It’s not my fault that I screamed……Definitely not….. But I’m disturbing the neighbors… Forgive me, dear neighbors…
It’s because he… his arms! They’re on my body! My bias! His arms! They’re wrapped around my waist?! And his face? Isn’t it too close to mine? Am I okay? ‘Cuz I have this handsome guy, smiling, with his face this close to me, I…! Ah, I’m deceased. I can no longer fangirl to my bias. My brain will end up frying the more I think about this. Maybe I’m dreaming? Am I perhaps in a dream right now…? Crap, my delusion has become a reality… Hold on a second. There’s no way that I’m dreaming. Our close distance is dangerous. Extremely dangerous! I don’t understand. I really don’t understand.
And, and also! I unintentionally grabbed Taiga-san’s hand when he lifted me up! Oh no, I bet he thinks that I’m heavy! I mean, I AM heavy! Compared to the heroine, that is! I know how much I weigh! And yet, he could lift me up so effortlessly?! Ain’t that really manly of him? So the only thing I can do is fall for him, right? How many times do I have to fall in love with him for this love to be enough? How many times do I need to prepare myself to die?
Crap, my hands are trembling like crazy… Like, on the whole-another-level type of crazy. I’d spill all the water inside the glass if I had it in my hands right now. It’s THAT bad. Then, I feel tears running down my cheeks. My tear glands are as fragile as tofu when it comes to matters involving Taiga-san, so I can’t help but cry when he does things like this to me.
Taiga-san didn’t hold me that long since the sofa was just a short distance away. But it felt like long enough that I could see a Jack o’ Lantern leading me to the afterlife. Man, I really felt like I was about to lose my life.
Taiga-san was laughing when he put me down on the sofa. Taiga-san is laughing… But I really was this close to dying… I’m happy that he’s laughing. I really am. Getting hugged is also a reward to me, you know? But, these kinds of things are awful for my heart… I think I’ve lost about 10 years’ worth of my life just now… He should’ve told me in advance to prevent me from a sudden death… About a week… Nay, it should be about a month in advance. I want to prepare my heart first…
“Well, you didn’t die.”
Taiga-san, sitting beside me as I lay down on the sofa while hiding my face, happily said.
“I feel like I’m dying….”
Taiga-san laughs even more loudly when he hears my words. I want to ask him what makes him laugh in this situation? I have no idea which part of our conversation sounds funny to this bias of mine… Please tell me… Which part is it?
“Someone is dying right here, and yet… How cruel….”
“Man, your reactions really are funny.”
Are my reactions funny to him? What does he think a person in love is? I trembled so bad like pudding on a plate because he did that to me. No wait, pudding has the power to heal people’s hearts. I’ve been rude to pudding.
“Blergh, I feel like throwing up.….”
“If you wanna throw up, go throw up in the bathroom.”
“How cold… Someone here is about to throw up, and yet….”
I was struck with severe nausea, so I couldn’t move for a while.
It looks like Taiga-san has lost interest in me because I can hear him playing with his phone next to me. My nausea subsided a lot while I was lying down to the sound of his mobile game and a variety show played on TV as our background music. I was secretly trying to get off the sofa when I heard a loud “oi” coming from someone next to me.
It seems like I have lost the right to get off the sofa. So, I watched the TV while lying on my side for quite some time. I genuinely have no energy to get up. Honestly, I feel incredibly sorry for making such rude behavior in my bias’s home.
I could let out a small laugh when I watched the TV as I slowly got used to being in my bias’s home. Then I looked at the clock because I was suddenly curious about the time. And the needles on the clock indicated that it was already half-past eight in the evening. It seemed like quite a bit of time had passed.
I sprang to my feet to hurriedly get off the sofa and sit down seiza-style on the floor.
“Taiga-san, it’s about time I head back home. Thank you very much for today.”
Taiga-san took his eyes off the phone he was playing with to look at me, who was bowing down to him.
“You’re leaving?”
“Yes. I’m sorry for taking up so much of your time.”
I stood up and repeatedly bowed to him before picking up my bag.
Meanwhile, Taiga-san stood up from the sofa and went to the front door first.
Is he going to see me off at his front door?! Thank you very much! Taiga-san is really kind…. Why is everybody scared of him when he’s actually this kind…? Maybe because he’s the bad boy who always gets into fights…? Yeah, I’d be scared of him too if I didn’t know anything about him. I’d feel hesitant to approach him.
I hastily head to the front door refusing to let Taiga-san wait for me any second longer. I crouched to put on my shoes next to Taiga-san, standing in the corridor.
“Then, thank you for having me.”
I bowed deeply to him and was about to open the door when a hand reached out behind me and beat me to it.
Huh?! Did I just sprout an extra hand from my back? No, no way. It’s the kind-hearted Taiga-sama who opened up the door for me. He’s so kind that my heart could only fall for him all over again. Thank you very much for your trouble…. I could’ve opened up the door by myself….
My head swayed back and forth like a broken toy as I passed through the door that Taiga-san had graciously opened for me. And then I turned to Taiga-san once again and was about to repeat the words “Thank you for having me” and “thank you very much” to him when a black wall suddenly appeared before me. It caused me to freeze to the spot with my mouth hanging open.
I knew that it was NOT a wall. And I also knew what or who was actually in front of me. Precisely because I was aware of those two points, I felt confused.
“Move.”
“Oh, y-yes! Right away!”
I moved at the fastest speed I could muster at Taiga-san’s order. Taiga-san then stepped outside of the door and closed it.
His keys rattled as he locked his door. Both of us were now in the hallway. My head was filled with question marks.
“Are you planning to go out somewhere, Taiga-san?”
Why is Taiga-san going out? Is he planning to go to the convenience store? Or did he have some plans or something? It’s my fault for staying too long…. If you told me to leave, I’d immediately see myself off…. So, don’t hesitate to talk to me next time….
Taiga-san answered when I asked him the question that had been on my mind while walking in front of me.
“I’ll send you back.”
“………Hm?”
Am I hallucinating? Because I just heard that Taiga-san said he will send me back….
I was having serious doubts about myself as I headed to the elevator where Taiga-san was.
Then, Taiga-san, who stood before me, suddenly flicked my forehead. The kind of typical sort of pain. Like the nostalgic type of pain caused by a flick on the forehead.
The impact of Taiga-san’s flick caused me to see three of him when I looked at him while holding my forehead in pain. But why did he suddenly flick my forehead, though? I mean, that’s so playful of him. So cute. Not gonna lie, it really hurts, though. Like, seriously hurts…. My forehead is throbbing.
Taiga-san then dumbfoundedly said while I was still in agony from the pain.
“What time do you think it is? Even if you’re you, you’re still a chick.”
“*sob* so kind.”
He flicked my forehead once again when I subconsciously blurted out my thoughts. It really hurts.
We both went down by elevator (I was super nervous. Taiga-san smells really good.) When we exited his apartment complex, I suddenly realized I’d forgotten my umbrella.
The rain had stopped, but my umbrella was… what should I do? I don’t mind if Taiga-san wants to throw it away… No, let’s not bother him with such trifles.
“Taiga-san, I forgot my umbrella. Do you mind if we go back to pick it up?”
I feel awful about this. How could I not even notice it by the time I went out? I’m such a piece of garbage. Sure, I usually do forget a lot of things, but how could my brain decide to betray me at this point too?! Am I a chicken that forgets everything after walking three steps?
Taiga-san looked back at his apartment complex that we had just exited and said, “just pick it up later” to me.
Eh, hold on a second. I could come again next time?! It’s my first time hearing that, though?! I may step into that holy sanctuary again?!
“…Ah? Huh? Eh…?”
I’m speaking fluently in my brain, and I usually have no trouble blurting out my true thoughts to him, and yet why does my tongue forsake me at times like this? Is my mouth bugging? What the heck is “Ah? Huh? Eh?”? Am I the No-Face from studio Gh**li?
I took a few deep breaths before speaking again.
“I can come to your home again?!”
“Why? You don’t want to?”
“I thought that this would be the only time…. Eh? Are you sure?”
“Yeah. I don’t mind the phone calls, but it’s fun to see all your reactions directly in front of me.”
I don’t care whatever his reason is. I’m just happy that I’ll be able to step into my bias’s home again. Next time I’ll definitely memorize everything about his home. I’m going to savor the atmosphere too.
“… I’ll do my best and endure next time…… wait, that’s impossible. I’m gonna be the same the next I come, so I’ll do my best to make Taiga-san laugh.”
“That’s fine, but you should do your best to make eye contact with me next time.”
“Wha—-. That’s kind of… I will do my best after the next time of the next, next time.”
“Alright, you’re going to make eye contact with me after the third time you come to my house.”
“I’m sorry, I lied. I can’t do that because that’s impossible.”
“Did you just lie to me?”
“……N-no way… Me? Lying to Taiga-san? How could I….”
“That’s what I thought.”
“E-exactly.”
Awesome. My bias is so persistent that I lose my mind. Did Taiga-san seriously forget the many times I’ve confessed my love to him? Like are you okay? If our role gets reversed, you’ll be sleeping next to me in bed by now, so please be careful, okay?
I’ll pat myself on the back for being able to churn out words when we are this close to each other… I’m so impressed……. Because we usually would talk on the phone, being able to listen to his live voice like this feels so fresh. I mean, I love it so much. It’s a sexy male voice. A real live, sexy male voice. A man with a God’s vocal cords. He really ticks all of my preferences list… It’s incredible that the more he talks, the more I fall in love with him…. His ore-sama attitude is also fantastic… awesome…. Everyone, look at him… My bias is so cool…. It’s such a waste to have all of him for myself….
And then, somehow, I found myself at home in no time.
Just when I slowly managed to speak comfortably to Taiga-san when we are next to each other like this…. It puts so much strain on my heart whenever we are together, and my mind is always a mess, but now that I have to go home, I feel like I want to stay with him a little longer.
I mean, I already have a feeling of wanting to keep staying by his side. It’s harrowing and saddening for me to say goodbye…. We promised to meet again next time, but I don’t know when that time will come…. *sniff* I don’t want to go hoooome. I want to be with him mooooore.
But I have to get myself together. This is what I want, and Taiga-san has nothing to do with it.
“Thank you so much for walking me all the way back home. You really don’t have to, though… But because of me, you….”
“It was fun in its own way, so don’t worry about it.”
“Taiga-san is so kind… I truly can’t resist you…… With just the memories we’ve made today, I’ll be able to keep living….”
“You always love to exaggerate, huh?”
“I’m not! Listen here, Taigan-san. Each! And every single one! of the memories I’ve made by spending time with you is my treasure.! And they forever will be the most precious memories of my life, okay?! No matter how hard things get, I’ll be able to keep living just by replaying these memories— “Yeah, yeah, I got it” —Looks like you’re slowly getting used to what I’m saying, huh…?”
“I’ve heard them all over the phone, after all.”
“……Wait, so my action of telling you how I feel actually makes it harder for you to understand how I feel towards you…?”
“You’ve gotten plenty across to me.”
“Thank goodness—!”
Well then, I guess it’s about time we end this conversation in front of my house.
Taiga-san is going to walk home again. It’d be rude of me to drag this on any longer when I already took so much of Taiga-san’s precious time by making him send me home this time.
“I should go in now. I’m sorry for taking much of your time. But I’m really thankful for today. Have a safe journey home!”
“Sure. I’ll call you again.”
“I’ll be waiting…. Good night.”
“…night.”
I waved my hand a little to Taiga-san, turned around, and then jogged into my house.
My pounding heart hurt, but it was proof that I’ve been Taiga-san up until a while ago, so it was a pleasant pain for me.
That night I had trouble sleeping because I kept remembering the things that happened that day.