『Tomorrow, I have something I need to discuss with you, so can you wait for me at the classroom for 30 minutes?』
Yesterday, after crying for quite a while, Koyomi said so and left.
This 30 minutes is probably the time for her to decide her resolve.
Do you honestly need that much time? Is what I thought, well, it takes a different kind of courage to tell your ex everything and then confess again as compared to just telling your feelings to the person you like.
I feel guilty from my point of view, as if I’m the only one who will know what’s going to happen from now on.
But, I don’t care!
Even if I did care, I couldn’t help it.
I couldn’t fall in love with her.
After 10 minutes of waiting, Akira who has been waiting with me suddenly asked me a question.
“…………….In the end how was it? Regarding her.”
“Nn? What do you mean? Were you talking about Koyomi?”
“No, that’s not it………The reason you accepted the false confession was because you were slightly interested in her right?”
Aah, so it’s about that.
Or rather, do you have to ask that now? Was what I thought on my mind but we have some time until Koyomi arrives.
Even if Akira asked me at this point, I won’t change my mind, there’s no problem.
“Nnー? I’m not really sure……….Come to think of it, I don’t think I’ve done anything too romantic with Koyomi since it’s troublesome……”
“Fuーn. Well then, just tell me what you’re going to do!”
“What am I going to do for what?”
“Koyomi’s confession.”
“No, I can’t do that. First I have to tell Koyomi, right?”
“Heeー, weren’t you planning on rejecting her?”
“That is a secret…..”
“Then won’t you tell me about your feelings?”
“What are you talking about?”
“The other day you told me that you would tell me all of your feelings right?”
“What’s the difference between this question and the previous one?”
“I won’t ask about the results………okay?”
“Okay? Even if you say that……….Well, I guess I can tell you that much at least?”
“Ooh! As expected!”
“Yes yes……….At first I guess I didn’t really care. I knew she was lying to me, so I didn’t get nervous when she confessed. And at the time I was worrying about the new book release.”
“I don’t think you will even be nervous even if it’s not a false confession!”
“Be quiet…….And then well, when the baseball ball was flying, my body moved on its own. But now when I think about it, the ball itself is small, weren’t there better ways that I could have tried to save her? So when I received her confession I thought of her as a plague. Like did I even doubt her?”
“UnUn”
“When that one fan of hers came to the classroom, I wondered if the same kind of thing would happen in the future too. I almost fainted at the thought.”
“Hee. Were there still people who say that to you even now?”
“Un. Well, once they come they never stop coming.”
“As expected…..”
“After that, I would meet with her ex-boyfriend and listen to him talking endlessly, wasting my time talking about things I don’t really care about. I thought my tears were going to tear off. And when the ex-boyfriend left, she started crying so I was in a hurry.”
“Heeー. Then how was the date?”
“Nnー, I had fun going to the cafes and the amusement parks, you know? But…”
“But?”
“I don’t think I really enjoyed being together with Koyomi. Even now it wasn’t as if I really like Koyomi, and going on a date with her wasn’t really that fun. No, I even thought it was troublesome.”
“? I don’t really understand but you thought that playing itself is fun but the date was boring?”
“Well, that’s true. I think it was closer to boredom…………..but,”
“I wasn’t really bored. I never really felt bored when we were together. I admit that I do feel like going home at times, but never did I want to stop. I don’t know what she is usually like, but the world looks different.”
“Oh, ohー! Kouyou!”
“You’re loud….”
I had just finished talking and was about to take out a book to read when the classroom door opened and a male classmate walked in and looked at me with a surprised look on his face.
“Ah? It’s Kiyama!”
“Nn? What’s the matter?”
“No, just a while ago Tachibana-san was running away from the classroom. It looked as if she was leaving so I thought you were going to wait for her somewhere else….”
“Maybe she went back home first?”
“Eh? Uーn………probably…?”
“Ko, Kouyou? She only heard up until the…. Middle? When you said that it wasn’t fun…..”
“For the time being……I’ll wait………”
And after that, she didn’t come even after the promised 30 minutes.
I and Akira began our great search.
◇◇◇◇◇
(Koyomi’s POV)
I had 30 minutes to talk with Ena and the others while making my final preparations.
It didn’t take as long as I thought. Yesterday was really hard for me, but somehow today I was able to think positively instead of negatively.
It was probably because I mysteriously thought I’d be fine when I was protected yesterday.
But that was just a facade. I was mistaken.
I thought I would go to the classroom earlier, I was wondering what Kouyou and the others are talking about. I wasn’t planning on eavesdropping but I heard everything.
“Yes yes……….At first I guess I didn’t really care. I knew she was lying to me, so I didn’t get nervous when she confessed. And at the time I was worrying about the new book release.”
Eh? So he knew?
Then he really wasn’t in love with me……..
But, to go out with me even after knowing all that……
I continued on listening after that.
And I heard that.
“I don’t think I really enjoyed being together with Koyomi. Even now it wasn’t as if I really like Koyomi, and going on a date with her wasn’t really that fun. No, I even thought it was troublesome.”
That…………can’t be………..
So does that mean……..
That smile…..all of it………….wasn’t directed at me………?
“Well, that’s true. I think it was closer to boredom…………..but,”
I know that
I knew that the chances of being rejected were higher.
But Kouyou knew all about it, and on top of that, he didn’t like me.
I didn’t mind if he dumped me because of the punishment.
But when I am denied like this, it is harder than I imagined.
I get it. I know that I shouldn’t run away.
But, my feet didn’t stop.
The tears flowed naturally before I could think to hold them back.
I don’t want it. I don’t want to break up. I don’t want it.