Chapter 37: 37

“Onee-chan… aren’t you going to sleep yet?”

 

From outside the door, I heard Misuzu’s concerned voice.

 

It was eleven o’clock at night, a time when good children are long asleep.

 

I decided to scold her a little harshly because it will affect her child’s growth.

 

“Mhn.”

 

I tried my best to make an angry face and spoke louder.

 

“O-Okay~ I’m going to sleep now!”

 

Misuzu, whose passion was received, totters and stamps her feet as if in a hurry.

 

(Why can’t she see my expression, when she can feel my intention…?)

 

We are having a conversation across the door.

 

While I was having my doubts, Misuzu went back to her room.

 

After that, Inside the quiet and still room, I run my pen again.

 

“….”

 

It was good that she was there a while ago… but I still feel lonely when I am alone.

 

(Back then… I loved it so much.)

 

Until I was in elementary school, I loved learning.

 

I would recite in the class and get applause from everyone.

 

I would take the textbook to the kids who didn’t understand the lessons and teach them, and I myself was deepening my understanding.

 

But the moment I couldn’t open my mouth… I felt left alone.

 

I couldn’t speak, I couldn’t raise my hand, I couldn’t go teach.

 

I couldn’t exchange opinions, and every time there was a Japanese class where we needed to read aloud, I was skipped over.

 

I remember being very bored in class during junior high school, as if I didn’t exist in the classroom.

 

It just went on and on, and now I am in this kind of situation.

 

(…I want to go to the aquarium with Ryu…)

 

With that one thought in mind, I go over the questions I didn’t understand.

He assured me that I would pass the exam, but to be honest, I was saved by luck in Math.

 

I was mostly guessing on the choice questions, and there were some questions that I had skipped over but happened to get the right answer.

 

If I failed any of them, the date he had invited me on would all be for naught.

 

“…Nuu…”

 

As if to hinder my determination, sleep suddenly overtook me.

 

I rubbed my eyes to wake myself up from sleep then made the lights even brighter.

 

(…I swear, I’m going to get it right this time…)

 

He knew how I felt, and he understood that I liked him.

 

Then, the next step would be to go out with him.

 

But this time, gestures, hugs, and kisses would not convey my feelings.

 

(…I have to learn to open my mouth soon.)

 

The rehab was working because the director told me so.

 

It may not be by the time of the aquarium, but at least by this year… I want to have a relationship with him.

 

(But… Ryu probably doesn’t like me…)

 

As I was correcting the mistake, the tip of the eraser I was using came off.

 

Call it a woman’s intuition, but I had been aware of it for some time.

 

(Being involved with him was not enough… maybe I should do as my dad said… )

 

The advice my father gave me… was to be natural.

 

He told me to don’t think about his feelings for me at all, I just have to show myself as I am.

 

It was rare for my father to say such a thing to me.

 

(Did he have some kind of secret talk with him on the way home?)

 

At first, I preferred to be approached by him… but lately, I’ve been approaching him to make him fall in love with me.

 

(I should reflect on this…)

 

I feel a little too ahead of my time, and because of it I suddenly felt embarrassed.

 

But he was a very attractive guy.

 

I’m afraid that if I don’t do this, other girls would make a mark on him soon, and to be honest, I’m not too worried about it.

 

His body was thin but actually quite muscular.

 

His face was also very cool, but… if he were to get his hair done, he would immediately become the center of attention from the girls. (TLN: kekw.)

 

(Wait, no! I need to focus…)

 

I’m almost done reviewing, so with my last ounce of strength, I solved the rest of the problems.

 

——

 

“How did it go, Aikawa-san, do you think you’re going to pass?”

“…Mhn…”

 

I then took the retest with lack of sleep.

 

I was the only one to take the retest in all four subjects, so I was locked in the conference room until lunchtime.

 

To be honest, I did better than I expected. Except for… Math.

 

“Aikawa, the result for the retest is back.”

 

The system was that we, the retest group, are called by our homeroom teacher to pick them up in a nearby empty classroom.

 

Our homeroom teacher, Sanada-sensei, called my name in a cheerful voice that dispelled my anxiety.

 

“Aikawa-san, go ahead.”

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“…Mhn…”

 

I walked out into the hallway, then opened the door and entered the empty classroom.

 

Sanada-sensei was sitting close by with an empty seat placed in front of her.

 

“You have improved so much, Aikawa!”

 

When I sat down, Sanada-sensei immediately praised me first.

 

“….”

 

I almost jumped up at what he said, but I desperately suppressed the urge.

 

“Here are the results of the retest. The passing line this time is set at a slightly lower 60 points.”

 

She held out a brown envelope in Infront of me.

 

I hesitantly accepted the envelope and opened it.

 

“I know a little bit about how hard Aikawa has been working.”

“?”

 

I have been in the same class with Sanada-sensei since the first year, but it has been quite a while since she mentioned my situation.

 

I was a little surprised about it, and because of that I turned my attention to her.

 

“I honestly think it’s wonderful that you were able to make it this far in such a difficult situation.”

“…Mhn”

 

I nodded, then Dr. Sanada tapped me on the shoulder, and said, “Congratulations.”

 

I opened the envelope and found four sheets of paper in it.

 

They were the question papers for the retest that I had solved in the morning.

 

I slowly took out the papers and checked the scores one by one.

 

If even one of these scores was in the 50’s, that whole event would have never happened.

 

My fingers naturally trembled and sweat trickled down my hands. The teacher said nothing and continued to stare at me.

 

(All right…)

 

After that I slowly checked my scores.

 

82, 76, 78… and the math was…

 

“You passed all of them… Aikawa-san did a really great job.”

 

62 points. It was written so, in a dark red pen.

 

I involuntarily made a small gut punch.

 

A sense of accomplishment and anxiety combined made a sense of joy that I’m not even quite sure what it was.

 

I then put the test away in the envelope and quietly exhaled.

 

(Happy, I’m so happy…)

 

If I was in our home, I would be jumping up and down on my bed right now.

 

However, I’m in school, and in front of my teacher right now.

 

I listen to her story, trying hard to hold back my joy.

 

“To be honest, even in the staff room, there were many teachers who were worried about you, Aikawa.”

“….”

 

That would certainly be true. If I fail to pass again this time, my unofficial score will be much worse.

 

I am glad that they were worried about me, but on the other hand, I feel sorry for them.

 

“The teachers were relieved to see the results this time around.”

“Mhn.”

 

Sanada-sensei said this as she re-tied her own hair.

 

Her characteristic ponytail was swaying cheerfully today. I thought it was rude but she looked very pretty.

 

“Want me to guess why your scores went up?”

 

Suddenly, the teacher points the tip of his pen at me while grinning.

 

No one else would know why I worked so hard… or so I thought.

 

“It’s because of ‘love’, am I right?”

 

the teacher perfectly hit the nail on the head with her guess.

 

“Mhn!?”

 

I scream out loud at the unexpected event. As I got up from my chair, I heard a giggle sound.

 

“Well, it just goes to show that teachers look out for their students more than anyone else. Just hang in there all right~”

 

Will she guess who’s the guy too? I shook my head as best I could.

 

Perhaps my reaction looked funny, Sanada-sensei smiled and got up from her chair.

 

“I guess you’ll never know what’s going to happen.”

 

Sanada-sensei then said, “Good luck” to me again and left while cheerfully laughing.

 

“….”

 

I felt indebted to Sanada-sensei.

 

When I first entered the school, I was spoken to by my classmates many times.

 

She followed me closely when I got in trouble at that time, and because of that Sanada-sensei’s presence in my life was quite significant.

 

For me, I don’t want my illness to be known.

 

I had no problem telling her, because I was going to tell her in the first place, but I really didn’t want to be perceived as a special child

 

(However, she doesn’t treat me as a special kid…)

 

Right now, there was no one in this room but me.

 

If it were true, I’d go back to him right now…

 

(Aquarium… At an aquarium just the two of us…♪)

 

I just want to bask in the joy for just a few moments.

 

In the end I continued to smile sloppily as I lay down at my desk until the bell for lunchtime rang.

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