Chapter 83: Volume 5 - CH 11

-Alice’s weeping continued for a while.

And Cyclo was also spilling tears, holding on tightly to Alice’s shoulders.

Mist and Karim continued to keep a watchful eye on the surroundings, as if watching over the two.

This is a dungeon. There is a danger of being attacked by monsters. They were sitting defenseless in such a place, crying continuously. So it was a necessary measure.

And so – before long, Cyclo recovered. Alice wiped her tears and somehow stopped crying.

“……I’m sorry, big brother.”

Alice spoke the words of apology.

“No …… You don’t have to apologize. It’s my problem that I can’t forgive Alice.”

Cyclo awkwardly looks away and says.

“I should have talked to you properly from the beginning. If I had done that, you wouldn’t have had to cross any dangerous bridges. This is my fault because I’m such a kid that I’m not able to control myself.”

While saying this, Cyclo analyzes himself with a much cooler head.

Certainly, Cyclo resents Alice. He thinks she can’t forgive her.

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But – the time they have accumulated as a family is not a lie. And that’s why he understands that Alice’s words – the bad reputation of Cyclo that spread among the adventurers – were due to Alice’s poor speaking ability.

Yes. If you think about it, it’s nothing to worry about. It was simply a mismatch in the gears of fate. Or – it was his own fault for not paying attention and correcting her strictly because he loved her.

So – he can understand with reason that there is no need to resent Alice so much.

And he also knows that if he can only bridge the gap between reason and emotion, there will surely come a day when he will be able to forgive her.

He didn’t even understand such a thing that he could understand if he thought about it.

He was so overcome with emotion – with resentment, anger, and fear – that he lost myself as soon as he saw Alice.

Cyclo now understood that his childishness was not a good thing to begin with.

If someone had told him to grow up, he would have rebelled.

But Cyclo realized his childishness by himself. He wanted to fix it, to change it.

Therefore, at least when it came to Alice, Cyclo was able to keep his cool.

“For now–someday, until my feeling has calmed down. I’d like you to wait until then. Then maybe things will go back to normal.”

“–Yes! If you want me to do that, I’ll wait for you!”

Having received a colorful reply from Cyclo, Alice replied with a smile on her face.

But – when she saw that smile. An unexpected memory resurfaces in Cyclo’s mind.

“Start walking already, you piece of shit!”

“Shut up you incompetent!”

“That’s more than enough reward for a criminal! Don’t talk back to me!”

These are the memories of a time before he fell into the abyss and realized the true power of the Clock User.

The days when adventurers treated him with disdain and sometimes with violence.

Why did I have to go through such misery — Every time he thought about it, Cyclo had to think about it.

(Why did Alice — spread bad rumors about me?)

At first, he believed that such a thing was some kind of mistake.

However, every time he was hurt to the very limit, and every time he suffered, his rationality was eroded.

Eventually, he began to suspect that even the image of his cute little sister that he spoiled was a lie.

As he spends time in this way, his suspicions turn to truth.

He thought that — Truthfully, Alice didn’t care about him.

That is why she left home and became the adopted child of the guild master in the Royal Capital. In order to part with her past, she dared to speak ill of her brother.

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Such – in a healthy and normal state of mind, he would be dominated by thoughts that he would never have thought of.

And so, every time he thinks back aboout his sister – that smile. His heart has become enveloped in a deep hatred.

Now, Cyclo – even though reason can assure me that it is not.

And yet – as soon as he saw Alice’s smile.

The memories of those days come back and …… chills run through his body.

“Uhh …… Ghhh ……!”

Cyclo crumples to his knees and, unable to suppress the discomfort that rises in him, vomits up the contents of his stomach.

“Gehok, gehok ……!!”

“Master!?”

Mist rushes over to Cyclo, who suddenly seems to have fallen ill, and rubs his back.

Alice is puzzled when she sees Cyclo’s sudden change in behavior.

“B-Big brother ……!? W-What’s wrong!?”

Alice tries to approach Cyclo.

But – when Cyclo saw that.

His body trembled as if in fear.

“Wh- …… Why ……!? Gehok ……!”

Cyclo was bewildered and confused that he could not control his own body as he wanted to.

Mist tries to calm him down somehow.

And Alice, seeing Cyclo’s frightened state, stops thinking and stiffens up.

–The only one who seemed to understand the situation was Karim, who opened her mouth with a serious expression on her face.

“…… This is getting complicated.”

“Mr. Karim? Do you recognize Master’s symptoms!?”

Mist asks Karim as if clinging to hope.

“Probably. –I’ve seen it happen to adventurers from time to time. For example, an adventurer who is almost killed by a wolf-like monster is so traumatized by the experience that he is unable to move. He becomes too frightened to fight even if he sees a wild wolf or a dog, let alone a monster. Cyclo’s reaction looks just like …… the disease that such adventurers suffer from.”

“The cure!? What should we do to cure Master–“

Karim shook her head in response to Mist’s question.

“It’s a matter of the mind, after all. Some people stay that way until the end of their lives, while others come back to normal by chance. Whatever the case, there is nothing we can do about it.”

“No ……”

The first to despair at Karim’s words was Alice, even before Mist.

“The, big brother will never be able to …… get along with me again?”

“…… that’s a possibility, yes.”

Karim’s words brought a dark and heavy atmosphere to the place.

In the midst of all this, Cyclo breaks the silence by pounding his fist on the ground.

“…… damn it! Why, why, why, ……!”

It was a voice filled with regret.

“Why …… am I! Why am I so weak ……!! I should not be afraid of them anymore ……! I know it in my head, but ……!”

Cyclo cried out in pain.

“Why ……!”

There was no one who could answer that question.

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