Chapter 30: Chapter 30 – Please Help Me

"What did you do?"

"Why did you do that?"

"Are you happy?"

"You are a monster."

I opened my eyes and saw myself in a dark space as I heard some voices. Was it my voice? Wait, that's not my voice anymore. It is my old voice. I'm a woman now.

"Where am I?" I asked, hoping for an answer, but all I could hear were people condemning me for what I had done. This continued for a few minutes, and then some images were transmitted.

My image was being transmitted. I approached those children and killed them all.

Watching this, I was silent, without knowing what to say while still hearing all those voices cursing me. Then the guilt started to hit me again.

The same feeling. That same feeling as when I was crying in the alley.

Small tears appeared in my eyes, and the "video" of the children's death began to transmit again.

"I don't want to see that again." I tried to turn my head, but I was held back by hands that held my head tightly. I also tried to close my eyes, but two more hands appeared and held my eyelids so I couldn't close my eyes.

I tried to move my hands and legs, but they were also being held.

"Damn, what the fuck is this?!" I started crying as I continued to hear those voices and the images replayed. I couldn't move, and it was desperate.

"Please, I didn't do that because I wanted to. It was that God. I'm sure it was him. Please." I began to whine. Then the images were paused as if they were on a computer screen.

Then I noticed that the children in the image began to move and stand up. They were acting as if they were zombies. The injuries that I had caused were still in the same place.

The four children started walking toward me.

They came out of the image and arrived in the same dark space I was in. I began to tremble as I tried to free myself from the hands holding me, but it was no use.

My strength was gone.

"Please..." I said once again as I cried and watched the four children approach me.

They then stopped a few feet away from me. The older child stepped forward. His eyes were lifeless.

"Why did you do that? What did we do to you?" The boy asked, but I didn't know what to answer. He shouted, angry, "TELL ME, WHAT DID WE DO?!" But I couldn't answer.

I didn't want to do that. How can I explain?

"I'm sorry." I said. But the little boy didn't accept my apology. Even with his emotionless face, I could see that he was angry.

"Why did you do this to us? We were suffering enough, and you...." This was the little girl saying. She took a few steps forward and approached me. She was about three feet away from me when I noticed tears in her empty eyes.

"I wanted to help my brother... You ended all that." The little girl said desperately.

"I'm sorry..."

"YOU THINK SORRY IS ENOUGH?!" The girl screamed loud enough to hurt my ears. I gritted my teeth, and tears started streaming down my face again.

I did something unforgivable, but I didn't want to do it.

All the children started shouting at the same time. I began to feel like the worst person. It was a feeling of disgust against myself.

"I didn't want to do that. Why did you make me do that? YOU BASTARD GOD!" I screamed. I started cursing that God in every possible way.

The children then started screaming along with me while cursing me. I was going crazy. I just wanted to disappear from this place. I want to wake up from this nightmare.

"Calm down."

"Huh?"

However, a soft, welcoming voice brought back my sanity. It was as if his voice hit my brain directly, and all that anger and despair disappeared instantly.

####

"Calm down."

"Who are you? Make those things go away!" I shouted at that voice.

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"Calm down."

"..." I took a deep breath, and then all those voices started to disappear. Those hands that were grabbing me also started to disappear slowly. I then closed my eyes and took another deep breath.

When I opened my eyes, everything was gone.

"..." I looked around and saw nothing but darkness.

"I'm here." I heard q voice behind me. I quickly turned around and took a few steps away. Standing there, I could see a beautiful woman with long silver hair and a slender body.

Her eyes had different colors, just like mine. Her right eye was red, and her left eye had a beautiful light green color. I didn't have to think much to know who that person was.

"You are the heroine."

"That's right. It's a pleasure to meet you, Sophia. Or should I call you James? Fufufu." After her laugh, I looked down at my own body and finally noticed that I was in my original body.

The body I was wearing when I was James.

"It would be weird to call me Sophia while I'm like this, so call me James."

"Sure."

"But why are you here?"

"I'm here to help you. You're using my body, so I want help you get rid of all this stuff you're feeling."

"Your body? But our appearance is completely different."

"The body was modified so that you could use it."

"I see. Are you a reincarnated person like me?"

"No, I was born in that world you are in. But many years ago... I was from a family of elves and humans. See." The heroine pulled her hair back and showed her ear that was a bit pointed.

"A half-elf?"

"Exactly."

"How did you become the heroine?"

"I don't remember very well, I forgot a lot of things. The only thing I remember was that one day I woke up with some crazy goals in my mind."

"Just like mine goals in the list?"

"Exactly. Destroy the world... I don't remember how I felt when I was asked to destroy the world, but I'm sure I felt horrible or maybe I just ignored it all like it was just silly."

"..."

"I was very young then. But the years went on, and I started to develop some feelings. I kept away from people even though I was hailed as a heroine and was a popular person."

"And gradually you developed anger against humanity?"

"Something like that. It was as if all that anger against humanity had been injected into me with a syringe. That anger was fermenting in me until it exploded all at once. When that happened, all those goals on your list came to mind again."

"..."

"Half the capital was destroyed and then I was killed. It was a painful thing, you know? I was completely out of control and I felt really bad. I was suffering, but I couldn't control myself. Just like when you killed those children."

"..."

"I'm here to help you. I can help you bring those children back, after that I will be here to help you whenever you want. You need to control yourself, you can't let anger consume you."

"Please help me."

 

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