Chapter 6: Realize and Recognize

This is a joke... Right?

But it couldn't be. The way everyone watched my face, waiting for some type of response, positive or negative, told me it wasn't. My brain was slow on the uptake, but my body still reacted on instinct. I reached out and grabbed... Julia's...? hand and gave it a few shakes. Before letting go, I thought that I should probably play along for now.

"Um, I'm Maya. I go by She/Her... Right?

Tanisha tries to suppress a giggle. Embarrassed, I glare daggers at her, then give her a push towards Julia.

"You're up next, since you think it's so funny."

She's stunned as all the attention is focused on her now.

"Y-yeah, of course... Tanisha, and uh, damn, how does it go?

This time, it's me and Julia's turn to laugh. I still don't know what's actually going on, but it helped to release the tension in the air. I noticed that Mr. Robert also relaxed a little when we do, but Chu is still a bit wound up.

"Okay, okay, let me do this right. I'm Tanisha. And I go by She/Her... Is that it?"

"Perfect!" Mr. Robert says. "Okay! I'll go next. My name is Robert and I present as He/Him."

Yeah... We can see that Mr. Robert...

I guess he could tell by my and Tanisha's 'That's obvious' look. He raises a finger and dramatically shakes it at us.

"Ah ah ah~ You should know to never judge a book by its cover."

With a smug smile, he looks to Chu and motions for her to go next. She looks between me and Tanisha. Seeing that she is now the center of attention, she steps back and rapidly shakes her head back and forth. Mr. Robert's smile falls, then he takes Chu to the far corner of the class, apologizing to her along the way. They quietly talk with each other until a loud sound interrupts their conversation.

A chime from the overhead speakers lets us know that we are officially late for class. Mr. Robert looks at the clock hanging over the white board, then makes his way over to his desk. He pulls open the top drawer and starts searching through it for something. First, he takes out a couple of hall passes, so we don't get reprimanded by the security guards for being out in the halls after the late bell. He quickly scribbles our names and reasons for being late onto two of the passes.

Second, he pulls out a couple of pamphlets. He takes my hall pass and sticks it in between the pages, then hands it to me. He does the same for Tanisha. On the cover, in a big, colorful font is-

Gender and Sexuality Studies?

"I'll tell you once again; My name is Robert, I identify as He/Him, and I am the advisor to the unofficial Gender Affirmation Club. What I really wanted was to form an LGBTQ+ Club for our school, but we still need a couple more members to get the go-ahead from the school."

Mr. Robert looks at us while saying the last part.

Oh boy. The hints are not subtle at all.

"I was planning on officially establishing the club over summer break and introducing it proper on the next school year..." He says, as he side eyes Julia, "But it seems 'someone' couldn't wait."

Julia turns away, blushing a bit.

"I wish we had time so I could explain all of this better. I'm sorry for dumping all of this on you two so soon. That's why I'm giving the both of you these pamphlets so maybe you can understand a little of what we are about. In there are some of the basics that you can understand quickly, and there are some websites that are listed under each topic that goes a lot deeper into the subject."

I flip the pamphlet over in my hand, glancing at the front and back. When I look to Tanisha, she had already opened it and was flipping through the pages at a remarkable speed. Maybe she knows this better than I do? We're gonna have a talk about this at lunch later; maybe Chu could explain this to us, whenever she felt like talking. I opened to the page that my hall pass was sticking out of.

"Listen, I know this is a little confusing. That's why I would like for you two to come back to this room for our Gender Affirmation Club after school. We have an expert that can explain this a little better that I can on such short notice. Is that something that you two are available to do today?"

Tanisha shook her head and let loose a sigh. "I mean, I'm curious now. I gotta know what this is about. Right?" She turned to me saying that.

But I didn't respond right away. I was looking at the page that the hall pass was sticking out of. Skimming through the page, I saw one or two words I'd recognized, and a bunch I had never seen or heard anyone talking about. Before I got the chance to read any of the descriptions, someone suddenly grabbed my arm. I looked up to see Chu by my side, looking more worried than before. Everyone else is also staring at me.

Uh oh. I think they might have taken my silence as something bad.

"Sorry! I was just... thinking about something unrelated. Yeah, I'll be there." I give Chu a reassuring smile, hoping to calm her nerves.

"Great! Now that this is all settled, I think it's time for you guys to get a move on." He says, ushering us out of the room. When we get to the hallway, Mr. Robert gives the rest of us a goodbye wave, then leads Julia down the hallway towards the dean's office. I stop Tanisha and Chu before we end up going our separate ways. 

"Uh, hey... Just wanted to let you know that whatever happens, we're still gonna be friends, okay? We can wait until your absolutely sure you want to tell us."

Chu started to smile.

"Yeah, we'll always be your best friends, girl!" Tanisha adds on.

Chu frowned.

Wait... what just happened?! Everything was going fine!

"Thanks guys. I'll... talk to you later." She says. With her head down, Chu walks down the hall opposite of where we have to go. I share a worried glance with Tanisha.

"What did I do?"

"I dunno... I thought you had some idea about what was up with her?" I ask in a questioning manner, folding my arms across my chest. She did know something before this all started after all. Tanisha's eyes go wide with shock from my sudden accusation.

"I, uh... I'm just as confused as you are! She sputters out.

"Uh huh..."

I peer at her through squinted eyes. Everyone's been teasing this secret for a while and I feel like I'm the only one out of the loop. We walk beside each other until we reach the intersection in the hallway. At this point, we split up and go our separate ways; Tanisha going to her Algebra class, while I head off to my history class.

When I reach my class, I peer through the small glass window on the door. I can see Mrs. Bennet pacing back and forth at the front of the class with a teachers' history guide in hand. Everyone else has their nose buried in their textbook. I reach for the doorknob and give it a twist...

Aaaaand it's locked. Gahhhh... This is gonna suck...

Mrs. Bennet is a stickler for tardiness. It's already embarrassing being late and having to do the 'walk of shame' in front of the entire class. She adds onto that by locking the door and drawing all of the class's attention onto you. She can be really annoying about it.

I reluctantly give the door two quick knocks with my knuckles. Through the window, I see her stop pacing in front of the class; her eyes squinting to see who just interrupted her lesson. She makes her way over to the door and makes a grand show of swinging the door wide open. Mrs. Bennet takes a step back as I try to walk past her and get to the only available seat in the room, a desk at the very front of the class. I don't get very far, as she keeps one hand on the doorknob, blocking me from going and further.

"And where were you, Miss Edwards? My class started a few minutes ago. Mind explaining why you felt the need to show up late to my lesson?"

At this point, everyone in the class had lifted their head up off the desk and was watching Mrs. Bennet grill me for an answer. Not wanting this to go on for longer than it needs to, I flashed my hall pass in front of her face.

"Mr. Robert needed my help with something, so he asked me to stay behind for a minute." I explained to her. She took the pass from me and began looking over the little note Mr. Robert had scribbled on the bottom. All I could do was stand there awkwardly as she read it. She then took a step to the side, finally letting me in. I quickly move to the only empty seat right next to Mrs. Bennet's desk and sit down.

"Of course, a student of Mr. Robert is the one that shows up late."

She crumples up the hall pass that I gave her and tosses it in the small trash can next to the door. As she walks back toward her desk, she tells me to open my textbook to page 72, picking up her own history guide and resuming class. After about thirty minutes into the lesson, I got a notification on my phone. Someone was sending me a text, but I couldn't answer it while I was at the front of the class right in front of Mrs. Bennet. She's let us know that she doesn't appreciate having phones out distracting us from her lesson.

Vrrrr

My phone goes off again. I really hope that's it. While I have the sound set low, that's not really going to help when I have the seat closest to Mrs. Bennet, while also sitting in a quiet classroom.

Vrrrr

Mrs. Bennet was writing on the white board when she suddenly freezes.

Vrrrr

Her head snaps in the general direction of the sound that she heard.

Vrrrr

Please stop...

...

Vrrrr... Vrrrr

Mrs. Bennet locks onto me, putting her hands on her hips.

Welp... There goes my phone...

She walks up to my desk and sticks her hand out. I look around and see that everyone's attention is on me again. Hesitating, I reach into my pocket and take my phone out. But before handing it over to Mrs. Bennet, I take a quick glance at the screen, just to see who it was.

 

Nisha: YOOOOOO HAVE U SEEN SOME OF THE CRAZY STUFF ON HERE!?!

Nisha: like u ever hear of being transgender ?.?

Nisha: I think thats what julia meant when she introduced herself!

Nisha: OH also dont mention her old name like AT ALL!!! its super bad if u do!!!

Nisha: wait she might not b out yet  -_-  that cud b bad if we expose her like that  0_0

Nisha: bruh this is still a bit confuzing ?.?

Nisha: hello?

Nisha: HELLO?

 

The message I read on my phone had me frozen for a couple of seconds. I think that I had heard of transgender before, or something similar to it, at least. I went to type in a quick response, when Mrs. Bennet snatched my phone out of my hands.

What the hell?!

"You can have this back at the end of the class since you think it's more important than what I'm teaching you!" She said, shaking the hand holding my phone. She stomps over to her desk, opens one of the drawers at the bottom, and tossed my phone inside. Everyone thought this was hilarious, judging by their loud snickering. Mrs. Bennet then continued teaching the class like nothing even happened.

I was in an awful mood by the time class was over. Right when the overhead speaker chimed in, signaling for us to change classes, Mrs. Bennet went over to her desk and took out my phone. She called me over while everyone else was packing up to leave.

"You know what happens when your caught with your phone out in class, why would you even try to use it right in front of me?"

I use my phone in your class all the time. This is just the first time you've ever caught me...

It took every bit of my willpower not to roll my eyes at her.

"Sorry Mrs. Bennet. My friend was kinda freaking out. Just wanted to send her a helpful message. I lied,

"Do NOT bring it to my class again!" She said with a raised voice.

Whatever...

I turned away from her and made my way out of her class. As I walked down the hallway to my next class, I checked my phone to see if Tanisha left anymore messages.

 

Nisha: wait

Nisha: dont tell me u r actually paying attention to Bennets class  =w=

Mymy: I WAS AT THE FRONT OF THE CLASS

You are reading story I Think My Little Brother Might Be… at novel35.com

Mymy: HOW CAN I RESPOND TO YOU IF BENNET IS RIGHT IN MY FACE!!!

Mymy: thx btw she took my phone in class bcuz of u

Nisha: LOL

Mymy: =/

 

I put my phone away as I descended the staircase to the first floor. I was on my way to my PE class, when I spotted Julia sitting in the main office through the window. I was alarmed, thinking she might be in trouble, but she just seemed to be extremely bored. I stopped my journey to the gym on the far side of the school and went to the office instead.

"Hey..."

Julia stopped slouching lazily in her chair and snapped upright when I called out to her.

"Oh, hey!" She said, sweeping the hair out of her eyes.

"You okay? You're not in trouble, are you?"

"Hmm? Oh! No, I'm fine. Mr. Robert wanted to let the staff know that I am going to go by Julia now and they freaked out." She said, with a smile on her face.

"Soooo... Isn't that bad? I mean, you do want to be Julia now, right? Not by any other name?"

I remembered what Tanisha texted me about not mentioning her old name. I wasn't going to if it was actually bad to say it, I was just going to be extra careful about what I said when talking to her.

She watched me for a moment, processing what I said, then nodded slowly.

"Yeah, that's right."

I let go of a breath that I didn't know I was holding in.

"Okay, so your fine with being called "Julia' out in the open?"

She nodded again.

"good! That's... good."

Silence...

I had so many questions and now seemed like a good time to try and get them. I could skip out on gym today.

I looked to Julia and asked, "Hey, can we talk?"

Another nod.

Okay. Cool. We're all cool here.

I sat down in the empty seat next to her. I rattled my brain, trying to think of what I wanted to ask first.

"So, are they gonna keep you here all day?" Was the first thing that came to mind.

"Hopefully not." She answered. "The staff wanted to know if my parents are okay with me going by Julia in school."

That totally slipped my mind. Not to be mean or anything, but I'm pretty sure that Julia was a boy. I'd think her parents would be freaked out or something if their kid came home one day and said that they were the opposite gender.

"And your parents... They were okay with you being... a girl?"

Julia took a deep breath and let it out slowly.

Oh no! I didn't mean-

I jumped up from my seat. "Sorry! I didn't mean that in a bad way!"

"No no! It's fine!" Julia frantically waved her hands in front of me, trying to calm me down.

"SHHH!"

The lady at the front desk held a finger up to her lips as she glared at us.

We sat back down, sitting in silence for a bit.

I hope that wasn't too offensive...

"Look, I know that your confused right now and you want to understand what's going on." She turned to me in her seat. "So you can ask all the questions you want, and I'll try to give you a clear answer, okay?"

I nod to her.

"And about my parents. They were surprisingly cool with it. My mom was really happy to have a daughter. We went shopping over the weekend for new clothes. My dad is still coming around though."

My face quickly twisted in confusion.

Hunh? They were just... Okay with it? Okay with Julia being a girl?

"I know. Weird right? Like, imagine coming out to your parents and they accept you for who you are? Crazy!"

When Julia said this, I started imagining a scenario running in my mind. Me, one day, deciding that I was a boy, and trying to explain that to my parents. I think mom would be disappointed. We bonded over our love of fashion and makeup. It was something we both liked to do and I thought that if I were a guy, I couldn't wear dresses and skirts anymore.

My dad... I wasn't too sure. I know he always said that I was his baby girl and would always dote on me relentlessly when I was younger. But would that change if I told him I was a boy? I mean, it would have too. Guys don't really do the whole 'emotions' thing. I imagined trying to hug my dad as a guy and him pushing me away or something, because 'Guys are supposed to be strong' or something lame like that. But I couldn't see my parents outright rejecting me.

But what about JJ. What if one day, he decided that he wanted to be a girl. I tried to imagine him going up to mom and trying to tell her that he was a girl. I totally thought that mom would be okay with getting another daughter that she can dress up. All of that positive thinking stopped when I thought about JJ coming out to dad. I felt there was no way in hell he would accept his son wanting to be girl and wear girls clothes. Suddenly, the memory of JJ buying the prom dress resurfaced in my mind. 

"Still thinking?"

Julia broke me out of my daydream. Oh, right. I was asking her questions.

"Sorry about that, I was... thinking about something."

"Well, spit it out. What's on your mind?"

I was a bit hesitant to talk about JJ to someone that I technically had just started hanging out with today. I hadn't even told Nisha and Chu about what I saw JJ doing a couple of days ago. But I did want to tell someone, just to get their opinion on it at least. And Julia trusted us with a pretty big secret, so I think I could do the same.

"Sooo... I have this friend..." 

As I began to explain my hypothetical situation, Julia's eyes grew wide like she had just realized something for the first time. With a smug smile, she leaned forward and rested her chin on the palm of her hand.

"Mm hm, go on~"

AH, NO! I AM NOT HAVING THIS AS A MISUNDERSTANDING!

"Wait a minute! Not me! Let me start over!" I quickly blurted out, earning another 'Shhhhh!' from the staff behind the desk. I gave Julia an irritated look as she laughed it up.

"Okay." Julia said, wiping a tear from her eye. "Hit the reset button and explain it properly."

I eased back into my seat and calmed my nerves. I guess... I could tell her what was on my mind. I really wanted to get this off my chest, so I took in a deep breath, and let it out slowly. 

"I happened to see that my little brother was buying dresses in a video game a couple of days ago. He kinda freaked out when he saw that I caught him in the act. And that was just the first time."

I peeked at Julia out of the corner of my eye, waiting for a response. She was leaned back in her chair, hand over her mouth, deep in thought.

"Mm hmm..." Was all she replied with.

That's it?

Honestly, I expected more of some type of revelation from her.

"Was there anything else that you found strange?" She asked me.

Uh. Anything else... Oh!

"Yeah, actually. I don't know if it matters, but he told me that he 'didn't feel right' in his clothes this morning. He seemed... really torn up about it."

Again, I waited for a response. After not getting an immediate answer, I looked back to Julia again. She was leaned over the arm of her chair, staring me directly in the face.

"W-what?" It was kinda making me nervous. What was happening here?

Julia continued staring me down, then she asked, "Did you read that pamphlet, like, at all?"

"Uh, not yet? I wasn't able to do anything. I had Mrs. Bennet's class, so there wasn't much I could do without getting into major trouble."

"You have Mrs. Bennet? Yeah, that makes sense."

She faced forward again. There was more silence. Then, suddenly, she began sliding lower and lower in her seat, with her face in her hands.

"Julia... You okay?"

She nods 'Yes'. After taking a deep breath, she fixes her posture.

"Anything else?"

Hmm... Was there anything else?

I ran through everything that happened over the past few days in my mind. How JJ told me that he wasn't very comfortable in his clothes and when I saw his character in the game wearing the prom dress. What else? Oh, yeah...

"Well, my dingus of a brother would come home wearing this old hoodie I gave him all the time, like last week, even though it's hot as hell outside! Like, who does that-"

I jolted in surprise as Julia snapped up and reached down beside her. She quickly rummaged through what I think was her backpack on the side of her chair. She then popped back up, holding her own old, dark-red hoodie with a faded design of a cartoon character on the front for me to see.

The first thing that jumped to mind was "WHYYY are you guys walking around with hoodies in the summertime?!"

"Oh my god..." Julia rolled her eyes. "Do you seriously not have any idea as to what's going on with your brother?"

"No? That's why I'm asking you?"

That was a lie. I did have a small idea as to what was happening with my brother. I just didn't want to admit it to myself, especially with what was most likely the answer sitting right beside me.

"Maya..." Julia said slowly.

"Yeah..."

"I'm gonna need you to read that pamphlet."

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