Chapter 13: 12

But an even more surprising thing happened.

I don’t know how he interpreted the reason for my hesitation, but Ares Jupiter splashed into the water without even paying attention to getting his clothes wet!

He held out his hand and said to me, as I stood with a hat in one hand and a rolled up skirt in the other. 

“Give me the hat and hold my hand.”

I was astonished but I handed him my hat and took his hand. 

Worried that I might slip and fall, I held his hand tighter. 

When I was almost out of the water, I let go of his hand. 

It was really embarrassing.

Ugh, what should I do now? Still, let’s just say thank you. 

“… … Thank you.”

Then Ares took out a handkerchief from his arms with a reddened face. 

“It is better to wipe the water off with this.”

I took the handkerchief and hurriedly dried my legs.

Oh my God, in that short time, the color of my skin had changed.

The water was as cold as ice after all…

I just had to wipe off the water, but Ares, who came into the water without minding his clothes was soaking wet. If he doesn’t dry it, it’ll be very cold. 

Perhaps he noticed my worried gaze, and he said with a soft smile. 

“It’s fine. Because the weather is nice, it looks like it will dry up quickly.”

“Yes… … .”

Sigh. 

Ares saw my humiliation today which could last a lifetime.

I hurriedly moved toward my drawing tool to leave the place. 

“Oh, you were painting.”

Suddenly he came closer to me. I responded quickly, trying to hide the sketch. 

“Yes.”

With my back on him, I began to pick up painting tools. Then Ares’ voice was heard behind me. 

“Ah… … . do you want to go now?”

“Yes.”

Oh my gosh, I was so embarrassed that I couldn’t even make eye contact. I thought no one was there, so I rolled up my clothes and went into the water!

I am one of those ordinary women who want to show only their pretty side in front of the man I like! 

Even if I’m the flower of high society, I’m a woman above all! Ahh, this is so shameful! 

He saw my thighs, didn’t he?

I was preparing to run away without even fixing my crumpled skirt properly when I heard Ares’ voice again.

“… … Am I making you uncomfortable?”

I stopped moving. Because his voice sounded like he had been hurt somehow.

 

Then I quickly looked back at how my actions would have been misunderstood by him.

 I just wanted to get out of here quickly, thinking about my embarrassment.

However, from Ares’ perspective, even though he was helping me, I did not make eye contact and just rushed, so maybe he thought it was quite rude. 

Sigh. In any case, when I realized that my actions might have seemed quite offensive to him, I decided to apologize politely.

I slowly turned my back, and instead of looking directly into Ares’ eyes, I placed my gaze near his lips and bowed my head slightly to apologize.

“I apologize if I offended you. I was acting a little freely, knowing that no one was there, but suddenly you showed up and I was very embarrassed.”

This was a truly sincere apology.

Why would I feel uncomfortable with him?

Rather than being uncomfortable, my heart wanted to be him more than anything else.

But anyway, I was destined not to be with him, and I was going to die soon.

 I wanted to end my life quietly while maintaining this lifestyle until the end. That means I want little to no contact with Ares.

 The closer I get to him, the more painful it seems to be to accept my death.

I’m not sure how my words sounded to him. 

Whether he accepted my apology or not, he did not respond.

After a while, I looked up and gently lifted my head. Is he very angry?

“I… … . You must have been very upset. I’m really sorry.”

There is nothing more miserable than having someone I love hate me. 

When I die, I don’t want to leave a bad impression on Ares.

He shut his mouth and looked at me for a long time.

Sigh. It looks like he’s very angry. How do I appease him?

As I was thinking of all sorts of things in my head, he slowly opened his mouth.

“If you are embarrassed because of me, I should rather apologize. You must have been very surprised.”

“Ah, yes… … . a little… … .”

Well, isn’t he mad? Or is he just being polite even though he was angry to save my face?

Anyway, I apologized for everything, now I can leave this place!

But Ares started talking again, so I had to stay a little longer.

“Do you come here often?”

“Not often, but occasionally.”

After a moment’s hesitation, he said another word. 

“It can be dangerous to be alone in like this, so it would be better to go with a companion next time.”

Come to think of it, Ares also came alone? Leah isn’t there, where is she now? 

Ares was always with Leah, so I naturally asked him with a puzzled face.

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“How about Leah? Didn’t you come with her?”

Ares could not quickly answer my question and shut his mouth.

The expression on his face is a bit strange… …?

 

A strange silence passed between us.

Did I do something wrong? 

No matter how much I look back, I don’t think there was anything I said that could make him uncomfortable… ….

After a while, Ares finally opened his mouth.

“… … I did not come with Leah today.”

“Oh, I see!”

Then just say it, he makes people nervous for nothing.

I opened my mouth to say that I would go back, but Ares spoke first.

“Leah and I are just friends.”

“Of course. You said it before.”

At the baron’s party and at the salon, he and Leah worked hard to explain misunderstandings about themselves.

But I know the fact that the two will soon develop into lovers, so it was not wrong for me to assume that feelings are growing between them.

However, knowing fate in advance, it became a habit for me to keep tying Ares and Leah together.

I am a villainess who will strengthen their love. 

Sadly, if I intervene between the two of them, it will result in me becoming the villainess as the ‘author’ hopes.

This is probably the reason why the ‘author’ deliberately let me know that the female lead was Leah Saturnos, a fact that I didn’t actually want to know.

I wonder if I will become a villainess according to the settings.

When I declared that I wouldn’t become a villainess, maybe the ‘author’ wanted to mock me by proving that I would not be able to overcome my villainous setting.

 If she’s the ‘author’, she’ll want to see everything develop into what she had written.

I knew that.

But, I didn’t want to succumb to the fate that the ‘author’ had set for me.

Even if I couldn’t give up my love, I won’t become a villainess according to the will of the ‘author’. In the process of turning into a villainess, there will always be times when I need to make a choice, so I was thoroughly planning for the happiness of the two of them instead.

My heart ached.

However, I will die soon anyway, and that will not change because it is an important ‘pillar’ of this novel. 

Living or dying is not a matter of my choice.

So I will change what I can change at will. 

I will accept things that cannot be helped. 

I’m not going to keep crying while trying to figure out how to solve this with my own strength.

I looked back at Ares who was standing in front of me.

This man, who is more handsome and gentle than anyone I know, will be happy even without me. 

I hope that there will be only happy days with his lover on his path ahead. Sincerely.

I smiled weakly as I heard Ares explain once again that he and Leah were just friends. 

Well, let’s say that you’re friends now. But in the end, you will become lovers.

Even after I accepted his explanation, his expression still remained unresolved.

I really wanted to get out of this place now.

“Well, then I’ll just go back now. I don’t know how to react because I showed you an embarrassing side.”

I managed to get the timing right and say goodbye!

I lowered my knees slightly and tried to walk past him.

“Do you normally have those eyes?”

I was startled.

My eyes? So suddenly… …?

“Bianca, your eyes… … it’s like the light is… … .”

Ares was confused as he tried to put the words together.

I looked at him still to understand what he was thinking. 

After meeting the ‘author’, my sudden change seemed to be noticed by Ares Jupiter too, who barely had any interaction with me.

My acting skills are really close to zero. Usually, in high society, the ability to maintain a poker face is also necessary.

 I’m usually pretty good at it, but now I couldn’t do it when I have to hide a really crucial secret.

I don’t know what to say in response. 

I can’t tell him, ‘Actually, this world is fiction and I’m going to die soon.’

Fortunately, Ares didn’t seem particularly interested in hearing my answer either.

I just skimmed past him and got on the horse.

I’ve already said goodbye, so I won’t have to do it again. I ran out of the place without looking back.

His confused expression caught my attention. It looked like he wanted to say something more.

But, what does he have to say to me? In the first place, there was never a personal interaction between us. Until Leah Saturnos appears.

Of course, I knew his face and name. Isn’t it natural? He was famous among the nobles anyway.

I didn’t think much of it until I found out that the reality of my unrequited love was the setting of the ‘author’, I relentlessly tried to find the reason why I fell in love with him. 

But to think that I love him simply because he is popular with others? It made me try to not like him. Because I think love at first sight is absurd.

After talking with the ‘author’ I knew the reason why. I couldn’t help but fall for him at first sight. Because the ‘author’ made it that way.

What would I have been like if the ‘author’ had not set it that way and I could choose to love him or not with my own free will?

If the ‘author’ had appeared first and said, ‘You’re going to love Ares Jupiter!’ before I met him in my debut, I probably wouldn’t have loved him.

Who dares to control my emotions?

The ‘author’ may not think of me as a person but as a piece of paper, however, there is no need for me to regard myself that way.

No matter what anyone says, I am truly alive and have a will. At least I didn’t want to follow anyone’s instructions or settings and choose at my own will.

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