’s crimson lips parted lightly, and whispered in a wanton manner, “I’ll clean up and you can have your way.”

After he finished speaking, he rubbed Yan Xiao’s abdominal muscles and hummed as he entered the bathroom. He did not realize Yan Xiao’s darkened eyes were filled with aggression as they chased after him.

When Ye Fei came out, he went directly to Yan Xiao’s room. As soon as he entered, he felt like giggling. Yan Xiao’s bedside table was a handsome and massive being. Unfortunately, the small furry turtle placed on it destroyed the classic look. 

“It’s still here,” Ye Fei climbed onto the bed and poked at the turtle’s shell, “I’m already here, let’s throw this ugly thing away.”

Yan Xiao rejected the thought and cuddled Ye Fei from behind. Ye Fei stopped his chuckles, and obediently relaxed into Yan Xiao before turning off the bedside lamp.

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After a good night’s sleep, Ye Fei woke up again and it was morning again. Ye Fei squinted his eyes at the ceiling, and it took time for his head to start filling with thoughts again. He moved, and Yan Xiao’s voice immediately came from above his head.

 

“Ye Fei, morning.” Ye Fei turned his head and met Yan Xiao’s clear gaze.

“Woke up already?” Ye Fei rubbed his eyes, kicked off the blanket and sat up, “Why didn’t you get up?” 

“I want to stay with you for a while.” Yan Xiao assisted in adjusting his nightgown.

Ye Fei yawned and leaned against him as if he were boneless. “How did you arrange it today?”

“Go for the genetic test first,” Yan Xiao told him, “and then do the EMG.” He paused, hugged Ye Fei tighter, and imparted in a low voice, “It might hurt a bit.”

“It’s a small thing,” Ye Fei retrieved his nonchalant manner and gave a casual grin, “It’s just a check-up, how much can it hurt.” Knowing that Yan Xiao was worried, Ye Fei did not want to continue on the topic any further and hurriedly changed the subject. “Get up, we’ll pack up, quickly go through the check-up and finish our business early.” 

Yan Xiao said “OK” and went to the bathroom with him.

It was past nine o’clock when the two of them finished their breakfast and went out. The driver dutifully waited at the door and drove them to the hospital.

The genetic test was straightforward, and they simply took his blood. It was the EMG that was more troublesome.

Because there were no symptoms of ALS, the doctor was unable to determine the location where it could start. Thus, Ye Fei had to do a whole-body EMG. 

“I just asked, it will take at least three hours,” Ye Fei recited to Yan Xiao while signing the letter of consent, “Don’t wait here, there’s still things for you to do in the company right? Just let the driver stay, otherwise Cheng Minghao is going to protest.”

“I’m not busy” Ye Fei was being overwhelmingly indefatigable. “I’m not going to leave.”

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Ye Fei had no choice but to hand the letter of consent to the nurse who was waiting beside him. “Then have someone bring your laptop over and work while waiting in the corridor.”

Yan Xiao still refused. 

“Ye Fei,” Yan Xiao softly whimpered, “I can’t hold anything in my mind now except you.”

Ye Fei was flabbergasted, before smiling in relief. “Okay, then wait for me to come out.”

Ye Fei had experienced a lumbar puncture in his first life and a muscle biopsy in this life. He thought an EMG would be a piece of cake for him, but he miscalculated.

When that long electrode pierced into his flesh, he felt cold sweat forming down his back as the needle left a tingly sensation where it stabbed. 

“It’s alright, relax,” the kind-looking female doctor comforted him gently, “While it’s sore now, it will be much better in the future.”

“Well,” Ye Fei accepted her kindness, and attempted to joke, “I can now understand the feeling of ”Ziwei”.”

 

The female doctor was amused by him: “You mean I’m Rong-momo?”

“Who said that?” Ye Fei raised his eyebrows, “How can anyone associate you with that old hag?” 

“It’s no use flattering,” the female doctor stabbed a needle into his biceps, looked for nerves from different angles, and smiled, “No matter what, this needle has to do its job.”

Ye Fei groaned, and physiological tears started to well up in his eyes.

“How many needles will I need?” In order to divert his attention, Ye Fei started to chat with the doctor.

“Forty to fifty,” the female doctor continued to fiddle with the needle without raising her head. “It’s more difficult if you want to have a full-body checkup, so be patient.” 

Ye Fei’s sight turned black; he started to regret agreeing to Yan Xiao’s request.

The female doctor had a good technique, and she was accurate in plunging into his muscles. Even so, Ye Fei was too sore to sit up afterwards. His head felt clogged in smoke, and sweat dripped down his hair. He was too out of it to recognize Yan Xiao when he came in.

“Ye Fei,” Yan Xiao’s face turned pale, as if he had also done an EMG with Ye Fei. He wanted to hug Ye Fei, but was cautious of touching him where he was bruised. He could only stand by the bed, comforting him clumsily over and over again, “It’s alright, it’s alright.”

Ye Fei had always affected a blasé and nonchalant manner, as if nothing interested him. However, since he was a child, he was self-reliant and independent, resulting in an unwillingness to show weakness to others and a high degree of suspicion. But when he met Yan Xiao’s concerned gaze, his usual mask of grace disappeared. 

“Brother Yan,” he closed his eyes and whispered in a light voice, as if he would dissipate when blown by the wind, “I hurt so much.”

“Just this time,” Yan Xiao took out a tissue and clumsily wiped away his sweat before kissing his face lightly, “I won’t let you be hurt again.”

Ye Fei thought his words hilarious and wanted to question how Yan Xiao intended to guarantee this. But he lacked the strength to continue talking, and only gave him a weak beam in reply.

After lying down for more than half an hour, Ye Fei felt that he had almost completely recovered and insisted on leaving the hospital with Yan Xiao. Yan Xiao had wanted to piggy-back Ye Fei but the latter rejected obstinately. 

“I’m only sore when the needle got stabbed in.” Ye Fei chuckled as he got into the car, “I’ve already healed up, I’m not so soft.” Yan Xiao turned a deaf ear to Ye Fei’s prattling, and carefully fastened his seat belt. He ordered the driver to slow down, and they crept home at a snail’s pace.

The EMG results would be available the next day, while genetic testing would take about ten days.

Ye Fei could clearly feel that Yan Xiao was a little anxious. Although Yan Xiao retained his lack of expression, he started to check the contents of his inbox every half an hour. Ye Fei sighed, not knowing how to make Yan Xiao feel better. He recalled someone telling him that eating something sweet would make things better; and turned into the kitchen.

The only sweet things at home were those Haagen-Dazs that Yan Xiao hoarded. 

Ye Fei opened the freezer compartment of the refrigerator and was stunned. A pile of popsicles greeted him where the Haagen-Dazs were originally placed. Ye Fei did not think much about it and took two of them. Tossing one to Yan Xiao, he said while unpacking, “Your taste buds changed quite a lot.”

“Don’t you like it?” Yan Xiao quietly gazed at him.

 

Ye Fei was surprised. “What—” Ye Fei’s voice stopped abruptly, and the conversation he once had with Yan Xiao instantly came to mind.

“Don’t you like it?” Yan Xiao was stunned when he saw Ye Fei’s disgruntlement. 

“Well,” Ye Fei put the paper bucket on the table. “It’s too sweet.”

“You don’t like it…” Yan Xiao looked at the ice cream bucket in despair.

“What do you like?”

In fact, Ye Fei did not eat such things often, so he said casually, “Stuff that isn’t sweet.” 

“For example?” Yan Xiao stubbornly asked.

“How about popsicles?” Ye Fei thought about it and joked.

It was just a joke, and he had forgotten what he had said long ago, but Yan Xiao remembered that ‘casual remark’. Ye Fei was quiet for a long time.

“How did you know that I would come back?” Ye Fei lifted his chin. “I could have simply rejected you or gone back on my word.” 

“I don’t know.” Yan Xiao expressed. He tore open the wrapping paper covered with ice crystals, stuffed the stick into Ye Fei’s hand, and maintained, “I just want you to be able to eat it right away when you want it.”

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